Posts by macjules

Yeah, whatever will Apple do next? Make a mobile handset out of glass and then laugh at the cannon fodder consumers who buy it and wonder why it breaks?Or perhaps sell broken keyboards with $2500 laptops?

Re: Who would steal a bridge?

One with a beam?

Re: they've almost killed off all the "i"s

Don't you mean "he S dead and burried [sic]" ?

Re: Pay 30,000 cats...

Maybe it is already a spin-off game? “Kenshi: Cat Herder”

Re: airport security

I always used to travel with a Victorinox Swisscard. Unfortunately the sheer vindictiveness of UK airport security meant that a Pound Shop Hitler once decided that the 1" blade was a weapon and confiscated it. When I objected the same PSH decided that he was going to have my laptop bag scanned multiple times, in the hope that it might erase the hard drive.

Re: S.H.A.G.-13

That would be 40 minutes of, “Then Squirry the Squirrel went... neep, neep, neep!... and they all went home for tea."

Followed by 5 minutes of, “Now then, how much do you charge for a good hard shag?”

Re: What if...

Next up: Uber Tandem

Re: The process is the punishment

About a third of all UK males have a criminal conviction of some form or other.

That is an extremely unlikely statement. My guess would it would be more likely to be around 15% to 17% of the UK population as a whole, including "spent" convictions. That would fit with international averages for (western) European countries.

If .io is bad. then why not try Indian Ocean Territory as .iot - I bet there would be far more demand for that.

Re: Huawei

No, iPhone SE phones.

“Look , FREE beer!”

“Don’t drink it though as it is not free”

The early nineties Apple Extended Keyboard II was amazing - you could take it apart, wash it, let it dry and reassemble it and it would work like new.

Shame they forgot what their livestock consumers want.

Re: Recalcitrant doors

So every comment about shooting the doors off, blowing the doors off, bashing through the wall, à la Ripley in Alien Resurrection.

No mention of simply turn the water off?

Could have been worse

He might have tried to sell MySpace to Google.

Re: This will be fun to watch...

No, this will not be fun to watch. This is going to be like some horrendous, dramatic blending of The Bonfire of the Vanities and the worst of Roland Freisler.

Re: I recall...

I had a Dyane 6 for about 3 months, until I braked very hard going down Hampstead Hill ... and the engine sheered off its mountings and crashed through the radiator.

Motto: always check Citroën engine mountings before you buy.

Re: Recruiting part timers...

It would have cost the MoD around £1m for Capita to come up with that message.

Re: Well at least we don't have any Chinese nuclear reactors

Make sure you have stocked up on Mini Nukes.

Our systems detected the suspicious activities in time to prevent any major damage

If their systems can 'detect' suspicious activity then why didn't they stop it completely, not just ' in time to prevent any major damage'?

Re: Hot desking

You might be amazed to hear that the BBC does not grant you that space. Allocated space in the "Media Centre" is half what most of us would consider a normal desk. On the basis that all you need is enough space to work on your laptop. Of course I was only a mere contractor there .. I am sure that everyone else gets the full 2m of space.

Re: Too late...

https://www.theregister.co.uk/2019/05/04/tesla_nooky_video/

Re: ALL my calls from shouty men

The joys of dedicated, long-term government service:

1) Most senior civil servants become instant uncivil arseholes when there is a chance of blaming someone who is one or more grades below theirs.

2) The higher their grade the bigger and more important the IT problem is.

3) Likewise the requirement that you fix it NOW. Delivered in a calm and infinitely nasty manner.

The third most memorably on a date forever emblazoned into my mind: 16th October 1987 ("not a hurricane") where I had to struggle across London at 6am to 'rescue' an IT system which had experienced a power failure. It was not sufficient to mention that nearly all of London had no power either.

It helps to remain quiet and to have a boss who is way senior than any of them, has almost direct control of their budgets and can inflict considerable damage upon their long-term career prospects, including their being dropped from consideration for the News Years/Birthday honours lists - something that matters a lot to UK public servants.

Re: One crime.

Well it does happen there quite a lot. And the screaming is not about overthrowing the government - more like "please don't hurt me any more".

Anyone who has watched Diehard 2 knows this.

Re: I blame decimalisation

Personally I blame the lack of pressgangs and the ban on flogging round the fleet, not that we have much of a fleet mind.

Things just have not been the same since Nelson died.