* Posts by macjules

3426 publicly visible posts • joined 7 Oct 2014

Londoner admits illegally accessing National Lottery accounts

macjules
Coat

Statistically speaking, his chances of a prison sentence are low.

So greater than the possibility of winning anything on the National Lottery?

Revealed: NHS England bosses meet with tech and pharmaceutical giants to discuss price list of millions of Brits' medical data

macjules

Re: Private records

Thanks. Did not know that.

macjules

Re: Dido Harding...

'resurfaced', like bad broccoli making a late, unwanted reappearance.

macjules
Black Helicopters

This week I was advised to take out a 'Keyman' insurance package, since I now employ more than 5 staff, and promptly received a call from Royal London quoting me £200 per month for a £1m policy. What concerned me was the claim that they did not need my medical history from me, saying rather blatantly that they can get it direct from the NHS. They telephoned last night to go through a very detailed medical history that they had presumably got from NHS England, including an operation carried out some years ago via BUPA, which didn't even go via my GP.

HPE to Mike Lynch: You told either El Reg or High Court the right version of why former Autonomy execs won't testify

macjules

deliberately duped HP managers into buying Autonomy under false pretences

Bless. Xerox, please take note.

Hey Dixons, you know what's mobile? Your rapidly shrinking sales

macjules

Dixon Carphone?

We used to refer to the stereotypical 'yuppies' as Dicks On Their Carphone.

Apple tipped to go full wireless by 2021, and you're all still grumbling about a headphone jack

macjules

Re: Yes, of course

An AppleCar will not come with wheels, or seats and will require you to control it from the iCar app. Of course being made out of glass it will require AppleCare cover and will require you to make a GeniusBar appointment for servicing, MoT or updates.

Prices will start at $100,000 for the basic model and each wheel will retail at $5,000. Seats range from the basic rubbery substance that they use for the AppleWatch through to fine leather carefully flayed from the backs of volunteer fanbois.

macjules
Gimp

Hooray for wireless charging!

Now we can charge you £250 for the earphones and no doubt another £250 for the charger. All this on top of £1500 for the phone. Oh, and we're making it with extra thin glass and doubling the AppleCare fee.

My God how the money rolls in ..

Capita lights One Revenues and Benefits bug bonfire: ALL reports older than 12 months to be ignored

macjules
Unhappy

The software bugs are not permanently deleted. Clients will be able to view them on a shared platform and they can be re-opened at any time.

Presumably they mean that Jira access to the bug will remain and that the client will (for an extortionate fee) continue to have access to the project. Will the client be able to track progress of a bug that they re-open or will this go into an issue backlog and then be forgotten after another 12 months, which tends to be normal Capita behaviour?

How much cheese does one person need to grate? Mac Pro pricing unveiled

macjules

Re: Drop the wheels

Ah, but is it £360 per wheel? I think we should be told.

Another senior Gov.UK bod makes a dash from public sector, falls into AWS's arms

macjules

Not at all involved

In her new role Holly will not be involved in any activity that would breach her obligations under the Civil Service's Business Appointment Rules.

Of course she won't. And those ACoBA members obviously do not include political party nominees and independent members appointed by the Prime Minister, do they? Jenny Arcuri says they don't and she would know ...

Beware of bad Santas this Xmas: Piles of insecure smart toys fill retailers' shelves

macjules

Re: X-mas

I’d be more concerned about requests for TSB bank accounts than for gadgets or toys.

By the way, I would love to see the NCC pentest report on both Co-op and TSB, especially the bits saying “passes tests”.

Alleged Nigerian social engineer wins free flight to the US for business email fraud and love scams

macjules

Re: So it's a rare thumbs up for the wheels of justice

Of course they didn't actually have to extradite him.

"Most excellency President of the USA Donald Trump finds that he has been given $15 billion and needs someone to help disburse it. If you are accepting his offer we will fly you to the USA".

Always get one who will fall for it.

And then there were two: HMS Prince of Wales joins Royal Navy

macjules

Thank you. Accurate and informed comment.

Brewing in spaaaaace: SpaceX sends a malting kit to the International Space Station

macjules

Re: Prelude to Mars

Christ, 2 years of canoe sex beer. No thanks.

macjules

Re: Prelude to Mars

The chances of any decent beer coming from Mars are a million to one.

I'll take your frame to another dimension, pay close attention: This AI auto-generates 3D objects from 2D snaps

macjules

Re: So what you're basically saying is...

