80 posts • joined 16 May 2016
Re: Denial of Service
Looping the black paper so it used all their toner/ink/ribbon too :-)
But I've heard this story from three separate people at different times, so I believe it's true.
A man starts a job at a large crisp manufacturer in the UK. Let's call them Strollers. At the time (I don't know if they still do it, because of this) all new recruits in the head office were sent to one of the manufacturing sites to see how the products were made, and what their core business was about.
They're taken through the site induction, given security passes etc, then given a tour of the offices, where they meet and greet all the local staff, before suffering a morning full of the usual corporate nonsense and lectures. Then, just before lunch, they're told that they're visiting the plant.
So they get kitted out in the relevant PPE, and *stroll* into the building. As they go in the entrance, someone in a hi-vis waistcoat explains the safety procedures, and what happens if the fire alarm sounds.
Tired after a morning full of someone else talking, and no doubt looking forward to lunch, our hero gazes off into the distance and stops listening. Somewhere along the line, he hears the words "Press the red button". Looking to his left, he sees such a red button. Pointing to it, he asks "Like this one?"
"Yes" comes the reply.
He pushes the button. There's the slow inevitable sounds of EVERYTHING turning off. Fans stop whirring, conveyor belts stop moving, ovens stop baking etc...
Then there's uncomfortable silence.
"Why did you press that?"
"Because you told me to."
"I said, 'If there's an emergency, press the red button'"...
Yes, our hero shut down *Strollers* Crisps manufacturing plant for a couple of days, as once the machines are down, everything has to be drained, cleaned, and made ready to start up again.
*names changed to protect the guilty
I was with BT Cellnet (yes, that long ago) and all was fine until I changed jobs, and couldn't get a signal in the office I worked at. Some of the people there were on Vodafone, so I switched to them. Only to find that I couldn't get a signal at home...
After a couple of years, Three started up, and I joined them, and found that I could get a signal both at home and at work, so I've been with them ever since, through two further jobs, and a house move.
GDPR prosecution, anyone?
Re: Also watch out for hidden alarms
Happy towel day!
Re: Corporate users?
Your IT guys just need to set up group policy correctly. My Windows 10 policy doesn't allow any telemetry to be sent back to M$. I'm guessing that the Office ADMX templates will be updated to reflect these changes too, and I'll just add them to the policy.
I was expecting lots of Off the Wall comments, but nothing like this Thriller...
I quite like ours...
We've got 3 of the 84" screens and 11 of the 55" ones, and they're great. You can connect wirelessly, or with cables, when you schedule the meeting, the room is invited to it and the Surface just becomes a medium for the meeting to happen in. It's part of the Skype conference, so everyone can see what's presented, you can see and hear the people who aren't in the room. Used properly, they're actually a really good collaboration tool.
*I'm not paid by Microsoft, but am entirely open to bribery..
It just needs to give you some warning before the update is installed - say 2 weeks.
"An update is available for your car, and has been downloaded. If you do not manually install it, it will be automatically installed in 14 days time".
That way you can wait and see if the update bricks anyone else's car, and if they have to rush out a fix, and the update gets installed regardless.
"I've never been a huge fan of wireless keyboards and mice in the office environment."
Nor me. At my first job, we had several people get "upgraded" to wireless mice, back when they were only available with a two channel switch. Problem was that there were more than two people in the office...
So all we would do if we wanted a laugh was flip the switch on our mice and start moving it in circles and randomly clicking until we heard someone else swearing, then we'd stop. Awfully childish, but very funny.
Why would they need a warrant?
Just ask Facebook for all the details, they've already got everything about you!
Re: Del *.* - yes of course I'm sure!
I once bought two hard drives of the same spec, same manufacturer etc, and it turned out that the serial numbers were 1 character different. I used one for my C: drive, and one for the D: with all my music etc stored on it.
I was reinstalling Windows (98 SE I believe), and was asked to choose which drive I wanted to format. Given the choice of two seemingly identical serial numbers, I (sleepily) assumed that it was showing me the same one twice, so clicked on the first one.
I bet you can all guess what happened...
What company administrator is going to let their users install anything from the store, rather than a carefully controlled and tested SCCM environment?
I've just finished deplying my Group Policy to disable the store and all the crappy "home" features that we don't want people using in our Windows 10 environment...
Does it mistranslate 1500 to 15000? Are numbers different or something?
Oh, the irony!
I clicked the link from the email, and Lo! was presented with this error:
Your connection is not secure
The owner of www.theregister.co.uk has configured their web site improperly. To protect your information from being stolen, Firefox has not connected to this web site.
Report errors like this to help Mozilla identify and block malicious sites
www.theregister.co.uk uses an invalid security certificate.
The certificate is not trusted because the issuer certificate is unknown.
The server might not be sending the appropriate intermediate certificates.
An additional root certificate may need to be imported.
Error code: SEC_ERROR_UNKNOWN_ISSUER
I initially thought it was deliberate, but alas, I can't open any El Reg pages in FF today...
Re: What is difficult about setting a registry key ?
"Chipzilla and Littlezilla will definitely be named"
Chipzilla and Chipzooky, shurely?
Re: Opposite effect
Yep, that's me. I can't wear anything metal - glasses frames, watch, any form of jewellery, or it begins to corrode both the object and my skin where it comes in contact with it.
