* Posts by IanTP

72 publicly visible posts • joined 11 Apr 2014

Page:

Microsoft Publisher books its retirement party for 2026

IanTP

Serif PagePlus...

Anyone remember that, I started off with version 3 I believe, but had a go with Microsoft Publisher and fell in love, still use it occasionally today in Office 2010.

Atos talks to banks over refinancing after rights issue falls through

IanTP
Coat

Oh Dear, How Sad

What A Pity,

Never Mind.

Persecutor of disabled people in the UK and probably elsewhere too.

Mines the one with the work capability assessment in the pocket.

Apple jacks prices to juice profits because $19.3B a quarter isn't enough

IanTP
Pint

'Apple iCloud, Apple Music, and Apple Fitness appear to have been spared from the latest round of price increases, for now at least.'

iCloud increased in price a few months ago, my 2TB plan went from £6.99 to £8.99 an increase of around 25%

Beer because its Friday eve :)

ESA's Jupiter-bound Juice spacecraft has a sticky problem with its radar

IanTP

Who Me?

probably more like a Who Me? :)

Don't worry, that system's not actually active – oh, wait …

IanTP
Flame

Do Not Change The Settings

Staying in Croyde, Devon one year and the toaster had the following above it:

Please do not change the settings on the toaster as this will set the fire alarm off.

Still makes me chuckle.

Wow, so they actually let AI fly an F-16 fighter jet

IanTP
Pint

Re: Nominative Determinism in action

HAL was confused, he was told to lie which humans find easy to do, HAL didn't know how.

Have a beer though.

How I made a Chrome extension for converting Reg articles to UK spelling

IanTP
Coat

Re: Not wounded pride.

Upvote for the Daria reference, have a Monday beer!

Mines the one with a copy of Sick, Sad World in the pocket -->

We should give Taiwan $4.5b to protect chip fabs from China, say US senators

IanTP
Mushroom

How many trillions in debt is the US, waiting for it to be called in.

Friday tomorrow and we all know what that means. Be well

BOFH and the case of the disappearing teaspoons

IanTP
Pint

Kudos for the link

I have my Dabbsy back

Have one or two of these on me --->

IanTP

Re: Axing the BOFH…

Don't forget the carpet and bags of lime...

Declassified and released: More secret files on US govt's emergency doomsday powers

IanTP
Mushroom

If we don't end war, war will end us - H.G. Wells

Said the in the 1936 film, Things to Come.

Icon - obvs

Happy birthday Windows 3.1, aka 'the one that Visual Basic kept crashing on'

IanTP
Coat

My First PC

It was from Radio Rentals (who remembers them) it was a 486 sx33 and came with Windows 3.11 for workgroups, my first upgrade was to a 486 DX4/100 and a friend who had a Win 95 CD, I still miss them both.

Mines the one with a box of floppys in the pocket :)

This is how demon.co.uk ends, not with a bang but a blunder: Randomer swipes decommissioning domain

IanTP
Pint

Who Me?

I sense a story here in a couple of years. hey it's also Friday :)

Apple takes another swing at Epic, says Unreal Engine could be a 'trojan horse' threatening security

IanTP
Pint

Someone had a sense of humour failure, here's a thumbs up and a pint.

-->

Dell: 60% of our people won't be going back into an office regularly after COVID-19

IanTP
Coat

House Insurance

So working from home, how would this affect your house insurance, would you need to have extra cover because you are now taking part in business? Just a thought.

Mines the one with Insurance for Dummies in the pocket.

You can get a mechanical keyboard for £45. But should you? We pulled an Aukey KM-G6 out of the bargain bin

IanTP
Thumb Up

Just checked the link on the Outemu Blue-equipped and it's back to £60, never mind, I am now seriously looking for a new keyboard, so may give the Aukey KM-G6 a try.

Current keyboard is a MS 200 wired one, which is not bad i have to say.

Thanks for the article.

Watch out, everyone, here come the Coronavirus Cops, enjoying their little slice of power way too much

IanTP
Pint

Re: "#MeToo"

PCSO's have no authority and can be ignored, they are just civilians with the power of citizens arrest, same as everybody else, that's it. Only an officer of the crown can stop you and ask questions.

Friday tomorrow and, well you know... ---->

BOFH: Gosh, IPv5? Why didn't I think of that? Say, how do you like the new windows in here? Take a look. Closer...

IanTP
Thumb Up

New equipment required!

Thank you, although you do owe me a new keyboard and monitor, due to 'issues' quite possibly the best BOFH yet :)

What a load of bollards! Object of bloke's street furniture romp run over

IanTP
Pint

Re: Possible scenarios...

alt.binaries.sex.bollards perchance? Asking for a friend...

Nicely written, have a Friday one on me :)

Astroboffins baffled as Curiosity rover takes larger gasps of oxygen in Martian summers

IanTP
Coat

Re: Easy option

Watch The Skies!

Mines the one with a copy of Close Encounters of the Third Kind in the pocket.

Just what we all needed, lactose-free 'beer' from northern hipsters – it's the Vegan Sorbet Sour

IanTP
Happy

Re: I'm off

Cods Scallops, 3 locations around Nottinghamm, frys in dripping! https://www.codsscallops.com/our-menu/ :)

Look, we know it feels like everything's going off the rails right now, but think positive: The proton has a new radius

IanTP
Pint

Size matters?

It's shrunk, as the actress said to the bishop....

