* Posts by Chemical Bob

613 publicly visible posts • joined 16 Mar 2016

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Russia poised to unleash 'Son of Satan' ICBM

Chemical Bob

Re: Two steps forward...

"What has changed to make the outcome different?"

Perhaps Putin is compensating for something.

Microsoft bods tell El Reg: We've re-pivoted open-source .NET Core

Chemical Bob

Re: Re-pivoted

Oh, don't be silly, its just been spin-doctored again. Nothing to see here...

London NHS trust fined £180,000 after second bcc fail on HIV email list

Chemical Bob

Re: not some Outlook bodge

Outlook *is* a bodge.

Official: Microsoft's 'Get Windows 10' nagware to vanish from PCs in July

Chemical Bob
Trollface

The solution is simple

Just keep your Win7, 8, 8.1 computers turned off until after July 29. What's so hard about that?

'Bitcoin creator' Craig Yeah Wright in meltdown

Chemical Bob
Coat

Re: a dead cat, stapled to his chrome-dome

If it wasn't stapled it would be looser...

I am Craig Wright, inventor of Craig Wright

Chemical Bob

Re: Tiger Blood

Carlos Estevez, obviously.

Chemical Bob

Re: Meta the Author

or was it an Indian named Timmy......

Chemical Bob

Re: Maybe amanfrommars is Satoshi Nakamoto?

I don't know about that but I'm your uncle.

Must listen: We've found the real Bastard Operator From Hell

Chemical Bob

Once upon a time in a different life at a small company...

...I suggested making a fictional employee called Scrimshaw Cantilever to "take" all the stupid shit. Except that he couldn't 'cause he was always out doing something (hopefully) bizarre - "Oh, you'll need to talk to Scrimshaw Cantilever but he's out for two weeks skiing in the Hamptons" or "Sorry he's getting a bikini wax now" or "He's doing something that's illegal in Utah *in Utah*, won't be back if he gets caught" etc.

Nearly two billion in the bank and yet this VC is slowly losing his beach-blocking battle

Chemical Bob

Re: Personally...

The boundaries of his property were set when Mexico owned Upper California and he is relying on article X of the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo, which guaranteed the protection of Mexican land grants. Unfortunately for him, the US Senate deleted article X before ratifying the treaty. This along with later legislation guarantying right of way to public beaches means, yeah, he's being a dick.

http://www.archives.gov/education/lessons/guadalupe-hidalgo/

Another failed merger, Carly? Ted Cruz to bring in ex-HP boss Fiorina as running mate

Chemical Bob

Re: Trump and a clone of Trump

"I shall call him Mini-Me"

Nanoparticle boffinry could boost battery life

Chemical Bob

Re: What's life without a little bit of risk?

Life and Risk are both board games that really should be played separately.

Adware from French runs away and hides on 12M machines

Chemical Bob

Only if each bag is burning.

Samsung chuckles, swerves around Apple's Q1 phone sales crash

Chemical Bob

Proof...

...that Apple's sales decline *must* be Samsung's fault. Sue them! Sue them into OBLIVION!!!!

<adjusts tinfoil>

ok, i'm better now

Heathrow Airbus collision 'not a drone incident'

Chemical Bob
Devil

Re: Ban them all!

But birds are a greater risk, Shirley we should kill all birds!

E-cigarettes help save lives, says Royal College of Physicians

Chemical Bob

Re: A report based on evidence instead of prejudice ?

While propylene glycol is considerably less dangerous than ethylene glycol, the MSDS lists skin, liver and kidney damage as possible effects from exposure and it has been forbidden to use in cat food due to it causing Heinz Body Anemia. Some individuals are apparently bothered by propylene glycol vapors as well.

So is it safe? Who knows. Wouldn't surprise me if the FDA does an about-face on this stuff in a few years, they spent over 5 decades telling us that chicken eggs would kill us only to finally realize they were shitheads.

Colander-wearing Irishman denied driver's licence in Pastafarian slapdown

Chemical Bob
WTF?

Re: Clothing optional

"I thought it was the Mormons who had the magic underwear?"

Haven't you heard of Underoos?!

Chemical Bob

Re: Ex Pastafarian

"you are excommunicated to live a life of eating only insects...."

So no different than being a single guy.

Trouble at t'spinning rust mill: Disk drive production is about to head south

Chemical Bob

disk storage Game of Thrones

That last sentence of the article was more of a 'Game of Groans' than 'Game of Thrones' thing.

If you're appy and you know it, say five Hail Marys – cyber-Pope

Chemical Bob
Coat

Re: penne is the path to redemption

Be careful or a bad penne will turn up...

Mine's the one with Alfredo sauce stains.

Ad-blocker blocking websites face legal peril at hands of privacy bods

Chemical Bob

Re: @Manolo

"the US is simply in a different league from the rest of the world when it comes to treating their own citizens as a disposable resource."

We're not as bad as China.

Yet.

Secret UN report finds WIPO chief 'broke procurement rules'

Chemical Bob

Re: Irony++ ? Irony^2 ?

Irony mining

RIP Prince: You were the soundtrack of my youth

Chemical Bob

When he bought a farm in Chanhassen, first thing he did was put snow fence all around it and had a silver K-car with 'security' stenciled on the side blocking the driveway. Took something like a year to get a proper chain link fence and gate put in. You'd think with his money he could have got it done in a few months. Oh, well, gave us all something to shake our heads about.

For those of you unfamiliar with the sad product known as snow fence, look here:

https://www.hardwarestore.com/651840/mutual-industries-wood-snow-fence-4-x-50-14910-9-48

For those lucky enough to be unfamiliar with the K car, I won't ruin your day...

