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* Posts by CrazyOldCatMan

3597 posts • joined 6 Oct 2015

Oxford startup magics up metamaterials for next-gen charging

CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

"that turned a surface into a speaker"

After all, the Vogons managed to do it - how hard can it be?

Hole-y ship: ISS 'nauts take a wander to crack Soyuz driller whodunnit

CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

Re: When was the hole made?

get out the rubber truncheons.

Followed by a no-expenses-paid trip to the colder parts of Siberia on work experience.

Thanks to UK peers, coming to a laptop near you in 2019: Age checks for online smut

CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

Re: Doh....

Why do we bother with a Parliament of morons?

Ohh - I know this one!

Because we elect people who haven't ever had a real job[1] in their lives? Who have spent all their 'working' life in a political/social bubble and never, ever have had to do something real?

[1] IE - not politics/banking/legal.

Super Micro says audit found no trace of Chinese spy chips on its boards

CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

All in all Bloomberg's failure to retract this story leaves a sizeable stain on their integrity.

What little they had left anyway..

Poor people should get slower internet speeds, American ISPs tell FCC

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"light touch regulation."

And that's working just wonderfully now isn't it.

Just like it did in the Banking world. After all, it didn't cause the biggest recession this century did it?


CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

Re: Well, if they don't think it's fair...

I'd ALWAYS have to PAY for it, and people who ARE LAZY would RECEIVE IT.

You sir are an abomination. Did you ever stop to think in your smug world that maybe, just maybe the people without are without not because they are lazy but because people like you refuse to do your Christian duty to help the poor? You are so caught up in your refusal to acknowledge anyone else that you can't see that maybe, just maybe, people like you are part of the problem?

For once in your life take a good look in a mirror and examine yourself. And not in a "I'm OK Jack" way.

25% of NHS trusts have zilch, zip, zero staff who are versed in security

CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

Re: "no staff with security qualifications ..."

So let's please have more people with expertise, but let's stop selecting them on the basis of bogus qualifications that signify nothing of value.

[Wild applause].

Sadly, in order to make the case for someone to be employed or promoted, HR departments mostly want to go for the safe option and that's to require them to have qualifications of some sort. It's very rare that an IT-person-with-a-clue is allowed to both write the job spec *and* be part of the interview process.

CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

Re: I wish this was a unique situation

in-house IT security-aware

And lets also say it here - just becuase someone has a "security qualification" doesn't mean that they are any good at actually doing IT security - it just means they have a qualification..

Much like the much-despised MCSE[1] - all it proves is that someone has regurgitated their crammed training during an exam.

[1] Must Call Someone Experienced..

LG's beer-making bot singlehandedly sucks all fun, boffinry from home brewing

CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

Re: Why?

So what is the point of it, and who is the target audience?

1. To make the manufacturers money and

2. People with more money than sense (or ability).


CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

Re: Does it despense vast amounts of bog rool??

drunkenly weaved

"Wove" is (I believe) the past tense of "To Weave". Just like "shone" is the past tense for "to shine" and not "shined".

What is it with the lack of ability with the past tense[1]? I mean, in my day they didn't particularly teach English grammar at school and I still managed to work it all out!

Kids today eh?

[1] Something that, I suspect, the Americans have infected us with - it's something I first saw in US-based self-published authors..

Dine crime: Chippy sells deep fried Xmas dinner

CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

Re: Xmas dinner?

Cranberry sauce is shit.

Amen brother.

With the added bonus of being one of the things that puts my arthritis into overdrive. Yet another reason to dislike the Christmas season where *everything* seems to have cranberry added to it.

CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

Re: festive fried food

I'll take a gross. Do they ship internationally?

Gross being the operative word. And no, they won't ship because international laws on shipping toxic substances prohibit.

CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

kids' nappies, they needed no encouragement or specific dietary additions to produce a contents which warranted full HAZMAT protocols

Never having had (or wanted) kids I can't confirm - however, in the cat world, the equivalent is your moggie eating either shrews or house martins.

Both a *violent* emetics. I've never seen a cat projectile-vomit and have the violent runs at the same time before..

He competely ignored birds from that moment on.

College PRIMOS prankster wreaks havoc with sysadmin manuals

CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

Re: BBC Micros at college

I did exactly the same thing!

