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* Posts by CrazyOldCatMan

2174 posts • joined 6 Oct 2015

Capita's UK military recruiting system has 'glitches' admits minister

CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Cuts?

You missed an option:

4) Review the MoD and how it works and cut all the time-serving wastes of space (usually former high-ranking service personnel) that infest its carpeted corridors..

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Airbus warns it could quit A380 production

CrazyOldCatMan
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Without the droning of the engines

I like hearing the engine noise. It's a reassurance that the flightline isn't about to go subterranean..

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: 380b?

Datsun had a 180b

Ahh, Datsun. Whatever happened to them? Borged/renamed?

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Drone perves defeated by tinfoil houses

CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: I use frogs for defense.

time for my medication from the nice young men

Let me guess - frog pills? After all, you already have the required ingredients..

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Water based interception

You could always fly your own defence drone over your property

I'd rather have a set of defense turrets a-la Death Star. Even better if they can actually hit what they are aiming at..

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Coat

Re: They were not defeated

The fog of war.

Complete with house robots going on the rampage?

(Mine's the one with a big spinner in the pocket. Thank you)

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: They were not defeated

but a pressure washer is a far better idea.

Even better would be a troupe of monkeys flinging what troupes of monkeys are famous for flinging.

(Try saying that quickly five times!)

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China's first space station to – ahem – de-orbit in late March

CrazyOldCatMan
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Finally, install titanium rods in the warehouses, hold the world to ransom.

Jeff - is that you?

The time to beware is when they start shipping white cats up to orbit. After all, no evil villan is allowed to be onscreen without one.

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Murican serfs

It's not about it being a first step to somewhere else.

Indeed. Space stations make fine orbital anvil deliveries.. Albeit somewhat expensive and hard to control ones..

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Coming home

Swindon isn't real.

Oh come on - there are not enough drugs in all the world to power an imagination that would come up with Swindon!

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Coming home

Swindon is somewhat north of 42.7N...

Most of the time yes. But when people are not watching who knows what it does?

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Coming home

Swindon

Oi!

(I would concede that it does have a somewhat tenuous link to reality. But at least it's not Gloucester..)

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Canada charges chap alleged to run stolen data-mart Leakedsource

CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: ha ha

Strangely, my hotmail account is inviolate.

Which nicely shows how little value is placed on a hotmail account..

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IBM kills Global Technology and Global Business Services: It's all ‘IBM Services’ now

CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Bollocks...

identified at a 1000 yards by any sensible budget-holding IT manager

Yeah - but a sensible budget-holding IT manager is very rarely trusted to make decisions about outsourcing. Otherwise there would be a whole lot less of it happening..

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Services is tough

it's tough going for IBM, DXC, HCL etc.

Hang on - I'll get out my violin.

Nope, can't find it. It's been downsized to match and now needs a scanning electron microscope to spot it.

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Trusted to sack project staff half-way through the project.

Do what Bain & Company should have done. Display your exponential intelligence by staying well clear.

Well - I suspect that they made several tanker-loads of cash out of providing (essentially) meaningless soundbytes so they are going to be laughing all the way to the bank. Followed by a swift renaming so that the pervase stench of failure doesn't follow them. Either that or blame it all on a rogue intern..

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CrazyOldCatMan
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nd attended the right schools and university

And/or has bought the right-sounding degree..

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CrazyOldCatMan
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is this something to do with Crufts?'

Sadly, Crufts has also ceased to mean "the best of breed". It's more about "closest adherance to breed standards" even if that breed standard results in dogs that can't breathe or breed unaided.

(CF: Pugs or bulldogs for the former and miniture dachsunds for the latter)

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CrazyOldCatMan
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- Who writes this crap?

Someone with an MBA in Marketing. Universally recognised as adding no value whatsoever to a company.

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: IBM “has the most skilled, [..] IT and business consulting professionals in the world.”

Its not the PC that killed IBM; its the competition

And the failure to actually put into practise what past heads of IBM came to realise: "adapt to the new market or die".

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Itsy Bitsy Mismanagement

Idiots Become Managers

To be fair - this is fairly pervasive throughout corporatia..

