* Posts by allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

6157 publicly visible posts • joined 20 Oct 2015

Apple grounds AirPods launch with shipping delay

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: Apple's planned "spaceship" campus

1. Negligible, because

2. Yes

3. Yes (but probably won't)

4. No, so, yes

EDIT - I almost forgot: after completion of 'spaceship' campus, Apple will sue GCHQ over design of Cheltenham 'doughnut'.

Self-driving cars doomed to be bullied by pedestrians

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: Wait a minute...

No, we all have the ability.

Most of us have ethical and moral standards*/beliefs that prevent us from using the ability.

* Might be as low as "isn't worth the paperwork that goes with it", though.

New MacBook Pro beckons fanbois to become strip pokers

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: A certain Comic Strip Did this

Q

CIA will put records online

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

"... the agency said it will make its CREST (CIA Records Search Tool) database available online, through the CIA website."

Hope it'll be better than iTunes.

What am I saying. Of course it will be better than iTunes. Everything is.

Rise of the photon clones: New method could lead to 'impenetrable' comms

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Hmm. Is "near perfect" actually = "good enough" for "impenetrable" encryption/communication?

I'm also a bit wary of this "probabilistic method" - can you really be sure about the size of the error margin you'll be working with?

Vatican and musicians at odds over appropriate use of crematorium leftovers

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: ashes and where to put them

This reminds me of a dinner conversation with friends a couple of years ago.

While we had arrived at the cheese stage, the topic of our conversation had somehow meandered towards death, funerals, cremation, what to do with the ashes... suddenly there was a pause and as if on cue everybodies eyes turned to look at the Morbier on the cheese platter...

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: Wait three dead members in the last few years...

Always check the fine print in the contract before you sign.

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: Who the hell...

"Er, it's common knowledge and cited everywhere."

[citation needed]

'Non-state actors*' likely to blame for Dyn mega-attack – US intel chief

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: I don't understand why they always blame the actors...

What about actors who are into 'method acting' and are preparing to play the roles of cybercriminals?

Password1? You're so random. By which we mean not random at all - UK.gov

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

It's not exactly an algorithm, but I find that random drunken ramblings sampled at 3 AM in a bar is a good starting point for creating strong passwords.

Data ethics in IoT? Pff, you and your silly notions of privacy

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: tyrants

Problem is, a lot of people actually like having their minds made up for them. It's like they fear that thinking for themselves will hurt or something, it's been puzzling me for decades. Of course, this sort of behaviour fits perfectly into a everything-is-a-service scenario.

Squeaky bum time for Apple: It hasn’t made enough iPhone 7 Pluses

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

“Can’t meet demand” is an ambiguous term. It may mean that demand is genuinely greater than expected. Or it may indicate supply issues, such as the shortage of a particular component.

A particular component... like, maybe, a battery that is well behaved?

Exit through the Gift Shop? US copyright chief was assigned to shop till, tweeting

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: Doubtful statement

You've missed Mycrotech's Sarcasm Early Warning Device Recall Notice, haven't you?

First World Problems: John Lewis clients forced to re-register after website 'upgrade'

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

"John Lewis Finance tried to migrate its online platform a fortnight ago, but is still experiencing "teething issues" leaving customers fearing they had been scammed."

Migrate to where exactly? Something cloudy, perhaps?

UK minister promises science budget won't be messed with after Brexit

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Microsoft goes back to the drawing board – literally, with 28" tablet and hockey puck knob

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Still too small... I've been dreaming of a DIN A0-sized electronic drawing board since I've started using CAD some 30 years ago.

I've arrived on Mars. Argggh, my back!

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
Coat

Can't they just breed astronauts that don't need so much gravity?

(Mine's the one with the current edition of The Farmer's Almanac in the pocket.)

ARM: Hold my beer, we'll install patches for your crappy IoT gear for you

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

On the day IoT thingies are "safe" I'll be riding to my paperless office in a fusion-powered self-driving car.

And for our next trick, says Google while literally wheeling out a humongous tablet ...

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

"Why would anyone want an expensive VC-type device?"

I love techno toys.

Aussie trams equivalent to 30 skateboarding rhinos

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Melbourne trams

Film tip: Malcolm.

Trailer

Will AI spell the end of humanity? The tech industry wants you to think so

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

"I'm really worried about what will happen to those of us who are not EXTREMELY smart or REALLY rich."

"We'll make great pets!"

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: Seriously

"The current civilisation does very little to encourage creativity in the general population, preferring the masses to be consumers foremost to keep the system of profit ticking over."

Seriously - was there ever any other kind of civilisation?

Go back, say, 2000 years, replace "consumer" with "peasant" or "soldier" ... no fundamental changes whatsoever.

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

"The AI was simply following its programming ..."

If you still have to program "it", it's not "AI".

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: Nuclear war and climate change wont finish the human race

The virus that will wipe us all out won't emerge from some sort of secret germ warfare lab.

It will breed itself in one of our kindergardens.

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: Baldrick's poem

There is no boom boon spoon.

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: simply refinements of technologies developed in the 1980s

Quite. What we have right now is very impressive, but it isn't AI yet.

At best, spoon-fed idiots savants.

Possible reprieve for the venerable A-10 Warthog

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: Good on them, I say...

"The article says the wings will be replaced, which implies they're not fixed."

