nav search
Data Centre Software Security DevOps Business Personal Tech Science Emergent Tech Bootnotes

* Posts by Jay Lenovo

279 posts • joined 26 Jan 2018


Here's 2018 in a nutshell for you... Russian super robot turns out to be man in robot suit

Jay Lenovo

Adjust the Antenna, Reality just got Fuzzy

Now if you put a Santa Claus in front of children... That's ok, the adults know better.

But a fake robot. Apparently a bridge too far..

Forget your deepest, darkest secrets, smart speakers will soon listen for sniffles and farts too

Jay Lenovo

Ew, ick, stay away

It's the normally inaudible sound analysis that looks to be scarier.

I'd have no idea what that thing was slurping.

A Christmas classic: Cloudera founder asks staff to stay another day

Jay Lenovo

Where the wild things are

"We're actively looking at ways to preserve jobs where it makes business sense to do so"

Where as before we were quite silly, and just hired to hire folk.

No, the ax swings without pity and severance is just a pittance to keep the gore of it all from public view.

Tread carefully, as merger execs are wild creatures.

Fraudster convicted of online banking thefts using… whatever the hell this thing is

Jay Lenovo

Revenge of the 80's

Looks like something a disgruntled Radio Shack employee cooked up.

Huawei exec out of jail, just as US accuses China of Marriott hack

Jay Lenovo


When will the UN come up with the ground rules for state sponsored hacking? They won't.

When you get caught with your pants down, you can't tell everyone to look away, you pull'em up and take it as a lesson learned.

Supernovae may explain mass extinctions of marine animals 2.6 million years ago

Jay Lenovo

Re: Where is everybody?

The search for Intelligent Life?

At the current success rate, alien bacteria would be a great milestone.

Doubles all round for the server-makers: Market inhales $23.36bn for the quarter

Jay Lenovo

From the results, you might conclude the South American and Australian markets must either be using other continents' cloud services or living like cavemen.

Hole-y ship: ISS 'nauts take a wander to crack Soyuz driller whodunnit

Jay Lenovo

Prank Check

I think the cosmonauts were hoping to find a doodle of a monkey pointing to the "hole" in his butt.

The comrades at the factory can be so funny.

Otherwise, this hole thing was not cool, not cool at all.

Poor people should get slower internet speeds, American ISPs tell FCC

Jay Lenovo

Re: What does "broadband" get you these days?

A little store in Bend, Oregon, sees these internet setbacks and thinks, "We can still pull this out!".

That store is... the last remaining Blockbuster.

Google CEO tells US Congress Chocolate Factory will unleash Dragonfly in China

Jay Lenovo

Don't tip over the island

Conversing with congressmen is a grab bag of fun.

Some may really know what you do, some kinda know what you do, and others wonder why Google turned off the internet the other day when their browser couldn't connect.

Super Micro says audit found no trace of Chinese spy chips on its boards

Jay Lenovo

Everything seems plausible...but has no evidence, not even a public source.

Sorry not news, but big commentary.

Waymo presents ChauffeurNet, a neural net designed to copy human driving

Jay Lenovo

Nueral Net AI Driving

They are asking too much of one AI-car to make decisions.

It would be beneficial to let AI cars share information with each other, to coordinate actions and give heads-up alerts to hazards.

There is safety in the herd. But they must be smart enough to avoid the lemming cliffs.

Salesforce has named a chief ethics officer and yes, the job description is appropriately woolly

Jay Lenovo

An ethics officer? Kind of like a well paid military chaplain in the great silicon war.

See, Big Tech does have a consciousness. They just hired someone to act as one.

If one person can administer these goals, they should proceed to hire a Chief Greatness Officer and VP of Good Ideas next.

Register Lecture: Right to strike when your boss sells AI to the military?

Jay Lenovo
Paris Hilton

That personal touch

AI killing is so cold and methodical.

I guess we would prefer the operation to be more "warm and fuzzy".

The type of killing, great grandpa used to make.

Official: Voyager 2 is now an interstellar spacecraft

Jay Lenovo

Re: I was around 50 years ago, just barely

If they wish to salvage, there are 8K+ large junk space objects, just around our own planet currently deemed too costly to retrieve.

Microsoft, you shouldn't have: Festive Windows 10 Insiders build about as exciting as new socks

Jay Lenovo

Re: Maybe they got it right this time?

"Right" is an unreachable platitude.

All we can reasonably hope for is "less wrong".

Lenovo tells Asia-Pacific staff: Work lappy with your unencrypted data on it has been nicked

Jay Lenovo

Meet our CSO, Mr. Hindsight

It seems most companies take security very seriously, when they have been breached.

Now if they could only apply this enthusiasm before a setback...

