* Posts by Jay Lenovo

454 publicly visible posts • joined 26 Jan 2018

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Awkward... Revealed Facebook emails show plans for data slurping, selling access to addicts' info, crafty PR spinning

Jay Lenovo

Re: I'm shocked I tell you ...

Picturing Zuck and his roadies slurping all that personal user data, while singing a Facebook parody of Ted Nugent's song "It's a free for all"

Former headteacher fined £700 after dumping old pupil data on server at new school

Jay Lenovo

Re: Costs of £364.08

8P ?

A coy suggestion to the guilty about the significance of change?

Or maybe whatever numbers the judge found in his lunchtime fortune cookie.

Waiter, what's this? SpaceX delivery delayed for a day by moldy food

Jay Lenovo

Re: Did you miss something off that list of cargo?

Santa's Russian elves said they were drilling holes in the capsule... naughty list.

Instead of lumps of coal, moldy mouse food, but Santa's helpers reconsidered.

Tumblr resorts to AI in attempt to scrub itself clean from filth

Jay Lenovo
Facepalm

Boobs, Shaded like Boobs, and Right said Fred

All... Too sexy for Tumblr

Naked women cleaning biz smashes patriarchy by introducing naked bloke gardening service

Jay Lenovo

No, sometimes clothes are your friend

It's like inviting the nearly naked people you see in National Geographic into your residence to do everyday drudgery.

Good nudity has a context. It's hard (but not that type of hard) to fathom the viewing of household chores done in the nude, as the most efficient means of getting visual pleasure and/or a day's work done.

Keep the nudity fun, not laborious.

Tesla autopilot saves driver after he fell asleep at wheel on the freeway

Jay Lenovo

Easy to Spot

Driving between the lines isn't typical of most any, driver of California roads, obviously some sort of artificial intelligence must be at play.

Way too automated and as it ends up, way too wrong.

It's 'nyet' again, yet again, for Kaspersky: Appeal against US govt ban snubbed by Washington DC court

Jay Lenovo
Holmes

It's not the software, it's the owners.

Code can be farmed from anywhere by any company.

The bottom line is that governments prefer access to the people responsible, when or if something were to be found that violated their laws.

Russia rarely (more like never) extradites people for such crimes. This level of tolerable abuse makes trust, closer to the blind or visually impaired variety.

Google internal revolt grows as search-engine Spartacuses prepare strike over China

Jay Lenovo
Unhappy

What we say vs What we do

'...to organize the world’s information and make it universally accessible and useful'."

The world is a both a good and evil place. Inventors don't get to choose how a tool is utilized, only suggest.

The crime is that Google is afraid to make information accessible and useful even with itself.

In practice, the mission is moral on the label, but monetized at the core. Unfortunately, a new label may be in order, as the moral slant appears to have become old tech.

OneDrive is broken: Microsoft's cloudy storage drops from the sky for EU users

Jay Lenovo
Angel

Modern Milli Vanilli CEO's

Go on and blame it on the cloud...

'Cause the cloud don't mind

And the cloud don't care

You can't blame me with nothing

Gigabit? More like, you can gigabet the US will fall behind on super-fast broadband access

Jay Lenovo
Coat

Jealous, or maybe not

Super high speed internet behind a Great Meddling Firewall.

Yet... still can't download freedom. Minor glitch I guess

What a meth: Woman held for 3 months after cops mistake candy floss for hard drugs

Jay Lenovo
Black Helicopters

A reason? How about wearing white after Labor Day.

One of the more absurd reasons is on the suspicion that the driver was not buckled up (click-it or ticket).

The only reason "your safety" stopped being a choice was the police's need to snoop and the insurance companies desire to raise rates.

It's uneasy to share the community with law enforcement as friends, when a "cotton candy" misunderstanding can put you in jail with thousands in legal fees.

