* Posts by Francis Boyle

2739 publicly visible posts • joined 29 Jul 2007

Actual control of Windows 10 updates (with a catch)... and more from Microsoft

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Unfortunately

they're eye-wateringly expensive. If they weren't I'd have one.

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Now

if they put the screens on actual keys. Surely that's economically feasible now. I mean, I just bought a $10 smartwatch.

Done and dusted? Vast storm gobbles NASA's long-lived Mars robot

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I expect

Elon's already got the trophy museum room designed.

Astroboffins trace mysterious noise from hard rock in space

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According to Wikipedia

she's still in the same place where she's been for 3.2 million years - Ethiopia. Seems she's a bit of a stay-at-home girl. (although I believe she did once do a world tour).

Woman sues NASA for ownership of vial of space dust

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I suspect

that some people around here might know about that.

Youth crime falls as kids stay inside to play Grand Theft Auto instead of going out to steal cars

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Re: So basically ...

The resolution may be good but on most levels the design is dull and uninspiring and the special effects are just pathetic.

Don’t talk to the ATM, young man, it’s just a machine and there’s nobody inside

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The wheelbarrow joke

When Dave allen told it it was "the docks"*.

*Or possibly "the Doc's" if he'd been watching Police Squad".

Motorola extends modular phone adventure for another year

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Motorola promised that Mods would be compatible with its devices for three years, which is something of a curse for the company, as it requires Motorola to produce phones that are (more or less) the same shape and size for the duration of the commitment.

Well that was the result of a bad design decision. Either you make the mod larger than the largest phone you want to support and have adaptors to suit smaller phones or you define the mod dimensions as smaller than the smallest phone and require an adapter (which can be styled to match the specific mod) to bring it up to size. Either way has (slight) disadvantages but nothing compared to locking yourself into one form factor.

Tor-forker Joshua Yabut cuffed for armoured personnel carrier joyride

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Re: Drug-fuelled rampage?

Well, alcohol is "drugs". Maybe the National Guard is trying to cutted down on dependence on foreign oil.

I see a satellite of a man ... Galileo, Galileo, Galileo, Galileo, that's now 4 sats fit to go

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AIUI

Navstar is the name of the American satellite system that provides the GPS service. The user facing service has always been referred to as "GPS" (or possibly "Navstar GPS" if you want to be very formal). It would be indeed be a good idea if people started referring to it as Navstar, but good luck in getting Americans to do that.

Great time to shift bytes: International bandwidth prices are in free fall

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Unfortunately

that's not something marketers want to hear. Soon enough they'll be flogging 8K because "it has to be better than 4K - the numbers don't lie".

Microsoft commits: We're buying GitHub for $7.5 beeeeeeellion

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Re: Time

If I were remotely interested in making jokes that rely on "well known Internet meme[s]" I wouldn't be doing it here. I come here, and to the comment threads in particular, because it's full of people who know all sorts of interesting (and sometimes obscure) stuff that I don't. And sometimes they make jokes about that stuff. And if I'm interested I look it up* and maybe have a laugh. Or, you know, I don't and move on to the next comment.

*like say typing "github lesbian" into a well-known search engine.

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Re: Time

@Hollerithevo

No, I came here to make a joke, which apparently flew over the heads of 11 people. Unfortunately there's no explainfrancisboyle.com.

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Time

to investigate ways of becoming a lesbian.

Is Microsoft about to git-merge with GitHub? Rumors suggest: Yes

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Re: the survey only listed Disney as a viable acquirer. How about AOL?

I chose Disney not because it was any better than any of the other choices but merely because it was mildly amusing (and I had run out of options). And no, not Red Hat. I don't need the option to insert systemd into my Arduino code.

Capture your late-night handbrake turns with this 'autonomous' car-chasing camera drone

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Re: A petrolhead selfie stick

With all those idiots driving around maybe you should consider getting off the street.

'Autopilot' Tesla crashed into our parked patrol car, say SoCal cops

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Musk is a geek

he thinks like a geek and is thus subject to "nerdview" (basically assuming that everyone sees a system as a system and not just as a thing that does something useful). I hate to say it but this is a case where a good marketing person would have come in handy.

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Re: The fundamental problem of self-driving cars is deep learning

"Unlike the brain, a deep neural net can only see things it has been trained to detect."

Nonsense. A neural net can only recognise things it has been trained to detect. Just like you. Can you distinguish a sonnet by Marlowe from one by Shakespeare? But since the detection of objects by autonomous vehicles has nothing to do with neural nets (and everything to do with things like LIDAR) Star Wars fans can safely roam the streets.

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Well

I've heard these stories about vicious animals called drop bears.

Storm in a teapot: Anger brews over npm's jokey proxy error messages

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Does Python still take you to XKCD

if you type "import antigravity". Maybe he should get onto that. And maybe while he's there he can complain that calling a language Python is a bit silly. With a bit of luck this will happen. (No, it's not the one you think.)

Beardy Branson: Wacky hyperloop tube maglev cheaper than railways

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The odd bridge

I think you might be slightly underestimating the number of bridges* on the UK rail system.

*I make it around 14000.

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Re: keeping the water out

Keeping air out under normal circumstances is the least of the problem Hyperloop has. Maintaining normal circumstances on the other hand. . .

Within Arm's reach: Chip brains that'll make your 'smart' TV a bit smarter

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Probably

This.

Tufts boffins track device location without GPS or towers

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Seems to me

less tracking technology and more straightforward position finding technology. The only difference from GPS that I can see is that it will require a certain percentage of devices to reveal their location. But that doesn't need to include you if you don't want it.

Swiss sausage sizzler 4.0 hits 200 bangers per hour

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Everthing

can be used as a sex toy.

