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* Posts by macjules

1352 posts • joined 7 Oct 2014

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Microsoft Azure Europe embraced the other GDPR: Generally Down, Possibly Recovering

macjules
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Re: Microsoft: 9 myths about moving to the cloud

"Fact: Office 365 cuts down hardware and upgrades your headaches"

FTFY

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macjules
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Re: Magic Rituals

Engineers addressed the temperature issue, and performed a structured recovery of the affected devices and the affected downstream services.

Translation:

"We unfortunately re-arranged the server stacks into a pattern which very closely resembled the dread sigil Odegra. After realising this and and recording temperatures of extreme cold and heat at the same time we made a decision to switch off the power. Unfortunately every website hosted in the North Europe zone will now be displaying 'Hail the Great Beast, destroyer of worlds!'.

Microsoft apologise for any inconvenience caused"

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National ID cards might not mean much when up against incompetence of the UK Home Office

macjules
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But you are aware, I trust, that the Home Office already has sufficient information about you to be able to produce your ID card without your approval?

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Capita admits it won't make money on botched NHS England contract

macjules
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Re: Their Business Model

Lewis, meanwhile, emphasised that the firm had invested £125m in the work, which with added loss margins would be closer to £140m – money it did not expect to make back.

How about this response from a PAC member, "Thank you Mr Lewis for taking such a loss. Can you please now provide audited accounts to prove that you have invested £125m in the work?"

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AI military upstart attacked by Russian malware, Twitter fires up TensorFlow, and more

macjules
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Watsoff?

“Last month, IBM Watson Health had to lay off employees from Explorys, Phytel and Truven,“

I wonder how soon it will be before IBM move into the beer business and then try to hold an annual employee party in one of their breweries.

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Unbreakable smart lock devastated to discover screwdrivers exist

macjules
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Re: Oh my!

Haha! Tapplock have now ‘adjusted’ their website to include:

“Share smartphone access remotely with unlimited users. Set permanent access or limited access with flexible dates and times, and feel free to revoke access whenever you want. Track and monitor access history with time and location from the Tapplock app.”

Stable door ... bolting horse...

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BOFH: Got that syncing feeling, hm? I've looked at your computer and the Outlook isn't great

macjules
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Just bloody lazy. I found the windows one just now - a box I set up 2 years ago as a home media server but never used and the Ubuntu minis are in the garage. One was a TeamPass I set up and the other is a Zabbix monitor I used to use. None important, so all now unplugged.

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macjules
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Know the feeling. I am pretty sure I have 3 computers networked into my house somewhere that I am unable to physically locate. I can ping them, ssh into 2 of them and RDP into the third. I’m just buggered if I know where they actually are.

Must start pulling every cable out of the core router and see what happens.

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Swiss cops will 'tolerate' World Cup rabble-rousers – for 60 minutes

macjules
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Japanese Rugby

while Japan (a nation with no real rugby reputation in the northern hemisphere)

That is most unfair. The Japanese have a long tradition of rugby, almost as old as Britain’s, and are pretty good at it. IIRC the Brave Blossoms thrashed Wales a few years ago (2013) 23-8 and even beat South Africa.

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Meet the Frenchman masterminding a Google-free Android

macjules
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Me too.

(Looking forward to one day seeing EELO iPhone as well)

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Tech firms, come to Blighty! Everything is brill! Brexit schmexit, Galileo schmalileo

macjules
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Re: Hmm

Augmented Reality:

"These are not deserted factories, formerly occupied by Mercedes, Peugeot or BMW: these are thriving technology incubators simply waiting for the occupants to arrive."

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UK.gov online dating tips: Do get consent, don't make false claims or fake profiles

macjules
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Joke

Re: George Lusty - talking about dating?

Surely all Venntro Media Group has to do is to stick any promise or claim on the side of a bus .. seems to work for politicians ok.

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UK digital secretary throws cold water over bid for laws on kids' use of social media

macjules
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Isn't locating your offspring the whole point of "find my iphone"?

To my certain knowledge I don't need 'Find my iPhone' inside my own home. An app called "Find and Tell my Teenager to do the effing washing up" might be different.

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macjules
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My 3 are always online. The difference is that they understand where not to go, who not to speak to and when in any doubt to call mum or dad who will drop everything and help them. Oh, and they all have iPhones as all they have to do is call/text and say “please get me home”.

Children tend to have far more common sense than adults these days in matters internet, especially it would seem ‘digital ministers’.

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Tech rookie put decimal point in wrong place, cost insurer zillions

macjules
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Re: Lloyds

As I recall Lloyds did not change from a punch card-based system until 1990. There used to be a saying that there were 3 visible man-made things from space, The Great Wall of China, the Hole at Kimberley and the Lloyds of London paper mountain.

The excuse was always that due to the sheer volume of trade there would never be the opportunity to switch off one system and switch over to a new system.