The antisocial network: 'Facebook has a black people problem,' claims staffer in exit salvo

Jay Lenovo

You may openly speak, until we disagree

Facebook? ...executing a policy of prejudiced inclinations with non-violent content. Surely, you must jest.

Facebook is getting away from facilitating conversation to trying to regulate it.

The position was destined for failure.

It's a patch bonanza as Microsoft showers its OS platforms with update love

Jay Lenovo

Re: Let's be fair to MS (thought experiment)

Stability for an OS, doesn't equate to revenue as it once did. Issues ensure that you remain paranoid enough to stay on contract.

Windows 10 is now just a software casino game, with the product ensured to be as stable as the satisfaction with the latest earnings report.

Microsoft reveals terrible trio of bugs that knocked out Azure, Office 362.5 multi-factor auth logins for 14 hours

Jay Lenovo
Unhappy

MFA broken again

Single points of failure, certainly not in a cloud service...Still it all comes tumbling down.

Jay Lenovo
Facepalm

Re: 3 root causes???

Dumb and Dumber to Dumberer

(Harry and Lloyd found new employment).

We're left tripping all over that mess, but like the sequel, not very funny.

Seeing as Bitcoin is going so, so well, Ohio becomes first US state to take biz taxes in BTC

Jay Lenovo
Mushroom

Is this Josh Mandel's or Tom Noe's Idea?

I thought Ohio had learned from "Coingate", well at the minimum Josh Mandel hasn't.

Drop a lit match as you leave office, and thank you very much.

Microsoft confirms: We fixed Azure by turning it off and on again. PS: Office 362 is still borked

Jay Lenovo

Re: Totally waiting for office 303 to come out

When it comes to control, there is a certain advantage to the "onsite" cloud.

Wombats literally sh!t bricks – and now boffins reckon they know how

Jay Lenovo
WTF?

Kinda macabre, but alright

Just one of the many fun things you can do with roadkill in Georgia

Azure, Office 365 go super-secure: Multi-factor auth borked in Europe, Asia, USA

Jay Lenovo
Facepalm

MF to the A

Darn, somebody secured the keys to the cloud, in the cloud.

Anybody got a cloudy coat hanger?

Pick three people you think will replace Google Cloud CEO Greene, then forget them – because it's Thomas Kurian

Jay Lenovo

Re: Props to Greene

Nice read

EMC purchases VMware @ $625 million in 2003. Vmware, now estimated to be worth $48 Billion.

Assuming she still owns some shares, why are you working again?

Trump in Spaaaaaaace: Washington DC battles over who gets to decide the rules of trillion-dollar new industry

Jay Lenovo
Childcatcher

Re: The FCC - who controls space?

The power to control "space" goes no further than a bureaucrat's keyboard.

If at first or second you don't succeed, you may be Microsoft: Hold off installing re-released Windows Oct Update

Jay Lenovo
Facepalm

Microsoft Calculator 1810

Results can now be displayed in units of "close enough".

5.. 4.. 3.. 2.. 1... Runty-birds are go: 12,000+ internet-beaming mini-satellites OK'd by USA

Jay Lenovo
Unhappy

Re: What could possibly...

I expect nothing worse than how we manage things thrown in the ocean.

...Chief "Iron Eyes Cody" looks to the sky and feels another tear role down his face.

John McAfee is 'liable' for 2012 death of Belize neighbour, rules court

Jay Lenovo
Coat

Terms and Conditions

Sometimes your moral AV software goes awry and deletes a neighbor.

Unfortunate, but from now on that neighbor is whitelisted.

Japanese cyber security minister 'doesn't know what a USB stick is'

Jay Lenovo
Trollface

Sorry, I just manipulate people

Leaders of large numbers don't need to know all the details, that's for middle management. High ranking folk focus on the big picture.

A picture so BIG apparently usb sticks, computers, IoT devices are quantum particles, which can't be observed without meddling with the desired result.