If you have the imagination.

Astroboffins, get in here and explain Saturn's odd-shaped balls

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Just use Mimas

Once the fitting out is done the other moons won't stand a chance before your mighty death ray.

Senator Kennedy: Why I cast my Senate-busting vote for net neutrality

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Wait

This is the "pointless" vote that was destined to be defeated.

Victoria's educational apps-for-students let creeps contact kids

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I believe

Richard Chirgwin is an Australian (Sydneysider if I'm not mistaken). And maybe it is a storm in a teacup. I'm not competent to judge but bringing issues like like these to the attention of those who are is a valuable function of the press and I'm glad the Register is on the case.

Sysadmin hailed as hero for deleting data from the wrong disk drive

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A variant of Murphy's Law

If it can be done in a non-standard way* it will be done in a non-standard way. Corollary: never assume it hasn't been done in a non-standard way.

*AKA a hack, in the old parlance.

Blood spilled from another US high school shooting has yet to dry – and video games are already being blamed

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Wow

So much dog-whistling here it's like being at a sheepdog competition.

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Re: RE: Criminals will still own guns

I followed a link above and ended up at the wikipedia page List of massacres in Australia. Interesting in that in the list includes just one mass shooting with 10 people killed before 1981 that wasn't part of the frontier wars. Then from 1981 to 1996 something like 120 died in mass shootings (that includes the 35 people murdered at Port Arthur). Then John Howard (of whom I'm personally no fan) found the courage to act. In the next 15 years there were still mass shootings because of course criminals can still get guns, but fewer than 25 people were shot down by spree killers. That's a massive turnaround. So guess what - I'm happy to live in a country were only criminals have guns.

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"evil people"

Well, there's your problem.

The problem is not and has never been about evil people. The people who use guns to kill people aren't movie villains with eevil plans. They're very ordinary people who have gone off the rails due to delusional thinking or clearly diagnosable mental illness the health system can't or won't treat. They're even very ordinary men who carry a gun to feel tough, then use it when it turns out they're not tough enough to control their anger. It's even ordinary toddlers who find a gun in their mother's handbag and think it's a nice toy.

The only real evil is the willingness to condemn other people as evil. Everything else follows from that.

Real fake scam offers crypto-coin to replace frequent flier points

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Ah, I've worked it out

I look up a German word in a comment on another article which lead me to German Wikipedia (in translation) so Google now thinks I'm German when I'm here. Top quality program logic there, Google.

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Yes

but why is it in German*. The internet is strange.

*At least for me it is.

Off with e's head: E-cig explosion causes first vaping death

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Re: RE: Lighten up, jeez. I was less defensive than this when I smoked ciggies...

Try looking up the "British Doctors Study". Everything else is just a footnote.

America's forgotten space station and a mission tinged with urine, we salute you

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Re: Lots to see here

And NASA still hasn't paid the littering fine.

And THIS is how you do it, Apple: Huawei shames Cupertino with under-glass sensor

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The cameras in modern phones can be impressively good

They're just somewhat limited and horribly unergonomic. Maybe a third of the features of professional gear are there to enable the photographer actually to do something they couldn't do with consumer gear. The rest is ergonomics.

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Build a PC in a cheap chassis

No thanks. I'll take the chainsaw juggling.

First SpaceX Falcon 9 Block 5 rocket lobs comms sat into orbit

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Re: "Block 5 will be the last major upgrade to the Falcon series, "

I pretty sceptical about the BFR in general but why pick on the engines. The Raptor has been in development for the better part of a decade - It's not as though it's something Musk has just pulled out of his hat. (Also what has the US got to do with it - there are no borders in space.)

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Of course the moon exists

It's a completely real hologram. And I can prove it. Just watch one of my interminable Youtube videos. The proofs in there somewhere, I swear.

SpaceX Bangabandhu-1 launch held up while Dragon splashes down on time

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Why?

Bangladesh is at 20 N 90 E so by my calculations that would put the satellite at roughly 45~50 degrees above the horizon. Satellite dishes in high latitudes are regularly operated at 30 degrees and probably less so I think you need something more to back up your conspiracy theory.

Virtue singing – Spotify to pull hateful songs and artists

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Re: I take it they will expunge most rap then?

Well, if misogyny* were taken as seriously as racism a lot of rap would have already been consigned to the void.

*I don't mean mild sexism but actual hatred or contempt for women.

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Well, actually. . .

first they came for Gary Glitter.

Everyone draws the line differently but few would refuse to draw the line somewhere and those few are probably psychopaths.

Glibc 'abortion joke' diff tiff leaves Richard Stallman miffed

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FFS

Everyone who seeks power seeks to control language not just your mythical SJW bogeymen.

ESA's all-seeing space eye captures momentary sunshine over Britain

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Or the British Empire

has made a sudden comeback.

UK's Royal Navy buys £13m mine-blasting robot boat

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What?

You mean the Gilligan's Island mine episode?

Uber and NASA pen flying taxi probe pact

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Elon's smarter than that and he came up with hyperloop.

Seriously the way to get people to and from airports quickly is a fast train (maglev and tunnels optional).

Trademark dispute by Dr Dre against Dr Drai the gynaecologist dismissed

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If Dr Dre is worried about confusion

it makes me wonder what sort of "services" he's offering in addition to the musical ones. "Yes, of course I'm a real doctor now get up on the examination table".

The Rocky Planet Picture Show: NASA Mars InSight ready for launch

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Centaurs are traditionally male

so they have two heads - the one they use to think with and the one which houses the brain.

Silicon can now reconfigure itself with just a jolt of electricity

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Or you could

Just use a FPGA.