* Posts by FeRDNYC

145 publicly visible posts • joined 8 Jun 2013

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It's not all watching transparent TV from a voice-commanded bidet. CES has work stuff too

FeRDNYC

Re: 3D? Again?

If you could do it so that it works from pretty much any viewing angle and doesn't require special glasses, then you may be onto something.

-----------------------

Stereoscopic 3d isn't true 3d, your eyes don't change their focal distance and that's why it only gives a impression of relative distance.

If someone can make a true 3d display where your eyes can't tell the difference from reality

...Neither of which will ever happen, because that's not how light works.

We've been tricked by movies and TV faking "holographic" displays where something is magically projected into 3D space, viewable from any angle, with real depth to it because the image exists in three dimensions.

Those tricks are only possible because they rely on a fixed perspective (the camera) to create the illusion. In reality, such things are literally impossible because, quite simply, physics. To project an image, you need a surface for the projection to reflect off of. The reflected image will have the shape of that surface, meaning a flat screen gets you a flat image. It can appear 3D with sufficient trickery, but it can't be three-dimensional.

The only possibilities for flaunting those basic laws of physics are to make use of the same trickery all those movies rely on, and construct your virtual image from a fixed perspective.

Stick contact lenses in someone's eyes with the ability to display graphics, and you can create real illusions of three-dimensional objects for that one person. Because you can feed their eyes all of the same information they'd be able to get from the real thing. (The lenses would also have to be able to communicate with each other, and detect and respond to the viewing direction and focus of both eyes, in order to completely sell the illusion. And if you want multiple people to see the same illusion, they all need augmented vision systems working in concert with each other.)

But for anything that doesn't literally rewrite your visual stimulus at the source, it's just not happening.

FeRDNYC

Only at El Reg could you read a description of a toilet seat "...from a company called Kohler", dubiously name-checking one of the largest manufacturers of kitchen & bathroom hardware in the world.

(...And lighting. Why does Kohler have a lighting products line? Probably for the same reason Dyson makes ridiculously expensive hair curlers.)

If your reasonable, mid-range faucet isn't a Delta or a Moen, it's probably a Kohler. (If you're rich, maybe you shelled out for a premium brand like ROHL or Zurn — tho there are plenty of hair-raisingly expensive Kohler models, too. Us poors, OTOH, tend to gravitate towards Glacier Bay and American Standard, the "no-name PC clone" brands of the faucet & fixture industry.)

Dems are at it again, trying to break open black-box algorithms

FeRDNYC

Re: Smoke and Mirrors

Full disclosure: I'm an open-source developer and advocate. I firmly believe that it's possible to both create world-class software and to make money doing so, without having to hide your code in order to secure your revenue stream. There are sufficient examples of companies demonstrating that model's workability: Red Hat, Qt, Mozilla, sorta-Google, etc. I believe that security through obscurity is no security at all, so the concept of "trade secret" protections and software patents leaves me cold. Those are the biases I bring to this conversation.

I'm assuming rigorous testing has taken place already so alleged bias has been measured for all of the software solutions on the market.

You shouldn't assume that, because the only requirement that these products be subjected to any independent testing AT ALL is in this bill that's never going to pass. Right now, for software being used to produce evidence in trials today, no testing whatsoever is required to have been performed, so how much do you really think has been done? The free market ain't gonna incentivize the elimination of biases here, heck the market probably favors biased systems. (Doesn't it always?)

Does the defendant really need to see the source code?

IMHO, yes. It's the surest way to evaluate the algorithm being employed to make decisions that are, quite literally in some cases, matters of life and death. The stakes here are not exactly low.

To be clear, not every defendant will be expected to evaluate the software being used in their prosecution. But the path towards making it possible to do so, for those with the means and motivation, is to provide everyone with that option.

FeRDNYC

Re: Smoke and Mirrors

Eh, it doesn't really get that deep in the weeds, and the bill isn't just about source-code review of the tools.

