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* Posts by Chemical Bob

504 posts • joined 16 Mar 2016

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Exploding alien bodies' space death-rays gave Earth its radiation cloak

Chemical Bob
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Coat

Re: Where do these 'neutral' atoms come from?

Switzerland

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Murdoch's Fox empire is set to become a literal Mickey Mouse outfit

Chemical Bob
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Aliens and Predators vs Steamboat Willie

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Please, please, c'mon, just... please, pretty please, just, like, please use our AI – Microsoft

Chemical Bob
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Re: Learn Something

Then it wallows in Despair...

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IBM reminds staff not to break customers in pre-Xmas fix-this-now rush

Chemical Bob
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Re: IBM

"Impacted" By Management

I Bought Magicbeans

Irritable Bowel Movement

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Auto auto fleets to dodge British potholes in future

Chemical Bob
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Re: Call me anything

OK. you're anything...

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Lights, camera, 802.11ax-ion!

Chemical Bob
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"gets stopped by a couple of sheets of paper."

You're holding it wrong.

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At Christmas, do you give peas a chance? Go cold turkey? What is the perfect festive feast?

Chemical Bob
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Re: Sea Bass

Is it at least ill tempered?

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Chemical Bob
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Re: Carp recipe

INGREDIENTS:

1 pine board

fresh carp, 14 to 20 ",long

spices, of choice

DIRECTIONS:

Scale and rinse fish well.

Cut in 1/2 and place on pine board.

Add your favorite spices.

Bake at 340* for 90 minutes.

Remove from oven, throw carp away.

Serve board with or without tarter sauce.

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Put down the eggnog, it's Patch Tuesday: Fix Windows boxes ASAP

Chemical Bob
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Windows

Re: Top Xmas tip

"Never do percussive maintenance after boozing."

Better to perform it *while* boozing

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Kentucky lawmaker pushes smut filter law (update: maybe not)

Chemical Bob
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Not us, we spend more per capita on healthcare than any other country on the planet and consume 80% of the world's opiod painkillers. Face it, we're a nation of stoners.

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Tech giants at war: Google pulls plug on YouTube in Amazon kit

Chemical Bob
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Joke

Re: Unintended consequences?

Such a level-headed individual...

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Chemical Bob
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Re: Unintended consequences?

Once Google and Amazon realize their little pissy-fit is helping Roku they'll both ban access from Roku devices to their services. This is what is known as a level playing field.

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New Jersey lawmakers propose ban on folks drunk droning

Chemical Bob
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This is the USA, no legislation needed...

...just shoot the damn things out of the sky if the operator is too fucked up to fly. He/she/it probably wouldn't have a clue what happened.

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Facebook Messenger ... for who now? Zuck points his digital crack at ever younger kids

Chemical Bob
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"This is really a further expansion of Mark Zuckerberg's crack..."

If his crack expands too much, it'll get packed.

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Chemical Bob
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Joke

Re: OK...

>WTF is "shed man"?

Half a step above Neanderthal, methinks.

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Did you unwittingly support the destruction of net neutrality rules?

Chemical Bob
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Re: In my case, that reduced my results from 209 to 3.

Until I read your post I was impressed to find myself in there 6 times

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Quentin Tarantino in talks to make Star Trek movie

Chemical Bob
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Have Robert Rodriguez direct it. He usually manages to find a way to get Quentin Tarantino killed in his movies.

The way Q.T. died in Planet Terror would be a good starting point...

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Voyager 1 fires thrusters last used in 1980 – and they worked!

Chemical Bob
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Re: M and m

melt in your mouth, not in your hand...

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User dialled his PC into a permanent state of 'Brown Alert'

Chemical Bob
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Re: Acronym alert...

Poor Old Sod

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Microsoft to rebuild Redmond campus, including cricket pitch

Chemical Bob
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Re: A Cricket pitch?

"keeping his urine in jars"

Doesn't *everyone*?

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Chemical Bob
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Re: Hatesland?

Nah, that name is more appropriate for every Trump property.

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What's that fresh, zesty fragrance? Oh, Linux Mint 18.3 has landed

Chemical Bob
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Re: Year of the BSD desktop

1982 was the year of Xenix on the desktop...

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Watch how Google's AI catches shoulder surfers spying on your phone

Chemical Bob
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Trollface

Al Gore has no rhythm...

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Chemical Bob
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Re: Wonder how long your battery would last?

"so you'd quickly end up disabling this "feature" unless you were a spy or had no friends"

The people who developed this Modern Miracle of Our Time haven't figured that out because they have no friends and wish they were spies.

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Forget Sesame Street, scientists pretty much watched Big Bird evolve on Galápagos island

Chemical Bob
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Re: men are from Mars and women are from Venus

No, men are from Mars and women are from outer space...