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CrazyOldCatMan
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IBM have their own cloud? Gosh.

Well - they had to do *something* with all those old mainframes that other people are no longer using..

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Users clutch refilled Box boxen after 'empty' folder panic

CrazyOldCatMan
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And those who have lost irretrievable data, but it was a long time ago and therefore couldn't possibly happen again

And those that still use tape as a backup medium despite the fact that restores from tape regularly fail..

Not that I'm bitter or anything (one past workplace used to store tapes in a locked storeroom. Unfortunately, said storeroom was over the plant room and tapes would regularly get corrupted by the magnetic fields from the large pumps on the ceiling of the plant room..)

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Childcare is a pain in the bum and so is HMRC's buggy subsidies site

CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: I'm running out of clever titles for FAIL

that's why they are teaching kids html so they can build websites that work

HTML is the simplest, most trivial parts of a website. Security and authentication are a tad more difficult.. (although if bloated plutocrats like Saisburys can get it right why can't the Government? They (theoretically) have the ability to throw vast resources at the issue..)

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Cue the usual whining from the 'childfree' brigade about how 'their' tax money is being spent

Speaking as a happy member of the childfree brigade I'm entirely happy for my taxes to be spent on childcare. Likewise the NHS, support for foreign countries and social services in general.

What I object to is spending vast wedges of cash on a totally dysfuncional MoD. Armed forces - yes, MoD, no.

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Define response...

Technically a 404 error is a response

"Chicken not found[1]"..

[1] My wife[4] and I were doing our weekly shopping[2] and say a chicken priced at £4.04. We both looked at each other and (simultaneously) said "Chicken not found!". You had to be there[3]..

[2] Such is the exciting and crazy world of the COCM household. All those cats don't feed themselves[5] y'know.

[3] Or not. It was mildly amusing.

[4] A minor web-monkey.

[5] Well - theoretically they could[6] but with 7 cats in one household it would be somewhat of a strain on the local wildlife. And there are a couple of them who I suspect would not be terribly good hunters.

[6] Apart from the young one - she's not allowed out yet - not had her second immunisation and hasn't been spayed. And, much as I like cats, we really, really don't want any more kittens.. (well - I would - but I'm under orders from a greater power[4] to not allow any more.)

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Ecuador tried to make Julian Assange a diplomat

CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: It's a weird world...

that I dont consider myself a part of this stupid species

Whether you consider yourself a human is irrelevent. The fact is that you are one - and all the wishing in the world isn't going to change that.

Reality - it sucks but it's all we have.

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: It's a weird world...

because he published unpleasant material

He's free to publish whatever he wants just as we are free to form an opinion about him based on that.

Free speech can have consequences.

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Cortana. Whatever happened to world domination?

CrazyOldCatMan
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How many abortive projects has MS had over the years

Pretty much everything other than Windows (all types) and Office.

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: "cleverness by Microsoft"

Now THAT is an oxymoron if I've ever heard one.

Oh I dunno - they are quite good at buying cleverness. Of course, by the time the aquisition is complete the cleverness has been homeopathically diluted by the Microsoft Water[1] of Stupidity..

[1] Which almost certainly *does* have a memory. Unlike real water..

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CrazyOldCatMan
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-ex OS/2 user

It would be nice if IBM wrote a version of WPS for linux - I'd use that as a GUI in a heartbeat..

(Gnome is OK but relies on systemd and so is a non-starter. KDE is (last time I used it) just not good enough. I've never tried Mate/Cinnamon)

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Standard action - turn Cortana off...

My initial configuration routine is a single step.

"format c: /y"?

Or "boot from linux USB and install"?

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Cortina^B^B^Bana

Having owned a (pre-disastered) Ford Cortina I can see the resemblance:

Handles like the suspension is made of marshmallow, bits drop off at the slightest opportunity and the whole thing leaks fuel and is only one spark away from firey death..

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: I know what it is

put a humanizing face on an incredibly invasive spy infrastructure

Like all voice assistants. Once they get to be locally executed I might start to get interested.

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CrazyOldCatMan
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can't even remember when it started...

