Posts by Cap'n wotsit

re Sarah Bee

can't throw pie.

eating it

mmmm piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

re AC "A bit of blade-runnerism"

correct me if I am wrong, but I think Doctor all come came from Johnny Mnemonic the classic cyberpunk book by william gibson, later turned into a film starring keanu reeves, and not Blade Runner (or "do androids dream of electric sheep" by phillip k. dick).

coat with "worlds biggest pedant" on the back please

pics

playmobil pics, with a pair of maltesers in chokey or id did not happen

top gear

I can't wait for it to be mentioned ad nauseam on top gear by messers May and Hammond.

though I do think a re-enactment in playmobil is called for

@ Ben Naylor

"And speaking of ODFO, how about you check what you type before you hit send...

"(I'd deliver unto you an ODFO, but since technically you outrank me as readership spokesman, it would not be politic.)" Do you mean polite perchance? :p"

no I think she is right.

as per http://www.thefreedictionary.com:

pol·i·tic (pl-tk)

adj.

1. Using or marked by prudence, expedience, and shrewdness; artful.

2. Using, displaying, or proceeding from policy; judicious: a politic decision.

3. Crafty; cunning.

it's called English. most of us studied it at school.

mines the one with the copy of the OED in one pocket and a fire extinguisher in the other

Battery Bondage

oh go on then I will say it....

battery bondage...shocking

Next Doctor

I'd do it. got nothing special on at the moment, and I can probably fit the job in in between work and pub. but I would require cart blanche on choosing my assistant and her wardrobe choices

@ AC: Who?

Peaches came from a can.

she was put there by a man

in a factory down town

If I had my little way,

I'd eat peaches every day

Sun-soakin' bulges in the shade

@ Most Unfair AC

Go back to school dumbass, a whale is not a fish, it's a mammal.

@ chris hamilton, nice one for pointing out that wales is a principality, not a country, I was going to do it myself, but you beat me to the punch :)

Lawmaster II?

Sorry but the only flying bike that should be allowed is the lawmaster from Judge dredd, all other attempts should be put in the bin.

mines the one with the belly wheel, ugly cream, bat glider suit, and too much time on his hands in the pocket.

oh and Paris, beacuse if I were a Judge she could play with my helmet any time

@sarah Bee

You know its only a ruse so we can all post messages to you, so you can feel special and wanted ;)

goes and hides mod poking stick in coat of next poster, and runs to the pub

teechers

having read this and having also spoken to a friend of mine who has recently just done his NQT (newly Qualified teacher) year dahrn sarf, this is going to cause the government no end of grief.

AFAIK NQT's get paid IRO 18-19k salary (excluding the london weighting etc)

there is a drastic shortage of teachers in Music, history, maths, IT to name 4 disciplines.

our beloved government are trying to rol out legislation (according to my friend) that all children will stay in school until they are 18 (a la the yank schooling system) by 2010.

our beloved government has already decreed that all teachers should hold masters degrees or similar (can someone advise what the going rate for someone in the private sector gets paid straight out of Uni with a masters degree? bet its more than £19k)

now work out that no one wants to teach because of the low pay grades (see above) those that do teach are going to be even more stretched due to the leaving age increasing to 18.

I can see a mass leaving of teachers to the private sector some time very very soon. and given this ruling I think what we will find is all the good teachers will leave, not wanting to run the risk of having their careers ruined leaving the poor/mediocre teachers to educate our children.

I vote we the people employ someone called Guy Fawkes, he was a man with the best idea to deal with politicians

Dear Moderatrix

if a wood chuck cold chuck wood, how much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?

how do they get the sripes in stripey toothpaste?

is this a question?

is hell exothermic or endothermic?

why?

right that should do it, I'm off to specially prepared positions in the rear

fnark!

