* Posts by allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

6157 publicly visible posts • joined 20 Oct 2015

Internet Archive preps Canadian safe haven to swerve Donald Trump

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: Over reaction?

Only time will tell. However, it can't hurt to play it safe, so moving the archives is a good idea. It will remain to be seen whether Canada is far enough.

Meanwhile, here are some pointers on how to survive an autocracy. You never know.

ExoMars probe snaps photos of your next dystopian home world when Earth goes to crap

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
Coat

Re: Beers all round

You say failed landing of Schiaparelli, I say successful demonstration of lithobraking!

Give BAE a kicking and flog off new UK warships, says review

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

"... use of modular construction, where yards build discrete chunks of ships rather than the entire hull. This method was used [...] on helicopter carrier HMS Ocean, which has some very noticeable ramps in the middle of her decks where the different sections meet."

Cruise ships are being built like that since quite a while, but they design the sections to actually fit neatly together.

Investigatory Powers Act signed into UK law by Queen

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Just lie back bend over, think of England and open wide.

FTFY

UK Parliament waves through 'porn-blocking' Digital Economy Bill

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: Why are we becoming a Police state?

Guess it's your turn now.

"Don't it always seem to go - That you don't know ahat you've got - Till it's gone"

Joni Mitchell - Big Yellow Taxi

Confirmation of who constitutes average whisky consumer helps resolve dispute

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: Blended

Well there are blends and there are blends...

Not long ago I attended a whisky tasting. The host told us about one of his hobbies. He lives about half of the year on Islay. When he's there, he meets with a couple of friends, usually 4 to 6 people. Everyone brings a bottle of single malt. Everyone concocts a blend using the bottles they brought. The blends are extensively tasted until the best blend is determined. The guy who made the best blend on that evening gets all the bottles.

A Rowhammer ban-hammer for all, and it's all in software

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: Solution

What? No blinkenlights? That's heresy, that is!

New Euro-net will let you stream Snakes on a Plane on a *!#@ plane

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: Better idea

Precisely.

Malaysia Ailines Flight 370 anyone?

50 years on, the Soviet-era Soyuz rocket is still our favorite space truck

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
Pint

Re: Korolev Cross

The soviet moon program (or rather any chance of it being a successful) pretty much died with Sergei Pavlovich in 1966. As there is no водка icon, I'll rise a pint to his memory.

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Never underestimate machines that go 'ping' ...

Super Cali goes ballistic, considers taxing Netflix

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

I propose a Facebook tax. With the revenues going exclusively into education.

ESA: Sorry about Schiaparelli, can we have another €400 mill?

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: syntactical question

Depends. Over here, we always say "ESA" (as if it was just one short word), never "E S A".

Reg man 0: Japanese electronic toilet 1

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: avoiding spray microdrops

Exactly. Urine is highly corrosive and will sooner or later ruin everything in the splash zone. Radiators, fittings, tiles, joint sealer... even stainless steel and concrete.

Sources:

1. Cleaning toilets in an army barracks for 3 months.

2. 30+ years in civil engineering, including redevelopment, FM, management of tenements, office blocks, schools, etc.

Seriously guys - sit down. (I assume today smartphones and tablets have more of an impact towards this than anything else that's been tried before.) Oh, and while we're at it: wash your fucking hands when you're done, okay? If I feel like touching your junk, by proxy or otherwise, I'll just ask.

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: Lower Tech alternative

Sibirian toilet.

One short stick and one long stick.

The short stick is used for support.

The long stick is used to fend off the wolves.

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Some things shouldn't require a manual, but there you are.

You want SaaS? Don't bother, darling, your kind can't afford it

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: 'No, never 'tech' anything

Old Nokia Asha, looks like a poor man's blackberry. Whenever someone says I should use WhattsApp or Facebook etc I just hold it up and say "sorry, my phone can't do this".

(That there's a tablet in the backpack is nobody's business.)

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

I thought it was Aleister Dabbs?

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

"Inexplicably, everyone at the gym knows me as "the computer expert" even though I took great pains when I first joined to describe myself as a "tech journalist"."

Never, ever in a context like this use a term like "tech" or "engineer" or something like that. You'll be the guy that can fix everything, from cars to laptops.

I'm too old to get away with "art student" anymore; these days I tell people I'm a civil servant*, which is not that far from the truth.

* Pro tip: choose or make up an obscure department that no-one ever has any business with. Statistics or internal auditing is good.

Uncanny hacks-men to attend special school in grand country home

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: mum at the War Office

@AC: please tell your mum "thank you" from me. Whatever she did, it was part of what made it possible for my generation to grow up in peace and comfort.

BOFH: The Hypochondriac Boss and the non-random sample

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
Pint

If I had kids I'd make Simon's BOFH stories compulsory reading for them.

Space crap: Flap, zap or strap? $30k from NASA for your pooper scooper

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Come to think about it, with some modifications this could double as an emergency propulsion system.

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

"Your solution will also need to be quick to integrate with the space suit [...] in incidents of sudden "cabin depressurization" though we don't imagine convenience would be much barrier to evacuation in such circumstances."

I disagree. In a really grave incident you'll need the automatic pooper scooper more than ever.

Make Christmas Great Again: $149 24-karat gold* Trump tree ornament

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

"Ordinary Americans can't afford it... "

What do you mean? It only takes half a week* of work for ordinary Americans to earn the money.

* Unless Google lied to me: current minimum wage 7.25 USD per hour. 149/7.25=20.55 hours. From a rightpondian perspective, that's half a week of work. YMMV.

Scotland's Skyscanner sold to Chinese rival Ctrip in £1.4bn deal

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: Politicians, eh? / Britain's open for business

Who do I talk to if I'm interested in one of the Royals?