Fixed wing aircraft: Look, it's a plane!

Rotary wing aircraft: Look, it's a helicopter!

Folding wing aircraft: Look, it's a plane from an aircraft carrier!

LASER RAT FENCE wins €1.7m European Commission funds

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: Species Stanglers

Hmm... laser fence around Glastonbury Festival site...

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

"Or they will go and eat some other food that is not protected by lasers."

Oh yes, they will.

Spoiler alert: We'll bet boffins still haven't spotted aliens

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

You're all wrong... these are just the remains of the fireworks display to celebrate the 10,000th anniversary of some galactic empire, long ago, far away ...

On a less jokey note: how egocentric (humanocentric?) to think that some sort of message from the stars should be sent specifically to us, given the odds.

For all we know, it might just be a software glitch - or, as we are swapping authors, something like in "Exponentialdrift" by Andreas Eschbach.

Anyway, the real news is the Chinchilla News' report on the upcoming 2018 Holden Commodore!

What has 500,000 thumbs and is no longer being sued by HP? Panasonic

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

As my great-grandmother used to say, "Pack schlägt sich, Pack verträgt sich."

IBM Australia didn't stress-test #censusfail router and blocked password resets

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: Axiom vs Meme

Looking at IBM's general performance, I think it is "Nobody got fired for replacing IBM with something cheaper" these days.

'Outpaced' ASIO was infiltrated by Soviets

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

You'd think FLAs were better than TLAs, or is it the other way round?

But seriously, the question is, was ASIO aware of being outclassed and outmatched at the time ?

MedSec's St Jude pacemaker hacks confirmed by pen-tester

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

The PDF makes for a very interesting read; some useful links in the references too.

Verizon boss: Yahoo! email hack 'is a big deal to us', we'll decide new price next month

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: Why?

Because Yahoo! owns 15% of Alibaba, which is

1) "worth" round about 30 billion USD

2) more than just a foot into the door of the Chinese market

'Every step your anti-theft tracker takes – I'll be watching you'

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

I'm still holding auditions to fill the position of 'official stalker' - no luck so far, just a couple of plane spotters in their midlife-crisis "looking for something different", but none of them seemed to be up to the task.

As to my wallet: I use a chain. You will have to pry it out of my cold, dead hands.

A bigger splash: The mathematics of spilling beer

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

"So choose a thin, circular glass to pour your beer into next time."

Kölsch should be relatively safe then; the glasses traditionally used are basically slightly oversized test tubes.

Thanks, IoT vendors: your slack attitude will get regulators moving

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: National regulation won't do a damned thing.

"Today, in one of the main Italian newspapers ("Corriere della Sera"), their "tech journalist" naively wrote "it's impossible to secure the universe of Internet of Things" - and this is what most people probably believe."

Of course, securing the 'Universe of IoT'* would be technically possible - if [insert long, long list of conditions - technical, regulatory, legal, economical; a lot of them of the 'ain't gonna happen' variety] would actually come to pass.

On the day all IoT devices are reasonable "safe" my self-driving, fusion-powered car will take me to my paperless office.

* Catchy term, BTW.

Paid Wikipedia-fiddling on wheels

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: Wrong dialling code / confused

I always thought STD stood for something else... or does that mean I can get the clap when I misdial?

AI lawyer: I know how you ruled next summer

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

AI?

Spoon-fed idiot savant at best.

Parliamentarians ask Obama to withdraw Lauri Love extradition request

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: why?

"Special relationship" ?

Is Google using YouTube to put one over on Samsung?

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: You're missing the real conspiracy!

Technically, is it still a proper conspiracy if it's smeggin' obvious?

Anyway, here's a Dr. Fun cartoon from 2006.

AWS budget tool update gives suits the control they crave

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

"VP-level DevOps folks”

The horror... the horror...

DARPA hands space junk spotting scope to US Air Force

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
Headmaster

"GEODSS can track objects roughly the size of a basketball; the SST takes that down to objects the size of a softball."

Well, that's cleared up then...

Standard size of a NBA basketball is 9.5 to 9.85 inches (24.1 to 25.0 cm) in diameter.

In softball the size of the ball varies according to the classification of play, 3.8 inches is probably the most common in fastpitch, 3.5 inches in slowpitch, 4.5 inches in recreational leagues, but 5.1 inches in Chicago because tradition, so all in all somewhere between 8.9 and 12.95 cm. (Diameters, rounded.)

TL;DR: either SI or proper El Reg units, please!

Judge nailed for trying to bribe Fed with fizzy water (aka Bud Light)

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: Not Really

According to the linked article, Judge Jones is a registered Democrat, so wrong tree there.

AT&T wants Time Warner

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Oh god, it's the late 1990ies all over again... a new generation of PHB MBAs must have risen to the top.

Smoking hole found on Mars where Schiaparelli lander, er, 'landed'

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
Pint

How about I buy you a couple of pints which should be ample compensation for your share of 'taxpayer's money' that went into this mission, and you just shut up?

Boffins twist beams of neutrons into pasta to cook up holograms

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

What's the resolution?

Sky’s CEO drops MVNO bombshell at results conference

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

PCMCIA

People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms.

Hardware ain't hard, money is: Crowdfunding, bootstraps and startups

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

"Time to discover how cheap my soul is."

Actual sunday-best immortal soul or just everyday work soul?