* Posts by onefang

1954 publicly visible posts • joined 22 Dec 2017

Ubuntu wants to slurp PCs' vital statistics – even location – with new desktop installs

onefang

"His post added that users could insect their own data and that the plan is to add a further opt-out possibility in GNOME's privacy settings dialog."

There's a bug in that statement.

Arrrgh! Put down the crisps! 'Ultra-processed' foods linked to cancer!

onefang
Coat

Re: Another questionable bit of diet science

"The nutbar/trendy fringe is wrong about gluten"

I didn't think there was that much gluten in nut bars.

I'll get me coat, it's the one with the packet of cashews in the pocket.

onefang
Boffin

Re: Web surevy

"I remember a BBC survey purporting to relate intelligence to diet. The survey included hundreds of self-identified vegetarians who said they ate chicken and fish."

Perhaps that was part of the intelligence test? Are you a vegetarian? Is chicken a vegetable? Is fish a vegetable?

onefang
Alert

"OK, so next compare a bread made using a French process in an English oven versus a bread made using an English process in a French oven."

Just don't try that in a Dutch oven.

onefang

Re: "containing a myriad of nutrients and food additives"

You got a myriad of replies, with myriad different answers.

Stephen Elop and the fall of Nokia revisited

onefang
FAIL

Re: Why can't Elop take credit for his achievement?

"Plus, it was based on Linux, and to date, no-one's really been able to make that work on a phone - at least, not for the mass market."

Last I checked Android is Linux, and I'm almost sure Android is mass market. On the other hand, not all Android devices are phones.

onefang
Alien

Re: See also in El Reg today

"I thought I was not a conspiracy theorist, I no longer know."

The conspiracy to turn you into a conspiracy theorist is working then.

Sorry, Elon, your Tesla roadster won't orbit for billions of years

onefang

Re: re: set the controls for the heart of the sun

"and by that time the Earth summit of technology will probably be back to the level of a grooving Pict (if we are lucky!)"

Ah, the first song I had in MP3 format where the title wouldn't fit in the ID3 tag.

onefang

Re: re: set the controls for the heart of the sun

"I'd have hit the Interstellar Overdrive button and let it keep on going."

Good idea, otherwise it'll crash into the dark side of the moon.

onefang

So while they didn't set the controls for the heart of the sun, they might hit it anyway.

Magic Leap's staggering VR goggle technology just got even better!

onefang

I've figured out what the Magic Leap tech really is!

Once they have finished pooling together all those billions of investment capital, they'll buy themselves enough congress critters to get LSD made legal. Magic Leap is merely a high tech delivery mechanism for acid trips.

onefang

"Just imagine watching a live basketball match happening right in your living room."

It would have to be a one on one match between two under age midgets to fit in my living room.

Bloke sues Microsoft: Give me $600m – or my copy of Windows 7 back

onefang
Mushroom

Re: Superfluous step

"Some things need to be killed with fire. Just to be sure."

And then nuked from orbit.

You're decorating it wrong: Apple HomePod gives wood ring of death

onefang

Re: Apple home furnishings range.

Wouldn't that mean desks that can only have Apple products put on them, chairs that only an iBum can sit in, and toilets that only accept Apple iSplatters?

Roses are red, are you single, we wonder? 'Cos this moth-brain AI can read your phone number

onefang

Is Artificial Intelligence metamorphing into Artificial Insects? Might be impossible to get the bugs out.

onefang

So they can sniff out a phone number?

IBM declares it's the 'backbone of the world's economy'

onefang
Holmes

Re: IBM As Part Of Anatomy

Alimentary my dear Watson.

onefang

'Christ, they're still banging on about "transformation". I left there three years ago and even then they'd been pitching it for a few years already.

'They seem to be very much accelerating on their downward spiral. Still, the execs have their exit plan.'

An accelerating downward spiral is a transformation, just not the one they where / are banging on about.

Microsoft working to scale Blockchain for grand distributed ID scheme

onefang

Re: What is the fundamental purpose of ID?