'Say hello to my little vacuum cleaner!' US drug squad puts spycams in cleaner's kit

Jay Lenovo

I just imagine the drug kingpins gathered in a room, discussing their secret plans.

"Must we use this custodial closet for every confidential conversation?"

...Double-agent Shop-Vac sits silently in the corner. Hopefully, Mop and Broom won't blow his cover.

Ecuador says 'yes' to Assange 'freedom' deal, but Julian says 'nyet'

Jay Lenovo

Turkey leaks internal Ecuadorian conversation

"Julian.. ahora eres un chico grande. You promised you'd find another amnesty job years ago. We can't continue to let you live in our embassy basement."

HCL picks up Notes, spanks total of $1.8bn at Honest John's IBM software sale

Jay Lenovo

Throwing the wedding rice, a new future awaits.

Today's IBM and Notes, has been working about as well as the partnership of water with a grease fire.

HCL at least wants (loves?) Notes. You'd have to be crazy in love to PAY for the privilege of maintaining it in the present condition.

Notes and IBM will likely still remain friends.

Forget ripping off brains for AI. Butterflies and worms could lead us to self-repairing intelligent robots, says prof

Jay Lenovo

Biological robots already exist if you consider the genetic work done with crops and bacteria.

Algorithms must be able to bridge the physical as much as the logical in order to execute. Organisms ultimately end up crowd sourcing outcomes among all their brethren cells birthed from the same DNA instructions.

The body doesn't work from one member and neither should the next tier of AI

Google: I don't know why you say Allo, I say goodbye

Jay Lenovo

If you depended on this app, Google recommends you try a new app called "Allo-vera".

It's for people who get burned.

Funnily enough, China fuming, senator cheering after Huawei CFO cuffed by Canadian cops at Uncle Sam's request

Jay Lenovo

Potentially, a economic Lusitania moment brewing here. Huawei may be guilty, but truth is a fickle concept in international matters.

Awkward... Revealed Facebook emails show plans for data slurping, selling access to addicts' info, crafty PR spinning

Jay Lenovo

Re: I'm shocked I tell you ...

Picturing Zuck and his roadies slurping all that personal user data, while singing a Facebook parody of Ted Nugent's song "It's a free for all"

Former headteacher fined £700 after dumping old pupil data on server at new school

Jay Lenovo

Re: Costs of £364.08

8P ?

A coy suggestion to the guilty about the significance of change?

Or maybe whatever numbers the judge found in his lunchtime fortune cookie.

Waiter, what's this? SpaceX delivery delayed for a day by moldy food

Jay Lenovo

Re: Did you miss something off that list of cargo?

Santa's Russian elves said they were drilling holes in the capsule... naughty list.

Instead of lumps of coal, moldy mouse food, but Santa's helpers reconsidered.

Tumblr resorts to AI in attempt to scrub itself clean from filth

Jay Lenovo

Boobs, Shaded like Boobs, and Right said Fred

All... Too sexy for Tumblr

Naked women cleaning biz smashes patriarchy by introducing naked bloke gardening service

Jay Lenovo

No, sometimes clothes are your friend

It's like inviting the nearly naked people you see in National Geographic into your residence to do everyday drudgery.

Good nudity has a context. It's hard (but not that type of hard) to fathom the viewing of household chores done in the nude, as the most efficient means of getting visual pleasure and/or a day's work done.

Keep the nudity fun, not laborious.

Tesla autopilot saves driver after he fell asleep at wheel on the freeway

Jay Lenovo

Easy to Spot

Driving between the lines isn't typical of most any, driver of California roads, obviously some sort of artificial intelligence must be at play.

Way too automated and as it ends up, way too wrong.

It's 'nyet' again, yet again, for Kaspersky: Appeal against US govt ban snubbed by Washington DC court

Jay Lenovo

It's not the software, it's the owners.

Code can be farmed from anywhere by any company.

The bottom line is that governments prefer access to the people responsible, when or if something were to be found that violated their laws.

Russia rarely (more like never) extradites people for such crimes. This level of tolerable abuse makes trust, closer to the blind or visually impaired variety.

Google internal revolt grows as search-engine Spartacuses prepare strike over China

Jay Lenovo

What we say vs What we do

' organize the world’s information and make it universally accessible and useful'."

The world is a both a good and evil place. Inventors don't get to choose how a tool is utilized, only suggest.

The crime is that Google is afraid to make information accessible and useful even with itself.

In practice, the mission is moral on the label, but monetized at the core. Unfortunately, a new label may be in order, as the moral slant appears to have become old tech.

OneDrive is broken: Microsoft's cloudy storage drops from the sky for EU users

Jay Lenovo

Modern Milli Vanilli CEO's

Go on and blame it on the cloud...

