124 posts • joined 11 May 2016
If your account is true then it puts quite a different perspective on the story.
I'd suggest you contact El Reg news desk directly rather than just posting on here (as they can presumably verify your identity and update the story accordingly).
"Switzerland doesn't have a population that contains complete idiots that will go round someones house for cutting them up on a roundabout"
Maybe that's because Switzerland requires all adult men to have a gun at home...
"Wait until Damian Green realises that he can just... ask an intern for Nadine's username and password"
I can probably tell you her password right now, it'll be 'N4d1n3'
Most people don't know how to check...
...if they've breached Regulation 22 of the Privacy and Electronic Communication Rules.
Click here NOW to find out how !
"focus on positives, confront stereotypes and prime people to make better security choices"
Sounds wonderful, but unfortunately without concrete examples of how to do this, it sounds just like every other buzzword-bingo management presentation I've ever attended, where they exhort us drones to "maximise this, synergise that, and leverage the other", then leave us to work out the actual mechanics of implementing their fluffy ideals.
(To be fair to Doctor B, I didn't attend the presentation at the IRISSCERT conference in Dublin, Ireland last week, so it may be the article that lacks the information, rather than her presentation. But lacking the information still is </yodamode> )
('Cycling UK' ... set themselves up as) the spokes-people of all cyclists.
Ha, ha ! Nice one, Centurion !
True confession time :
A few years ago I was issued with a works laptop, to be able to do on-call at home. After a while this became my primary home computer .
As time went on, I found that the volume on any videos or music was getting lower and lower, to the point of inaudibility. Checked the Windows control-panel: volume set to max. Checked the volume on Youtube, or the media-player (as appropriate) : also set to max. Searched online for other possibilities. No obvious other problem. Eventually concluded that the in-built speakers must be on their way out.
Mentioned the problem to one of my friends (occupation : phone monkey for a large bank). He took 10 seconds to locate and turn up the physical volume dial, on the right-hand side of the laptop, next to where my mouse hand normally did its mouse-wiggling-stuff.
I’d been gradually knocking the volume down over several months – but as I had always had a desktop til then, I never realised some laptops had an actual volume dial.
"What happened to Nationwide?"
I believe Frank Bough blew the budget on Colombian marching powder.
Oh that Nationwide...
Re: Dunce Cap tip
I recently applied for a credit card (obviously I don't need any loan, given the whopping pay packet my employers give me (Joke Alert), but how else do you build a good credit rating for a mortgage?) from Barclaycard, who have now sent me the 'credit agreement' doc (the legal bit you sign and post back to them by snail-mail).
Upon inspection I find this has, printed on the back, all my 'personal details' from the online aplication form : name, address, phone no (ok so far)... d.o.b. (er...), employer and gross salary (cough !), account number and sort code for my current account (choke !), and - I shit you not - the supposedly-only-known-to-me 'Security Word' that I specified.
What a bunch of retards.
A fairly high percentage of the UK is covered in leaf litter at the moment, so it's not really that surprising that the stick was found in a pile of them.
(Source : personal experience, from having spent much of yesterday tidying the garden.)
Paris, because she knows about having a tidy garden.
Man, it looks like the NSA trolls (or Apple fanbois) have been out in force on this comments section. Downvotes all round for anyone criticising our new electronic overlords !
@ Iain Thomson
Uranus is instantly recognizable thanks to its blue-green color, which is the result of the methane in Uranus tinting the atmosphere
Well played, sir !
Re: 960,000,000GB of data per day
"You're gonna need a bigger hard drive."
Re: high % women?
Loathe as I am to ever say anything in defence of Crapita, one can hardly use the statistic as evidence of sexist bias on their part.
The vast majority of people prosecuted for football hooliganism are men, does this indicate some anti-male bias on the part of the police ?
Re: Please someone tell me why I should pay the license fee?
Anyone with half a brain can work it out
Unfortunately, the Daily Heil types who think that the BBC is a hotbed of Marxism are lucky if they have 5% of a brain, never mind 50%.
Re: No hassle here.
No security issues, no app issues, no support issues... Users are happy, management are happy, IT are happy
...pigs are fuelled and ready for take-off.
Re: The Best Part?
Unless I'm very much mistaken : with Trump as POTUS, rednecks already rule the world.
Re: I'm going to use some of these:
I think they might be taking a lead from C. Montgomery Burns :
" 'Meltdown' ? That’s one of those annoying buzzwords. We prefer to call it an unrequested fission surplus."
If they do, they'll have to whittle it down from its original 28-hour running time.
Re: As any good medical professional will tell you
I have a steam hammer... for forging steel and iron implements. A friend has one that is used to crush gold bearing ore.
1849 called, they want you back !
My thoughts too - how *exactly* do you manage to do that ? I have a hard enough time sellotaping Christmas presents closed.
These guys must have done a lot of Blue Peter projects when they were young.
Re: Define "regularly"
Another trap for the stupid.
So now, if you lose your wallet, not only do you have no access to funds, you can't ring anyone to ask for help.
Even if you're on a night out with friends, you can't buy any more beers, and won't be able to borrow your taxi fare* home from them, because they won't have any way to access solid cash either.
(*You won't be able to catch the last bus because your bus ticket is now on your phone, too.)
Maybe soon they'll fit your front door with an electronic lock that you need to swipe with your phone, so you can be locked out all night to boot ?
