* Posts by FuzzyWuzzys

702 publicly visible posts • joined 11 Feb 2016

NSA bloke used backdoored MS Office key-gen, exposed secret exploits – Kaspersky

FuzzyWuzzys
Thumb Up

Re: Tinfoil hat time?

"perhaps I'm just paranoid?"

Nope, just very, very realistic!

Knock, knock? Oh, no one there? No problem, Amazon will let itself in via your IoT smart lock

FuzzyWuzzys
Facepalm

Re: What could possibly go wrong?

Hmmm, I wonder I mean a guy in trackie bottoms and a t-shirt with a rented white van full of Amazon parcels. Somehow I think I might come home to find my latest Amazon parcel and bugger all else left in my house!!

Holy DUHK! Boffins name bug that could crack crypto wide open

FuzzyWuzzys
Happy

"..something like a random nonce...".

I'm sorry, I'm in a very puerile mindset today!

Your shoe, chewing gum, or ciggies are now your extra password

FuzzyWuzzys
Facepalm

"Oh dammit, I left my 'password shirt' at home now I can't get my shopping done!"

HMRC's switch to AWS killed a small UK cloud business

FuzzyWuzzys

Don't want to sound nasty but...

...if you're entire business is built on supplying just one customer then you're asking for trouble.

Sex harassment scandal scoops up Silicon Valley's Slimy Scoble

FuzzyWuzzys
FAIL

Re: Some advice from my mom...

Don't know about you but my mother never had to tell me to not harass women!

It never occurred to my mum, rest her soul, that I would touch anyone inappropriately, she knew all the hard work she'd put in to bring me up properly meant that it would most likely never occur to me to behave such a way. Out of respect to everyone, I adhere without thinking to the required norms of respect for society and try to go beyond that by showing respect to all people irrespective of race, creed, gender and sexual orientation.

Please activate the anti-ransomware protection in your Windows 10 Fall Creators Update PC. Ta

FuzzyWuzzys
Facepalm

Re: Cat and Mouse

So your defeatist apathy is a better option? You'd better read "Maus" if you think a world is better with all Cat.

( Yes Godwin invoked by way of a literary reference! )

What the fdisk? Storage Spaces Direct just vanished from Windows Server in version 1709

FuzzyWuzzys
Facepalm

Re: You're expecting sense?

"I advise against using any new features or products, for example SQL server, all features available in all versions, but never know those feature could be moved back to the enterprise edition at any time."

Good job you don't work with Oracle products! It's worse, they simply enable components, bury the "requires license to use" in the docs and wait for you to have used it by accident, then suddenly come in, audit you and dump a £50k bill on the CFO's desk!

I love disruptive computer jargon. It's so very William Burroughs

FuzzyWuzzys
Headmaster

Re: British revenge

"But all I can say in us Yanks' defense is that you Brits"

No, no, no!

Don't start a sentence with "But".

Don't use "us" when you should have used "we".

Oh, an please spell "defence" correctly.

"All I can say in defence of we Yanks is that the Brits must have created ITIL..."

FuzzyWuzzys
Facepalm

Re: Hmm.

"Ah, I see you're trying to start a war. ;-)"

Anyone else read this and suddenly remember that annoying "Clippy" bastard?!

Dear America, best not share that password with your pals. Lots of love, the US Supremes

FuzzyWuzzys
Facepalm

Re: What happens if...

"If you have kids you will realize that kids don't plan. So you have your credit card couriered to them and tell them the PIN so they can withdraw cash to pay the bill. By your reckoning this is obvious breach of rules is punishable."

Jesus, you're a fecking eejit! So you want a new car, you see it on eBay, you make contact and agree to buy it from the seller. You then post the seller your card telling them to take the money off the card and post the card back when they're done?!

Only one person can use your CC, that's you. Don't like it? Tough! The CC company owns the card, the account, it's a private company and you made an agreement with them, their rules.