'Cause the cloud don't mind

And the cloud don't care

You can't blame me with nothing

Gigabit? More like, you can gigabet the US will fall behind on super-fast broadband access

Jay Lenovo

Jealous, or maybe not

Super high speed internet behind a Great Meddling Firewall.

Yet... still can't download freedom. Minor glitch I guess

What a meth: Woman held for 3 months after cops mistake candy floss for hard drugs

Jay Lenovo
Black Helicopters

A reason? How about wearing white after Labor Day.

One of the more absurd reasons is on the suspicion that the driver was not buckled up (click-it or ticket).

The only reason "your safety" stopped being a choice was the police's need to snoop and the insurance companies desire to raise rates.

It's uneasy to share the community with law enforcement as friends, when a "cotton candy" misunderstanding can put you in jail with thousands in legal fees.

The antisocial network: 'Facebook has a black people problem,' claims staffer in exit salvo

Jay Lenovo

You may openly speak, until we disagree

Facebook? ...executing a policy of prejudiced inclinations with non-violent content. Surely, you must jest.

Facebook is getting away from facilitating conversation to trying to regulate it.

The position was destined for failure.

It's a patch bonanza as Microsoft showers its OS platforms with update love

Jay Lenovo

Re: Let's be fair to MS (thought experiment)

Stability for an OS, doesn't equate to revenue as it once did. Issues ensure that you remain paranoid enough to stay on contract.

Windows 10 is now just a software casino game, with the product ensured to be as stable as the satisfaction with the latest earnings report.

Microsoft reveals terrible trio of bugs that knocked out Azure, Office 362.5 multi-factor auth logins for 14 hours

Jay Lenovo

MFA broken again

Single points of failure, certainly not in a cloud service...Still it all comes tumbling down.

Jay Lenovo

Re: 3 root causes???

Dumb and Dumber to Dumberer

(Harry and Lloyd found new employment).

We're left tripping all over that mess, but like the sequel, not very funny.

Seeing as Bitcoin is going so, so well, Ohio becomes first US state to take biz taxes in BTC

Jay Lenovo

Is this Josh Mandel's or Tom Noe's Idea?

I thought Ohio had learned from "Coingate", well at the minimum Josh Mandel hasn't.

Drop a lit match as you leave office, and thank you very much.

Microsoft confirms: We fixed Azure by turning it off and on again. PS: Office 362 is still borked

Jay Lenovo

Re: Totally waiting for office 303 to come out

When it comes to control, there is a certain advantage to the "onsite" cloud.

Wombats literally sh!t bricks – and now boffins reckon they know how

Jay Lenovo

Kinda macabre, but alright

Just one of the many fun things you can do with roadkill in Georgia

Azure, Office 365 go super-secure: Multi-factor auth borked in Europe, Asia, USA

Jay Lenovo

MF to the A

Darn, somebody secured the keys to the cloud, in the cloud.

Anybody got a cloudy coat hanger?

Pick three people you think will replace Google Cloud CEO Greene, then forget them – because it's Thomas Kurian

Jay Lenovo

Re: Props to Greene

Nice read

EMC purchases VMware @ $625 million in 2003. Vmware, now estimated to be worth $48 Billion.

Assuming she still owns some shares, why are you working again?

Trump in Spaaaaaaace: Washington DC battles over who gets to decide the rules of trillion-dollar new industry

Jay Lenovo

Re: The FCC - who controls space?

The power to control "space" goes no further than a bureaucrat's keyboard.

If at first or second you don't succeed, you may be Microsoft: Hold off installing re-released Windows Oct Update

Jay Lenovo

Microsoft Calculator 1810

Results can now be displayed in units of "close enough".

5.. 4.. 3.. 2.. 1... Runty-birds are go: 12,000+ internet-beaming mini-satellites OK'd by USA

Jay Lenovo

Re: What could possibly...

I expect nothing worse than how we manage things thrown in the ocean.

...Chief "Iron Eyes Cody" looks to the sky and feels another tear role down his face.

John McAfee is 'liable' for 2012 death of Belize neighbour, rules court

Jay Lenovo

Terms and Conditions

Sometimes your moral AV software goes awry and deletes a neighbor.

Unfortunate, but from now on that neighbor is whitelisted.

Japanese cyber security minister 'doesn't know what a USB stick is'

Jay Lenovo

Sorry, I just manipulate people

Leaders of large numbers don't need to know all the details, that's for middle management. High ranking folk focus on the big picture.

A picture so BIG apparently usb sticks, computers, IoT devices are quantum particles, which can't be observed without meddling with the desired result.


The Register - Independent news and views for the tech community. Part of Situation Publishing