915 posts • joined 12 Dec 2014
Re: Just the Usual...
A local VIP spilled coffee on his laptop, and when I opened it up to take a look, it had all turned into beer.
Truly, the Lord works in mysterious ways.
Re: Leaking barium enemas
But is it true that a barium meal is difficult to flush?
A colleague of mine swears that after he'd had his scan and been to the loo, the stuff just pooled up at the bottom of the pan, all dense and heavy, and refused to budge. Yuk.
Shouldn't it be called Planet IX now that Pluto's been demoted?
I hope this didn't cost too much...
Ask any prison officer where any such money could best spent. I don't think this would feature on many of their wish-lists.
Re: No Brainer
IIRC - That'd be Tom Dick & Sally, The Three Bears & the 2nd page of Dennis the Menace.
Re: Unplugging the keyboard = kernel panic ?
Just a few days into my first proper job the unix sysadmin wanted to show off the insides of the shiny new Ultrix mainframe to me.
Unfortunately, removing the backplate caused an instant loss of power. Oops.
I learned a lot of lessons that week...
Garbage collection – in SPAAACE: Net snaffles junk in first step to clean up Earth's orbiting litter
Re: Partial solution
Nets are so indiscriminate.
We'll probably end up snagging some unfortunate space dolphins.
I've got the answer
First, we need a great big melting pot, big enough to take the world and all its got...
"Most hospitals won't even confirm receipt of a fax. If you're trying to refer a patient, that's dangerous."
Been a victim of this myself, 5 years ago. Couldn't believe that a) they were still using (and relying on) faxes and b) that there was no checking whatsoever that the fax had been received. No formal handover of the patient's notes at all.
I eventually got my heart scan months later after a second, successful, referral attempt (which only happened after I actively chased it down) and it came back good news. It still concerns me now that others may not have been so lucky, and for such a stupid reason.
Re: "Snoopy characters"
Some ensemble or supporting characters sometimes just stand out and become the star, regardless of the creator's intentions:
To name but a few.
Sleep Mode - Biting users in the backside since it's inception.
Nah - I think it says
I wonder what's written on the next fragment?
I came here to post that we really need a "Fuck Right Off" icon. But I'll settle for plain old "Fuck Off" at a pinch.
My house isn't even on mains gas, but I'm sure they'll still manage to fuck it up for me somehow.
Re: Send NASA to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave
"if all else fails, hit it with a big hammer"
In that one particular case I'd recommend the use of Maxwell's Silver Hammer*
(* Not to be confused with "Hammers" - A genuine medical technique for curing all sorts of ailments)
Neutron star crash in a galaxy far, far... far away spews 'faster than light' radio signal jets at Earth
Re: Hope it's true
"because energy applied to them just makes them heavier"
Very true, and succinctly explains why objects with mass can never be accelerated past light speed.
But I do remember reading aeons ago though that, according to the maths anyway, this wouldn't pose a problem to objects already travelling faster than light.
OK, so I'm nitpicking. But did anything ever come of this line of enquiry? Could such particles exist in the real world?
But which Time will be revealed?
Tiny-tots' tea-time toy-time Time?
What is it with your bottom-fixation?
Maybe they did... Are your face and arms covered in biro marks?
It's hard not to notice a bcc blunder. It can be less clear if you've been the victim of a hacker / cyber break-in, especially if the miscreant is trying to cover their tracks.
I wonder how many such intrusions simply go undetected?
"the geometry near massive objects is not Euclidean"
Ok, I'll bite.
The bending of space/time means that space is "non-Euclidian" everywhere, but the effects are more noticeable closer to massive objects, and as close-to-negligible-as-makes-no-difference away from them.
There's no contradiction. The same effect is happening everywhere. It's just hard to observe or measure in most places.
Re: Re : Indiana Jones...
If I remember my RE correctly - The Ark had holes for inserting special poles for carrying it around.
Maybe you could just pop your nob into one of those instead?
STI Journalistic Potential Exhibit A:)
"before your todger starts acting like it just saw the Ark of the Covenant"
Sheesh - some people are difficult to please.
