* Posts by Chemical Bob

613 publicly visible posts • joined 16 Mar 2016

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1 in 5 STEM bros whinge they can't catch a break in tech world they run

Chemical Bob

Re: And don't call me surly.

Ill-tempered, perhaps?

Apple, quit milking tech-addicted fruit of our loins – shareholders

Chemical Bob

Re: perhaps concerned parents could, oh, we dunno, try a little parenting?

Sorry, AC, gramps is right. Proper parenting does result in kids who have no interest in the latest shiny-shiny or facebook or whatever the latest nonsense may be. How do I know? My wife and I have done it.

If Australian animals don't poison you or eat you, they'll BURN DOWN YOUR HOUSE

Chemical Bob

Re: But how do they spread fires?

Very, very carefully so as not to get caught.

Least realistic New Year’s resolution ever: Fix Facebook in 365 days

Chemical Bob

Re: Facebook is a reflection of society...

"I'm now viewed by a lot of my friends/family as "the weird one" "

Well, you'll just have to make new friends.

And adopt. Adopt a new family. It's expensive but worth it.

Chemical Bob

Re: please punch him in his boneless face

That would be messy...

Brazil says it has bagged Royal Navy flagship HMS Ocean for £84m

Chemical Bob

Re: Shippy McShippyFace

'Swot happensh when you drink tooo mush - you get shipfaced!

ALPHABET TOTALLY LOSES ITS SCHMIDT: Exec chairman Eric quits

Chemical Bob

Re: "No Schmidt, Sherlock"

Schirley, you mean "No Schmidt Scherlock"...

Australia's future technology headlines … for 2019!

Chemical Bob
Joke

Re: 2019....

Any comment starting with the words "Brown outs" would be much more appropriately attached to one of the many articles about sex toys on this site.

Meet R2-DILDO: 'Star Wars' sex toys? This is where the fun begins

Chemical Bob

Re: This is not the clitoris you're looking for...

"These aren't the 'rhoids you're looking for"

PHWOAR, those noughty inks: '0.1%' named Stat of The Year

Chemical Bob

Re: 98.2 percent of all statistics

Actually it's just twelve percent...

Exploding alien bodies' space death-rays gave Earth its radiation cloak

Chemical Bob
Coat

Re: Where do these 'neutral' atoms come from?

Switzerland

Murdoch's Fox empire is set to become a literal Mickey Mouse outfit

Chemical Bob

Aliens and Predators vs Steamboat Willie

Please, please, c'mon, just... please, pretty please, just, like, please use our AI – Microsoft

Chemical Bob

Re: Learn Something

Then it wallows in Despair...

IBM reminds staff not to break customers in pre-Xmas fix-this-now rush

Chemical Bob

Re: IBM

"Impacted" By Management

I Bought Magicbeans

Irritable Bowel Movement

Auto auto fleets to dodge British potholes in future

Chemical Bob

Re: Call me anything

OK. you're anything...

Lights, camera, 802.11ax-ion!

Chemical Bob

"gets stopped by a couple of sheets of paper."

You're holding it wrong.

At Christmas, do you give peas a chance? Go cold turkey? What is the perfect festive feast?

Chemical Bob

Re: Sea Bass

Is it at least ill tempered?

Chemical Bob

Re: Carp recipe

INGREDIENTS:

1 pine board

fresh carp, 14 to 20 ",long

spices, of choice

DIRECTIONS:

Scale and rinse fish well.

Cut in 1/2 and place on pine board.

Add your favorite spices.

Bake at 340* for 90 minutes.

Remove from oven, throw carp away.

Serve board with or without tarter sauce.

Put down the eggnog, it's Patch Tuesday: Fix Windows boxes ASAP

Chemical Bob
Windows

Re: Top Xmas tip

"Never do percussive maintenance after boozing."

Better to perform it *while* boozing

Kentucky lawmaker pushes smut filter law (update: maybe not)

Chemical Bob

Not us, we spend more per capita on healthcare than any other country on the planet and consume 80% of the world's opiod painkillers. Face it, we're a nation of stoners.

Tech giants at war: Google pulls plug on YouTube in Amazon kit

Chemical Bob
Joke

Re: Unintended consequences?

Such a level-headed individual...

Chemical Bob

Re: Unintended consequences?

Once Google and Amazon realize their little pissy-fit is helping Roku they'll both ban access from Roku devices to their services. This is what is known as a level playing field.

