Posts by hatti

RIP

I hope it was quick and painless, thoughts are with the families.

DIdo

Where's Dido Harding when you need her?

Tentacles

Definitely tentacle tracks, not long now until we see a sucker mark.

All well and good until the seal of approvals A.I. fancies a fish supper

Very sensible indeed

I thinks it's a very sensible idea to ban cake from the workplace, it's very important to maintain a clean working environment especially with IT gagdets and gizmos and I suspect the same applies to scientific laboratory settings where cleanliness will impact the outcome of experimentation.

Oooh look! Emma from accounts has just brought in doughnuts (om nom nom !!!!!)

"I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that."

Element 5

Corben Dallas will be very pleased I'm sure, big bada boom.

Phew !! close one.

Prime delivery

Can he not just order the masts off Amazon and get them delivered to an address the other side of the bridge? Surely he has Prime membership.

Unexpected item in bagging area

Possibly caused by the large transaction to NATO

Selected savoury products

Personally, I wouldn't budge for an Aldi sausage, cooked or uncooked. Waitrose on the other hand, might initiate motion.

Thats all good but..

What if controlling microbial ink is like herding cats?

Increase in wind speed

The increase in wind speed is due to an increase in tentacled clientele at the Europa Io tandoori and their new chefs delightful dishes.

The MoD added that £6bn is due to be spent on military R&D over the next four years and that it hopes current projects will be in the practical testing phase "from 2023 to 2025".

There must be a light sabre in there somewhere, pleeeease.

Spiny-cheeked crayfish coming over here, stealing all our streams

Perhaps a transfusion for the park with water that has a lower flash point

In a statement provided to El Reg, an ICO spokesperson said: “This payment is currently subject to an internal investigation.

= We are eating all the chocs

Consultancy and guns, what could possibly go wrong?

An empty skips or quavers packet will be found mark my words

The mile high club is so last decade.

Just saying

Lycra and beer bellies do not a good combination make

Ice Cream tub

I didn't realise Lego curator was an actual job, I thought it was just like playing with Lego but not actually sticking the bricks together, it's amazing what you learn on el Reg. I hope they used upcycled ice cream tubs for the sorting as per regulation Lego play.

Confused

But I thought Sophie O'Sullivan was head of marketing though, I could be wrong.

Perhaps the excel spreadsheet would get heavier when all the data is added, either way it'll never fly.

Staying alive could be a viable workaround

No more tween anims then

It's well known that fatberg size can be measured in Kiloglobules squared

1 globule unit = 1 big mac

Better done by care-bots

Hello Dave, it looks like you shat yourself again, would you like me to change you?

The A Team

Sounds like a job for Dido Harding ( cough - Talk Talk - cough )

Pron

No m'lud, I wasn't watching pron, I was training my AI system.

It's a dirty job, but someone's got to do it.

Good but...

Auto hoovers give me cause for concern, a meat based operative has the faculty to determine whether an object is to be sucked up or not. That all important missing pc screw or ear ring is cause to turn off suction mode temporarily to retrieve the errant item.

I'm fearful that although these are keenly priced, they could lead to the cats disappearance with that much suction.

Great device, has notes of Ripley at the end of Alien 2 when shes's battling that big mo fo alien

Cuffed

I expect once the offender is reprimanded, he'll be in for a stiff sentence

Old school

I remember installing software from a Cd-rom on my computer, how quaint

It may be stretchy, but

Lycra and beer bellies are definitely filed under 'sportswear fails'

Beanz meanz heinz

All this started with two empty baked bean cans and some string, look at the mess it's got us into.

Thinking of Mars Attacks

We come in peace.

BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!

not enough space

Should the title not read, a week in spaaaaaace?

Snafu

Get ready for the "only a handful of customers appear to have been compromised" corporate statement

Longer preferable

Shorter telomeres are the bain of my life

That's not a hole, it's a space station

An ethics board surely would need a spread of opinions to be fully representative, not just cosy viewpoints that has the board reaching for their teddies else the whole process of selecting an ethics board would be entirely impossible.

It sniff wasn't sniff me sniff guv!

Like a high altitude etch-a-sketch

Bell

Perhaps a statue of Guy Stevens made from the molten end of an old town bell would be more relevant

Bad toothy peg

Perhaps leaking national security information was not such a great idea after all. Methinks the UK gov are trying the softly, softly catchee Jules rendition approach.