Next Years event

maybe next year the police and fire brigade will be able to organise the riot water hoses and "redistribute" the fire trucks in a security cordon around the event to totally Pwn everyone else and have a bit of a luagh along with it. look on the bright side, it would be the first time in a long time a team from leeds won anything....

mines the souwester with the footy rattle in the pocket and fasionable rain hat

and paris, cos she likes it wet

ta

@ tim parker

the "missing 23Gb" is taken up by the vista install, the MS office 2007 instgall, and the R&R partition. vista is already a fat bloater when it comes to disk space. however I have a cunning plan to drastically reduce that. and for the monet it is a pretty good laptop, lets not forget that 64Gb SSD's aint exactly cheap, and my old T60 took a bid for freedom out of my boot one night on the way home (nissan never buy one) and once I had reseated the HDD, CD-R and memory booted first time.

paris, because she likes to be seen with beautiful things

@ anonymous coward

- NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOO NO NO NO,

theres no theres no, theres no limit?

Lets face it, he revamp of Dr Who is brilliant, Battlestar Galactica is to be quite frank jaw droppingly good - even with a female starbuck, and I was one of the "you can't have a female starbuck" crowd, the new Knightrider with the mustang and Val Kilmer as Kitt is also as good, if not better in many ways to the original.

before you start your screaming about a travesty, how about waiting to see if:

a) it gets off the ground

b) who they cast

c) if it's actually any good?

mines the one with the keys to the liberator and the Avon fanclub membership card

George....

umm did anyone else notice

Jo (short for Jyoti) is the daughter of tomboy George, now Aunt George, surely if Jo's mum was George, she would not be Jo's aunt?

unless the famous 5 are all now rednecks.....

mine is the one with the doglead, and bottle of ginger beer in the pocket

ta

Beer in supermarkets

Here is a thought, as beer - proper beer that is (and I include stout in this because I like a drop of the black stuff) is made with yeast, we could hypothetically class it as a food stuff akin to bread, therefore Supermarkets can stock ales, bitters etc.

Vodka and poteen is made from (mostly) potatoes, therefore a vegetable product

ciders and perries are made from apples and pears etc so they could count as fruits (5 a day anyone?)

so all the supermarkets need do is stop stocking stuff not derived from the above products, and the world is a happy and safe place.

Excellent!

the cartoon microseries was awesome, now all I need to do is dust off my jedi cloak, re-energise my lightsaber and i will be fit to mind trick, and use all the memorable lines from the films

[jedi mind trick] this is not the post you are looking for [/jedi mind trick]

St Trinnians

So its not ok to have an obviously no school girl dressed like that, but it is OK to have a whole film of girls dressed like that - I am OFC talking about St trinians, all of the films, not just the latest one. FFS this sort of thing was ok in the 50's - just look at the original St Trinians films with Alastair Sim and George Cole, all the older girls wore stuff alot more provocative than that.

methinks the ASA needs to pull it's collective thumb out of its bum, take a step back and take a good long look at itself

nice pic of the gilr though, and yes i would hit it

oh and whilst we are on the subject - IT angle?

WTF?

Quantum of Solace will follow on from Casino Royale, with 007 "picking up the pieces after being double-crossed by Treasury agent Vesper Lynd".

er I may be wrong here but bond would never "pick up the pieces" the only time he ever showed his true feelings was in OHMSS when he got married and his Wife was Murdered, unless it is to go on a frenzied attack against the evil scum that caused vespa to double cross him....

oh and also where is the IT angle

innuendo free pantomime

also known as a play.

pantomime has to have certain key ingredients:

woman dressing up as man - Principal boy

man dressing as woman - dame (or ugly sisters in cinderella)

poncy fairy - the good guys

totally over the top hamming it for all you are worth evil guy - the bad guy

add a heavy load of smut and innuendo.

add bucket loads of comedy

add messy stuff

result - top quality panto - ours in due to be out in january, we are rehearsing now, and if asked i might be tempted to tell you where!

strangely

they don't have any useless tat, or just plain tat for sale

@Jacob

I *think* you mean 2 numbers...

Bored now

this thread appears to be a "anonymous Vulture posing thread"

stop being an attention whore.

who cares about if some numpty asked his ex wife for a friend request on facebook and she was too neurotic just to delete it, and cost the tax payer 7 days jail time for her ex husband. seriously?

/rant