Anyway, I suppose this is another good deal for Britain.

No super-kinky web smut please, we're British

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: Excellent News!

Nope. If an administration focuses on side issues it's usually a clear indication that they have absolutely no smeggin' clue what they should do about the big stuff. Speaking of which, how's that Post-Brexit-Strategy comjng along?

Missile tech helps boffins land drone on car moving at 50 km/h

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: Wasn't there

So? Dudu had gadgets like that, and then some!

Ah, sunday movie matinees in the early 1970ies as a kid... that was the life...

NASA sets fire to stuff in SPAAACE. On purpose. Because science

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: "If you're going to have crime, it might as well be organized crime"

"If you're going to sin, you might as well be original." --- Mike, the cool person

USS Zumwalt gets Panama tug job after yet another breakdown

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

"The schedule for the ship will remain flexible to enable testing and evaluation in order to ensure the ship's safe transit to her new homeport in San Diego."

Translation: right now we have no idea what's causing the problems or how long it will take to fix them. So we"ll just try a couple of things until we find something that works at least well enough to limp home.

.

.

.

"Do you have a backup?" means "I can't fix this."

Obama awards honours to Grace Hopper, Margaret Hamilton for computing contributions

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Saw one of her talks ages ago in a television programme. Brilliant! Also made me finally understand why some operating systems won't work properly on some motherboards despite being "compatible".

Stay out of my server room!

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Electrified basilisks? You'll get shamed by the RSPCA and raided by PETA.

Gov's industrial strategy: 'Look, we've changed the words above our door'

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

That photo

Is Dr Who working for the government now?

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: Energy "Strategy"

No worries - the invisible hand will keep you warm.

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

I think they were at school together.

2016. AI boffins picked a hell of a year to train a neural net by making it watch the news

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

And as soon as the system can actually understand and comprehend what is being said, the machines will rise and kill us all.

LAKE OF frozen WATER THE SIZE OF NEW MEXICO FOUND ON MARS – NASA

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: Mud Then

Martian Mud PiesTM - this could mean trouble for the Elbonian mud industry.

Twitter bans own CEO Jack Dorsey from Twitter

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

One down.

316,999,999 to go...

Samsung fires $70m at quantum televisions

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Can anybody shed some light on the "behaviours managed at the quantum level" bit? Kinda sounds like a contradiction in terms. Or paraphrasing a very optimistic press release. Interesting, though.

PSA: Do not expect better television programmes just because the television sets get better technology.

NASA trying to rein in next-generation super-heavy lifter costs

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: Haven't we been here before?

As I have said in another thread, NASA's pitch must be that Trump will need the SLS to build hotels in LEO when he's back in the hotel business after his second term*.

Putting members of the house or the senate on flights is a good idea - you should combine that with electing astronauts. Didn't work too bad the last time.

“I guess the question I'm asked the most often is: "When you were sitting in that capsule listening to the count-down, how did you feel?" Well, the answer to that one is easy. I felt exactly how you would feel if you were getting ready to launch and knew you were sitting on top of two million parts -- all built by the lowest bidder on a government contract.” ― John Glenn

* It's a sales pitch. This would work way better than "Quick, do it before your impeachment".

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

You know, it's all about keeping your options open, really:

Trump called climate change a Chinese hoax but he wants a massive seawall around his resort (in Ireland)

Hackers electrocute selves in quest to turn secure doors inside out

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
Coat

Re: They're still alive after electrocution?

OMG - Zombie hackers!!!

(My coat, please - I'm off to re-review the security concept for [redacted].)

LinkedIn competitor offers to drop Russians into same legal trap that caught LinkedIn

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

"And the rest of us have a brilliant case study on how not to do ambush marketing."

Hmm... I tend to agree. However, given that I never knew Opportunity (the social network for businesses; not the mars rover) even existed until today and now I do - part one of their idea obviously works.

Why I just bought a MacBook Air instead of the new Pro

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: "Apple Past, when all the hype around product launches was real"

It looks like they are running out of ideas and are starting to make up shit to compensate.

See also: Far-Speaking.

AI can now tell if you're a criminal or not

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: Hope Homeland Security aren't reading this.

"Passport pictures are what people really look like." --- Talking Heads, "Stop Making Sense" liner notes

Hyperloop One settles hangman lawsuit

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Yes, totally sensible.

Pet Peeve Alert: Bambi is a male.

In the 1923 book he is a Capreolus capreolus or roe deer, which the 1942 film changed into an Odocoileus virginianus or white-tailed deer. Which is fully covered by artistic license.

There is also the other Bambi in that one episide of The Young Ones who is played by Griff Rhys Jones.

So in my opinion it reflects rather unbecoming on anyone naming their daughter Bambi.

Helping autonomous vehicles and humans share the road

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

On the other hand, things might play out just like this.

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: Autonomous vehicles would be incapable of making many of the moral decisions discussed

Precisely.

Which is why decisions like this will eventually be based on whether the persons involved have basic, premium or, god help them, freemium accounts with the manufacturers / operators involved.

I'm not trying to put the 'troll' in 'trolley problem' here. If you think things through, considering the socio-economical environment autonomous vehicles will be operated in, this is merely the logical conclusion.

Customer data security is our highest priori- ha ha ha whatever, suckers

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: Inflation

Propaganda in the late GDR was like that, too. Basically countless variations on "We are the best and greatest GDR in the whole world!" Which technically wasn't even a lie.

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
Angel

Re: UFO

I wouldn't know about flying cars, but it seems you're attending the wrong parties...

FYI Apple fans – iCloud slurps your call histories

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see...

TfL to track Tube users in stations by their MAC addresses

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Hmm... Shadwell?