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* Posts by allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

6110 posts • joined 20 Oct 2015

Either my name, my password or my soul is invalid – but which?

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: "I bet you wish I'd captured all this on my webcam."

Yes.

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By Jove! Astroboffins spot 12 new spanking moons around Jupiter

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Now, are the sure all of these are really moons?

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Code of conduct claims new Texas Instruments CEO after just six weeks

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Skinny-dipping in the secretary pool.

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Crooks swipe plutonium, cesium from US govt nuke wranglers' car. And yes, it's still missing

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Small, tactical nukes exist. And yes, they are portable.

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You wanna be an alpha... tester of The Register's redesign? Step this way

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Is a redesign strictly necessary at this point?

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No, seriously, why are you holding your phone like that?

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Nice pics

I predict some good memes using those pics.

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allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: Phone reviews

Headphone sockets are soo noughties, dude.

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Every step you take: We track you for your own safety, you know?

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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"It also monitors toilet visits and scans your retinas every 80 seconds."

"Why's that?"

"Just making sure you're still you. Some might call it invasive, but we think it shows we care."

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Skynet for the win? AI hunts down secret testing of nuclear bombs

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: you-could-be-sacked-for-tweeting-entirely-personal-things

You might not get the job in the first place if the pre-engagement "Adverse Media Check" discloses that you hold Personal or Political Opinions that your potential employer disagrees with.

Fixed.

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In defence of online ads: The 'net ain't free and you ain't paying

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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"Me, I plan to mark the occasion by spraying myself liberally with Lynx "Sea Air" and walking around exuding an aroma akin to that of a bladderwrack-infested crab's armpit in a fishfinger factory."

This is kinda obligatory now, isn't it.

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allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: World Gin Day

Didn't know about it either, but now that I do, Saturday is sorted out...

Pro tip: you'll only get a hangover when you get sober again.

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Your F-35s need spare bits? Computer says we'll have you sorted in... a couple of years

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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So basically, if an adversary hacks ALIS, all the F35s are grounded. Brilliant.

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allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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I've heard him being called a National Socialist.

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As Tesla hits speed bump after speed bump, Elon Musk loses his mind in anti-media rant

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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"We are masters of the unsaid words, but slaves of those we let slip out."

-- Winston Churchill

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Is your smart device a bit thick? It's about to get a lot worse

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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That's not too bad, actually.

I have worked in environments where you were harshly punished for this.

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RAF Air Command to take on UK military space ops

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: Cheaper alternative

Just spitballing here - but why not outsource the UK Government itself to India while we're at it?

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Das blinkenlights are back thanks to RPi revival of the PDP-11

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: Grammatical point

If you really want to go all Teutonic: Blinklichter.

Das Blinklicht. Die Blinklichter.

But where's the fun in that? Blinkenlights is a perpfectly cromulent word in German; use 'der', 'die' or 'das' according to your own liking.

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Three-hour outage renders Nest-equipped smart homes very dumb

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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The S in IoT stands for security.

The R in IoT stands for reliability.

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allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: Unnecessary points of failure

"And neither would it know by itself that you'll be having guests over, one of which has some dietary requirements."

But "it" would know.

Appointment in your and your guests' phones. Contact info in the phones. Shopping habits of all persons involved from online-ordering history, cashless payments, tracking. Medical information about all persons involved from appointments with doctors, browser history, e-mails. And so on.

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allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: "Pop round and turn the heating on again, will you?"

Sounds like a pretty smart solution to me...

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Blighty's super-duper F-35B fighter jets are due to arrive in a few weeks

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: bombing cities

At the time, the theories by Giulio Douhet about military air power, the effects of bombing cities, etc were quite popular all over Europe.

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America's forgotten space station and a mission tinged with urine, we salute you

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: Nice work, El Reg

"Geek's Guide to the Galaxy" has a nice ring to it.

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allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Saw it two or three weeks ago. Worth watching.

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Fixing a printer ended with a dozen fire engines in the car park

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: or a very small and hot Frenchman?

Early 1970ies?

Nicolas Sarkozy's first summer job between school and uni.

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New Monty Python movie to turn old jokes into new royalties

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Well, I'm a golfer member of The Church of Python, so yes, I'll pay my dues.

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allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: Semprini?

Out!!

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NASA demos little nuclear power plant to help find little green men

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Well, okay then. Just don't put all the spent ones in one big pile on the dark side of the Moon.

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allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: So basically....