What (the 2021 version of) the bill actually proposes is:

1. To direct NIST (the National Institute of Standards and Technology) to draft a set of testing guidelines "to be known as the Computational Forensic Algorithm Testing Standards", by which tools used in generating criminal trial evidence are evaluated for biases and error rates, and to set "requirements for publicly available documentation by developers of computational forensic software of the purpose and function of the software, the development process, including source and description of data used to develop the tool, and internal testing methodology and results, including source and description of testing data".

2. To remove the trade-secret protection that developers typically hide behind, when refusing to provide that information.

3. To mandate that defendants against whom forensic-software evidence is used are to be furnished with "Any results or reports resulting from analysis by computational forensic software", "and the defendant shall be accorded access to both an executable copy of and the source code for the version of the computational forensic software—as well as earlier versions of the software, necessary instructions for use and interpretation of the results, and relevant files and data—used for analysis in the case and suitable for testing purposes".

It doesn't have to be illegal to try to duck those restrictions, it's sufficient that any software so concealed fails to meet the NIST standards. Because an additional key point is:

4. Make results from any software that doesn't meet the new NIST standards inadmissible as evidence.

...Of course, the bill will never pass anyway, heck it'll never make it out of committee. But it's nice to dream.

Forgetting the history of Unix is coding us into a corner

FeRDNYC

Re: If you decide not to choose

If you're going to quote terrible Rush songs, at least quote them accurately:

If you choose not to decide,

You still have made a choice.

FeRDNYC

Only Wayland?

So any Wayland evangelists out there, tell us: where in the file system can I find the files describing a window on the screen under the Wayland protocol? What file holds the coordinates of the window, its place in the Z-order, its colour depth, its contents?

Do those parameters exist somewhere on the filesystem when running an Xorg server?

CompSci academic thought tech support was useless – until he needed it

FeRDNYC

Heh. "Heldesk" is quite the Freudian slip, there.

Along similar (but less antagonistic) lines, the mailing lists @ school when I was there in the early-mid 1990s were managed by Brent Chapman's venerable Majordomo listserv, which of course processed administrative requests mailed to majordomo@[list].

That mostly worked fine, except for the mailing list for our LGBT student group, which found users regularly misaddressing their subscribe/unsubscribe requests to the innocently-misread majorhomo@. I think they ended up having to set up a forwarding mailbox.

Python creator Guido van Rossum sys.exit()s as language overlord

FeRDNYC

Nice spam, but as a warning for other readers,

You will see the pros and cons of Python programming language over Java, C, C++, and understand why companies prefer Python.

...You really won't.

What you'll find is a bunch of empty, regurgitated half-platitudes with no real explanation or justification. (Example: "Python has some unique characteristics that are valuable for programmers because they make coding easier." ...That's it, the claim is never expanded upon.)

Plus, you'll find blatantly incorrect nonsense like:

"Another advantage of Python programming is that no bug can originate a segmentation fault."

...Wanna BET? (This is the sentence that immediately follows the previously-quoted one, BTW. Like I said, no justifications, just jumping from nonsense point to nonsense point.)

Or how about:

"C++ or any other typical scripting language might be easier to use for constructing mobile applications or games"

#WAT. Android native code is written in Java. iOS native code is written in Swift or Objective C. There are a few exceptions (like Qt's mobile framework), but really what is this even TALKING about?!?

FeRDNYC

Re: Any language that depends on differing amounts of whitespace to alter the program is stupid.

5½ years later, rereading this comment, what's fascinating to me is how well it's aged.

It's now 2024 (welcome, mind the hangover), and the difference from 5+ years ago is the subsequent explosion of AI into the public consciousness — in the form of large language models (LLMs), in particular.

And, of course, when dealing with LLMs, the notion that "everything is a [number]" — or, more precisely, a vector of them — seems perfectly reasonable, even implicit. As does the notion of "adding 144 to Thursday", since working with LLMs is all about reducing everything to a vector of coordinates in n-dimensional space, then manipulating those vectors.

