* Posts by Fungus Bob

1347 publicly visible posts • joined 26 Jun 2014

Wasps force two passenger jets into emergency landings

Fungus Bob

Re: Fly by wire ?

"I am sure the Horsedrawn airplanes were much more reliable."

Airplanes drawn by professional artists are much more reliable...

Jobs in Ireland may be vulnerable at post merger Dell Technologies

Fungus Bob
Trollface

Jobs in Ireland may be vulnerable

I don't think so, he doesn't get out much anymore.

Ex-HP boss Carly Fiorina sacked one week into new job

Fungus Bob

Re: Catch them young...

buttwipe?

Fungus Bob

Re: screwed & doomed

SCROOMED!

White House to bring us up to speed on artificial intelligence hype latest

Fungus Bob
FAIL

Re: White House to bring us up to speed on artificial intelligence

I am soooo glad the Competent People are working on this.

I am Craig Wright, inventor of Craig Wright

Fungus Bob

Re: Meta the Author

Permanent magnet motor is the answer, you asked the Wrong Question.

Fungus Bob

Re: Maybe amanfrommars is Satoshi Nakamoto?

Same here.

Cloud! IoT! APIs! Collect all the data! Samsung wins today's tech bingo

Fungus Bob

Don't! Be! Silly! Headline! Needs! More! Exclamation! Points!

China's Dalek-like robots fear only one terrifying nemesis: Stairs

Fungus Bob

Re: pepper pots

Or shrieking with Gwyneth Paltrow's voice.

Fungus Bob
Terminator

Fantasy Gifts called and they want their Dildonator back.

NZ Pastafarians joined in noodly wedlock

Fungus Bob

Re: And funerals?

I once thought a Viking Funeral would be a classy way to go. Then I considered a Circus Funeral - the body is shot out of a cannon into the grave (they get 3 tries). Now I figure a Hefty funeral is the thing - stick my body in a Hefty Cinch-Sak and set me by the curb*.

*preferably after I'm dead...

Fungus Bob

Re: Finally, a GOOD religion

No, Bob. Its *me*.

Chilling evidence emerges of Kilocat weapon

Fungus Bob

Re: WTF did I just read?????

A traditional English work of fiction.

Czech Republic to rebrand

Fungus Bob

Re: Will the Czechs change their name to Czechians?

United States of America -> Pubic Wig er... Merkin

NZ hotel bans cyclists' Lycra-clad loins

Fungus Bob

Tron Guy's a bit harsh too...

Bay Area man forced out of his $400 box home

Fungus Bob
Holmes

Re: fire hazard

"Surely if the room is smaller it would allow for a quicker evacuation?"

Definitely. One can shit one's pants up to 10 times more quickly in very tight spaces.

That naked picture on my PC? Not mine. The IT guy put it there

Fungus Bob
Coat

Re: Some rocks

Perhaps it's because the ijits in question got their rocks off....

Fungus Bob

"The pictures and videos in my head could get me arrested in some countries."

Then you'll want to stay out of Utah.

Field technicians want to grab my tool and probe my things

Fungus Bob

I thought she had a rather nice ass.

Hubble spies supermassive black hole in surprising spot

Fungus Bob
Holmes

"Scientists using the Hubble Space Telescope have spotted a huge black hole with 17 billion times the mass of our sun residing in an otherwise nearly empty backwater of the universe."

Of course it's nearly empty, the black hole sucked everything up!

Britain is sending a huge nuclear waste shipment to America. Why?

Fungus Bob

Re: Britain is sending a huge nuclear waste shipment to America. Why?

"How do you suppose they will move it from the ocean to the Mountain Dew factory?"

UPS Ground.

Also, Mountain Dew doesn't have a factory, it's a refinery.

FBI's Most Wanted: Syrian Electronic Army hacktivists

Fungus Bob
Facepalm

Re: Mutiny

"in an unmarked plane"

An unmarked, plain what? Err.....nevermind....

Tor Project works on anti-FBI defenses amid iOS row with Apple

Fungus Bob

"the collapse of democracy in the US"

What democracy? The government at State and Federal levels has been an oligarchy in all but name for nearly a century.

Police create mega crime database to rule them all. Is your numberplate in it? Could be

Fungus Bob
Mushroom

Re: Show Me My Minority Report

"Only world war 3 will bring it back."

The next Supreme Ruler of the USA will either be The Harpy or The Hairpiece so Total Ruin cannot be far behind.

Icon represents what will happen on Inauguration Day, 2017 :(

Samsung Galaxy S7: Big brand Android flagship champ

Fungus Bob

Re: "this year's model sees only positive improvements"

Ah, I see your confusion - there are improvements and then there are "improvements" (Microsoft does the latter).

Positive improvements is redundant.

Positive "improvements" is self-refuting.

Fungus Bob
Headmaster

"this year's model sees only positive improvements"

Ummm, aren't *all* improvements positive?

FBI backs down against Apple: Feds may be able to crack killer's iPhone without iGiant's help

Fungus Bob

Re: precedent

"given the mongrel origins of English the notion that any element of "design" was involved is a bit wide of the mark!"

So wide as to be a loose, loose (as in "ill fitting") proposition....

Reposting 8-second sports clips infringes copyright

Fungus Bob

"Who wouldn't want to watch that?"

The horse's mom.

Adobe will track you across all your devices with new co-op project

Fungus Bob

Re: Slurpscription

Sounds like a digestive malady.

Apple mulled gobbling its Brit GPU designers – but didn't like the taste

Fungus Bob
Coat

"Why? I can see analysts etc claiming this, but why would Apple want to buy Imagination Technologies?"

Because after the purchase Apple would no longer lack Imagination....

Ben Nevis embiggened by a metre

Fungus Bob

Re: ffs

"Whats wrong with using the Queens English ?"

I dunno, maybe Lester's not an old queen.

Too Naked for the Nazis streaks to literary glory

Fungus Bob

Re: A Cultural History of the Anus

Well, the author was anyway....

Apps that 'listen in' to your mobile get slapped by US watchdog

Fungus Bob
Trollface

Re: Name and shame

"I'm tired of hearing about stuff like this and then not being able to figure out whether any of the apps I have are affected."

You'll just have to stop listening....

Flying Scotsman attacked by drone

Fungus Bob

Re: The rest of that interview

"Well you can't beat a nice cup of tea and a good scone."

Sure you can, all you need is a big stick. Although why you'd want to is another question.

Irish shun beer, whiskey in favour of … wine

Fungus Bob

Re: Okay then. Here is a Citation

And another: http://www.curbsideclassic.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/CC-35-114-800.jpg

Mozilla will emit 'first version' of Servo-based Rust browser in June

Fungus Bob
Coat

Re: "think twice about calling anything Graphene"

'Or indeed "Rust" it makes it a pain to google for.'

Could be worse - they could have named it "Anal Sex".

Brit teen bags $250,000 in first World Drone Prix

Fungus Bob

Re: It would be more fun

"Honestly, no one will agree with me that this kind of a race would be more exciting with larger, more agile, faster, noisier (not to mention dangerous and more difficult to fly) machines??"

Oh, I agree with you but I'm quite mad. And don't forget to throw in a few hand grenades to give the spectators more bang for their buck...

Fungus Bob
Devil

Re: It would be more fun

"Do you make similar comments on every sporting event?"

Any sport can be improved with hand grenades.

AdBlock replaced blocked ads with ads for Amnesty International

Fungus Bob
Facepalm

Re: they decide serve us stuff that is dear to them

Should oughta rename it AdSwap.

Microsoft's done a terrible job with its Windows 10 nagware

Fungus Bob
Devil

Re: The Terrible...

"Alas there's no equivalent of Outlook."

The same could be said for a number of other diseases like Lotus Notes...

Critical flaw in Pidgin, Adium's Off The Record chat lib. Patch ASAP

Fungus Bob

Good thing I don't use computers for any sort of communication...

Newbie startup Tarmin shines up trendy secondary storage grid

Fungus Bob

a question

WTF is 'secondary data'?

Staffers in charge of HPE's UK IT outsourcing face redundo in April

Fungus Bob

Irony mining

So, the IT Outsourcing staff positions will be outsourced...

IBM to erase 14,000 people from the payroll – Wall St analyst

Fungus Bob

Re: Stop me if I'm wrong

"their actions are almost exactly identical to what brought Great Britain's magnificent industrial economy to a crashing halt"

Oh, good. At least it will end (sometime) (hopefully soon).

Home Ebola testing with a Tricorder? There's an app for that

Fungus Bob

Re: Zika - worse than first thought

From the article you reference:

1. there are all of forty-two pregnant women in Brazil with the Zika virus.

2. 70% of them have normal fetuses. That's a whole twelve fetuses with abnormalities.

Here's a more balanced viewpoint:

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2016/02/16/zika-virus.aspx

From the article above:

1. Brazil has a population that is 70% of that of the United States.

2. Brazil has reported just over 400 cases of microcephaly so far, 17 of which tested positive for the Zika virus (a whole 4.25% of all microcephaly cases so far).

3. The United States has approximately 25,000 cases of microcephaly per year without the Zika virus.

4. There are plenty of weird chemicals that have been linked to birth defects sprayed in the areas of Brazil where the microcephaly cases are reported.

So, what are the odds that a virus we've known about for almost 70 years is suddenly causing shrunken heads. Looks like we'd be smarter to look at other factors instead of shitting our pants about this.

Is there anything left to ask Bill Gates? (Other than gissus a million?)

Fungus Bob
Holmes

Re: I've Got A Question For Him

"What is his opinion on making a cup of tea"

The chucked-from-the-Reg Timothy Worstall would say you should buy the tea pre-made. It's More Efficient that way.

Microsoft wants to lock everyone into its store via universal Windows apps, says game kingpin

Fungus Bob
Devil

Re: App stores suck

"they're churning compost heaps of 100% malware"

How dare you sully the good names and reputations of compost heaps the world over, sir! HOW DARE YOU!

Electrified bird bum bomb shuts down US nuclear power plant

Fungus Bob

Re: First it was aircraft concerned about bird strike.

Some? Shouldn't that be a *shitload* of curried mice....

Surprise! That blood-pressure app doesn't measure blood pressure

Fungus Bob
Trollface

quite a few very preventable deaths per year

Sorry, C.O.G., death is not preventable. One may postpone it for a while, but ultimately the death rate is exactly one per person.

Amazon kills fondleslab file encryption with latest Fire OS update

Fungus Bob

Re: "That information is now accessible to malicious actors if the device is lost or stolen."

Just the bad ones