* Posts by allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

6157 publicly visible posts • joined 20 Oct 2015

No, Kim Kardashian's plump posterior's pixels did not break the App Store – just this El Reg man's mind

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

"Breaking" the internet

Even though the Germans have the wonderful word Arschbombe I seriously doubt one lady's bottom can destroy something that is based on a communications system designed to survive a nuclear attack.

On a related note, I think it would be nice to live in a world where people who actually contribute to society are famous.

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: >You will soon have your God, and you will make it with your own hands.

Upvoted for the "fun bypass" bit, brilliant! Have some egg nog...

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: >You will soon have your God, and you will make it with your own hands.

They never listen... oh well, merry x-mas to erveryone!

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: FF22 People...

"If only everyone was as smart as you are."

While I get the point you are making I can't help thinking that yes, this would improve things overall.

'Showbiz hacker touted stolen celebs' X-rated vids, scripts, songs'

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: DHS

Yes and no. While I'm all for the 'one justice for all' approach I do think it's a good idea to keep DHS and similar agencies occupied with loads ot trivial celebrity related stuff, because - well, you know...

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: finding stolen celebs

It's usually a disused sound stage in Burbank, or so I'm told.

Software bug sets free thousands of US prisoners too early

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: Fix it right

"How is it possible to fix it wrong?"

Um, you do know this is an IT-related site, right?

Feds widen probe into lottery IT boss who rooted game for profit

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

If it comes out of a machine, it ain't random.

Robotic exoskeleton market to grow 40 per cent a year until 2025

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Japan has had machines for plantig rice for decades now.

http://www.akafuji.co.jp/andjapanrice/english/tradition/01.html

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

What happens next?

After becoming self-aware, it becomes self-conscious and starts sulking in a corner of it's own mind.

Microsoft halts downloads of new PowerShell power-up

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: windows as a service

It only has to make sense to MS, not their customers.

Death Stars are a waste of time – here's the best way to take over the galaxy

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
Pint

Re: Art Imitating Parody

Upvoted for "handwaviumed". Freakin' brilliant! No egg-nog icon, hope you can make do with a pint.

Oh, and merry x-mas, everyone.

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: All that...

...or E.E. "Doc" Smith's Lensmen using planets to smash other planets. Or the Red Dwarf episode where Lister does that, with erasing a timeline in the process as well.

Windows 10: What's coming in 2016?

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: "Windows 7 diehards"

@Quortney Fortensplibe: upvote 'coz I see what you did there..., but apparently 2016 will be the year of BaaS - Bullshit as a Service (TM pending).

Australian government urges holidaymakers to kill two-factor auth

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
Pint

Re: Bean Counting?

Upvote for the "Attack of the Bean Counters" and the mental (yes, that's a perfectly cromulent word) images it triggered.

Kiwi judge rules Kim Dotcom can be extradited to USA

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: Hmmm

The real question here is - will he get a guest spot on The Simpsons?

(I can see him in the next halloween special.)

IT bloke: Crooks stole my bikes after cycling app blabbed my address

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

I wonder

how the insurance companies will react to this sort of thing, it is bound to happen more frequently.

(Yey, yes, I know - by not paying out...) But seriously, anyone here with a background in insurance math? (PONS just told me that would be actuarial math, somehow that doesn't sound right, but then again I'm not a native speaker...)

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: Peak Social

It's a sign all right - but I severely doubt it's a sign that we are nearing peak 'social networking', whatever the definition of that may be. Why? Too many people acting stupid. Some of them actually are stupid, most of them just act stupid, usually because it's more convenient. ("Give Me Convenience Or Give Me Death") Safety belts in cars are a good example.

Also, some people seem to assume that thinking hurts, or something like that. Homo sapiens, my ass...

No, this sort of thing - can we call it Computer Aided Burglary? - is going to increase dramatically with the IoT. All your(*) shiny things will broadcast both the fact that you have them and their exact location. Including your CCTV/alarm system that you've left on default settings - enabling anyone to check when it's convenient for him to nick all your stuff.

(*) "You" used as a figure of speech here, of course. I trust my fellow commentards actually know what their brains are for.

Facepalm time: MS Office update wipes custom Word autotext

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Every time I read something like this on El Reg I feell a little less bad about the fact that my employer makes me use Office 2003 on a XP box.

Hello Kitty hack exposes 3.3 million users' details, says infosec bod

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: Is my Fisher-Price phone tapped by default?

Assume it is.

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

First they tell us 'Hello Kitty' is NOT a cat, and now this?

Microsoft grabs ex-Google and Facebook brains for unstructured SQL engine

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Amen, brother!

Apple on the attack against British snooping bill. Silicon Valley expected to follow

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Not a radical idea at all, but remember: the guy who's birthday this season is (allegedly) all about was nailed to a tree for suggesting exactly the same.

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: Confused...and Google were probably hoping to be awarded the contract

I disagree. Every swipe at G00gle is entirely necessary.

Iranian hackers targeted New York dam, had a quick nosy around

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: New York dame

"OH YES THEY HAVE!"

Apple swallows 7 year mobile patent payments deal from Ericsson

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

These are not the rounded corners you are looking for.

Chicago cops under fire for astonishingly high dashcam, mic failures

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: Al Cophone

"This is car- what number are we?"

"Five-five."