During my first proper job (mainframe assembler programmer - ah the joys of running the 3270 terminal emulator on IBM PS/2 50z machines connected to a 4mb token-ring..) I got bored a lot. One day, I discovered the joy of MD-DOS system calls and a freeware DOS assembler..

We used OS/2 LAN Server as our network management and so had a whole heap of print and file servers scattered around the building, none of which had any security at all.

Then one day, I didcovered the network enumeration API.. one broadcast storm later (and a PC that I hurredly switched off to stop said storm), I had a complete list of all the file servers.

I amended my code and (overnight) ran it again and ended up with a complete list of all the files on all the servers - most of which had been put there by staff and were unknown to the Powers That Be (and, in quite a few occasions, that was probably just as well - even if in the mid-90's, the porn was pretty low-res..).

There were quite a few games though, all of which I copied onto floppies and took home.

Huawei CFO poutine cuffs by Canadian cops after allegedly busting sanctions on Iran

CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

Re: China is not a democracy

They have no 'belief' in Western free market capitalism

Neither does the current US administration - they prefer a capitalist/protectionist state where monopolies rule (since those monopolies are generally their friends).

FCC slammed for 'arbitrary and reckless' plan to change how text messages are regulated

CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

Re: To use a favourite Wikipedia phrase

"text messages were originally an engineering function that the first mobile engineers left in and which telcos were initially extremely skeptical of"

Citation needed.

Ok - not an official citation but here goes:

Many, many years ago (mid-late 1990's), I worked at the Motorola tentacle responsible for making and selling cellular base-stations of mobile service providers. We also provided other services - one of which was one of the first txt message handlers, written for Cellnet (remember them?) and running off one of the big Sun servers that we had sat in our computer rooms. One of my friends was part of the team that wrote the message handler..

And yes, before they worked out how to monetise it, the service providers were *extremely* resistant to offering the service to customers since it used up bandwidth on the control channels that had hitherto been reserved solely for engineering messages - something which would cost them money to expand if the service became popular.

Of course, they ended up charging obscene multiples of the actual cost of the txt message (I remember them being in the order of 6p/txt when the actual cost was more of the order of .00001p/txt) because it made *lots* op money while costing very, very little.

Awkward... Revealed Facebook emails show plans for data slurping, selling access to addicts' info, crafty PR spinning

CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

Re: This is just a way to get our US minds off the orange toad

Not that this has anything to do with UK or governance.

Well - there is an awful lot of huffing and puffing over in the US that one of their client states has dared to ignore the results of a US court case..

The British Home Office was warned about its crappy data management – then Windrush happened

CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

Re: My old IT project! Don't blame the IT system its the users issue.

if you put rubbish information in you are going to get rubbish information out

Too true - I was involved with a system sold into hospitals where we were reliant on the accuracy of data put in my both medical personnel and clerks. And we were constrained from having inputs selected from dropdowns and made to make them free-text fields (despite the medical staff wanting them to be dropdowns - it was the DoH minders that wanted free-text).

The result of which is that when they also new features that required data migration we had to spend a *lot* of time (at our own expense) cleansing the data..

CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

the home office is staffed by proto totalitarian racists

T'was ever thus. As can be seen from the BBC series "Peaky Blinders" which, although a drama, was pretty well researched as to prevailing morality and customs.

CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

Re: In occasions like this...

case of absolute evil or one of absolute incompetence

They are not mutually exclusive - especially when the incompetence is deliberate..

CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

Re: What Data?

nor that Devon, my own place of birth, was in England

Devon? In England? Wash your mouth out!

(The disinclination to be labeled as English appears to be spreading from Cornwall to Devon - or at least according to my Cornish/Devonian[1] wife..)

[1] Not - not the geological era. Honest dear.. The bed in the garage again? OK.

Apple co-founder and former CEO has the most expensive John Hancock on the planet

CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

Re: Weird Correlation

if she ever actually signed anything

She signed lots of things - every Act of Parliament during her reign for one.. (Mind you, the Hansard archive might be a tad miffed if you tried to make off with them)

CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

Re: Very good of you

It might even be worth me making the trek to a real branch of my bank.

I hate to burst the dreams of unimaginable wealth, but cheques are only valid for up to six months after signing (unless there are truely exceptional circumstances).