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Don’t talk to the ATM, young man, it’s just a machine and there’s nobody inside

macjules
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Re: Ah FUBAR

In the Civil Service we used to classify as Khaleef, Keep Him Away: Likely to Erase Every Fing.

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Russia appears to be 'live testing' cyber attacks – Former UK spy boss Robert Hannigan

macjules
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Re: More FUD

You are Nigel Farage obo Vladimir Putin and I claim my free subscription to Russia Toady [sic]

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In defence of online ads: The 'net ain't free and you ain't paying

macjules
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Happy

Re: World Gin Day

Monday 11th is World Rosé Wine day.

I shall partake.

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The hits keep coming for Facebook: Web giant made 14m people's private posts public

macjules
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Re: "A social media platform isn't just for college, it's for life."

Dunno if its the fringe or not, but there is definitely something of the Teletubby about Zuck. I think he might be slowly metamorphosing into Tinky Winky.

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PETA calls for fish friendly Swedish street signage

macjules
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So is anyone from Fishguard automatically a friend of PETA (Pristiophoridae Eating Tasty Anthropoids)?

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Britain's new F-35s arrive in UK as US.gov auditor sounds reliability warning klaxon

macjules
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Re: The real Lightning

What I am saving up for - a trip to Cape Town to 'go vertical' in an EE Lightning. I would image that the F-35 would still be working out how to take off while it's namesake is already at 60,000ft.

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1,300 customers of Brit bank TSB defrauded due to botched IT migration

macjules
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Re: Truly Shambolic Bank

And it has IT in it.

Which is more than TSB seems to have. Didn't they used to be known as, "The Bank That Likes To Say Yes"?

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UK's first transatlantic F-35 delivery flight delayed by weather

macjules
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Paris Hilton

Re: Alternatives

Paris has a better record at crossing the Atlantic and lowering her undercarriage than an F-35

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Uh oh! Here's yet more AI that creates creepy fake talking heads

macjules
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Re: Looks like Facebook's AI attempts need some improvement...

Wait for it: “Steve Jobs did not die. Unfortunately his condition is such that he must remain incommunicado (not a Mexican town btw) but he will attend next years WWDC via video link.”

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Apple WWDC: There's no way iOS and macOS will fully merge as one

macjules
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Re: Walled Gardens

or a frigging Apple TV! Whose brilliant idea was that?

Shh, that was Steve Jobs' very last brainchild

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Microsoft commits: We're buying GitHub for $7.5 beeeeeeellion

macjules
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Re: Shite

This is MSFT. If they were called Dyson we could at least say they make a product that does not suck.

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macjules
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Re: Shite

Added support with Skype? A way to actually link a proper CI process to Azure?

The possibilities are endless ..

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Uber 'does not exist any more' says Turkish president

macjules
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Re: NYC medallions

I once got an Uber with a driver called Chris Dibbler. I did not ask him how he managed to make ends meat.

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'Moore's Revenge' is upon us and will make the world weird

macjules
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Re: "chips in general are now cheap"

Thank God. I thought they might be talking about the revenge of Michael Moore.

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Did you test that? No, I thought you tested it. Now customers have it and it doesn't work

macjules
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Re: Have you sent a dud product or program into the world?

I used to work in government. I think the question should be "Have you sent a product or program into the world that wasn't a dud?

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Help, I'm being held prisoner in a security camera testing factory. So please read this...

macjules
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Re: Unintended consequences

Actually the questions I have are

What is the nighttime picture quality like?

How far can you site the solar panel from the camera, for security reasons?

Is there a way to share the live feed to the police, for example?

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Experts build AI joke machine that's about as funny as an Adam Sandler movie (that bad)

macjules
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Re: I'm So Pleased That Brits Recognize Adam Sandler Has Not Talent

Ouch. Including Uwe Boll references is way below the belt. Poor Adam, I am sure he has never made a film based upon a B-rated computer game (but I did like the first Bloodrayne though).

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macjules
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Re: Start it off with an easier challenge

Yes, but re-runs of Monty Python might work for the UK and the USA markets and (surprisingly) for the Germans, but it is almost completely lost on much of the rest of the planet.

Then again, I am not at all sure what constitutes humour in Japan.

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Your F-35s need spare bits? Computer says we'll have you sorted in... a couple of years

macjules
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Re: We don' need no F-35

Well, the thing about money-laundering is that sooner or later you have so much freshly-laundered money that you are now a completely respectable, legal businessman and not at all someone who used to sell rubber ducks and retreaded tyres with a sideline in diverting large diesel shipments. When that happens you no longer need a football team in order to help wash your wealth.

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macjules
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We don' need no F-35

Given that we have most of the former Soviet Union's money in our corrupt money-laundering banks fine traditional banking institutions I doubt that the UK needs much of a defence force - we just have to suspend Mr Putin's debit card for a while.

