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* Posts by Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor

320 posts • joined 5 May 2013

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Send printer ink, please. More again please, and fast. Now send it faster

Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

Garbage out, garbage out?

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Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

HOT SWAP PAPER! genius

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Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

You're also allowed to swat smartphones out of peoples' hands if they wander along in a public space looking down and getting in everyone else's way. Or it should be allowed, dammit.

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Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

Owww. We do try. And after the recent run of "and then the cops arrived ..." pieces I tried to head off on a different tack. Also did I mention we're free? And reader-contributed?

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Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

Re: There are so many extarordinary stories

You're right. The On-Call mailbag has more than 300 un-used stories, but we try to bundle them up into seasonal or thematic specials to honour readers' efforts in sending them in.

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Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Back in the 80's

Bob,

congrats on your last day and thanks so much for wasting some of your employer's valuable time by making a comment on The Reg.

Simon.

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Police block roads to stop tech support chap 'robbing a bank'

Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Not a police story...

So a chap I know who worked at a southern fried joint said the recipe for their infamous gravy is: sweep up all the crust granules that fall off the chicken while it sits breeding salmonella under the heat lamp, add water, stir vigorously until it is gravy.

And then there was the time the morning's sweepings hit the floor ....

Not quote your level of mess, but not a good taste either!

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Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

Re: These guys are lucky

Ugh. Sad but likely

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Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

I'm sure we all remember Fax spam fondly

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Headless man found in lava’s embrace

Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

Re: I've got the Looney Tunes theme stuck in my head now

Better than Yakety Sax

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Tech support made the news after bomb squad and police showed up to 'defuse' leaky UPS

Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Batteries can definitely do strange things

Did the screen survive?

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Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

Re: A little off topic, but...

Or imagine how you'd go if you dressed up as Osama Bin Laden and got into the secure area at the APEC Summit attended by the presidents of everywhere. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-H6pU4UbRYE

Cos it happened.

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Trump’s new ZTE tweets trump old ZTE tweets

Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

Yes, the shrewdest. So shrewd he went bankrupt.

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Virtue singing – Spotify to pull hateful songs and artists

Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Confused

the policy covers both

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Warren Buffett says cryptocurrency attracts charlatans, AI won’t change investing

Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

Re: ROFLMAO

Appreciative laughter.

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Oracle pledges annual Solaris updates for you to install each summer

Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Re: Solaris

But a lucrative pimple: if you are still in the SPARC ecosystem the number of suppliers will keep shrinking and Oracle can keep raising prices ... I've heard of old platforms where the handful of remaining vendors and/or service providers can charge whatever they want just to answer the phone.

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Windows 10 to force you to use Edge, even if it isn't default browser

Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Analysis of the email market in 2007?

Ooops, yes, typo. Fixing.

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Drones replace models on Dolce & Gabbana catwalk

Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

Re: I wonder if ...

See comment from "MyffyW" below. One reader knew about D&G. And FWIW there's an ice cream bar down here called "Dolce and Gelato", deliberate pun. Not all poison insects and mines down here.

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ServiceNow unleashes its 'Kingston' release

Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Dear Reg

We don't use it.

We don't get it for free.

It's not a shameless plug.

I believe SN is a significant vendor and we like to make sure we cover significant vendors' new releases as they show how the company and its products are evolving.

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Xen Project's plan after AWS goes KVM: Talk up embedded future

Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Re: This story seems to contradict other recently published stories on this topic

We reported exactly what AWS published and none of that mentioned multi-hypervisor strategies. When we saw AWS' posts we immediately asked AWS for comment. As it happens, AWS immediately reached out to ask us for a correction of an unrelated error in the piece (I mixed up cores and threads). So there goes the "AWS is too busy and you don't matter to it" argument.

They know where to find us and are not shy about doing so.

But AWS never asked for any change to either piece regarding the hypervisor content. I was not aware of the TechTarget piece until today and will refer to it now.

We don't aim to be relevant to vendors. We aim to be relevant to readers. And I'm pretty sure they appreciated reading about a significant piece of news here, first, TWO WEEKS before TechTarget touched it.

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Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

Re: This story seems to contradict other recently published stories on this topic

Nice of them to tell that to Techtarget - as our story states, when we read of the new KVM hypervizor, we immediately asked AWS for an interview about their strategy. And they never replied. Further, their statements to TechTarget contradict the words in their own FAQ, which said all new instance types would use KVM. See our second story for the screen grabs to that effect

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Birds are pecking apart Australia's national broadband network

Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

Re: A culling program

There's about a bajillion cockatoos in Australia. Good luck culling enough to make a difference.

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Samsung's Galaxy Note 8 is hot, but not much more than the S8+

Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Re: Has that intern started yet?

Yes it should. I missed the H. My bad. The production desk will give me a grilling now :-(

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Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Re: Has that intern started yet?

"Hand-write". My bad. And the intern will work in London, not down here in Oz.

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Forget trigonometry, 'cos Babylonians did it better 3,700 years ago – by counting in base 60!

Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Strangely enough ...