Sorry, it's Friday and I'm off to Skegvegas,

Have one on me -------->

I couldn't possibly tell you the computer's ID over the phone, I've been on A Course™

IanTP
Pint

Thanks Richard, I must have missed this gem on Friday as it's now 2am Sunday morning with a bottle of Haig Clubman on special. Have one on me

BOFH: Oh, go on, let's flush all that legacy tech down the toilet

IanTP
Coat

faecal recognition?

"Well, faecal recognition software for door access."

You owe me for a new keyboard, Simon!

Mine's the one with the bog roll in the pocket :)

Azure consultant to sue Google for linking his cached pics to cloned site, breach of copyright

IanTP
Pint

Re: Caching?

I see what you did there, have an early Friday one on me :)

The dread sound of the squeaking caster in the humming data centre

IanTP
Coat

Re: Stan, Sid, let's make it simple, okay ?

Anyone else remember Bob from The Micro User and his monthly tales of woe?

Mines the one with the copy of BBC Basic in the pocket...

It's 2019 and a WhatsApp call can hack a phone: Zero-day exploit infects mobes with spyware

IanTP
Black Helicopters

I don't normally reply to AC's but you would like me to type a phrase into google and presumably click on the top link?

You are GCHQ and I claim my £5!

Icon because, obvs.

UK is 'not a surveillance state' insists minister defending police face recog tech

IanTP

So, not both then...

Thanks to UK peers, coming to a laptop near you in 2019: Age checks for online smut

IanTP
Joke

"I would word it as "When two people love each other very much..."

Did you just assume my species...

Official: Google Chrome 69 kills off the World Wide Web (in URLs)

IanTP

Re: Why not take it a step further..

Software upgradeable to the 9000?

Dawn spacecraft to get up-close and personal with dwarf planet Ceres

IanTP
Coat

That's no moon....

Sorry, I'll get me coat.

Beer later :)

Los Angeles police tell drivers not to trust navigation apps as wildfires engulf area

IanTP
Facepalm

Re: Don't drive into a raging wildfire...

LOL, you forgot one though, some twat this side of the pond (Wolverhampton) just cemented a microwave to his head and had to be released by the local fire brigade. Link - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-42271150

BOFH: The trouble with, er, windows installs

IanTP

Re: Over reliance on Windows...

Final Destination, surely :)

Royal Bank of Scotland website goes TITSUP*

IanTP
FAIL

Lloyds affected?

Problems using my debit card today, 1st time was declined, 2nd time ok, person behind counter said it had been happening a lot today.

Arm Inside: Is Apple ready for the next big switch?

IanTP
Pint

Will it run Crysis?

Sorry, having a daft day here, have an almost midweek beer on me :)

Foiled again! Brit military minds splash cash on killing satellites with... food wrapping?

IanTP

Re: Daedalus Experiment?

I see what you did there, nice!

Physicists win Nobel Prize for spotting ripples in fabric of space-time

IanTP

I think that's a SEP probably...

Blocking peeps on social media? That's a paddlin' for governors, senators, house reps

IanTP
Mushroom

The Burger King vs McDonalds war is coming. (Judge Dredd, Cursed Earth story) The final breakdown of American society :)

Obligatory nuke icon.

Russia, China vow to kill off VPNs, Tor browser

IanTP
Coat

Re: Fear

But Mostly Harmless....

Mines the one with the Guide in the pocket.

Voyager 1 passes another milestone: It's now 138AU from home

IanTP
Alien

Re: What's that work out to?

Total Perspective Vortex anyone? :)

NHS Digital stopped short of advising against paying off WannaCrypt

IanTP

Re: Survival of the fittest

And lets not forget it was central government decision NOT to pay microsoft for extended support on those XP machines, which would have probably protected them.

NASA plans seven-year trip to Jupiter – can we come with you, please?

IanTP
Coat

All these worlds are yours,

Except Europa.

Attempt no landing there....

Mine's the one with a copy of 2010 in the pocket. Nice performance by the delectable Helen Mirren.

IanTP

Re: Artifacts Express- opening soon in an orbit near you!

Could be RAMA?

IanTP

Re: Psyche

Ah you must mean the last concert by Disaster Area....

Brit censors endure 10-hour Paint Drying movie epic

IanTP

Re: Pure genious

Hey, I see no reason why not. Peter Jackson got 3 films out of The Hobbit, has to be at least a quadrilogy out of this one :)

Virgin bins Webspace, tells customers they can cry to GoDaddy

IanTP
Pint

Oops! Probably not a good sign...

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2014/09/01/godaddy_dns_outage/

Rare Monday beer being consumed!

Competition? No way! AT&T says it will sue to keep Google Fiber out of Louisville, Kentucky

IanTP
Facepalm

So the most advanced country on the planet (citation needed) still hang wires from poles? Over the pond here they are out of the way underground. :) Well its Friday and i'm on the beer :)

Gaming souk Steam spews credit card, personal info in Xmas Day security meltdown

IanTP
Pint

Steam has never had or will ever have my payment details saved, uncheck the box, its the only way, other than nuking from space!

Christmas beer in hand :)

Kids' TV show Rainbow in homosexual agenda shocker

IanTP
Pint

Thanks everyone

135 comments, I'm proud of you guys, really brightened my evening, have a Monday beer :)

JD Wetherspoon: A 'hacker' nicks 650,000 pub-goers' data

IanTP
Pint

In Further News...

Spoons are no longer accepting CAMRA vouchers or offering a discount to holders of the MANGO bus card scheme.

Page: