* Posts by Aladdin Sane

2727 publicly visible posts • joined 20 Jun 2015

Early experiment in mass email ends with mad dash across office to unplug mail gateway

Aladdin Sane

Re: alert emails

I once wrote a SAS program that sent managers 1 email for every item of outstanding feedback for their minions, including those that had subsequently left the company. Some managers had 30+ emails come through. My response was that they should have delivered the feedback within 2 working days of it being logged (AKA doing their fucking job).

Aladdin Sane

It's funning listening to tourists (invariably left-pondians) trying to pronounce Worcestershire and Leicestershire.

Aladdin Sane

Re: I've seen and/or heard of many folks ...

Did you give the Sr. Sysadmin a finder's fee?

Aladdin Sane

Reminds me of the old website for finding a therapist.

Is it OK if we call $53bn-a-quarter Amazon the Bit Barns and Ignoble?

Aladdin Sane
Gimp

Re: don’t have to pee in a bottle

Unless that's their thing. Let's not kink shame anybody.

Aladdin Sane

Alexa

Would you like some toast? Some nice hot crisp brown buttered toast. No? How about a muffin then? Nothing? You know the last time you had toast. 18 days ago, 11.36, Tuesday 3rd, two rounds. I mean, what's the point in buying a toaster with artificial intelligence if you don't like toast. I mean, this is my job. This is cruel, just cruel.

BBC websites down tools and head outside into the sun for a while

Aladdin Sane

Re: Test cards

It's a God-awful small affair.

Aladdin Sane

I blame brexit for this.

Sen. Ron Wyden: Adobe Flash is doomed, why is Uncle Sam still using it?

Aladdin Sane

Re: Just as long as they leave me my Santa-tracker

It would appear that The Grinch has at least 2 accounts.

You can take off the shades, squinting Outlook.com users. It has gone dark. Very dark

Aladdin Sane

Hey

Who turned out the lights?

From toothbrushes to coffee makers to computers: Europe fines Asus, Pioneer, Philips for rigging prices of kit

Aladdin Sane

Re: ?WTF?

Look at Burberry's recent bonfire.

Sorry, Neil Armstrong. Boffins say you may not have been first life-form to set foot on the Moon

Aladdin Sane

Re: That means you heard it before it was released

Or people don't get rid of them.

I predict a riot: Amazon UK chief foresees 'civil unrest' for no-deal Brexit

Aladdin Sane

Re: re:- We Brits don't do civil unrest.

You must build your House of Parliament on the river: so... that the populace cannot exact their demands by sitting down round you.

Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington

Aladdin Sane

I have the solution for the negotiations.

Brockian Ultra-Cricket.

Insecure web still too prevalent: Boffins unveil HSTS wall of shame

Aladdin Sane
Facepalm

Advice from Aunty, regarding HTTP websites

From their own article:

To stay safe, pick a hard-to-guess password

Aladdin Sane

If Daily Fail started showing well-researched, unbiased stories, their "readership" certainly would notice. Those that can actually read and don't just look at the pictures that is.

On Android, US antitrust can go where nervous EU fears to tread

Aladdin Sane

Re: wait ..

Some nice digs at SW1A 1AA..

Engineers, coders – it's down to you to prevent AI being weaponised

Aladdin Sane

Re: Weaponised?

Also, the fact that humans are nasty, evil, vicious bastards. On a good day.

♫ The Core i9 clock cycles go up. Who cares where they come down?

Aladdin Sane

Re: Rusty1

Surely it should be measured in Hiltons?

You're burning £1.2bn for what? UK spending watchdog gives digital court plans a kicking

Aladdin Sane

Re: Future Crime...

You're assuming the current dystopia is ready for release, it's not even a beta product yet.

What if tech moguls brewed real ale?

Aladdin Sane

Re: Hipsters Nipple

Comes with a free bingo card.

Aladdin Sane

Head Crash, 8% ABV

You start off floating whilst everything spins, but end up invoking disaster recovery procedures.

Head Crash Premier has helium bubbles, for a lighter taste.

Boss helped sysadmin take down horrible client with swift kick to the nether regions

Aladdin Sane

Re: Jukebox

Easy there, Fonzie.