US China-watcher warns against Middle Kingdom tech dominance

Jay Lenovo

North Korea ??!?

...China's relations with US allies, Taiwan, Hong Kong, and North Korea

A North Korean Ally, I guess from a Trump point of view.

The DMZ and Nuclear threats must just maintain happy fences.

Russia: We did not hack the US Democrats. But if we did, we're immune from prosecution... lmao

Jay Lenovo
FAIL

International Right to Privacy

Hmm.. But we already have an international law to address this (Universal Declaration of Human Rights).

Article 12 states: No one shall be subjected to arbitrary interference with his privacy, family, home or correspondence, nor to attacks upon his honor and reputation. Everyone has the right to the protection of the law against such interference or attacks.

Good thing the international community takes these violations seriously... i.e. don't expect reparations or even an apology.

Did you by chance hack OPM back in 2015? Good news, your password probably still works!

Jay Lenovo

Buckle up, or Not

An agency like a car in disrepair:

Bad tires, cracked windshield, smokey exhaust. But hey, they fixed those.

In another year they'll fix the failing brakes and maybe that burning smell.

OPM Data commutes with no fear.

Oi, Elon: You Musk sort out your Autopilot! Tesla loyalists tell of code crashes, near-misses

Jay Lenovo
Unhappy

Where's the trust?

"Autopilot system should only be used when the driver is driving with hands on the wheel. "

Autopilot, as we came to know it originally, implies "hands-off" assistance. Now in Tesla speak it comes to mean automated with hands on participation. A student driver doesn't drive with their instructor's hands on the wheel, yet the Tesla Autopilot can't be trusted for even a moment.

Maybe this "feature" is just introducing a new way to fail horrendously.

Open the pod bay doors: Voice of HAL 9000 Douglas Rain dies at 90

Jay Lenovo
Happy

Unexpected Fame

Oddly, Douglas never saw the movie for which he is lauded so much praise.

Kubrick didn't give him any context for the character of Hal, his lines were added at the last minute and took just a day and a half to finish, and after completing the work Douglas felt it was a load of rubbish.

Douglas loved performing complex Shakespearean characters. The part of Hal was a bit too cold and simplistic for his preference, but ultimately that smooth void of creepiness worked well in the film.

Somewhere both Douglas Rain and Alec Guinness are smirking it up as to how? they ended up best remembered as sci-fi characters.

Has science gone too far? Now boffins dream of shining gigantic laser pointer into space to get aliens' attention

Jay Lenovo
Happy

Pop Culture Solution

Simply sprinkle some Reese's Pieces in your backyard.

Friendly Extra Terrestrials are soon to follow.

The PCIe bus is coming, and everybody's jumping... New York to San Francisco, an NVMe disco

Jay Lenovo

A storage amusement park! (Six Flags Commercial)

Google: All right, screw it, from this Christmas, Chrome will block ALL adverts on dodgy sites

Jay Lenovo
Black Helicopters

Happier? Victims

Mosquitoes use a little local anesthetic to numb their victims before taking their meal.

Google wants the abusive websites to do the same.

Supreme Court tells Big Cable to shut up for once: Net neutrality challenge shot down

Jay Lenovo
Black Helicopters

Prediction

Many more people will need to get paid, before there's a need to figure this out.

Dawn of the dead: NASA space probe runs out of gas in asteroid belt after 6.4 billion-mile trip

Jay Lenovo
Alien

Need a lift?

We've traveled 6.4 billion miles and haven't passed even one hydrazine gas station!

Commvault revenues grow – but only just – as it switches to subscription pricing

Jay Lenovo
Holmes

New Corporate Proverb

Give a Man a Fish, and You Feed Him for a Day.

Tether a Man to your cloud, and You Feed on Him indefinitely.

Facebook sets Linux kernel tools free

Jay Lenovo

For a change

Kudos to Facebook for leaking information purposely intended to be shared.