I also suffer(?) from TALATOBIG to the extent that someone once referred to me as a "Computer Whisperer".
Re: Printer Power
That's the best thing to do to a printer. Can't imagine why so many people want the blasted things...
It's new worthy because in any other job, if caught with porn on his computer he'd have been fired. Or in any decent job, if he was caught sharing his credentials, he'd have been fired.
As it is, he only works for the public, so it's ok to be giving other people his login details and viewing porn at work, because all porn sites are clean and secure, and have no malware associated with them at all.
Oh, wait a minute...
Never mind that, where's the "Don't show me any advertising at all ever" function that's is sadly missing from every device I've ever owned?
"Yes Google is in it for money too."
Yes, that's how businesses work. If they weren't in it for the money, there wouldn't be any businesses, and no-one would have a job.
Re: Navy Lark Questions (@TRT -:you beat me to it again)
Perhaps it only turns to starboard to counteract Lt Philips' "left hand down a bit" commands...
Re: Everyone has their price
In the same way that the Cable TV model is broken - I pay for my TV and I STILL get ads thrown at me. Wtf? One or the other Murdoch... either I put up with ads and my channels are free, or I pay the sub, and you don't get advertising revenue.
Re: Unprofessional bollocks
Or that bloody Paperclip?
I see what you did there...
But there's no need to increase the tax on fuel, it's already expensive enough thanks
Re: Norton != Symantec
Be fair to Symantec; they were crap before that too.
Re: If you have issues with the Telly Tax...
"If only that were still true, DailyLlama. Unfortunately, all BBC programmes are seperated buy long avertising cycles, on both TV and radio. On radio, news programmes are also routinely interrupted, sometimes every 8 ot 10 minutes, for a short advertising slot. The ads themselves are usually for future BBC programs, or just promoting the BBC itsellf. Just adverts for themselves, no more."
That's fine, I have no issue with that, but I can't stand watching a program where the titles run, then there's an ad break. You get 10-15 minutes of action, then another ad break, then another 10-15 minutes of action, and another ad break, then a final ad break before the credits roll. What kind of way is that to watch anything?
If you have issues with the Telly Tax...
Just try watching the sh!te on the other channels, peppered by adverts, and you'll soon turn back to the Beeb.
Re: Security Researchers
"This is far into the theoretical, as it assumes an utter neglect for all warning - one is maybe acceptable, but ignoring all warnings ventures into the implausible"
You've never seen users just clicking boxes to make them disappear then? Most people don't even read them, just click OK to get it off the screen.
Re: We've contacted Microsoft for comment. ®
At least they weren't trying to touch base, the perverts...
The Scientology one was pretty good too... "R Kelly in the closet"
They may be imaginary
But they will all still beat us in the Eurovision Song Contest.
Re: Go Samsung!
Who wants to watch YouTube on a tv? The videos are usually such poor quality that they look sketchy on my 6" phone screen, let alone a 40" (or bigger) tv.
I have a Sony DVD/BluRay/Smart box that plugs into my Samsung tv, and that runs Netflix and Amazon Prime (although there's precious little on Amazon that's included in my subscription - whoever heard of paying £80 a year, and then being charged extra to watch films?)
Re: So much for digital
1024 if you undo your fly
We had a user who kept coiming back to us at least once a week saying ALL his emails had disappeared. We found them all in Deleted Items, and after a few weeks of this, we had a proper look at his laptop, and found that the keyboard hadn't been installed correctly, and the delete key was ever so slightly proud... so that when he closed the lid with Outlook open, the screen would press delete and remove everything for him.
Re: 250 sized racing quads
I used to bullseye Womp Rats in my T-16 back home...
Since I started using ad-blockers and blocking advertising domains via Open DNS, I haven't seen any malware or viruses on any of my computers (going on 3 years now).
Re: Colonization dilemma
Let's not get silly now!
For someone else, as long as it keeps to the left lane on motorways and not hog the middle lane, so I can overtake them.
You have to be 18 to get a credit card in the UK, you can get a debit card at 16.
"On equal footing is coding company WeKanCode, co-developer of such essential apps as Staller ("the Airbnb for horses"), whose inability to distinguish between the letters C and K really ought be a kause for koncern."
Reminds me of the Python sketch where Eric Idle couldn't say the letter C, so he substitued it with the letter B. When asked why he didn't change it to K instead, he replied "I didn't think of that... Silly bunt"
Re: Well, MAYBE this will get their attention
I'm sorry, there was noboy at home when we called, so I've left the virus with your neighbour
You could arguably say that he's not stupid at all. He's the only real winner of his "talent" shows (although that answer won't get you any points in a pub quiz).
Bad taste - guilty as hell though.
Re: Hit me baby one more time?
The fault is with whoever created the documentation, and then whoever failed to spot the problem whilst proofreading.
I would think that the new starter had plenty of legal recourse if said company's legal team did try to do anything, especially on their first day... where was the supervision? why were the documents so badly written?
Re: The Internet again!
"I seem to recall similar backlash against Gutenberg."
I didn't think Police Academy was THAT bad...
My mum can barely turn her computer on and do anything other than play solitaire, but she's repeatedly told phone scammers that "my son works for the National High Tech Crime Unit, so can you hold for a moment, while I turn the trace on please?"
Re: Fining the directors?
Politicians failing to deliver on a promise? Whatever next?!