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* Posts by Fungus Bob

1082 posts • joined 26 Jun 2014


Pork pulled: Plug jerked out of beacon of bacon delight

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Re: Here we go...

...but there aren't any vegan friendly choices!

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Re: It could work. I wonder how it tastes....

Nah, probably more like an incredible soy substitute.

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Re: 404: Bacon Not Found

"that artificially flavoured rubbish the yanks favour"

No we don't., our Corporate Overlords simply give us no choice...

Dev's telnet tinkering lands him on out-of-hour conference call with CEO, CTO, MD

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Re: About a billion years ago in internet time (call it 1986) ...

I once told my supervisor that down in Brazil, the gauchos hunted the gazebos to the verge of extinction, And he believed it.

Also around 1986....

Forget your deepest, darkest secrets, smart speakers will soon listen for sniffles and farts too

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Re: 15 armed officers

Most people only have two...

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Re: It sounds like you're writing a letter...

Fortunately, it doesn't work that well. To really mess it up, use some weird language that twins make up.


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Re: I gotta hand it to them

They would gladly be the wipers of other people's bottoms if they could figure out how to monetize it.

The fastest, most secure browser? Microsoft Edge apparently

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"On an iPhone 8 it would be less than 14 pixels high..."

I don't have a problem with that...

Home users due for a battering with Microsoft 365 subscription stick

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Re: Yes, what MS really needs now is more marketing...

"Anyway, a more "consumer" version of Office 365 I'm afraid could offer less features and somewhat simplified applications."

It's called 'Google Docs'.....

It's a, it's a, it's a SYN flood: Quick, ditch that packet

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Well, South Korea is a little behind the times - they're still using Internet Explorer 6 due to some dumb security law.

Incoming! Microsoft unleashes more fixes for Windows 10 October 2018 Update

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NUT: SaaCK - Novel User Torture: Software as a ClusterfucK.

Peak tech! Bacon vending machine signals apex of human invention

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Re: Not a big bacon-eater myself...

Bacon grease is also ideal for cooking eggs.

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Re: Which is better?

Doesn't matter. Bacon is meat candy.

Awkward... Revealed Facebook emails show plans for data slurping, selling access to addicts' info, crafty PR spinning

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Re: Popcorn anyone?

Don't forget Tumblr sliding into oblivion after porn filtering everything.

Microsoft polishes up Chromium as EdgeHTML peers into the abyss

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"For the record, I've never used Edge so I cannot comment on its merits."

Those here that have used it seem to be focusing in it's demerits.

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"How about a BSD distro?"

Microsoft BSD? They already did that. You've heard of the BSOD.....

Prez Trump to host chinwag with Google, Microsoft, Oracle and Qualcomm – report

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Re: Trump's private discussion is likely to cover artificial intelligence, 5G and quantum computing.

Trump is actually an expert in artificial intelligence - any intelligence he may possess is completely artificial...

Support whizz 'fixes' screeching laptop with a single click... by closing 'malware-y' browser tab

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Many years ago, when the Anna Kournikova virus was making the rounds, I was working in a very small company. One day the boss said "...Uhhh, I think I got a virus" . A quick check proved nothing bad happened. I told him this was why we were using Pegasus and that he was a pervert.

Alleged crypto-crook CEO cuffed by FBI after $4m investment in his bank bafflingly vanishes

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"why you'd trust the perspicacity of someone who used to get punched in the head for a living escapes us."

Because... the George Foreman grill

Healthcare billing biz AccuDoc 'fesses up to breach that blabbed 2.65m people's data

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"It did not include any financial details or medical records"


OneDrive is broken: Microsoft's cloudy storage drops from the sky for EU users

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Re: High five

The Salmon of Correction (frozen)

Canuck couple returns home after night on tiles to gaggle of randomers hanging out in their flat

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Re: It always pays to carry a Micro-Uzi in a shoulder holster

Only if the god was Bacchus......

Baroness Trumpington, former Bletchley Park clerk, dies aged 96

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No, she'd still be 96 by now. She would not be 100 for four more years.

Big Falcon Namechange for Musk's rocket: BFR becomes Starship

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Re: Spacey McSpaceshipFace

Fartblaster Luna Smoothie?