"enabling the owner to ... turn the plugs on and off with a smartphone or PC"
Shoot me now. Please, someone. Just end it before it gets any worse.
Re: "responded to a phishing email"...
Does it really matter...
Clicking on a polluted link is one level of stupid.
Going to the trouble of collating lots of personal info and blindly sending it to an organisation that, when you think about, has no actual need or right to it anyway, is bordering on the fucking criminal.
It may not "matter" as such, but I'd certainly be interested to know.
"responded to a phishing email"...
Clarification please - Did some numpty actually send the personal details of 34,000 people to someone outside the company in response to a phishing email, or did they just activate some malware by clicking-on-the-link?
Dragged out by the fuzz?
They cracked this in the 70's
..with the Harrington 1200.
You've probably never seen one, they are very expensive.
Anhitnyg taht mkeas tnpiyg on ym milboe esiear snuods geart it me.
Re: something that would be quite disorienting
Are words "real"?
Re: Big Red Buttons are irresistible!
"Vas Corp Kal"?
Re: Can't feel too upset about this
Cheats cheat in games because they need to feel and be seen as superior to the "losers".
Fair play, it seems, is not without a sense of irony.
"Because it's pointless..."
Not from a marketing perspective, it's not. It's a design feature that's also a fad, and hence will date very quickly.
And in the fickle world of phone-fashion, that means lots of users will "need" to replace their crappy old Notch phones with newer, more modern-looking models.
Remember when all car ads from the 90's were the same? Just a long list of the optional features, that all the competitors also had? Air con! Central locking! Power steering! Electric windows! Yawn*
We've definitely reached that point now with phones.
*(These persisted for far too long despite a spot-on piss-take, possibly voiced by Hugh Laurie. "It has windows you can see through, and Doors, so you can get in and out...")
"The crash has caused much soul-searching in the emerging self-driving industry"
Have they found one yet?
"Don't talk to the ATM..."
Does anyone else have to bite back the urge to say "Thank you" when taking their cash?
Re: False positives
"a group of people trained to evade ... detection"
You jest, but historically isn't this exactly how & why some Martial Arts came to be?
Hey - Martial Arts may have been outlawed, but no-one said anything about not learning to "dance".
So it can correctly identify 5 out of 6 hostile actions, but a more important statistic surely would be how many false-positives this system throws up.
I could easily build a system with the same success rate, but that also identified 5 out of 6 regular actions as hostile...
Re: Stalker's wet dream
A panther that is positively pink? Think!
(Confession: For years I had no idea what they meant by "One hand only, truly original".)
I'm curious - What do these devices do if they lose sight of said vehicle, and are also out of range of the controller?
Do they just keep on going? Try to return to default location? Or what?
I've got the Looney Tunes theme stuck in my head now
Thanks for that, El Reg.
Apparently a toaster-oven is a thing. I had to Google exactly what though.
About the size of a microwave, give or take.
<edit> oven, not electromagnetic radiation...
"...an automatic deletion process – which happens for DNA..."
Really? The DNA situation used to be just as bad until nit all that long ago. When did things change?
Did you also ask them whether the indicators could be enabled?
Re: Really? This is bizarre.
When I visit, I use my credit card on the London tube. It works like a charm.
Re: We need some ...
Yes - I saw simlar pictoral "No squatting" signs there 20 years ago.
I very nearly liberated one for a souvenir, but figured it might be a bit too - erm - contaminated. Euwww.
Re: We need some ...
Regardless of your opinion of Mr Dyson, the guy sure knows how to fold cardboard.
The therapeutic effects of deconstructing the packaging of one of his ball-hoover-thingummies shouldn't be underestimated.
I swear someone at his company must be a 10th Dan origami Zen grandmaster.
Re: Did I read that right...
I already don't trust my kettle. It's already figured out how to switch itself off. What will it do next?
Maybe I should hide the knife block.
Re: DRAMATIC MUSIC!!!
@MB - Let me guess - I bet you preferred Airwolf to Blue Thunder...?