'There has never been a right to absolute privacy' – US Deputy AG slams 'warrant-proof' crypto

FuzzyWuzzys
Mushroom

Simple, let the US do it and then when they world and their dog get access to everything the US publishes in digital format, then perhaps we'll finally start to get some sense from the fecking idiot politicians. The second their entire lives are splashed all over the media because it was a piece of cake to open up their private online datastores, then I'm sure things will change double quick!

Star Wars: Big Euro cinema group can't handle demand for tickets to new flick

FuzzyWuzzys
Unhappy

Re: spoilerific

Funny you say that, I was doing some work over lunchtime, looked over and a colleague had the preview full screen with headphones and that's exactly what I thought. "Oh, another light sabre fight! Oh another view of an open battlefield with x-wings and tie fighters. Oh another battle in space. Oh another dramatic close up on faces in dark spaces while they talk about the various aspects of the Jedi religion.".

This from someone who saw the original back in the '70s and the 2 sequels in the '80s. When #7 came out on DVD my wife and daughter bought me the DVD and I've never seen it! It's not that I don't want to, I just can't be bothered to make the time these days. I'll make time for the original trilogy and have done just 2 months ago but I just can't be arsed to make time for 1,2,3,7,8,9 they do nothing for me. 4,5,6 sum up my childhood I suppose. The films for 1,2,3,7,8,9 are for a different generation, they're not for me or mine, they mean very little to me and I cannot make the connection in the same way as I can for 4,5,6.

Even my wife and daughter whom have no interest in the franchise, have never played with the toys, have no SW collectables, have seen 1,2,3 and 7 at the cinema and I haven't!

Oracle promises ‘highly automated’ security in self-driving database

FuzzyWuzzys
Facepalm

"It will then automatically patch itself, rather than waiting for a human to schedule downtime."

I know Larry hates Bill Gates with a passion but he should pay attention to what happens when Windows happily installs patches automatically. When the apps crash or simply won't start we'll all start switching off the autonomous crud and performing the updates manually as we can't trust it to behave itself!

Internet-wide security update put on hold over fears 60 million people would be kicked offline

FuzzyWuzzys

Re: "60 million people could be forced offline"

Hey, all the time they're sharing pictures of cats on Zuck's cash-cow, they're not there getting in everyone else's way. Count your blessings!

IKEA flat-packs TaskRabbit to crack assembly code

FuzzyWuzzys
Facepalm

Can't wait for the first call...

"Hello? Yeah is that John Davis, yeah bought this Swedish thing and I can't get it up! It's tall and stiff and won't stay up long enough for me to screw hard. Can you help me? Hello?"

An hour later, open the door...

"Hello there, I'm PC Smith. We've had a report that disturbing and obscene calls can been made from this address to a local old-job worker."

'Dear diversity hire...' Amazon's weapons-grade fail in recruitment email to woman techie

FuzzyWuzzys
Facepalm

Re: We lost, get over it

No, people ( irrespective of gender, race, culture or creed ) enjoy different things.

I, like 90% of the IT people I've met, couldn't give a flying monkey's toss what gender you are, what god you pray to, if you like making models of the Cutty Sark out of lolly sticks, going to S&M clubs on a Tuesday night, whatever, so long as you muck in when there's a problem, help get it sorted before we all get our arse chewed by upper management for being useless and ultimately outsourced to cloud management services!

Out, damned Spot! Amazon emits Echo ball with screen, inevitable ever-listening mic

FuzzyWuzzys
Facepalm

"Captain Cyborg"

Anyone remember 10 years ago how we all laughed at poor old Dr Kev, "Captain Cyborg" himself and his obsession with having tech around him, his house, work and about his person constantly?

Hmmm, maybe he wasn't so funny after all judging by the number of people on this thread handing over their lives to Bezos in return for....erm, wel I'm sure there's some positives to all this on-demand tech!

FuzzyWuzzys
Facepalm

I bet a quick scan of YouTube will show that someone has....

FuzzyWuzzys
Facepalm

Re: nightstand or desk

"I’ve a very good friend since childhood who habitually goes into serious arguments while soundly asleep."