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Chemical Bob
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Re: the theory of gravity

There is no gravity. The Earth sucks.

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Chemical Bob
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I'd rather have a Strawberrypie.

Magpies taste almost as fishy as Crappies...

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Chemical Bob
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"I'd hardly say that Tories and Labour are different species."

They're different from normal people.

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Pokémon GO caused hundreds of deaths, increased crashes

Chemical Bob
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Boffin

Re: seatbelts don't save lives, people save lives?

Yes, people who wear seatbelts save their own lives.

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From Vega with love: Pegasus interstellar asteroid's next stop

Chemical Bob
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Happy

Ooooh!

A giant Space Turd!

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Level 5 driverless cars by 2021 can be done, say Brit industry folk

Chemical Bob
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Re: Still waiting for the promised flying cars

Cars have been flyable for decades - all one needs is adequate velocity and any road imperfection that can function as a ramp. Having learned to drive in a rural area, I did a fair bit of this in my younger days. Landings were a bit harsh, though. Tended to ding up the undercarriage a bit.

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The Independent 'live streamed' space vid recorded in 2015

Chemical Bob
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Coat

Re: Two wrongs don't make a right

But two Wrights did make an airplane...

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Chemical Bob
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Re: So if this was fake then what about the moon landings?

As another poster pointed out, old does not equal fake. Therefore, the moon landings happened in 1933. All of them.

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Chainmail tires re-invent the wheel to get future NASA rovers rolling

Chemical Bob
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"But you can't make 'doughnuts' and stink up the mall parking lot doing it!"

If the tires are strong enough they could chew up the pavement, tho...

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The Reg parts ways with imagineer and thought pathfinder Steve Bong

Chemical Bob
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Re: Actually sorry to see Bong go

Perhaps he could be replaced by John McAfee...

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Chemical Bob
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Coat

Bong-Go. He was drummed out...

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Pastry in a manger: We're soz, Greggs man said

Chemical Bob
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Joke

Re: Spineless of them to give in

"here are a number of theories about Jack, one with some evidence to back it up has him as a Yank not a Brit"

Nah, if he was one of us he'd have used a gun.

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Chemical Bob
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Devil

Re: Spineless of them to give in

Frankly, little baby Jesus was replaced by the sausage roll a long, long time ago (figuratively speaking).

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Yes, I took Putin's roubles to undermine Western democracy. This is my story

Chemical Bob
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Re: I don't get it?

Why would anyone Google the word "spoilsport"?

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Think the US is alone? 18 countries had their elections hacked last year

Chemical Bob
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Devil

Re: Who is Marc Rich?

" I thought we had other worries like jobs, health insurance, N. Korea, etc., etc."

It's simple, really. You aren't a Real American if you're concerned about those things.

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Red Hat opens its ARMs to Enterprise Linux... er, wait, perhaps it's the other way round

Chemical Bob
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Linux

Re: But will it play Crysis?

Who cares. I want to know if it will play SuperTuxKart!

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The NAKED truth: Why flashing us your nude pics is a good idea – by Facebook's safety boss

Chemical Bob
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Re: WTF???

"What's a wombat? Is it a thing you need to play wom?"

Well, you wouldn't want to use a cricket bat - they're used for whacking zombies' heads off.

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UK Home Sec thinks a Minority Report-style AI will prevent people posting bad things

Chemical Bob
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Boffin

Re: The only viable explanation for going off the straight and narrow and onto a bender.

"When amanfromMars calls you out for crazy, incoherent babble, you know you have a problem."

No, you don't know because you are too crazy and incoherent.

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Microsoft president says the world needs a digital Geneva Convention

Chemical Bob
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Re: Speaking of Microsoft

Ah, but those nodes are being set up by Paying Customers. If MS did something about that, they'd lose Paying Customers which leads to Not Making Money. And nobody has figured out how to monetize Not Making Money.

On second thought, Uwe Boll has figured out how to monetize that...

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Brace yourselves, fanboys. Winter is coming. And the iPhone X can't handle the cold

Chemical Bob
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Re: Apple looks pretty much the same: pasty, white and male...

I'm sure some of the interns are sober...

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Self-driving bus in crash just 2 hours after entering public service

Chemical Bob
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FAIL

Re: German Efficiency

"Vehicle to vehicle collisions would be almost non-existent if all vehicles were autonomous and were in communication with each other..."

Look, if we can't figure out how to drive, why does anybody think we can teach machines to drive better?

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Dumb autonomous cars can save more lives than brilliant ones

Chemical Bob
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Trollface

Re: automatic breaking

The auto industry has been trying to get this working for years as a way to boost sales.

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