"It's no more than a door key. And if I am authorised to open the door on my house, and also the door on my office and to start my car, there is absolutely no need to link the three together."

Many people link those together, on the same key ring.

Hate to ruin your day, but... Boffins cook up fresh Meltdown, Spectre CPU design flaw exploits

onefang

So what we need is Optimus Prime to step up and sort out all these bad CPUs once and for all. nVidia's Optimus chips might be good for something after all.

Mars is red, Earth is blue. Here's a space laser story for you

onefang
Pint

"I'll even eat the chicken if the sauce is not too blue."

Have a beer for the ZZ Top reference.

onefang

"Scanning Habitable Environments with Raman and Luminescence for Organics and Chemicals"

Am I the only one that read that as "Ramen"? Ramen, Organics, and Chemicals, sounds like a meal. Pop them in the microwave for the Luminescence, nuke it 'til it glows. Don't leave it in the 'fridge for too long, or it will become a Habitable Environment. Think I need my word Scanning fixed.

NASA budget shock: Climate studies? GTFO. We're making the Moon great again, says Trump

onefang
Facepalm

Re: We choose to go to the Moon

"that's dawn near impossible."

Damn typoes, that's "damn", dammit!

onefang
Boffin

Re: Fools never learn

"Man is no more responsible for the climate than ants are."

Have you seen those giant ant / termite mounds in the desert, the ones bigger than a person? They are actually built with something that acts like air conditioners. Localised climate control invented by insects. The ants might not be responsible for climate change, but that's simply coz they haven't tried hard enough.

onefang

Re: Outer Space Treaty?

"Let the air out? In space? So they contain a vacuum? Then send them to the Earth? Care to explain how an iron sphere, containing nothing lighter than air but made of something much heavier than air, could float in the atmosphere?"

Well, that went down like a lead balloon.

I noticed someone else explaining hot air balloons, so I want bother.

onefang
Flame

Re: Not what they say, what they do

"Climate change is now taken as an article of faith. If you indicate any kind of disagreement, people start building bonfires to burn you with."

Noooo, not bonfires, think of the CO2 output. Better to use a solar oven.

onefang
Pint

Re: We choose to go to the Moon

"Here are the other things:"

Thanks, have a beer, or drinkable liquid of your choice.

"Why does Rice play Texas?"

The edible seeds of a popular grass plays Texas hold'em? That's beyond hard, that's dawn near impossible.

onefang

Re: We choose to go to the Moon

"We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things"

I've always wondered what those "other things" are, but never been arsed enough to actually look it up.

Face, face, face! Apple, TrueDepth and a nose-driven iPhone X game

onefang

Re: Stick one in a fridge

"… and it will know when you run out of milk, cheese, whatever and order more."

Only if your food has been left in there for long enough to evolve a face.

Data scientist wanted: Must have Python, spontaneity not required

onefang

"Going by the current state of play, most jobs involving programming, in one way or another, dont seem to be getting any suitable candidates through the interview door, never mind in the seat."

That'll be all those filters that get applied long before candidates get around to the interview. Are they under fifty? Do they look good in a business suit? Firm handshake? Are they clean shaven? Are they male with short fingernails? These are all way more important than trivialities like - can they actually program?

onefang
Unhappy

Re: I've recently

"5 to 10 years enterprise Systems Operations in Windows/Unix/Linux heterogeneous environment, Masters in Computer Science, "extensive" experience in network configuration and diagnostics, and 3 to 5 years experience in applying high security configurations to windows, linux, unix, and networking equipment."

Ten years experience with this, ten years experience with that, five years experience with something else, plus a Masters degree required, that's starting to add up to a serious amount of years. But IT companies people wont hire anyone over 50...

And don't get me started on "must have five years experience in a three year old technology".

Roses are red, Windows error screens are blue. It's 2018, and an email can still pwn you

onefang

Eventually they'll update their creators enough, that the creators will come up with a new name.

onefang

Windows has a QA / Test department, they just outsourced most of the work to the users.

UK Home Sec Amber Rudd unveils extremism blocking tool

onefang

'In a statement she said: "The purpose of these videos is to incite violence in our communities, recruit people to their cause, and attempt to spread fear in our society. Those bastards, spreading fear in our society is our job!"'