My wife informs me that I talk continuously at what she reckons is about 3-4 times my normal speaking rate and apparently I can rabbit for about 2-3 hours at time! I also have a habit of laughing in my sleep, some nights I have to be woken up to stop me with the longest she was able to tolerate me being around 45 mins of continuous non-stop laughing and giggling. No wonder I wake up with a sore throat and aching face!

Mac High Sierra hijinks continue: Nasty apps can pull your passwords

FuzzyWuzzys

Re: Plaintext passwords??

That's the whole idea of a locked keychain, sensitive information that has to remain "as-is" but still has to be made available on request, however not to any app willy-nilly as is happening now.

Oracle promises SLAs that halve Amazon's cloud costs

FuzzyWuzzys
Facepalm

Larry isn't stupid, this is his usual hype and BS!

Larry has a well earned reputation for spouting utter bollocks that his sales droids have to repeat and the dev techies have to deliver, it's no great surprise Larry was best mates with Steve Jobs, another seriously psychotic bullshitter.

Oracle cloud will be cheaper, hmm, sure Larry! The second you realise that guy down the road ( Azure, Goolge, CouchDB, MongoDB, Hadoop, etc ) is making more money, you'll put the prices up faster than a whippet with a bum full of dynamite. You're the same as Virgin and Sky, get through the door on a short-term, cut-price contract, and just like the classic drug-dealer once they're hooked, jack up the prices 'cos you know you're the only game in town for them.

We weren't born yesterday Larry mate!

FuzzyWuzzys

We're not all like that!

"...they love it because it keeps them on the gravy train."

Nice. I personally love being a DBA because there's never dull moment, there's always something being demanded of the system that wasn't anticipated. Sure I get paid good money but I only get paid what the market will stand. You could say the same for Javascript, it's probably got less keywords than ZX Spectrum BASIC or even bog standard C but make it "sing and dance" is still a skill that people learn how to do and the better they do it the more they should be paid. There will always be cowboys in any line of work, those who simply coast along and apply no real thought to what they do, they have no passion and they take the money and damage the reputation of others but not everyone is like that, some of us still believe passionately about IT and enjoy the daily challenge of problem solving.

Sure Oracle software CAN be complicated but it's not really any more complicated than SQL Server or MySQL. I would say, through bitter experience, that install Sharepoint and Exchange are far more hideous than anything Oracle sells, SP and EX are a minefield of patch requirements, anyone who looks after those deserves damn good pay! With Oracle tou run an install script like any other software and out of the box it works, just like any other software. Like Windows, like SQL Server, like OSX, like iOS, like MySQL...note I said works, I never said works well. At that point you pay someone who knows how to make it work properly. Every product works out of the box, very few don't these days and if you weren't that demanding about it you could just leave it as is and just use it. The issue comes when people demand a huge bang for their buck, that's when you need someone to tune it and tweak it.

EasyJet: We'll have electric airliners within the next decade

FuzzyWuzzys
Joke

Well....

Look at this way, if you're up at 20,000 feet and the batteries go flat then the passengers could start peddling to recharge them!

SQL Server 2017: What's new, what's missing on Linux, and what's next?

FuzzyWuzzys

Price point with Oracle? Think lower...a lot lower!

"We are going to go aggressively, with the value of SQL Server and the price point compared to, for example, Oracle.”

Yeah, I think SQL Server on Linux is great, it works OK and the base product is as usable as it's Windows cousin, minus the features already mentioned in the article. However when it comes to Linux you're going to have to compete at the price point of PostresSQL, MySQL and obviously with the big data NoSQL boys like Hive, Mongo and CouchDB!

Deloitte is a sitting duck: Key systems with RDP open, VPN and proxy 'login details leaked'

FuzzyWuzzys
Facepalm

GitHub is great...

It's a like a hackers wet dream, the right searches will yield lots of useful system passwords, even more so as we all move to cloud services. It's great fun seeing how many developers out there have a total lack of common sense when it comes to security, not all them just the really stupid ones!

Why Uber isn't the poster child for capitalism you wanted

FuzzyWuzzys
Happy

Re: Uber and London

You missed a line at the end...