"This is car fifty-five- we're, uh, we're in a truck!"

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: Technology New And Old.

You're probably right, given the inch sizes claimed for, uh, quite personal parts...

'Dear Daddy...' Max Zuckerberg’s Letter back to her Father

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: My headstone shall say

My favourite is still "Here lies Edmund Blackadder, and he's bloody annoyed!"

Talko the devil and he shall appear: Microsoft buys Ray Ozzie's startup

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: Who is

He was Hellboy's cousin in an early draft of the first screenplay, but got written out.

25 years ago: Sir Tim Berners-Lee builds world's first website

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: Straight glass or handle?

And Star Trek pics. Hard to say which was uploaded first, but in the early 90ies at least 90% of the pics on 'the net' were porn or Star Trek (and a few that were both, IIRC). The cat pictures are so 'Web 2.0'...

UK ISP Sky to make smut an opt-in service from 2016

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: Whats the problem

And if you've got nothing to hide there's no real need for privacy, right?

The ball's in your court, Bezos: Falcon 9 lands after launching satellites

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Good show

but I am a bit disappointed that it didn't land in a vulcano crater (conceiled by a fake lake, of course). Musk really should add Sir Ken to his team.

There's an epidemic of idiots who can't find power switches

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: On the plus side...

Also, your dad. If you're his 'tech support'.

(To be fair, they plonked his first PC on his desk in 1985 when he was 50 and got the hang of it quite fast, mostly self-taught trial-and-error style. He had to use some software developed in-house by the firm he was with, both for internal use and marketed comercially. Pretty soon he was inofficially part of the development team - he actually knew what the software was supposed to do and was able to give the coders error reports they could actually use when it didn't. Every now and then he manageged to make the software do things it wasn't supposed to, which also helped with the coding. And he had a knack of triggering bugs like no other, so after a while he was a combination of beta tester and quality control. Well, he's been in retirement for 15 years now and still uses a PC on a daily basis. Usually he does just fine, but every now and then he screws up, like we all do. And when he does, it's mostly in a very creative and totally unsuspected way that is a challenge. Talk about a learning curve...)

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

"Would they be the same if it were something like a desk light or radio? is it "dummy mode" kicking in simply because it's a computer?"

I really think you're on to something here... now that I think about it, it's now some 35 years I keep seeing intelligent, educated professionals being totally confused by a box of, well wires and stuff, acting like they have been zapped by a 1950ies B-movie MoronRay or something. Even so-called 'digital natives' (buzzword alert! buzzword alert!). It's just a bloody machine, not some kind of voodoo thingy from dimension Z. That needs electricity to run.

CIOs, what does your nightmare before Christmas look like?

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

So, time to polish up your english, then...

New HTTP error code 451 to signal censorship

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

The broser could redirect to a site that plays the internet censorship theme song.

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2015/02/12/china_internet_censorship_theme_song/

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Star Wars Special Editions

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: George's Vision

If you've got visions, go see a doctor.

- Helmut Schmidt

Assembly of tech giants convene to define future of computing

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: +6

Welcome to The Village!

Electrician cuts wrong wire and downs 25,000 square foot data centre

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

So that's what it's called..., ta!

(And now back to working on my PHB-shield...)

Enraged Brits demand Donald Trump UK ban

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Wouldn't he be obliged to spend some time in quarantine when he enters Britain, on account of the thing on his head?

US Navy's newest ship sets sail with Captain James Kirk at the bridge

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

If by 'article' you mean 're-worded press release' and/or 'bits cut and pasted from news agency item', then yes.

If you want Lewis back, start giving the editor(s) feedback and gentle persuasion to that effect.

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: What do it do?

Oh. I saw that on G00gle Earth too, but I thought it was going to be Larry's new yacht, what with the funny bow and all...

Japanese hack gets space probe back on track

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: Awesome

Gene Kranz: I don't care about what anything was DESIGNED to do, I care about what it CAN do.

Brit 'naut Tim Peake will run the London Marathon – in space

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: Virtual marathon idea - patent pending

Hello Miss Elk! Long time, no see...

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Where can I get these Raspberry cases???

Donald Trump wants Bill Gates to 'close the Internet', Jeff Bezos to pay tax

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: What luck for rulers that men do not think

I see what you did there... is one of his close advisors a former ace fighter pilot, and has his press secretary a funny walk?

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

@ oldtaku

Sir,

while I agree with you entirely, I will NOT have you badmouth troglodytes!

http://www.neanderthalmuseum.info/en/home/index.html

If it still works six months from now, count yourself lucky

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

"the first quickly developed the keyboard stutter that required Texas to replace a lot of units under warranty"

Yep, common problem. Switched to a programmable CASIO first (no complaints whatsoever, probably still in some drawer somewhere and probably still works...), then (when I could afford it) to a HP48SX. Still in daily use after 20 years. Got a 48GX later, to have one at the office and one for use at home. Another nice thing about the HPs is that a lot of people are baffled by RPN, so at the office no one ever wants to borrow it.

As to laptops - I've still got a Toshiba Satellite 4060XCDT from 1998 or so. There's some legacy software on it that needs Win98, and I need it every two years or so, as long as it works I won't bother with replacing it.

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

Re: Shame on you Mr Dabbs

Need to get rid of some soil? Perhaps someone wants to grow stuff - or cover up a dead hippie...