New Jersey lawmakers propose ban on folks drunk droning

Chemical Bob

This is the USA, no legislation needed...

...just shoot the damn things out of the sky if the operator is too fucked up to fly. He/she/it probably wouldn't have a clue what happened.

Facebook Messenger ... for who now? Zuck points his digital crack at ever younger kids

Chemical Bob

"This is really a further expansion of Mark Zuckerberg's crack..."

If his crack expands too much, it'll get packed.

Chemical Bob
Joke

Re: OK...

>WTF is "shed man"?

Half a step above Neanderthal, methinks.

Did you unwittingly support the destruction of net neutrality rules?

Chemical Bob

Re: In my case, that reduced my results from 209 to 3.

Until I read your post I was impressed to find myself in there 6 times

Quentin Tarantino in talks to make Star Trek movie

Chemical Bob

Have Robert Rodriguez direct it. He usually manages to find a way to get Quentin Tarantino killed in his movies.

The way Q.T. died in Planet Terror would be a good starting point...

Voyager 1 fires thrusters last used in 1980 – and they worked!

Chemical Bob

Re: M and m

melt in your mouth, not in your hand...

User dialled his PC into a permanent state of 'Brown Alert'

Chemical Bob

Re: Acronym alert...

Poor Old Sod

Microsoft to rebuild Redmond campus, including cricket pitch

Chemical Bob

Re: A Cricket pitch?

"keeping his urine in jars"

Doesn't *everyone*?

Chemical Bob

Re: Hatesland?

Nah, that name is more appropriate for every Trump property.

What's that fresh, zesty fragrance? Oh, Linux Mint 18.3 has landed

Chemical Bob

Re: Year of the BSD desktop

1982 was the year of Xenix on the desktop...

Watch how Google's AI catches shoulder surfers spying on your phone

Chemical Bob
Trollface

Al Gore has no rhythm...

Chemical Bob

Re: Wonder how long your battery would last?

"so you'd quickly end up disabling this "feature" unless you were a spy or had no friends"

The people who developed this Modern Miracle of Our Time haven't figured that out because they have no friends and wish they were spies.

Forget Sesame Street, scientists pretty much watched Big Bird evolve on Galápagos island

Chemical Bob

Re: men are from Mars and women are from Venus

No, men are from Mars and women are from outer space...

Chemical Bob

Re: the theory of gravity

There is no gravity. The Earth sucks.

Chemical Bob

I'd rather have a Strawberrypie.

Magpies taste almost as fishy as Crappies...

Chemical Bob

"I'd hardly say that Tories and Labour are different species."

They're different from normal people.

Pokémon GO caused hundreds of deaths, increased crashes

Chemical Bob
Boffin

Re: seatbelts don't save lives, people save lives?

Yes, people who wear seatbelts save their own lives.

From Vega with love: Pegasus interstellar asteroid's next stop

Chemical Bob
Happy

Ooooh!

A giant Space Turd!

Level 5 driverless cars by 2021 can be done, say Brit industry folk

Chemical Bob

Re: Still waiting for the promised flying cars

Cars have been flyable for decades - all one needs is adequate velocity and any road imperfection that can function as a ramp. Having learned to drive in a rural area, I did a fair bit of this in my younger days. Landings were a bit harsh, though. Tended to ding up the undercarriage a bit.

The Independent 'live streamed' space vid recorded in 2015

Chemical Bob
Coat

Re: Two wrongs don't make a right

But two Wrights did make an airplane...

Chemical Bob

Re: So if this was fake then what about the moon landings?

As another poster pointed out, old does not equal fake. Therefore, the moon landings happened in 1933. All of them.

Chainmail tires re-invent the wheel to get future NASA rovers rolling

Chemical Bob

"But you can't make 'doughnuts' and stink up the mall parking lot doing it!"

If the tires are strong enough they could chew up the pavement, tho...

The Reg parts ways with imagineer and thought pathfinder Steve Bong

Chemical Bob

Re: Actually sorry to see Bong go

Perhaps he could be replaced by John McAfee...

Chemical Bob
Coat

Bong-Go. He was drummed out...

Pastry in a manger: We're soz, Greggs man said

Chemical Bob
Joke

Re: Spineless of them to give in

"here are a number of theories about Jack, one with some evidence to back it up has him as a Yank not a Brit"

Nah, if he was one of us he'd have used a gun.

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