Millennial whingers: <silence>

Web devs griping about iPhone X notch: You're rendering it wrong

FuzzyWuzzys
Thumb Up

Damn, you beat me to it! Exactly what I was thinking, imagine all the fun you could have putting in a fake set of icons and faking subsequent system config screen.

The award for worst ISP goes to... it starts with Talk and ends with Talk

FuzzyWuzzys
Thumb Up

Re: Sky

"The process of leaving was painful, with quite probably the rudest call centre handler in history, who was shouting and refusing to listen, intent on going through her script of bribes to keep us with them."

Yep, I remember leaving Sky about 3 years and the call centre person said ( this no lie ) , "So you're going to Virgin? You do know all their kit is second hand and fails after 3 months? Virgin are not very good at support either, I would strongly advise you to avoid them and stay with Sky."

"Virgin are offering me 30mb/s for the same price I'm paying Sky. Can you get my ADSL above the rubbish 2mb/s I've been complaining about for the last 12 months?"

"Sorry, that's not our problem, that's BTs problem."

"Thank you very much for summing up in one short sentence, exactly why I'm leaving Sky, You don't care about a service and your diabolical attitude to customers just reeks."

FuzzyWuzzys

"Users said slow speeds, frequent connection drop-outs and poor customer service as their biggest bugbears with the provider."

Sadly as Virgin pushes their monster speeds up and up, they're going the same way. My service used to be brilliant but lately it's just falling apart, drop outs at least 3-4 times a day for 2-3 mins.

How Apple is taming the ad biz. Just don't expect Google or Zuck to follow

FuzzyWuzzys

The ad men abused the privilege of having a captive audience, we moaned and complained, blocked them. Now a huge company, whether you like Apple or not they have a knack of parting the public from their spondoolics, has decided it has nothing to lose by kicking the admen too in order to make it look like some sort of "freedom fighter". I'm happy with anything anyone does that puts the tracking and admen under control.

Microsoft reveals details of flagship London store within spitting distance from Apple's

FuzzyWuzzys
Facepalm

You need to factor in age of the test subject, "plumbing pressure" reduces with age!

You forgot that you hired me and now you're saying it's my fault?

FuzzyWuzzys

If you can graph it, then you can get fund it!

That's my experience of 35 years of IT, if you can sling enough bullshit figures together to make enough confusing graphs ( it seems to be pie mostly as pie seems to hide all details! ) then you can almost without fail, convince enough management above your current level to fund your latest jolly to software developer HQ 300 miles away and subsequent software toy purchase request. Once you're bored with it, pass it to some minion, who in turn will use it 5 times and then leave to slowly drain support contract money from said company for 3 years until the bean-counters start whinging about belt tightening!

Google Cloud's API knows the sort of thing you like to look at

FuzzyWuzzys
Boffin

"If I know the tweets and news and other texts you consume, and I cluster them, then I can very quickly determine your set of interests / sentiments / whatever clustering regime is applied,"

Yes, and that's the point. They're not allowed to gather info directly from you unless you grant them the privilege. However they no longer need to get direct access to you, they can work out who you are and what you like simply by piecing your life back together from the trail you leave behind. Why do think big corps like Google and Facebook aren't fussed about your granting them access to directly collect info about you? They simply have so much reach and so much data about you they know all about you already!

A todger, a 2.5kg dumbbell, the fire brigade... and the inevitable angle grinder

FuzzyWuzzys
WTF?

Call me naive about such matters, I tend to stick to putting my member in the holes God made available in our beloved human counterparts but couldn't they show him a picture of his gran naked or just jack him off, surely either of these would make said member flaccid?

FuzzyWuzzys
Facepalm

Re: You missed the back story...

"I genuinely thought that this might have been a tragic accident, where the gentlemans gentleman had somehow become trapped between the flats of two weights, perhaps while stacking them with sweaty, post-workout hands."

I've actually done that but with my index finger, it was the most intense pain I've ever felt. 2 x 25Kg weights slamming together and my finger tip in between. I've never seen so much blood come of me from small place! It cost me finger nail too which to this day, 25 years later, still never grew back properly.