Wombats literally sh!t bricks – and now boffins reckon they know how

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Re: Kinda macabre, but alright

"If a car hit a wombat in Australia so fast that the wombat's body ended up in the USA, how fast was the car travelling?"

Fast enough to knock the shit out of a wombat and into a different time zone.

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Re: Actually very interesting to some people...

Timmy B, you sure know your shit...

Trump in Spaaaaaaace: Washington DC battles over who gets to decide the rules of trillion-dollar new industry

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Re: Commercial?

"I'll have some of what that guy is smokin'!"

From the look of it, he's probably smokin' motherboards...

Russia: We did not hack the US Democrats. But if we did, we're immune from prosecution... lmao

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Still gotta have a Finnish dwarf with a toothbrush.

Cheeky cheesemaker fails to copyright how things taste

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Re: @Charlie Clark

"we had to suffer red balls"

Your comment would be much more entertaining if this was all you wrote...

OK Google, why was your web traffic hijacked and routed through China, Russia today?

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"I wonder why US telcos don't give a damn like that ?"

They don't care. They don't have to care - they're the phone company...

Brit boffins build 'quantum compass'... say goodbye to those old GPS gizmos, possibly

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Re: It's not a compass.

"A surveying point in the home harbour, probably made of concrete, is difficult for the enemy to block or interfere with."

A torpedo could probably render it useless...

Spammer scum hack 100,000 home routers via UPnP vulns to craft email-flinging botnet

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Re: wireless speakers

Proper speakers have wires.

Dell upping its margins again: Precision 5530 laptop will sting you for $13m. Yep, six zeroes

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Re: It's an Apple move

Apple is for peasants!

Bill Gates joined on stage by jar of poop as he confesses deep love for talking about toilets

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Re: Crap! Crap! Crap!

"De Turbolax, De Turbolax, De Turbolax,..." (?)

We (may) now know the real reason for that IBM takeover. A distraction for Red Hat to axe KDE

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Re: KDE is really good now

"Akonadi is horrible and sucks up too many resources. Kill it with fire."

It's quicker and easier to install XFCE instead.

'He must be stopped': Missouri candidate's children tell voters he's basically an asshat

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Re: "Hitler was right"

"er, he was actually right about a thing or two, you know..."

About what? Putting your pants on one leg at a time?

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Don't be so sure. Missouri is the state where John Ashcroft lost to a dead guy.

50 ways to leave your lover, but four to sniff browser history

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Re: run NoScript

"NoScript only works if the naughty script is served from a domain you don't care about. "

Then run no scripts....

I know, the web don't work then...

Bomb squad descends on suspicious package to find something much more dangerous – a Journey cassette

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Re: Harmless

"I'd guess that most cars on the road have a tape player."

More importantly, cars have tires with which they can run over Journey tapes.

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Re: Did they.....

There is only one Journey joke, the rest are true.

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Re: Escalation

"Bill & Ted ... pah that's kid's stuff. it could have been "Ernest Saves Christmas"!"

Or "Pee Wee's Big Adventure".

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Re: Escalation

"Instead of the usual bomb disposal expert they'd have used the bomb disposal evil robot?"

Should have used Justin Bieber.

Manchester man fined £1,440 after neighbours couldn't open windows for stench of dog toffee

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Re: Had to think then

It's more fun if they doo...

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Re: Had to think then

"The correct term is dog poo, the author must be American?"

Nope, we call 'em land mines over here.

Official: IBM to gobble Red Hat for $34bn – yes, the enterprise Linux biz

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Re: So exactly how is IBM going to tame employees that are used to going to work in shorts...

I BM too but I don't brag about it.

This two-year-old give-me-root hole is so trivial to exploit, you can fit it in a single tweet

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Re: And this is news how?

"I prefer to boot into a console"

Ah. Slave to fashion, then...

Science: Broke brats glued to the web while silk-stocking scions have better things to do

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Re: D'uh

"Next thing you'll tell me the pope is catholic..."

Actually he's a Wiccan.

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Re: Buzzwords...

"So what's the next generation going to be called after Generation Z?"

I suggest you read "On Beyond Zebra!" by Dr. Seuss...

Memo to Microsoft: Windows 10 is broken, and the fixes can't wait

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Re: QA Prestige

"Just had the 'pleasure' of setting up a Lubuntu system..."

Were you installing it on a TRS80?


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