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* Posts by Blipvert

46 publicly visible posts • joined 15 Nov 2015

She cannae take it, Captain Kirk! USS Zumwalt breaks down

Blipvert
Alert

Does it have a 'PooP' deck?

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Elon Musk says SpaceX Falcon 9 fireball investigation is 'biggest challenge yet'

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Re: Midnight

Brilliant :)

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West country cops ponder appearance of 40 dead pigeons on A35

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Re: In the world of printing...

DAMN!

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Blipvert
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Re: In the world of printing...

Do you see why you've got no 'upvotes'?.....you used logic and maths on The Register!

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Star Trek Beyond: An unwatchable steaming pile of tribble dung

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Re: Star Trek Beyond

Y'should've taken a bow for that one and not gone AC:)

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McCain: Come to my encryption hearing. Tim Cook: No, I'm good. McCain: I hate you, I hate you, I hate you

Blipvert

Coronary Heart Disease...

meet John McCain, hope you two will get along.

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The Reg Coding competition – 10 times as hard as the last one!

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Go on....

With all the other commentards complaining that its too easy why don't you 'diss' them all, El Reg, and give the Alienware rig to me?

Have i mentioned that The Register is brilliant? Well you are, aren't you.

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Lauri Love at risk of suicide if extradited to US, Brit court hears

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Mushroom

After Gary McKinnon...

You would've thought that these fucks would have got the message by now?

"IF YOU CAN'T DO THE TIME, DON'T DO THE CRIME!"

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Watch as SpaceX's latest Falcon rocket burns then crashes

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Trollface

Does Elon read The Register?

I hope SpaceX appreciates the Commentards helpful suggestions as to where they're going wrong?

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Blipvert
Trollface

EURO 2016

Instead of a barge couldn't they just stretch a large net out and catch the rocket instead?...obviously the net needs to be made out of some kind of futuristic stuff.

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Major Tim Peake comes home to a gastronaut's Sunday roast

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Trollface

Food Glorious Food!

Nice to see the artist included some veg, should keep the linux users appy.

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Wayne Rooney razzles in X-Men: Apocalypse plug

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Re: now that might have been brilliant IF

Patrick Stewart had turned up and acted them all off the fuckin screen!!!!!

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Huge embarrassment over fisting site data breach

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Fist of Fun

DVD, when BBC, when?

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Brit polar vessel christened RRS Sir David Attenborough

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Unhappy

It just goes to show

Voting changes nothing

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Woman charged with blowing AU$4.6m overdraft on 'a lot of handbags'

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I believe her!

Have you seen the price of those Gucci efforts?

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Oz uni in right royal 'indigenous' lingo rumpus

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Thumb Up

Finally, well done!

so will the white infestation kindly leave now?

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Oculus Rift review-gasm round-up: The QT on VR

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Technical Point!

Do the lenses 'fog up' like safety and swimming goggles or do you have to do a 'Big GOZ' in them, before you put them on, just like Richard Dreyfus did in JAWS, to stop them from steaming up?

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Subjects! Speek your branes to Parliament on the Snoopers' Charter

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GO! Teresa, GO!!...

...no, seriously just fucking GO! Clear out your desk and pick up your P45 on the way out of the fucking door.

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David Cameron hints at Budget law change to end mobile not-spots

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terrorist bovines

Apparently there's a dozen Friesians in a field in Sommerset that GCHQ can't surveil yet!

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Spanish cops discover illegally parked flying car

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WHAM!!!

George Michael on oliday again?

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Investigatory Powers Bill lands in Parliament amid howls over breadth of spying powers

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Big Brother

RIGHT THAT DOES IT!!!

I'm so angry i'm gonna pop round tonight to where she lives and jam a ZX81 up her box!!!

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Five Eyes nations must purge terrorists from the web, says Theresa May

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JUST FUCK OFF BITCH!!!

This is why i shouldn't be a politician....too onest & too sweary.

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'Hobbit' heads aren't human says bone boffin

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Alien

When the scientists have finished with the remains...

...perhaps they'd like to study some live test subjects that are sat on the front bench of Her Majesty's Government?

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Why a detachable cabin probably won’t save your life in a plane crash

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"I never joke about my work 007!"

After watching Spectre, what about a personalized ejector seat system?

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Israeli drones and jet signals slurped by UK and US SIGINT teams

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So is Israel a friend?

We spy on them and then build a monument for them!

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Brit censors endure 10-hour Paint Drying movie epic

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'The Wall'....oh wait, the Floyd have already got that one!

Charlie's wall is one of only a handful left in the world that haven't been shat on by Banksy.....better board it up Mr Lyne!

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Universal Credit: The IT project that will outlive us all

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Bless The Lord For UV Rays

Can only hope all those brown spots on his face are aggressive Melanomas

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The next Cuban gristle crisis: US Navy warship powered by beef fat

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Bita Something Extra

I assume for safety reasons they will only be using 'Beef Fat' from cows that are under 3 yrs old?

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Re: The vessel needs a people friendly nickname

The USS GINSTERS (yum)

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Coat

Re: The vessel needs a people friendly nickname

D' ya want fries with that nickname?

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Blighty's Parliament prescribed tablets to cope with future votes

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Won't this impact on the health of our dear MP's?

I mean for most of them, walking to and from the lobbies is the only exercise they actually get.

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Farewell to The Division Scumm!

That's what i thought it said when i first glanced it...for a moment i thought that all the politicians were leaving.

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Curiosity Rover eyes Mars' creeping dunes

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Alien

Coach & Horses

Has this been filmed in LAGER-O-VISION?

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Library web filtering removes info access for vulnerable, says shushing collective

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Facepalm

For The Record

I tried getting onto The Register using Manchester Central Libraries computers. Before the botched refit of the library this wasn't a problem. After the refit your site was blocked! The message said something about the site being unsuitable as it had links to copyright infringing material!

Haven't used their computers since.

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Periodic table enjoys elemental engorgement

Blipvert

If they happen to be Dr Who fans...

TARDISSIUM.

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Sponsorship Deal?

I wonder if they could be tempted by a big corporation?

FACEBOOKONIUM?

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Aroused Lycra-clad cyclist prompts Manchester cop dragnet

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He was almost' Grabbed by the Rozzers'...

If so, that would've been very painful!

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UK ISP Sky to make smut an opt-in service from 2016

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HARSH!!

I knew Murdoch was pissed off, when he lost the Star Wars franchise, but i didn't think he'd kick down this badly;)

( can we have a 'middle finger' icon please?)

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Steve Jobs mural highlights plight of Syrian refugees

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Trollface

Just As A Counterpoint...

...I'm popping over to Calais to do a Watercolor of a Chinese worker, at Foxxcon, throwing themselves off a balcony!

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An Opportunity Presents Itself...

..I wonder which enterprising Syrian is at this moment chiseling the mural off the wall to sell to some US buyer?

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Rupert Murdoch wants Google and chums to be g-men's backdoor men

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Big Brother

Still not dead yet!!

Rup, you're giving Coffin-Dodgers a bad name.

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Enraged Brits demand Donald Trump UK ban

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Trollface

Re: Don't ban 'The Donald'

Haven't seen this many commentards posting since El Reg flogged off some Hard drives a few weeks ago!

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Trollface

Don't ban 'The Donald'

Just ban his barber.

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GCHQ Christmas Card asks YOU the questions

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FAIL

Is the answer: C-H-E-R-Y-L C-O-L-E?

Well?

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JD Wetherspoon: A 'hacker' nicks 650,000 pub-goers' data

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Pint

Beer Goggles..

I like a pint and a Ginsters.....how can this knowledge be used against me?

(tasty icon)

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Doctor Who: Nigel Farage-alike bogey beast terrorises in darkly comic Sleep No More

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Re: 'Morpheus wide-awake pods'

Didn't the 'Judges' in Judge Dredd (2000 AD) have a similar technology which allowed them to compress a nights sleep into a few minutes? That was the seventies!

(Not a Mark Gatiss fan)

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