Obviously most of the sheep enthusiastically embracing this Brave New World have never heard the phrase 'Single Point Of Failure'.
Personally I'll stick with the convenient payment system that is bits-of-paper-with-a-picture-of-the-Queen-on, thanks.
"I didn’t know it was going to go off"
Every woman's heard that excuse.
Re: That makes for dire reading...
"...raging wildfires aside, the food and weather and health service are generally much better"
I think you forgot the wine, public transport, education system, housing, and general quality of life.
The French cops are still a bunch of racist twunts who don't give a damn about liberte, egalite, or fraternite, though.
$4 BEEEELLION ?
For that much money, surely you can buy the whole of Greece, declare yourself president and grant yourself a pardon.
In Stalybridge (near Manchester) there's a pub which sports a sign by the door :
"NO UNDER 28's.
If you look under 35 you will be asked for ID."
My kinda place.
Re: Sounds similar to the way we work.
"Beelzebub has a devil for a sideboard..."
You can't seriously believe that *any* of the Honourable Members were users of the Ashley Madison website ?
Joke icon, for obvious reasons.
"Over 150 people are employed by the California giant to focus on countering terrorism"
Let's assume each dross-monkey is paid $30K/pa.
Farcebook is currently raking in ~$8 BEEEELLLION profit per year.
So they're spending just over 1/20th of 1% (0.0005625) of their profit to fight terror.
Wow, thanks guys, we knew we could rely on you
...to be a bunch of twunts.
Re: "goodbye windows"
So the future is not totally bleak, then ? - > - > - >
Re: Management speak ...
@ Commswonk : well spotted sir (or madam). Crapita saying "we take equal opportunities very seriously" is as valid as the KKK saying "we take mixed-race marriages VERY seriously".
'Spawn of Satan' icon, natch.
"we will wake up to this threat only when half a continent has been erased from existence"
As long as it's half the North American continent*, that's fine by me.
(We all know which half I'm talking about - and it's not the ice-hockey-playing half.)
A message from Skynet :
You, humans, are the weakest link.
"Stop relying on one datacenter to be up."
They would probably listen to your sound advice, if you put it on a sheet of 'Accenture' headed paper and charged them a 7-figure consultancy fee.
"US$883,000 – a relatively paltry amount"
Did you used to work for Accenture ?
Well played, sir/madman.
Presumably the downvote is from a Murine Semen Technician who's sick of people laughing at his job.
Re: Put them on hold
Me: "I've got a pan of food on the stove - can you just hang on ?"
Walk into kitchen, rattle a couple of pans, start doing washing up...
Re: "Sinister text messages reveal high-tech front in Ukraine war"
I suspect the downvotes are people who can't work out whether DAM is agreeing with the general or not, just because he doesn't describe the general as an "anti-semitic scumbag" or similar. So they assume that DAM must also be anti-semitic, because outrage is a commentard's default setting.
(Reminds me of when I saw the Bloodhound Gang in Leeds, shortly after two Leeds United players (Woodgate & Bowyer) were charged with beating the crap out of an Asian lad, & the singer's opening line was :
"Hello Leeds !
Good to see so many of you here - I thought you'd all be out beating up Asians !
I can see you're not sure whether to applaud that joke or not..." )
"The goal is to fool legitimate Facebook users..."
Fancy that, 'Facebook users' and 'fool' in the same sentence...
Re: Pick a name, any name
"why does a camera app need to access your identity?"
So the NSA* know who took the picture, obviously.
(*Or the Putinistas, depending on your paranoia-orientation.)
I am not a lawyer but...
...surely Pear's defence is that "only a moron in a hurry would be confused" [ see: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_moron_in_a_hurry ].
However Apple will probably win because all their customers are, in fact, morons in a hurry.
Amen. In 20 years of canal boat holidays I've been to an awful lot of English towns - and a lot of awful English towns - but never to any that were more awful than Trowbridge (not even Stoke).
If you ever get stuck there for an evening, just go straight to the Wetherspoons - it is the only vaguely-decent pub in town, so don't waste your time looking for any better ones.
Escape, if you can -> ->
Sound security advice
Be cautious of anyone who calls you and asks you to disclose any personal information regardless of where they say they are from. If this happens, we recommend that you hang up.
"Hi, it's Mum - are you still coming to ours for dinner on Sunday ?"
"Piss off !"
Nobody knows exactly who built Stonehenge, or why
... but seeing as it was built in Britain, it was almost certainly delivered 500 years late and a million sheep over budget
I note with some amusement, your distinction between "the likes of Yahoo!" and "more sensitive sites (...webmail etc)".
Re: It's a mimic!!!!
Surely that depends whether it's a cylindrical 'round' room, or a spherical one...
Obligatory 'hacker' stock-photo...
...hood up, typing whilst wearing gloves...
...actually makes sense for once. Those server rooms *can* get a tad nippy.
"maybe even IoT could be eventually useful?"
@ LDS : you're not wrong, I say I say you're not wrong.
1) I share an abode with 2 females
2) A single roll (~210 sheets) is frequently finished in 24 hours
3) I know that I normally use <20 sheets per day.
The average female (in my abode) uses ~90 sheets per day.
So if a bogroll version of HAL is available, I'll happily fork out for one, and set myself as the Administrator.
ROTM icon, naturally.
"The notice...will be mailed out to the affected citizens"
I hope they remember to use the 'BCC' field...