Microsoft claims Office 364 back to business as usual. Oh no it isn't, say suffering sysadmins

Jay Lenovo
Coat

Re: Wrong name?

Maybe more appropriately, Microsoft Orifice

As in "I put my trust and data in Microsoft Orifice 365 and encountered a cloud of stink"

Cray's pre-exascale Shasta supercomputer gets energy research boffins hot under collar

Jay Lenovo

Super Cooled Rush

Shasta + DoE = New innovative energy drinks

Unsure why you can't log into Office 365? So is Microsoft

Jay Lenovo

Re: Come El Reg we know you want to say it...

Inspired by previous comments, "the cloud" really is more like "the fog".

Effectively surrounded and blinded to any trouble within.

Pirate radio = drug dealing and municipal broadband is anti-competitive censorship

Jay Lenovo
Angel

Clean signal but stale programming

In time the FCC will feel obligated to regulate the 85-255 Hz ( frequency of the human voice ).

There are a quite a few countries willing to suppress the unlicensed pirates.

Pain in the brain! Kaspersky warns of hackable brain implants

Jay Lenovo

Hackable vulnerabilities, that could force you to migrate to the eternal cloud.

Official: IBM to gobble Red Hat for $34bn – yes, the enterprise Linux biz

Jay Lenovo

Hoping for the best

I'm adding Red Hat employees to next Sunday's prayer list.

Something is making them feel blue.

The D in Systemd stands for 'Dammmmit!' A nasty DHCPv6 packet can pwn a vulnerable Linux box

Jay Lenovo

Re: Meh

IPv6 and SystemD: Forced industry standard diseases that requires most of us to bite our lips and bear it.

Fortunately, IPv6 by lack of adopted use, limits the scope of this bug.

Jeez, not now, Iran... Facebook catches Mid East nation running trolly US, UK politics ads

Jay Lenovo
Angel

Security - Now Hiring

"Facebook's ballooning safety and security group, now at about 20,000 people"

Wow, that is slightly larger than the number of people on the US Border Patrol.

...Too bad both jobs are restrained in being too effective.

Californian chap sets his folks' home on fire by successfully taking out spiders with blowtorch

Jay Lenovo

Re: blow torch... pfft

Do's:

Peppermint oil, vinegar, diatomaceous earth, horse chestnuts, cleaning your house

Don'ts:

Spiders love hydrocarbons (flammable fluids). Flame throwers likely will only attract more to stop by.

If you saw a Google ad recently, know that it helped pay off one of its 'sex pest' execs $90m

Jay Lenovo

Re: different rules

Apparently Google believes inappropriately acquired oral servicing costs, (150-90) 60 million.

For lesser employees (like the other 48), if you can't pay that amount, I guess you just get fired.

Got a new Surface? Have some firmware. Old Surface? La la la la la, we can't hear you

Jay Lenovo
Alert

Surface Tension

My NFL Football team has lost the last couple of weeks.

Could it be because the other teams knew better, than to allow updates on their sideline Surface Tablets?

Bill Belichick doesn't use the things, yet his team has gone on a winning streak ...hmm

Our brave El Reg vulture sat through four days of Oracle OpenWorld to write this cracking summary just for you

Jay Lenovo

Proof of Pudding

When I start hearing my existing Oracle customer colleagues happy about being Oracle customers, I will buy into the Kool-aid.

Excuse me, but have you heard the teachings of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Chr-AI-st?

Jay Lenovo

The meaning and is important, but don't discount the needlessly complex writing(or opaque writing style) shoved in there to obfuscate the real meaning to anyone but the anointed few.

Ignorance of the law is no excuse, yet it is allowed to be routinely transcribed in a cloud of pompous gobbledygook.

Even the politicians who vote for these laws are not held accountable to read and understand it beforehand.

The ambiguity is largely build-in with poor simple explanations. The courts are then tasked with making sense of it all and it is their opinions that give laws in any quality, teeth.

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