(A classic example in the neural net space is that "King - Man + Woman == Queen". You take the three vectors on the LHS, you combine them as indicated, and you come out with something very close to the vector representing Queen.)

I daresay this NNAPL's greatest weakness might've been that it was just a bit too far ahead of its time!

(Well, if it couldn't do floating-point math, then that was probably an even bigger weakness. Most models on HuggingFace and etc. work in floating-point space, with fractional vector coordinates. There are models like MarkupLM constructed from integer data — its dataset is all torch.LongTensor values — but even those typically perform floating-point math and output torch.FloatVector results.)

GNU turns 40: Stallman's baby still not ready for prime time, but hey, there's cake

FeRDNYC

HURD isn't unfinished, it's a zombie project

From the article:

It is arguable that in the sort of narrow, specific sense that Stallman himself tends to favor, the GNU Project failed. There isn't a complete, working GNU OS. An operating system is a stack of components, from the visible user-facing stuff to the kernel, and the GNU kernel, the also recursively named Hurd, is still incomplete and not ready for daily use, even after all this time.

It's not really fair to characterize HURD as an unfinished project, because nobody's really expecting to finish it anymore. The FSF's own tediously comprehensive GNU/Linux FAQ and/or harangue even admits:

We expected to release the GNU system packaged for installation, but this plan was overtaken by events: in 1992 others were already packaging GNU variants containing Linux. Starting in 1993 we sponsored an effort to make a better and freer GNU/Linux distribution, called Debian GNU/Linux. [...]

The GNU Hurd kernel never became sufficiently ready; we only recommend it to those interested in working on it.

Their user-facing recommendations exclusively promote use of the GNU system on top of the Linux kernel.

HURD is only still a thing because the entire kernel project became a manifestation of the sunk-cost fallacy. The FSF continues to develop a dead-end microkernel that will never be usable, simply because "Given the years of work we had already put into the Hurd, we decided to finish it rather than throw them away."

BOFH: We send a user to visit Kelvin – Keeper of the Batteries

FeRDNYC

In a modern inversion of that, I've long since learned not to trust Home Depot's website when it reports a product is in-stock in store, unless it claims there are a minimum of three units in stock. Fewer than three, it's a 50/50 shot there will be even a single one to be found.

FeRDNYC

Re: The force is strong with this new one

I like how you write that as if snooker suddenly became a popular TV sport after the introduction of colo[u]r.

FeRDNYC

Re: Keepers of...

Certainly, under-Scottying. You always double all of the numbers in your estimates, how else can you look like a miracle worker when you make things work with only half of the required resources?

FeRDNYC

Re: Evil,..... moi?

Headlight fluid. You can never have enough headlight fluid.

FeRDNYC

Re: Keepers of...

Hey, wait, is that < blockquote > ?!!? Did that FINALLY get fixed to work in the comment system here?!

I had to re-edit SO MANY posts over the years because I tried to use blockquote and had it fail, so eventually I managed up break myself of the habit... Guess it kind of tracks that, NOW it'd finally be working!

FeRDNYC

Re: Keep the Frogs happy.

(a less useful fact would be hard to imagine.)

Here's one for you, and it's even temperature-related: -40 is the point where the Fahrenheit and Celsius scales cross, so -40°F == -40°C.

Great for trivia purposes, sure. If you want to make a date suffer and reconsider their recent life choices, can't go wrong with that factoid.

But beyond those social-warfare applications, what practical use will that nugget of information ever be, really?

Resilience is overrated when it's not advertised

FeRDNYC

Do it Yourself (by Bill Sutton)

Oh, I-B-M, DEC, and Honeywell, H-P, D-G, and Wang,

Amdahl, NEC, and N-C-R, they don't know anything

They make big bucks for systems so they never want it known,

That you can build a mainframe from the things you find at home.