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Britain mulls 'complete shutdown' of 4G net for emergency services

macjules
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Re: Still waiting

Just give every cop an iPhone X. Cost comes in at £1000 per unit. Saves poor bloody taxpayer £300 per annum. Apple is happy. Police are happy (until the screens break). Home Secretary [insert name here] is happy.

There, FTFY.

Oh and by the way, what happens when you need to switch off the entire 4G network because of another 7/7 incident?

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SpamCannibal blacklist service reanimated by squatters, claims every IP address is spammy

macjules
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And worse ..

Use BriefYourMarket.com’s database of 20 million+ UK households to digitally filter through streets, postcodes and areas to find more of the same. Slice and dice by gender, tax band or lifestyle – and then when you’ve found the perfect list - send them personalised marketing collateral to their door in a few clicks. The data is yours to keep and because it’s all part of BriefYourMarket.com, when they make that sale, you already know all you need to keep your relationship going. Meet BriefYourMarket.com data – the secret to hot prospects.

Once a client registers a mailing list with BYM they then use the customer data in that list to extend their own database. Unsubscribing from one, for example Dauntons "GDPR compliance" (yeeaaah, riiight) only serves to act as a positive for BYM.

This is pretty much as good an example of GDPR breach as I have seen so far.

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GCHQ bod tells privacy advocates: Most of our work is making sure we operate within the law

macjules
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Re: must be an error

Have an upvote.

Or:

"The biggest amount of work we do at GCHQ is to make sure we operate within the law, The second biggest amount of work we do at GCHQ is to make sure we never get caught breaking the law."

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Beardy Branson: Wacky hyperloop tube maglev cheaper than railways

macjules
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Coat

Has to be said ..

Virgin on the ridiculous.

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Starbucks site slurped, Z-Wave locks clocked, mad Mac Monero mining malware and much more

macjules
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More likely, "he failed to pay a share of the proceeds of his crime over to President V Putin"

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Church of England will commune with God for you via Amazon's Echo

macjules
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Re: So we're back to worship...

Wonder what happens when you say "Alexa, ask the Church of England about Jeremy Dowling"

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Is your smart device a bit thick? It's about to get a lot worse

macjules
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Re: Better Option

Why on earth do you need an IoT device to track your girlfriend's/wife's monthly cycle?

Am I the only one who knows 1) to keep head down, 2) do not respond to shouting and swearing with "Is it your time dear?" and 3) make sure that the loo seat is always closed and clean?

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US websites block netizens in Europe: Why are they ghosting EU? It's not you, it's GDPR

macjules
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Slightly odd for us as we are currently engaged on a project for Los Angeles Times, but now we are getting the same message. Nice to see that they have left the X-Clacks-Overhead in their response headers though :)

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UK Home Office's £885m crim records digi effort: A 'masterclass in incompetence'

macjules
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Re: There are no more jokes

You just have to say, "Home Office, Capita and Tata". We know that means "contract cost overrun, failure to deliver, TITSUP and chronic incompetence".

Home Office should just be thankful that TCS didn't publish their AWS PEM keys on GitHub.

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MPs slam UK.gov's 'unacceptable' hoarding of custody images

macjules
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Re: Um

Great, fine the government 4% of taxpayers money, give it ICO who pass it to where?

Almost like a VAT Carousel scam to get bonuses for ICO wonks

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Can't pay Information Commissioner's fine? No problem! Just liquidate your firm

macjules
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Re: I'm shocked.

Terrible news indeed.

The money is paid into the Treasury's Consolidated Fund (it does not feather the ICO's nest).

Yes it does. Unless the rules have changed, they get end of year bonuses based upon recovery and fines, in-line with HMRC guidelines.

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Zuckerberg gets a night off: Much-hyped Euro grilling was all smoke, absolutely no heat

macjules
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It was good to see Farage turn up and do his job for once.

Just amazed that he and his wretched party managed to get into the parliament building without fighting each other.

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Adobe acquires Magento to go B2B2C and beyond

macjules
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Black Helicopters

Re: Adobe and eCommerce...

My initial thought as well. Magento-powered AIR and Flash applications will undoubtedly be the next big thing.

Drupal Commerce could make a comeback ...

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Hitler 'is dead' declares French prof who gazed at dictator's nashers

macjules
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Ah, but that is totally irrelevant if:

1) You are living on the dark side of the moon

2) You are living in a life-extending bunker in the middle of the Amazon rain forest, subsisting on life-extending secret fruit that is only eaten by immortal pygmies (© 2016/7 History Channel - The Hunt for Adolf Hitler)

3) Your plans for world domination under Project Covefe are now well under way.

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You know me, I don't know you: Hospital reportedly raps staff for peeking at Ed Sheeran data

macjules
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Luckily we have GDPR where hospitals are now financially liable for breaches of patient data.

I managed to write that with a straight face ..

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