GOPwned: Republicans fall victim to email hack

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Re: The Russians are Coming!!!

If Trump gets impeached, there'll be a President Pence

Which is a truely, truely scary prospect. He's as evil as Trump but about 100 times more competent.

CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

Re: All we can do is wait

how on earth do you know there's nothing there?

Because he's a True Believer who can't believe that the Repubs can ever do any wrong..

In other words - another symptom of the political dysfunction and tribalism currently infecting Western democracies.

From Motown to lockdown: Detroit bathroom bung IT exec gets one year in the clink

CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

for someone to risk imprisonment for 30k USD over 7 years

No-one ever suggested that all criminals were smart..

Surface Book 2 afflicted by mystery Blue Screen Of Death errors

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Re: I wonder if this level of service will be extended

POKE 59458,62

( - possibly mythical way of destroying the build-in monitor on a Commodore PET)

CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

Re: MS fucks up again...

air is breatheable

At the moment. But Trump and his little trumplings are trying to fix that..

Millennials 'horrify' their neighbours with knob-shaped lights display

CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

Re: "It's deeply offensive" says 53 year old man

God botherers who think Christmas and the associated garish decorations are important

But not to those of us that actually think about such things rather than being fed opinions..

(Chrstmas as we know it has very little to do with the birth of Christ - which was probably in March - and everything to do with the Catholic Church borging pagan festivals in order to keep their converts happy)

CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

Re: Is it a penis or....

one of the three gods mentioned in the first part of the Bible (Adonai, Elohim and Yahweh)

Yet another example of "a little knowledge is a dangerous thing"..

Adonai is an Aramaic word (the New Testament and bits of the OT were written in Aramaic - most of the OT was written in Ancient Hebrew) that is cognate with 'Lord'. The Ancient (and Modern) Jews have a proscription about using the names of God directly (YHWH being one of them) and so used the word 'Adonai' as a placeholder. Much the same way as we say 'Lord' instead of using YHWH.

Elohim (which is plural) simply means "mighty ones" (or "sons of God" - 'El' means God/mighty power in ancient Hebrew and is used sometimes and one of the Names of God). Sometimes used to refer to angels, other times used to refer to the faithful.

YHWH is a word that stands in for the phrase "I am what I am" (one of the names of God that declares his purpose - can also be stated as "I will be what I will be" - Ancient Hebrew only had two tenses - past complete and incomplete). Also note that ancient Hebrew had no written vowels so modern English has added in the extra vowels to give some idea of the pronunciation.

So in summary (and apologies for the Biblical nerdism), your reasoning and example are utterly wrong since none of the three names you mentioned are anything to do with an acient fertility god. There were gods who were referred to using 'El' - but only because all the langueages in the area were related and used similar names. Not three Gods, but different names for the same God (and one name that is plural and doesn't refer to God at all - as in the ancient sh'ma: "Hear O Israel, the Lord our God is One" - which in Modern Hebrew uses 'Adonai' as a placeholder.).

And yes, I have studied that stuff - for a lot of my life.

Dog with 'psychotic tendencies' escapes home to poop on his neighbours' pillows

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Re: Bah!

this dog may be a case for use of shock collars

Something that is utterly illegal in civilised countries.

The fact that BB recommends it (and appears quite blase about use of shock collars) says all you need to know about his personality and utter selfishness and lack of empathy.

Quite honestly, anyone that approves of the use of those things has no right to call themselves human, let alone a person.

CubeSat buddies, like those sent to track Mars InSight landing, can be used in future missions

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And what shape would that be to non-Yanks?

Same shape as a rounders ball..

International politicos gather round to grill Dick, head of Facebook policy, on data slurping

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'firm was "pleased about the right kind of regulation"'

AKA "regulation that we are allowed to write that doesn't commit to anything and allows us to get away with whatever we please"..

For an example, please see the US FCC.

Angry Googlers demand bosses pull the wings off 'Dragonfly' censored Chinese search engine

CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

Re: Its a corporation, not a cooperative

sustained campaign against them in both the US and the UK

To be fair (and I remember the 1970s), the pendulum had swung too far tawards the unions and things needed to be rebalanced.

Unfortunately, it swung too far the other way. Maybe we need to damp the osscilation a little bit to get a nice central steady-state.

CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

Re: Nice to know that everything is okay....

incoherent drivel ranting there's been on here for quite a while

And let's face it, the various Brexit 'discussions' have set a pretty low bar..

Doctors join wombats in sh!tting bricks to help parents relax about kids chowing down on Lego

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ignored a pill's "take with water" instruction

*Very* highly recommended with asprin (or take with milk for extra buffering). Even though acetyl salicylic acid is a weak acid, it's still an acid. And if it lodges somewhere without a good mucus coat, you *will* get burnt.

CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

Cotter pins (split pins to you Brits)

What we call cotter pins are the sort of tapered-with-a-nut-on-the-end solid pin that old pushbikes used to use to hold the pedal crank onto the driveshaft.

The pin that you used to tighten when there was slop or play in the pedals.. until one day you pulled it entirely through the pedal crank and had to replace it..

I suspect they do things slightly differently nowadays - I haven't ridden a pushbike since 1982 (when I was old enough to ride a motorbike).

CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

40-pin processor chip embedded in their knee..

I too have knelt on a 486 (a 486dx25 to be precise). It came of an old PC and was in a tin box with other chip effluvia.

I managed to knock the tin off the bench and, in kneeling down to pick it up, with unerring precision knelt on the upside-down chip. Whilst wearing shorts.

It hurt. A lot. And didn't do much for the pins on the chip either.

CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

play sand

As the owner of multiple cats, I'd never let any kids of mine (if we had any) go anywhere near that stuff unless it's fresh out of the bag 10 minutes before playtime..

CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

Re: Pedantry Corner

given it height to width ratio, a reasonably comfortable object to pass

Apart from the sharp(ish) edges and corners of course. Makes me wince just thinking about it..

Euro consumer groups: We think Android tracking is illegal

CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

Re: The user has no freedom but to consent

That said, if the ad companies cannot do advertising without spying

Well - there's just been a case in France where the regulator found that how the ad industry collects and tracks information (and obtains consent to do so) is illegal under the GDPR because they bundle many services together under on banner so "informed consent" isn't obtained for each usage.

Which means that ad brokers and exchanges are, in fact, illegal[1] as currently constituted in Europe.

Which is a Good Thing(TM).

[1] Well - the data collection and retention is illegal. And without the data, the current methods of ad real-time-bidding doesn't work - so essentially, all the ad exchanges involved would go out of business. Which is a Very Very Good Thing(TM)

Microsoft readies the swatter as more bugs wriggle out of the Windows 10 woodwork

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Re: Sadly...

My guess is that the latest Mars lander runs Linux ..

Previous ones have run VxWorks - I don't know if that's still the case.

CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

Re: snip

I can never decide if I missed my meds or if I missed the joke


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More like pieces falling off as the OS rattles off into the sunset

Oi! I resemble that remark!

In no way is Windows 10 remotely like a Morris Minor..

Facebook spooked after MPs seize documents for privacy breach probe

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Re: Missing Information

he person in question came over here with foreknowledge that he would be compelled to hand over any documents he just happened to have on his person

Or on Dropbox (which Ars Technica identifies as being the source of the files - which were then copied to a USB stick).

Which doesn't require much forethought since that's probably where they were kept anyway.

CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

Re: Sergeant at Arms

modern equivalent of an armed goon to take something

Sargents-at-Arms are not armed (and haven't been since about the 17th century). Anything they achieve they use via the means of law, not naked force of arms..

CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

Re: Its about time

Well just because we don't have any gun boats left

Sure we do - I remember visiting HMS Belfast as a kid!

Oh - you mean "working ones with a life expectancy of more than 30 minutes in an actual war"?

CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

Re: It's got me wondering...

choke the cat with cream


I've reported your abuse post to the Feline Freedom Front of Judea. Expect incoming hairballs immediately!

(If they can be bothered and someone turns the fire off and doesn't open a pouch of nice food)

CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

Re: History lesson

it doesn't (usually) resort to snatching people from the street in foreign lands

No - the usual route for dealing with ex (and not so ex) IRA people is a quick visit from some SAS blokes, followed by a double-tap to the head..

CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

Re: Why?

You disable all javascripts so they can't spy on you from their Facebook Like buttons

Yup. NoScript is your friend..

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