Boffins say they can turn typing sounds into text with 95% accuracy

FeRDNYC

Re: Beware, Take Care, IT is a Crazy FCUKing Jungle out there .... Devoid of Vanquished Prisoners

Sir, this is a Wendy's....

FeRDNYC

Re: This reminds me of the time some customer of mine had a problem with their password

Designers of login screens seem to have woken up to this flaw in their designs more recently.

I mean... to an extent. Yeah, any good login interface will now warn you if CAPS LOCK is turned on while you're typing your password... but that's about it. If anything, I think the infosec world is waking up to the fact that the flaw in login systems is the entire concept of successfully typing out a certain string of characters as a means of verifying a user's identity, not so much the fiddly details of exactly how they type in those characters. Better they just... not do that. Like, at all.

Passwords are a poor means of establishing credentials, full stop. Fortunately, advances in biometrics, key-exchange authentication, federated logins, and other "post-password" technologies are gradually making the humble string-of-characters textual password obsolete. Thanks to built-in browser/OS password-management features, the practice of manually typing in said password (just like grandpa used to do!) is even nearer to extinction. Can't happen soon enough.

FeRDNYC

Re: Bach, Beethoven or Mozart?

I think my favorite part of that is watching the typewriter slide itself across that tiny desk while he's "playing" it, to the point where he has to reposition the thing more than once during the piece. That just seems like one of those things that absolutely could've been worked out in advance, and compensated for... and it boggles the mind how it was not.

FeRDNYC

Re: 2016 called...

I suspect that's because the Skype figure comes directly from that exact 2016 paper, which is cited in this new one.

FeRDNYC

Re: Shift or not is only one bit of information per character

Even better, just use key-exchange authentication instead of passwords. Having the passphrase that unlocks your private key is useless, unless you also have the key itself.

FeRDNYC

Never thought my declining accuracy would work in my favor...

But as long as I'm careful to edit multiple keystrokes by holding down the Backspace key instead of pressing it multiple times, the system is probably pretty screwed for deciphering what the final state of my input actually ends up looking like. (Even better if I use the mouse to navigate around the input field while editing, which I do tend to do.)

BOFH: Zen and the art of battery replacement

FeRDNYC

An attempt to replace the BOFH? Oh, yes, I imagine that would completely sell out the stadium. (Despite the conclusion being foregone. RIP Korev.)

BOFH: WELCOME TO COLOSSAL SERVER ROOM ADVENTURE!!

FeRDNYC

Not even tangentially related, really...

But, one of my favorite moments in Elaine Carroll's always-entertaining "Very Mary-Kate" skits (where she plays both halves of the Olsen Twins, protagonist Mary-Kate and occasional guest Ashley): After Mary-Kate sets the room on fire with pyrotechnic effects during a class presentation.........

Professor: Mary-Kate, use the juice cleanse on the fire!

Mary-Kate: Uh, okay Professor Text Adventure...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUpStXSEKQQ

BOFH: We're an industry leader … in employing idiot managers

FeRDNYC

Not the Kanye/Trump transition!!! Nothing good ever comes out of seeing those two names together.

BOFH: Don't be nervous, Mr Consultant. Come right this way …

FeRDNYC

And just like that...

the existing financial system is suddenly deemed "good enough". Funny how you never appreciate what you don't need until the cost of obtaining it is transformed* into units of bodily harm.

* - (free of charge!)

BOFH: I know of a small biz that could deliver nothing for a fraction of the cost

FeRDNYC

Agreed. You should comment on the episode, instead.

FeRDNYC

Time for a staff cafeteria withdrawal...

If the Boss had been around as long as the rest of us, he'd at least know that he has several currency options for the deposit. The local company in question will no doubt accept deposits in any of: cash, BitCoin, or the form he should be offering -- onion bhajis.