OS/2. A decent collaboration between IBM and Microsoft that ended with Microsoft deciding to concentrate on Windows 3..

(And it's no suprise that the programmer API for NT 3.5 was remarkably alike to the OS/2 API..)

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Cabinet reshuffle leaves UK digital policy and GDS rudderless. And now the news...

CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: What?

or just make them up for a laugh

Well, senior Civil Service types need to get their laughs somehow.

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: re: PPE Grads

How did such a gormless cow get to be prime minister?

Have you not seen "Yes, Prime Minister"? The selection process is well outlined there.

For the unfortunates who haven't seen it, the process is thus:

1. Two strong candidates with ability stand for the job. Each has rabid followers who will never, never vote for the other to be PM.

2. Deadlock ensues

3. A compromise, third candidate is put forward - someone who no-one really strongly objects to - usually on the basis that they haven't actually done anything that anyone objects to (the last 4 words are probably redundant)

4. Everyone involved holds their noses and votes for the compromise candidate on the basis that at least they are not candidate A or B.

Thus, the strong candidates of proven ability don't get to be PM whilst a candidate that is such a non-entity that no-one objects to them gets elected.

Here endeth the lesson.

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Digital what?

but aren't these people meant to be smart

Well they have a degree which (usually) indicates some sort of..

PPE you say?

Oh.

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Beer hall putz: Regulator slaps northern pub over Nazi-themed ad

CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: The problem here is bigger than one pub...

Can I say "colonial boy" without offending?

Yeah - but which colony? The naughty one that kicked us out 250 years ago, the slightly-less-naughty one that beats us at sports[1] or one of the nice ones?

[1] Not exactly an exclusive club this.. depending on the sport of course.

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Germans are pretty sick of war jokes and I'm not surprised. They did start it though.

Mosely and his blackshirts were mildly popular here, supported by the Daily Mail

I'm shocked I tell you, shocked that such an upstanding organisation like the Daily Heil would ever support a facist organistion.

Next you'll be telling me that they dislike immigrants!

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Carphone Warehouse cops £400k fine after hack exposed 3 MEEELLION folks’ data

CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: GDPR

START at £500,000 and then reduce it to show where good practice was used

Ah - the (alleged) HMRC method of assessing fines. Unless you happen to be a large multi-national company or the CEO happens to be the brother of someone you went to Eton with..

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Fines should be realistic and punitive

And will be under GDPR..

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Watt? You thought the wireless charging war was over? It ain't even begun

CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Surely unidirectional wireless is an incredibly inefficient approach to transmitting energy?

Yes, I'm cynical, very cynical.

Or, as we prefer to call it round here, a realist.

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Russia claims it repelled home-grown drone swarm in Syria

CrazyOldCatMan
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Low tech is often very effective

Indeed. A bow and arrow can kill you almost as easily as a rifle.. Just ask the French!

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WikiLeave? Assange tipped for Ecuadorian eviction

CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: He may regret waiting

I believe Trump has a reputation for valuing and rewarding loyalty

Where said value is asymptotically approaching zero?

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MPs sceptical of plan for IT to save the day after UK quits customs union

CrazyOldCatMan
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Can't we go back to the system of bartering?

OK - now, how many unborn children does it cost to get a new car?

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Hmm

The second one failed in a cloud of managerial infighting for the fourth time in a row

NPfIT?

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: but they took a clear decision

MPs who claim the referendum was binding to be blatant, deliberate liars

Objection! Tautology..

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CrazyOldCatMan
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technology by cramming 'blockchain'

With their advanced level of technology knowledge they probably think that 'blockchain' is the big metal thingy made of lots of links that can be raised to prevent ships coming into a harbour..

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How are the shares, Bry? Intel chief cops to CPU fix slowdowns

CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: What Annoys Me...

FOUR different hardware manufacturers have EXACTLY the same flaw

The phrase "convergent evolution" springs to mind. They set out to solve a (mostly) identical set of functionalities and ended up with a (mostly) identical set of solutions.

The (mostly) bit is why AMD are not vulnerable to one of the exploits..

No paranoia or conspiracy theories required. Although I'm sure that the existing TLAs are more than happy to take advantage..

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