DRM now a formal Web recommendation after protest vote fails

FuzzyWuzzys
Facepalm

Re: FFS

"Don't fret. The corporations will be happy."

That's it precisely, it's just for them and their bottom line. This will be of no use for part time artists and musicians like me, we'll not be allowed to use this sort of protection for our works, we'll still have our work ripped off 'cos we don't have the clout of the big corps, to be able to protect our works.

While I like the idea of DRM, it's only in the interest of big corps who don't give a monkey's about the little guys, so it'll be a waste of time and it'll be bypassed quicker than you can download a movie off a torrent site on a Virgin 300MB home connection!

Stack Overflow + Salary Calculator = your worth

FuzzyWuzzys
Facepalm

DBA

Oh bloody hell, the DBAs are now less valuable than the sysadmins?! Not so long ago we were the golden boys and girls of IT, everybody wanted to be a DBA...oh wait hang on!

Ofcom to crack down on telcos' handling of nuisance callers

FuzzyWuzzys
Happy

Get a call blocker unit, best £40 I've ever spent and the quietest my phone has ever been!

Jon Hamm of Mad Men to lend his lungs to bounty hunter Boba Fett

FuzzyWuzzys
Happy

Fett is king!

My favourite character from SW universe and has been since I was kiddie when I first saw Empire in the cinema. Being a bit dopey, when I was 7 I wanted to be a bounty hunter just like Fett, until I realised later on what they actually do for a living! Ha ha!

Equifax's IT leaders 'retire' as company says it knew about the bug that brought it down

FuzzyWuzzys
Flame

Re: There's something missing

Personally I hope it all goes a bit "Ratners" for Equifax!

Cops' use of biometric images 'gone far beyond custody purposes'

FuzzyWuzzys
Unhappy

Re: Napolionic

"To be surveyed and tracked on the off-chance that you might do something wrong in the future, is to not be free.

And that's where we're heading."

Too late, we're there already. ANPR, the highest number of CCTV cameras per capita anywhere in the world, we've a lot of to be proud of in the UK, NOT!

FuzzyWuzzys
Facepalm

“Why are the government desperate to have a database of millions of people’s images?”

Yeah, why not just trawl Faceslap and Twatter, you'll get all the gurning mugshots of you need of most of the UK population and for free too!

Facebook posts put Pharma Bro Martin Shkreli in prison as a danger to society

FuzzyWuzzys
Facepalm

He's a gone "a bit McAfee"!

x

Kaspersky shrugs off US government sales ban proposal

FuzzyWuzzys

While I'm sure it's annoying for Kaspersky to be branded like this, I'm sure they're not that worried. The longer the US Gov makes a fuss the more big K is in the media and as we all know, no such thing as bad publicity.

Apple: Our stores are your 'town square' and a $1,000 iPhone is your 'future'

FuzzyWuzzys

Re: Am I the only one who ...

"...the 'spaceship' will soon take off for Mars..."

I think you mean Xenu, don't you?!

FuzzyWuzzys
Happy

Re: Funny stuff this facial recognition

I think most Apply fanboi cultists are already pulling that face every time they pull out their phone anyways!

FuzzyWuzzys
Facepalm

Re: Can't wait

Assuming that's not sarcasm...everyone has to have a hobby I suppose, and spending money on products for which there are identically functional equivalents for half the price is one then you have it mate with my very best wishes!

FuzzyWuzzys
Facepalm

Bought £150 Android thing from TESCO, it makes calls, takes messages, gets weather via an app and plays music ( and no doubt will run Twatter and Facepalm apps too ) , which covers 90% of what most people want from a modern phone! Cheers TESCO you saved me 850 Sovs else I might have bought this Apple thing instead, doh!

FuzzyWuzzys
Facepalm

' "Animoji" icons that match the emoji's expression to your own face. '

Hmmm, sounds lot like an idea they had on the comedy show The Big Bang Theory to give a character the ability to understand other's emotions....Apple are just amazing, where do they get their ideas from!