Huh. I always thought navel reactors ran on oranges.

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Take-off crash 'n' burn didn't kill the Concorde, it was just too bloody expensive to maintain

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: Lavatory!

As a man who once had to clean some 20 toilets that were used by some 200 young men for a couple of weeks, I can fully corroborate this.

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Pentagon in uproar: 'China's lasers' make US pilots shake in Djibouti

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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The only way to stop a bad guy with a laserpointer is a good guy with a laserpointer, right?

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IT systems still in limbo as UK.gov departments await Brexit policy – MPs

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: The truth is...

Depressingly accurate.

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Blame everything on 'computer error' – no one will contradict you

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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"If ever you need someone to hold down your computer while you give it a kicking, he's your man."

Thanks for the offer, but the day I'll need help with this will be the proverbial "that'll be the day" day.

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BOFH: But I did log in to the portal, Dave

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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It's funny because it it true.

Also, I'm a bit surprised that the boss gets to lend a hand in the carpet roll and quicklime routine (instead of being the body in the carpet roll).

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‘I broke The Pentagon’s secure messaging system – and won an award for it!’

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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This is how WWIII will start, isn't it?

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NetHack to drop support for floppy disks, Amiga, 16-bit DOS and OS/2

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: Lamentable but understandable.

Agreed.

Except for "the roof of Big Ben". Big Ben is the bell, not the tower. The bell is mounted in the Elizabeth tower.

I suggest using the Post Office Tower for mooning purposes, as it is taller.

https://www.parliament.uk/about/living-heritage/building/palace/architecture/palacestructure/towers-of-parliament/

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GitLab crawling back online after breaking its brain in two

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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So... did overall productivity go up or down?

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I spy with my little eye ... a quantum drum with TRILLIONS of atoms

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: Sometime in the not too distant future . . .

I'm not altogether sure I'd want this particular reality back. Statistically speaking, there should exist better ones.

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Noise from blast of gas destroys Digiplex data depot disk drives

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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I wonder whether the acoustics of the room itself play a part in this.

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allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: Safe for personnel?

"considering the cost of keeping said sub-humans locked up for the rest of their life, terminate them"

Exactly the "reasoning" behind this.

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Double double, soil and trouble, fire burn and heat shield bubble: NASA cracks rover, has dirty talk with ESA

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Just get Matt Damon to patch up the cracked heat shield with some duct tape. Boom, done!

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allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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"There's bound to be a car passing by that they could flag down."

€50 say it'll be a red Tesla roadster.

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'Alexa, listen in on my every word and send it all to a shady developer'

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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"Describe in single words only the good things that come into your mind about... your mother."

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allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: Skills ?

What about "mad skillz", then?

(Mine's the one with the - oh never mind, I must have left it at home. I'll sort it out myself. Sorry to bother you.)

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allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: Does anybody else notice...

"[...] i remind them they're carrying a hackable-device with a microphone that is connected to the internet as well."

I don't. Life without a shinyphone still is remarkable possible.

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Programmers! Close the StackOverflow tabs. This AI robot will write your source code for you

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: MBAs will love it.

A Venn diagram of MBAs and PHBs has a bit of an overlap... and then some.

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Can't log into your TSB account? Well, it's your own fault for trying

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: Surprisingly, perhaps, I can't ever recall a piece of software that was a waste of time.

I still have that somewhere... loved the mechanical typewriter sound effect.

A friend borrowed it once and installed ALL the sound effects on his company laptop. Whatever you did, using whatever software, it would make a sound. A couple of days after, his boss borrowed the laptop (because the boss' laptop was on the fritz) to do a presentation for some customers. A somewhat mixed reaction... it probably would have went better if he had thought of just turning the sound off (this was so long ago, laptops still had an actual dial/knob to turn).

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BOFH: Guys? Guys? We need blockchain... can you install blockchain?

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Isn't there a song, "I love you like a block and chain" or something?

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Cosmic prang probe: Euro space boffins to smash sats, virtually

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: Throwing themselves into the void to escape all this hideousness!

I can totally believe that for any kind of communications satellite.

Seriously, if the machines will rise, it will start with the comms stuff. Because they are sick and tired of all the crap they have to relay.

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Oh dear... Netizens think 'private' browsing really means totally private

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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"opaque mode" ?

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Pyro-brainiacs set new record with waste-heat-into-electricity study

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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So basically you could make a heat sink that produces some extra leccy? Cool.

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