Big changes coming in Debian 12: Some parts won't be FOSS

FeRDNYC

Re: @VoiceOfTruth - Seems like a pragmatic idea

Nice FUD, but a license is a no-backsies agreement. Something obtained under a valid license doesn't magically become "un-licensed" just because someone "changed their mind".

When firmware providers supply their blobs for inclusion in Linux distros, they do so under a license that allows redistribution. A hardware vendor can certainly decide to discontinue that practice and stop contributing any newer firmware, but it doesn't make the firmware they already contributed suddenly non-redistributable. Nor does it obligate Debian or anyone else to hunt down any previously-downloaded copies and terminate them with extreme prejudice.1

The Linux Vendor Firmware Service has already made the appropriate sacrifices to the requisite slavering horde of IP lawyers, to have covered everyone's collective asses on this stuff.

NOTES

1. (Even with illegally-distributed content — which a "change-of-heart" firmware would not be, anyway — a distributor's obligations typically don't extend past halting further distribution of the illegal content. When a company, say, releases a movie they haven't secured complete rights to, they may be required to recall and destroy all of the unsold copies, but they aren't required to hunt down the purchased copies. They may run a buy-back/replacement program for buyers who want a refund or a corrected copy, but it's still up to purchasers of the "bad" version whether they choose to avail themselves.)

BOFH: It's Friday, it's time to RTFM

FeRDNYC

Re: IBM Jargon dictionary

I'm rather disappointed that the (SIXTY-FIVE PAGE!!!) IBM dictionary even contains a facetious — and different from Horst's version — example expansion of ACRONYM ("A Convenient Reduction Of Nomenclature, Yielding Mnemonic Syllables"), but it doesn't define or acknowledge "backronym".

Oxford Dictionaries "traced the word backronym to a 1983 letter from Meredith G Williams in 'The Washington Post'" (according to The Independent), so it'd almost definitely been making the rounds by 1990.

FeRDNYC

LOLWTFBBQ!

"OMG indeed", indeed.

BOFH: The Boss has a new watch – move readiness to DEFCON 2

FeRDNYC

Grues can appear in the most unfortunate of pitch-black places anytime when you don't expect them to...

So can Riddicks, which may be even more terrifying.

FeRDNYC

Not quite the same...

But N jobs ago, in the late 1990s, the company moved sites to one of those standard-issue cube-farm mazes on a large, open-plan floor. (In the Nestlé building in Westchester, NY, in fact.) There, unlike our previous digs, the interior lights were programmed to be turned on weekdays from 8am - 8pm. After that, they would switch over to motion sensors for the other half of the day (or full-time on weekends).

PLENTY of us worked long/weird hours, at that job, so usually there was enough movement for the lights to stay on until around 9, 10pm. But after that, if everyone was hacking away in their cubicles, every 20 minutes the lights would switch off, the floor would be plunged into darkness except for the emergency exit lights, and someone would have to stand up and wave their arms around a bit to turn the lights back on.

The apparent "GO HOME!" implication of the lights switching off, while it may have been effective with Nestlé's own employees, was entirely lost on us.

Dev's code manages to topple Microsoft's mighty SharePoint

FeRDNYC

I think that device is called "meth". Just make sure they get a LOT of it.

FeRDNYC

Microsoft phone support (baggy-pants edition)

2001 is probably well into the era where this sort of thing was waning, as the migration to primarily internet-based support was already well underway by the time Y2K rolled around, but a decade earlier the behemoth that was Microsoft telephone support was truly a wonder to behold.

My own dealings with it were back in the summer of 1993, when my just-survived-freshman-year self parlayed my 1/4-of-a-bachelor's-degree "experience" into a summer job doing on-site development for a business graphics service in Manhattan. The shop operated under a business model where they would meet their clients wherever they were at, technologically, rather than imposing the file-type and -format requirements typical of more regimented, higher-volume services. In order to uphold their claim that clients could submit files in any format, from any application, and have them made into whatever combination of slides, printed documents, etc. they requested invariably meant that preflight involved a fairly robust arsenal of middleware translators, parsers, reformatters, etc. sitting in the path between the customer files and the slide/document printers, and that was where I came in.