Aladdin Sane

Re: So long, Simon

Are we sure he's not the BOFH?

You wanna be an alpha... tester of The Register's redesign? Step this way

Aladdin Sane
Headmaster

Re: Less images on homepage

Fewer

Aladdin Sane

We need

A Sir Pterry icon.

#gnuterrypratchett

Aladdin Sane

I volunteer as tribute!

Fork it! Google fined €4.34bn over Android, has 90 days to behave

Aladdin Sane

Re: I'll still want a phone with Google's Android implementation.

That reason being: people are fucking stupid.

Official: The shape of the smartphone is changing forever

Aladdin Sane

Re: ...square screens?

Shitty colour choice is shitty.

Aladdin Sane

Re: Taller and narrower is good news

SWMBO wants to stick with Samsung.

Aladdin Sane

Soon they'll be googol powered.

Aladdin Sane

Re: Taller and narrower is good news

SWMBO is considering either an A8 or an S8 for personal use. Is the A8 actually any good?

People hate hot-desking. Google thinks they’ll love hot-Chromebooking

Aladdin Sane

If this becomes widespread

I think I'll buy shares in producers of hygienic laptop wipes.

Shouting lager, lager... Carlsberg's beer AI can now tell pilsners apart

Aladdin Sane

Re: Nooo

I Will Give Up My Beer When They Peel My Cold Drunken Fingers From Around It.

Sad Nav: How a cheap GPS spoofer gizmo can tell drivers to get lost

Aladdin Sane
Alien

Re: The Rout of Civilisation

The massacre of mankind.

Aladdin Sane

Re: James Bond had one of these

It did give us Teri Hatcher as a Bond girl, so, y'know, swings and roundabouts.

Gov.UK to make its lovely HTML exportable as parlous PDFs

Aladdin Sane

"But we've always done it this way"

When "This way" happens to be fucking shit and no longer fit for purpose.

It walks, it talks, it falls over a bit. Windows 10 is three years old

Aladdin Sane

Re: Not since 1998...

seems at least as stable as previous versions

Damning with faint praise.

Aladdin Sane

Re: "the Windows 7 hold-outs should finally feel able to make the upgrade"

time to step into the wonderful of world of Linux

No, seriously, why are you holding your phone like that?

Aladdin Sane

Re: addressing the communion plate.

You're lucky scarring was all the Catholic church did to you as a child.

Tech support chap given no training or briefing before jobs, which is why he was arrested

Aladdin Sane
Coat

Training?

Is that related to all the cloudy articles?

Dudes. Blockchain. In a phone. It's gonna smash the 'commoditization of humanity' or something

Aladdin Sane

Re: Dudes. Blockchain.

Google* is a thing.

*Other search engines are available.

Aladdin Sane

Anybody who has an MDiv is full of shit. A VC with one is a hypocrite that's full of shit. Unless, of course, they've since become apostates.

BT's Patterson keeps his £1.3m wheelbarrow of bonus cash after all

Aladdin Sane

Down with this sort of thing.

UK privacy watchdog to fine Facebook 18 mins of profit (£500,000) for Cambridge Analytica

Aladdin Sane

Re: Max Fine

Because the lawmakers couldn't conceive of social media platforms existing when the law was drafted.

Aladdin Sane
Headmaster

Re: Income Vs Profit

Net income is synonymous with profit before tax(es). If they'd used revenue then you'd be correct with your pedantry.

Former wig-wearing Twitterphobe replaces Hancock as UK.gov's Secretary of Fun

Aladdin Sane
Trollface

Re: Brexiteers jump ship

Not Clarkson?

Leatherbound analogue password manager: For the hipster who doesn't mind losing everything

Aladdin Sane

Re: What can you trust?

Did it include all the usernames and passwords that should not be given to your wife?

Open plan offices flop – you talk less, IM more, if forced to flee a cubicle

Aladdin Sane

Re: Hard to Hear

You should get better headphones - mine go all the way to 11.

Yes, Assange, we'll still nick you for skipping bail, rules court

Aladdin Sane

Re: Schrödinger's Embassy

He hasn't been locked up. He's free to leave the embassy at any time. He's just too much of a pussy to face the consequences of his actions.