FWIW Wikipedia isn't public domain - we can't just lift their stuff.

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Automotive Grade Linux shops for hypervisor to accelerate smart cars

Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

Re: A hypervisor to do what?

Well you have a point about VM speed, but the acceleration I alluded to is in the development of smart cars through allowing them to have one CPU rather than lots.

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nbn™ hits the half-way mark – but has more than half of the job left

Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

Given that the whole point of the NBN was faster, more resilient connections, and every ISP is hitting its customers ASAP once the NBN rolls into town, I think the slow uptake is notable.

FWIW I worry that even a 25Mbps NBN connection would send me backwards from the 16Mbps I've been lucky to have over a 900m cable run for the last 11 years.

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Earth resists NASA's attempts to make red and green clouds

Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Strontium ... dogged

Ha! I was hoping someone would spot that. Made my day, this has.

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Horse named 'Cloud Computing' finds burst of speed to beat 'Classic Empire' in actual race

Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

Extra sugar lumps and a nice brush down for you!

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Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Take offense at "nag"

The alternative was "galloping pet food".

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You just sent an on-prem app to the cloud and your data centre has empty racks. What now?

Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

Re: RC track

Photos please ssharwood at sitpub.com

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Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

Photos or it didn't happen. ssharwood at sitpub dotcom

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Microsoft promises twice-yearly Windows 10, O365 updates – with just 18 months' support

Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Dear gods...

My thoughts exactly.

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Boeing 737 turns 50

Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

Longer

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Reg now behind invisible HTML5 Bitcoin paywall

Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Disappointed in El Reg

Well I'd love to tell you that we plan April 1 gags months in advance and even spend on patent applications to make them more real. But we're just not that organised. And do you know what it costs to file a patent?

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VMware to end support for third-party virtual switches

Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Re: Er... sniff test fail

Thanks B I. Lovely to have you as a reader

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Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Er... sniff test fail

Really? For starters, I won't have my byline on native marketing. And it is Just Not Something We Do At The Reg. Indeed, we mark such stuff as PROMO every time. And we do precious little of that.

Secondly, I think you're glass-half-emptying this. I look at it this story as as finding a customer-only communique, pointing out it will mean a forced migration, identifying a market shift and offered some analysis on how this could be a deeper play.

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Be our Guetzli, says Google, to make beastly JPEGs beautifully small

Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Re: A better solution...

FWIW, when all we have is vaguely-related stock, we have the option to use a tag so it doesn't appear. I do so for most stories. The idea is that if the image doesn't help to tell the story, we don't use it. We also have a size limit on header images to help page load times.

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Hardware 'dislodged' from HPE SAN during cable replacement

Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

Thanks - always nice to know people read deep and see the little fun bits we try to leave inside. Also tried to make that the headline but just couldn't get there.

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Cisco and pals reveal backup bundles for Borg's slow-moving converged rigs

Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

No, my theory is not that these announcements are connected to decreasing sales. I raise the possibility that Cisco, which is on the record in an earnings call and to me personally as saying its converged systems sales are not good enough, might have felt that poorly-integrated data protection could help things along. I put that to Cisco, they deny it, so I am not sure how that comes out as Cisco-bashing.

Reference architectures are pretty dull. The "edge" in the story is an attempt to make them a teensy bit less so.

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Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

Ridiculous theories? All I did was ask Cisco if the fact two of these came along at once was a plan. And I do not point out that everyone can do what Veeam is doing with the Hyperflex API. I point out that anyone else >could<, should they choose to do so. In my conversation with Veeam they told me as much.

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Linus Torvalds explains how to Pull without jerking his chain

Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

No it is a typo. Should be "again" fixing now.

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BOAR-ZILLA stalks Fukushima's dead zone

Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Surely Hog-zilla would have been a better moniker?

Well played. Why didn't I think of that? Don't tell the boss: I have a punning KPI and I don't think I'm going to hit it.

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Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

Also well played

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Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

Well played

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Microsoft to close its social network on a week's notice – and SIX people complain

Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Facebook's 1,871 billion active users.

One wrong piece of punctuation and this is what I - deservedly - get. Fixed it now.

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Sure, we could replace FTNN, says nbn™, if you let the unwired wait even longer for broadband

Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Why do think they think the copper will be need to be replaced in 10-15 years?

I asked IA this and was told I just wanted to fight, was being difficult and should just accept what its board says.

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Mars orbiter FLOORS IT to avoid hitting MOON

Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

Re: CAPS LOCK

Which is why we use it SPARINGLY, rather than for every word.

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3Par brought down Australian Tax Office with >REDACTED<

Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

Re: Or just tell the Amazon Billionaire Jeff Bezos to pay tax

Amazon only has AWS and a Kindle store in Australia. Physical goods coming later this year.

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1.37bn records from somewhere to leak on Monday

Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor
(Written by Reg staff)

Re: why would you believe a government "statement"

Why believe it? Because when a government is confident enough to put out a statement like that, it quadruples the ridicule it invites if proven incorrect. I assume the Indian government has little interest in blowing itself up!

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