Irish researchers sweep smartphones clear of super bugs

Chemical Bob
Headmaster

Re: the B Arc

Don't go off on a tangent, now...

What the world needs now is... not disk drives

Chemical Bob

Re: Good riddance

"The sooner we're rid of what has become the least reliable component in computing, the better."

You mean the user?

How IT are you? Find out now in our HILARIOUS quiz!

Chemical Bob

Re: 'Ow Yorkshire?

Septic tanks, bah! Silly peasants. We used to live in an entire sewage treatment plant!

Logging on to United's frequent flyer site might take longer than a flight

Chemical Bob
Facepalm

"the underside of the keyboard"

THATS what I'm doing wrong!

Yahoo! shows! off! for! suitors! by! diving! into! red! ink!

Chemical Bob

That idea sucks....

Utah declares 'war on smut'

Chemical Bob

Re: "Public health emergency"???

Shirley more of a *pubic* health emergency.

For certain individuals.

And certain narrow values of "pubic".

Mitsubishi 'fesses up: We lied in fuel tests to make our cars look great

Chemical Bob

Re: President hangs head in shame

I thought he was trying to impale his head on the microphones

NZ Pastafarians joined in noodly wedlock

Chemical Bob

Re: Finally, a GOOD religion

"There is only one true "Bob"."

And it's Me, Me MEEEEE!

Chemical Bob
Coat

Re: Bunch of tosspots

"I bet we won't even burn anyone alive to create that society. Holy Meatballs, Batman!"

Depends on what kind of meatballs you like...

Chemical Bob

Re: @Allan George Dyer

While you are right, please do not let the sins of the past blind you to the delicious irony that in our modern world the places that have made the biggest gains in the rights of the traditionally disenfranchised (women, children, prisoners, gays, etc) all have a pronounced Christian heritage.

Many Christians seem to forget that Jesus partied with hookers.

Chemical Bob

Re: >something to tell the grandchildren

"The point of the gold rings and so on is permanence and untarnished endurance. Pasta is no viable substitute. It mocks, it tastes great, but it doesn't last."

And what percentage of Non-Pastafarianism marriages become mockerys of themselves and don't last?

Chemical Bob

Re: Bunch of tosspots

" It must start as a culture, and be sufficiently aged with time."

I think you mean aged with thyme.

and maybe some oregano...

Chemical Bob
Coat

Re: the Canonical text

That would be the Ubuntu user manual...

Mine's the one with garlic butter in the pockets.

Gridstore boss George Symons ejects, leaves hyper-upstart headless

Chemical Bob

Its a Vision thing - they can C things that we can't.

Chemical Bob
Devil

Perhaps they could outsource this apparently non-essential function...

Intel takes aim at Arduino with US$15 breadboard

Chemical Bob

Re: positively shocking in fact

OW!

OW OW OW!

Worst. pun. all. afternoon.

Flying Spaghetti Monster is not God, rules mortal judge

Chemical Bob

Re: HERESY!!!!

Tomato42,

No, being a parody is the disqualifying property. As a parody it is damn entertaining and useful, but it is still a parody and not meant for serious consumption*. The others you mention were created in good faith*.

*puns intended

Music's value gap? Follow the money trail back to Google

Chemical Bob
Alert

Re: @moiety

"We'd have to see your dancing before we could venture a definitive opinion."

Don't go there, could cause Blindness.

'Fart detector' wins Chinese Physics prize

Chemical Bob

Re: @Mark 85

"City folks have absolutely zero idea where chow comes from."

They have zero idea where porcupines come from too. A while back my wife worked at a resort just outside Yellowstone, there was a box on the counter with sandburrs in it, they told some city guy that they were porcupine eggs and he actually bought them.

Saturn spacecraft immune to mysterious Planet 9's charms

Chemical Bob

Re: Cassini is unaffected by Planet 9's gravitational charms

"Even an uncharted moon of Saturn..."

That's no moon...

Just how close are Obama and Google? You won’t believe the answer

Chemical Bob

Re: "We've been doing this since before the US was a country"

" especially where the US is concerned since they still routinely murder people in the name of law, religion, oil or trade."

Hate to burst your bubble but that is definitely *not* true. Our Glorious Leaders do not even pretend to need reasons anymore.

George Bush naked selfie hacker Guccifer gets his day in US court

Chemical Bob

Re: Unequality before justice

"A few years ago, an employee of the US embassy in Romania was drunk when driving and he killed a Romanian man."

While I agree with you, using an incident involving diplomatic immunity does not bolster your argument as the US is hardly alone in abusing this hackneyed concept.

Chemical Bob

Re: "George Bush naked selfie"

If it makes you recoil in horror, then it should be called ickbait...

Chemical Bob
Devil

"And what do they call someone who, you know, actually attacks and compromises systems using malware or vulnerabilities (or whatever)? Hyper-level cybercriminal?"

Super-Duper Doubleplus Ungood Nasty Person Meanie.

Space archeologist discovers new evidence of Vikings invading America

Chemical Bob

Re: Shirley

... don't call me, Shirley.

Flying Finns arm octocopter with chainsaw

Chemical Bob
Thumb Up

Now *this* would be...

...the drone to shoot down by that guy in Kentucky!

Let’s re-invent small phones! Small screens! And rubber buttons!

Chemical Bob

Re: Small != Small

" I'm just really bored with people saying "we want x" on the assumption that they are speaking for the entire human race. No. You want it, and quite probably some others do too, but you aren't speaking for everyone."

OK, how about speaking for the entire male race: It's *not* true that men want only one thing. We want dinner too.

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