FTFY

onefang

Re: Machine learning.

"All 'terrorists' need to do is get a copy of the software and run their videos through it, making small changes until they pass. Because it uses machine learning, by its nature, this would be trivially easy."

All they need to do is put a small rainbow in one corner of their flag.

onefang

Re: What about when Daesh/ISIS become our allies against the next threat?

"We all know that old enemies can very easily become allies. How does this AI deal with that?"

Simple, just reverse the polarity. Some clever Doctor taught them that.

onefang

Re: 99.995% is impossible

"More fool them for living in a country that's trying to kill them every day."

Only on days with a 'Y' in them.

onefang

Re: 99.995% is impossible

"You laugh but an episode of Peppa Pig is banned in Australia...

(for saying spiders aren't dangerous, basically, which is a little bit misleading in Oz...)"

There's only three dangerous to people spiders in Oz, funnel web spider, jump spider, and red back spider. The jumping bird spider is only dangerous to birds, and that one that went viral carting a mouse up the side of a 'fridge, well it was just helping it's mate get to the cold cheese. As for the so called dangerous white tail spider, that one's a myth.

Facial recognition software easily IDs white men, but error rates soar for black women

onefang

"What do we do with non-binary stuff?"

Use analogue computers.

onefang

Re: HDR!

"That's IF the facial recog software can even acknowledge there IS a face,"

Or consider the photo of myself and another person I uploaded to Facebook last year. Facebooks face recognition draw a rectangle around her face, and another one around my foot. I'll admit' I'm ugly, but my feet are uglier, so that's no excuse.

onefang
Coat

Re: Film and photography have a similar issue

"That is brilliant (and what a stunning couple)."

No, some of the photos are too brilliant, some are not brilliant enough.

onefang

Re: Contrast

"Do women do anything to alter the shape or colour of their faces?"

That's exactly what make up is used for, and not only on women. Women just do it more coz more of it is marketed at them. Unless you are an actor, where some get make up to change their species.

onefang

"I wouldn't call it representative if there are no or very few people from the Indian subcontinent or east Asia, not to mention South America."

Or Australian aborigines, or several other indigenous populations.

onefang

Re: Is spreading

"Which is odd considering most programming languages ignore white space."

While that is true, Python is popular with AI coders. Maybe we need a language where black space is significant to balance things out? Followed by all the other colours.

Boffins upload worm's brain into a computer, teach it tricks

onefang
Joke

'I'm OK with that too so long as it is not these iWorms:

"14 cattle eyeworms removed from Oregon woman’s eye"'

Oh, she was eyeing off the entire Apple ecosystem then? If you look closely enough you can see the pixels in a Retina display, but that's a little too close.

onefang

Re: I wonder... @Doggy Geezer

"Shhh! Don't tell Intel! They’ve got enough worms of their own already."

Oh god, that's a spectre too horrid to contemplate, think my brain just went into meltdown.

Apple tells GitHub to fork off: iGiant steps outside DMCA law in quest to halt iBoot leaks

onefang
Pint

Re: Barbra Streisand

"Yeah, I'd fork Barbra Streisand."

Ewwww, but have an up-vote anyway. And a beer, beer goggles might help.

onefang
Mushroom

GET!

BACK!

IN!

THE!

BOTTLE!

Damn, gonna need a bigger hammer.

... after much furious swearing and loud banging ...

Oops, broke the bottle, and the genie is laughing at me. Maybe we should try the nuke from orbit option?

Talk down to Siri like it's a mere servant – your safety demands it

onefang

Re: Goodonyamate

My parents told me I was conceived in the back seat of a Holden somewhere in Melbourne, I didn't ask for more information.

"Ya old bastard."

The one bit of information I figured out for myself, is that said conception was several months before their marriage, so I'm only half a bastard.

Yorkshire cops have begun using on-the-spot fingerprint scanners

onefang
Big Brother

Re: The dystopian future

"Has been here for a while..."

FTFY