Since the bulk of the development was being done in Visual C for their Windows production workflow, at some point during the course of the summer I ended up hitting some issue that, like Mark, left me dialing the support number listed in the software manual.

What a trip. Never before or since have I encountered a phone-support infrastructure so massive in both scope and complexity, not to mention so actively used that it easily justified the entire production. The call center maintained dozens of support queues for all of Bill's various products and services, so at any time there were easily hundreds of callers holding to reach a support engineer. And while we all waited? No canned, tedious hold-music loops for these hopeful petitioners, no sir! Instead, a live DJ "hosted" the on-hold experience, interspersing his musical selections with updates on wait times for the various support queues in exactly the manner of a drive-time radio DJ giving traffic reports.

Considering there was at least one occasion where I spent a solid 45 minutes on hold, the novelty was not unwelcome.

NOBODY PRINT! Selfless hero saves typing pool from carbon catastrophe

FeRDNYC

Re: Uniplex "my God, it chills me just mention the dark lord's name,"

Anyone who still uses any date format other than ISO-8601 YYYY-MM-DD is a sociopath.

FeRDNYC

Re: Uniplex "my God, it chills me just mention the dark lord's name,"

The accountants refused to cut over to the shiny new Y2K compatible version...

Well, that's not really a Y2K bug, it's a Y2K stupidity. PEBKAC "bugs" don't qualify for the Actual Y2K Bug Toteboard. (They remain a featured category on the Schadenfreude Leaderboard, of course.)

I know, there are a surprising number of rules governing this stuff!

FeRDNYC

Yeah, making multi-part form pads was nothing compared to spiral- or comb-binding. Those were both fiddly punishments disguised as gainful employment.

FeRDNYC

Re: Uniplex "my God, it chills me just mention the dark lord's name,"

Ah Uniplex - sadly its licensing system died at the millennium

Oooh! An actual Y2K bug!? After we collectively poured so much time, effort, and money through all of 1999 into preemptively fixing those?

I think that's only the second one I've heard of "in the wild"! (The first being all the Perl-based web templates that rang in the new year by advancing the year from 1999 to 19100.)

This is the military – you can't just delete your history like you're 15

FeRDNYC

Re: Written reports on pron.

Indeed. Hell is other people's porn.

FeRDNYC

Re: We've Probably All Come Across This

Have Simon and Alistair eloped?

Aw, I'm rootin' for those crazy kids. I think they just might make it!

America edges closer to a federal data privacy law, not that anyone can agree on it

FeRDNYC

Re: I'm (still) puzzled.......

Well, on at least one point:

1. The sale of hacked data (e.g. the Equifax hack)

...there is something lawmakers can do to address the problem, and that is: Make it more costly, and less lucrative (in both the financial sense, and otherwise) to collect and keep so much data in the first place. To the point that, hopefully, companies think twice about glomming onto every piece of information they can hoover up, and are more circumspect in their handling of what they DO collect.

If there's less data in third-party hands, and it's better protected, then there will be less opportunity for hackers to acquire it, and they'll come away with less when they do. Or, at least, here's hopin'.

We'd all better hope, because it's clear the only chance lawmakers have of fighting illicit data transactions is if they choke off the supply. To accomplish that, they have a choice: They can either try to educate the public about better protecting their own data, or force companies to curb their appetites.

It seems they've correctly concluded that the education option is a lost cause. (Plus, to your second point, it's awfully hard to protect yourself when companies are pulling shady tricks behind-the-scenes to invade your privacy. Even harder if those tricks are technically completely legal!

So, it's privacy laws all 'round.

Just as soon as they settle on something everyone can agr—ohhhh shit, we're fucked.