Shh. Facebook is listening.

Co-op Bank online and mobile banking goes TITSUP*

macjules

TITSUP?

One might recall former CEO Paul "The Crystal Methodist" employing rentboys to sniff cocaine off his nipples .. hence I would be wary of the use of TITSUP.

Ericsson throws $1bn at US authorities to make bribery probe go away

macjules

The EU tends to fine US "social" media giants in the billions for their various nefarious acts so I suppose the US courts/DoJ feel justified in reciprocating.

macjules

If you want a NASDAQ listing then I'm afraid that your conduct is indeed subject to US law enforcement.

Ad network ransomware crook to flog £5k Rolex after court confiscates £270k in ill-gotten gains

macjules

Re: If he's angry over losing the money...

"Zain Qaiser, 25, formerly of Barking in Essex (FTFY) and now of HMP Much Hadham" I presume?

Worldwide, perpetual, irrevocable and royalty-free: Amazon's Alexa NHS contract released

macjules
Childcatcher

Re: Wait and see

""No patient data is being provided to this company by the NHS, which takes data privacy extremely seriously and has put appropriate safeguards in place to ensure information is used correctly."

This means "We already sold off your data to Amazon. Kindly put any complaints in triplicate to the ICO and we'll look at their submission in 5 years time."

Remember the Dutch kid who stuck his finger in a dam to save the village? Here's the IT equivalent

macjules

I think that someone actually posted that story on here as a WhoMe?

macjules

Re: Wrong Buttons...

I most certainly feel your pain. In the past I have had to undertake overnight flights at a half-hour's notice simply because someone could not be bothered to read 10 lines of type that I had sellotaped on the lid of their new laptop with the first line as "You will not be able to operate this computer unless you read this message".

Horse .. meet water .. now drink.

Two can play that game: China orders ban on US computers and software

macjules

Re: Typical Chinese

"The Great Stable Genius"

Is that because he is so used to closing the legal doors once the whores have bolted?

Metasploit for drones? Best of luck with that, muses veteran tinkerer

macjules
Unhappy

with plans to include radio-controlled drones and eventually "more complex" craft

"Are you sure you want to launch all the Hellfire missiles? Y/N"

"Y"

"Wouldn't you prefer a nice game of chess?"

Behuld – zee-a internet ouff tuilet tissuoe at Meecrusufft Sveden. Bork bork bork!

macjules
Facepalm

Børk, børk børk?

Surely you mean Bjørk, bjørk, bjørk?

Oh wait, she's from Iceland.

macjules

Re: I'm sorry

Don't.

I am dreading the day that Sainsburys, Tesco et al use AFR and their checkout machine loudly declaims, "Sorry, you have drunk too much already and have exceeded your alcohol unit allowance". This would be where AI and me diverge quite quickly.

Forget sharks with lasers, NASA kits out an elephant seal with a sensor-studded skullcap

macjules

Re: Caption seems inaccurate, based on the expression

The other seals think he has joined the foil hat brigade.

Elon Musk gets thumbs up from jury for use of 'pedo guy' in cave diver defamation lawsuit

macjules

Pedo-guy?

Could El Reg now substitute 'Pedo Guy' for 'Musk' in every article that mentions him? I only suggest that since I have always found him to be rather sinister and creepy.

Samsung Galaxy S11 tipped to escalate the phone cam arms race with 108MP sensor

macjules

None of the above

Nah. I’m sticking with my Escobar Phone thanks. Comes with hot and cold running Russian hookers and all the marching powder one can sniff, and all for under $350. Sorry Apple and Samsung, but you do not even come close.

BOFH: I'd like introduce you to a groovy little web log I call 'That's Boss'

macjules

Re: Ooohhh ! We're back to sneakily dreadful.

Defenestration is the act of being thrown out of a window. A ‘data normalisation warning’ is when Windows throws you out.

Mayday in Moscow as devs will be Russian to Putin mandatory apps on phones, laptops, TVs

macjules

Re: I don't think Apple will care

There are plenty of Apple stores in Russia. They just sell apples: not dodgy computers and phones that lock up and steal all your data.

macjules
Coat

Re: New Voice APP

Vlad visits the UK to check his bank account for a summit.

Border Agency: "Occupation?"

Vlad: "Not today comrade, perhaps next time"

Escobar Fold 1 snort all it's cracked up to be: Readers finger similarity to slated Chinese mobe

macjules

Re: Escobar Inc

It is astounding that such a family of criminals can openly deal on the international market without any backlash.

But enough about the makers of the phone’s OS ..,

macjules

That’s all right, there are fully naked models on there as well, as well as models biting on the phone while being threatened with hand guns.

This could well be a new way to sell iPhones: I can just see the Apple ads now.

macjules
Coat

cutting out the middleman

Has a slightly different meaning in the world of cartels and trafficking ..

(Mine's the one with the 1Kg white "phone box" inside)

You looking for an AI project? You love Lego? Look no further than this Reg reader's machine-learning Lego sorter

macjules
Unhappy

Re: A "lifelong dream"...

Or sat on a rather pointed bit ..

Take Sajid Javid's comments on IR35 UK contractor rules with a bucket of salt, warns tax guru

macjules
Thumb Down

Unfortunately it is not really about the 'contractors' in an IT sense. IR35 was introduced into law in 2000 by Gordon Brown to counter 'tax avoidance' by the use of so-called "personal service companies", specifically highly paid BBC presenters who were advised by the BBC to use PSC. It is alleged that this was to help the BBC avoid paying the Employer NIC contribution on their earnings.

By the way, there is still no definition in HMRC of what a PSC actually is - one of the many problems of this incredibly badly thought out 'tax and grab' legislation.

macjules

Yep. When did any party/government ever undo the tax implementations of their predecessor?

In other news CAA announces a new test for owners of drones, unicorns and owners of more than one flying porcine unit.

We took a shot every time Qualcomm said 5G, AI or mobile gaming in its Snapdragon 865, 765 system-on-chip launch...

macjules
Holmes

Put me up in a 5 star hotel in Hawaii with an unlimited bar bill and I would certainly never be influenced. Not a bit. Never.

Pablo Escobar's brother is Medellín in the foldable phone biz, sniffing out new markets

macjules
Coat

It's certainly not to be sniffed at.

HPE planning to turn balancing on-premises and cloud environments into point-and-click adventures

macjules
Unhappy

How long before ..

.. GreenLake Central does not make money and HPE start imagining that they overpaid for it?

EU wouldn't! Uncle Sam brandishes 'up to 100%' tariffs over France's Digital Services Tax

macjules
Paris Hilton

Re: Wrong argument

Personally I would like to see the entire FATIMA* tax evasion system put to the magnifying glass. It is well beyond time that HMRC descended en masse on Stockley Park (Apple) and fhe various UK offices of the others.

*Facebook, Apple, Twitter, Intel, Microsoft, Alphabet (Google).

Let's learn from drone cockups: Confidential reports service opens up to unmanned fliers

macjules
WTF?

A drone is not just for Christmas ..

Just got referred to the https://register-drones.caa.co.uk site for an Operator ID and a bit confused about this. The site states that "You must be at least 18 years old to get an operator ID. You must be at least 13 years old to get a flyer ID." yet defines both as this:

You both fly and are responsible for them = flyer ID and operator ID @ £9 charge

You just fly other people's = flyer ID @ no charge

You’re only responsible and do not fly = operator ID @£9

Does this mean that you can own a drone and not fly it but you must be 18+ or own and fly it and be 13+. If I buy a drone for someone under 18, do they then become the operator, as the 'owner' and not the 'flyer'?

I hope to God there are clearer guidelines for commercial jet pilots.

Bad news: A company wants to sell artificial shooting stars. Good news: Launch delayed

macjules

Re: Bad news: A company wants to sell artificial shooting stars.

Oh dear, there are at least 3 Kardashian fans who can read.

Apple completes $1bn amputation of Intel's 5G modem biz, Chipzilla out of mobiles for good

macjules

Should have sold to HPE

Then they would have got far more than they wanted, and in a few years time HPE might sue them to get the money back.

Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat, so the EU is investigating Google to get some more money in its hat

macjules
Big Brother

Wonder where I heard that before?

We use data to make our services more useful and to show relevant advertising, and we give people the controls to manage, delete or transfer their data,

Ah yes, Facebook, Twitter et al, "where you are always in control of your own data".

US Embassy in London files extradition request for ex-Autonomy boss over HPE fraud charges

macjules

Perhaps HPE have retained Anne Sacoolas as an advisor?

"Just snatch him off the street and say sorry to the Brits when they complain"