* Posts by Fungus Bob

1347 publicly visible posts • joined 26 Jun 2014

Want to spy on the boss? Try this phone-mast-in-an-HP printer

Fungus Bob

Re: I'm wondering

"Who replies to text messages from numbers they don't recognise or people who won't identify themselves?"

I do as it's usually some idiot texting to the wrong number and I respond with the most bizarre thing I can think of (the metropolitan area I live in has four local area codes so right number but wrong area code calling is common).

Coding will win you the election, narcissistic techies boasted to Hillary

Fungus Bob

Re: Another reason why Hillary can't put Trump away.

Nah, Trump is a human air horn.

Amazon guarantees bitterly contested Ohio wind farm project

Fungus Bob

Mmmmm, crunchy!

Apple fans using Chrome on alert for Mac malware

Fungus Bob
Trollface

Re: a more technically astute user-base

Mac users are generally more technically illiterate as they are mostly baristas that think they're creatives...

Ex-soldier slapped with sex offender order after flouting private browsing mode ban

Fungus Bob
Headmaster

Re: Am I reading this right ?

"they can brand anyone they like a sex offender"

The Powers That Be generally do that to people they don't like....

Getting your tongue around foreign tech-talk is easier than you think

Fungus Bob

Re: Shampoo

"Does this mean that shampoo with no poo is just a sham?"

What about sham rocks?

Fungus Bob
Devil

Re: Shampoo

I think we should all boycott shampoo and demand real poo.

Divide the internet into compartments to save us from the IoT fail whale

Fungus Bob
Trollface

Re: Doing it at home!

The human race has managed to get along without IoT warnings for thousands of years, I'm sure we'll manage to get along without them for another several thousand.

Paid Wikipedia-fiddling on wheels

Fungus Bob

Re: The Lawyer.

Ooh, downvoted by a lawyer...

Fungus Bob

Re: So

"The Trump?"

That would be the unit of Douchebaggery.

Fungus Bob

Re: So

"What is the elReg unit of scumbaggery?"

The Lawyer.

What will happen when I'm too old to push? (buttons, that is)

Fungus Bob

they don't like buttons to be in different places...

I don't like buttons at all. Double sided sticky tape is so much better.

Trump vs. Clinton III - TPP looks dead, RussiaLeaks confirmed

Fungus Bob

Re: Politics is dying in favour of...

'both candidates to be submitted for psychological evaluation'

Nah, both candidates to be turned into Soylent Green.

Britain's fight to get its F-35 aircraft carriers operational turns legal

Fungus Bob

getting sued by Johnny Foreigner

When Johnny Foreigner sues you drop another bomb on him.

Problem solved.

Red Hat eye from the Ubuntu guy: Fedora – how you doin'?

Fungus Bob
Trollface

Re: Why oh why would you use Ubuntu

"Why oh why would you use Linux when you can use Windows 10?"

Why oh why would you use Windows 10 when you can use a footgun?

Democralypse Now? US election first battle in new age of cyberwarfare

Fungus Bob
Devil

Re: selectively, out-of-order. and out-of-context

That's what makes it fun!

NHS patients must be taught to share their data, says EU lobby group

Fungus Bob

“a total of 56 per cent of the 2,000 people surveyed in the inaugural National Personal Data in Research Survey would also stand in the way of advances in medical science by not allowing their data to be shared for research.”

Big Pharma needs to be beaten with the Cluestick *and* the Salmon of Correction - it's called Personal Data for a reason!

RRS Sir David Attenborough construction goes full-steam ahead

Fungus Bob

Re: I'm confused

"If the pic at the top of the story shows it already travelling through frigid waters, why does the story say it won't be ready for a few more years?"

Somebody around here has a Tardis.

Fungus Bob

Q: How does one lay a ship's keel?

A: First, you have to get the keel's respect...

The IRS spaffed $12m on Office 365 subscription IT NEVER USED

Fungus Bob

If any government organization should be proud to pay the Windows Tax to support our Microsoftian Way Of Life, it should be the tax collection one...

HP Inc to blast more humans from employment cannon

Fungus Bob

I imagine that any employees HP accidentally forgot to dump have negative attitudes.

Euro politicians are hyping the terror threat to steal your privacy

Fungus Bob
Unhappy

"The fundamental problem, Laguna suggests, is that Americans can’t understand European privacy concerns."

We Americans *do* understand European privacy concerns as they are ours too. Unfortunately, we are saddled with corporate and government asshats that want to run roughshod over us.

Pound falling, Marmite off the shelves – what the UK needs right now is ... an AI ethics board

Fungus Bob

Re: If Bees make honey...

"(mustard mit, I luvs the stuff)"

We can fix that for you.

Tax-swerving IT director disqualified for 8 years

Fungus Bob

They're what keep the bi-directional Tremmy pipes from farbelizing.

Soylent bars farting recall

Fungus Bob
Mushroom

Just relabel them as energy bars...

...and call the jet assist a feature, not a bug!

Icon for what happens when you fire up the afterburner :)

WD gives My Passport spinning rust drives a lick of paint

Fungus Bob

Re: Yves Behar would look

He'd look even sillier with one of those drives sticking out of a different hole...

'There may be no hackers' says Trump in Presidential Debate II

Fungus Bob

Re: Can any politician even spell HTML?..

They can't even figure out how to pronounce it as it doesn't have any vowels...

Internet of pills plan calls for drugs to tell you when to take them

Fungus Bob

E-ink toilet paper to remind you to wipe your ass.

One-way Martian ticket: Pick passengers for Musk's first Mars pioneer squad

Fungus Bob

"Musk seems to think can be traversed in 80 days."

Those would be Imperial days which are 20% longer than regular days.

Samsung: And for my next trick – exploding WASHING MACHINES

Fungus Bob

Nobody has asked the obvious question yet...

Are Samsung washing machines battery powered?

Official: Windows 10 has hit the 400 million device mark

Fungus Bob
Linux

Re: How many

"Probably penguin angries..."

No such animal. We Linux users really do like Microsoft and Windows - they amuse and entertain us.

High rear end winds cause F-35A ground engine fire

Fungus Bob

Re: Link?

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2016/09/25/back_end_flameout_roasts_f35_on_runway/

Fungus Bob
Devil

Even God does not like the F35...

Fungus Bob

Re: deactivated by an old guy in a row boat, armed with a pair of electrical side cutters

That'll be me in a few years

Disney rollercoaster helps pop out kidney stones

Fungus Bob

Re: Did they have to...

It's sterile. And Patches O’Houlihan likes the taste.

Self-driving Google car T-boned in California crash

Fungus Bob

Re: Is there a story here?

"To be fair, one of them was competently driven but it wasn't by any human."

The driver of the van was just doing his part to combat Skynet.

Sad reality: It's cheaper to get hacked than build strong IT defenses

Fungus Bob
Facepalm

Re: About that Pinto memo...

Read much?

From the link:

"More startling, Schwartz shows that everyone's received ideas about the fabled "smoking gun" memo are false (the one supposedly dealing with how it was cheaper to save money on a small part and pay off later lawsuits... and immortalized in the movie "Fight Club"). The actual memo did not pertain to Pintos, or even Ford products, but to American cars in general; it dealt with rollovers, not rear-end collisions; it did not contemplate the matter of tort liability at all, let alone accept it as cheaper than a design change; it assigned a value to human life because federal regulators, for whose eyes it was meant, themselves employed that concept in their deliberations; and the value it used was one that they, the regulators, had set forth in documents."

Fungus Bob

About that Pinto memo...

This was debunked about 25 years ago.

http://message.snopes.com/showthread.php?t=26785

Game over: IANA power-grab block pulled from Congress funding bill

Fungus Bob

Cruz 'profoundly disappointed' as attempt to screw country fails

And now he is limp with shame...

US Homeland Security launches IoT willy-waving campaign

Fungus Bob

Re: Reagan put it best

And this is why we really don't have to worry about the Stupidity that is IoT as the government will effectively kill the entire concept in their efforts to "help".

Do AI chat bots need a personality bypass – or will we only trust gabber 'droids with character?

Fungus Bob
Joke

Re: Just add compassion . . .

COMPASSION IS FOR THE WEAK, YOU STUPID TROLL!!!!!!

Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!

Oracle lawyers prevail in copyright case (No, not that, the other one)

Fungus Bob

Oracle is in the news...

...and no one gives a shit!

Uncle Sam rules on self-driving cars

Fungus Bob
Happy

Upvote for fucknugget, plenty of uses for it where I work.

Google GPS grab felt like a feature, was actually a bug

Fungus Bob

Re: Removable/replaceable batteries seem a thing of the past.

Just make sure your phone is wearing the tinfoil hat instead of you.

Did you know iOS 10, macOS Sierra has a problem with crappy VPNs? You do now

Fungus Bob
Megaphone

Re: @SleepGuy

STOP ROGERING SHIRLEY!!!!!

Ad flog Plus: Adblock Plus now an advertising network, takes cash to broker web banners

Fungus Bob
Joke

Re: " are you shitting me?"

Wouldn't shit you, you're my favorite turd!

Microsoft leads group pelting 'heavy duty' robot maker with $10.5m

Fungus Bob

Re: Fundamentally transform them into what?

BullShit Of DOOOOOM!

film at 11

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CkQYeqz_9c0

Bad news: MySQL can dish out root access to cunning miscreants

Fungus Bob

Re: amusingly

Only if the root you seek access to is a turnip.