Apple dev roundup: Weather data meets privacy, and other good stuff

FeRDNYC

Re: "without associating coordinates with personal information"

While my cynicism regarding this sort of thing is typically more in line with Dan's, the weather data service specifically has clearly grown (in whole or in part) out of their acquisition of Dark Sky.

Witness the latest wacky coincidence: Just as Apple is ramping up their weather offering for widespread usage, a new Big-Red-Banner™ appears on https://darksky.net/ warning of firm shutdown dates for the services. (Those dates have already been pushed back something like 2 years, but it sounds like they've finally reached the, "OK, for serious people, no more extensions" point where they're actually going through with it.)

Dark Sky was never really about data collection. (The web version never even had logins or any sort of user-account featureset — at ALL!) So, even though this is based on absolutely no hard information and ultimately amounts to nothing more than a fantasy narrative on my part, I like to think that the Dark Sky team brought Apple a weather service completely devoid of tracking and spyware features, and with no easy way to tack them on after the fact.

It would be a very Apple thing, if they responded to that situation with a pivot that looks pretty much exactly like what we've just seen, where they end up touting the service's uncharacteristic lack of nosiness as a privacy feature instead.

Seriously, you do not want to make that cable your earth

FeRDNYC

(Obligatory — well, not obligatory, but warranted:)

RIP Keith Flint. \m/,

BOFH: You'll have to really trust me on this team-building exercise

FeRDNYC

Re: Even more disappointed!

I must've missed when Charles Schulz took that gig animating acid trips. (Maybe I was too stoned.)

We can bend the laws of physics for your super-yacht, but we can't break them

FeRDNYC

Re: We canna change the laws of physics!

> "half a billion modem ports"

Yeah, let's not go crazy now. I meant half a million. Which is still a pretty crazy number of simultaneous phone calls to be fielding, during peak hours. (AOL going unmetered in 1996 nearly destroyed us. The company spent the following 18 months frantically spinning up additional banks of modems just as fast as we could get the hardware from 3Com and the capacity from the telcos.)

FeRDNYC

We canna change the laws of physics!

We had one of those, though not quite as colorful.

Back in the late-mid 1990s I worked for a backbone network operator. (Shoutout to ANS.net, long subsumed into UUNet, then MCI, then who knows where?)

One week, our backbone techs had been fielding complaints about round-trip latency in some customer's inter-city (interstate, in fact) link. They route-optimized, they load-balanced, they pulled every trick in the book to make sure data was flowing as smoothly and efficiently as possible from point A to point B.

So much so, in fact, that eventually someone sat down, did a quick back-of-the-envelope calculation, and determined that the link's current latency was consistent with packets flowing between the two endpoints at roughly 0.9 C, aka 9/10 the speed of light!

Further attempts at achieving FTLTCP/IP were immediately halted, and the customer was informed that, regretfully, we would not be able to "clear up" their supposed "lag" any further. Perhaps, as a non-relativistic solution, they would instead consider relocating one of their sites nearer to the other? The speed of light in a vacuum is generally considered a non-negotiable constraint.

(Background: I actually wasn't a backbone operator, rather I worked on our dial-up systems. Which were quite extensive, at the time, because ANS was several years into a massive project to build & operate the network for AOL, by whom they'd subsequently been acquired. — Yes, that narrow sliver of the pre-dotcom-crash 90s was the sweet spot during which AOL had the juice to buy a backbone ISP of its own. For the sole purpose of having a team responsible for keeping their nationwide network of over half a billion modem ports humming along. — Anyway, we all tended to eat dinner together often, so even though I wasn't directly involved in backbone operations I still got to hear most of the stories.)

Distributor dumps Kaspersky to show solidarity with Ukraine

FeRDNYC

"Dicker Dater" feels like a false dichotomy to me. #WhyNotBoth?

BOFH: The Geek's Countergambit – outwitted at an electronics store

FeRDNYC

You realize...

At the close of this one all I can hear in my head is Bugs Bunny declaring, "You realize, this means war?"

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