* Posts by DropBear

4735 publicly visible posts • joined 4 Mar 2013

China wants to bring home moon rocks in moon vacuum

DropBear
Joke

Re: How do they get the vacuum in there?

...not only that, but where does the vacuum go if you let in the air? You can use a one-way valve so nothing can come out while the air goes in, and in the end the vacuum is still gone! How?!? Spooky...!

Voyager 1 now 20 BEEEELLION KMs from the Sun

DropBear

Re: l33t

"Thargoids?"

Worse. Vanduul...

A third of Brits would cough up £300 to ransomware peddlers

DropBear
Joke

Re: More to the point...

"Even then, how could you be sure the critter wasn't lying low somewhere in your data?"

Well, real pros not only reinstall fresh after any infection, but also change architecture, just to be sure: x86 -> ARM -> MIPS -> Z80 -> custom CPU built in Minecraft -> etc...

Stray electronic-magnetic leaks used to harvest PC crypto keys

DropBear
Trollface

Re: Not read the paper then?

Oh, we're operating here according to strict clean-room article-reading principles: we pass judgement strictly based on El Reg articles, avoiding contamination by the original material...

Project Loon ready for Sri Lanka test

DropBear

"Weeks after being released in South America..."

...sooo did the Loons drift with pinpoint accuracy over half the globe from South America to Sri Lanka, did they teleport there directly, or were there simply some trials earlier in South America leading to the freedom of said getting revoked there then reinstated in Sri Lanka...?

Virgin Atlantic co-pilot dazzled by laser

DropBear

Re: @Symon

"You stare into this CO2 laser for me will you?"

Pro Tip: actually reading what you're replying to before knee-jerk urge kicks in might help avoid embarrassment.

Shopping for PCs? This is what you'll be offered in 2016

DropBear

Re: I miss VGA

"VGA will work over a 30, 40, 50m cable even and produce a picture good enough"

Dunno about that. Last time I looked around in-line standalone TV tuners, none of them was capable of relaying the PC's screen through the two pieces of 1.5m VGA cable without clearly visible smear / shadowing / etc - and it was a fairly modest resolution, around 1366x768....

How to build a plane that never needs to land

DropBear
Facepalm

Re: why wings rather than balloons for lift

- If you just want to go up, balloons are great; if you actually want to hold a certain altitude, decidedly less so. It's not really possible to just stay neutrally buoyant passively, and fiddling with the buoyancy invariably gets messy. Major altitude changes are even worse - if you let out gas, you're not getting it back...

- Balloons tend to have the equivalent aerodynamic drag of a flying olympic swimming pool, so even with some propulsion moving them is unwieldy, moving them fast is out of the question, and basically pretty much any wind gets to sweep them away when they just want to stay put.

- Solar wings might be a large-ish target but they're nothing compared to the target surface of any balloon; not good if the point is to avoid detection and/or a rocket on its way up.

- Whether you use hydrogen (ay carramba del los santos kaboom...!) or helium, those tiny atoms tend to just slip through any material and go bye-bye sooner rather than later - now you're either carrying heavy tanks with reserves or you're definitely not staying up "never land" style..

- Plus a million other reasons I can't think of right now but I'm sure exist... ;)

Reluctant Wikipedia lifts lid on $2.5m internet search engine project

DropBear

"Has anyone ever typed wikipedia.com into the address bar first, then searched for their desired article?"

Oh, I don't need to - I just type whatever into the address bar and the wikipedia result page comes right up, since Firefox is sufficiently retarded to insist always using the search source selected in its search box for address bar searches too (and I keep that on wikipedia). It's a bit hard to fathom what the f### is the use of a dedicated search box if it will only search the exact same source as the address bar would at any given moment (instead of having the address bar stay dedicated to, say, Google and the search bar selectable)...

Google wins High Court fight with StreetMap over search results self-pluggery

DropBear

Re: Hmm

I for one much prefer OpenStreetMap and almost never use anything GMaps _or_ Ordnance Survey-tainted.

Send tortuous stand-up ‘nine-thirty’ meetings back to the dark ages

DropBear

"...working or co-operating together..."

Is that where one of us is in charge of putting in all the opening brackets and the other all the closing ones, or the one where I do the other guy's job too...?

DropBear

Heh, Bullfrog... brings back memories of a different kind of "teamwork" involving machine guns - in "Syndicate"... good times.

Putin's internet guru says 'nyet' to Windows, 'da' to desktop Linux

DropBear

Re: ReactOS

The only problem is, at the current pace, the year of Linux on the desktop will come and go before ReactOS reaches production-level usability and stability. Yes, they have something that runs and looks like a windows desktop from far enough. No, it's nowhere near a complete, functional OS.

Why does the VR industry think 2016 is its year? It's the hardware, stupid

DropBear

Re: "we've come a hell of a long way"

It might be the future of gaming, but as long as it costs $600 for what is essentially still a gimmick at the end of the day, it'll be a very, very niche future indeed.

GSMA outlines thoroughly sensible IoT security rules

DropBear

Re: "do it right, or we won't connect your stuff"

Exactly, and I expect that home-wifi-connected IoT stuff outnumbers GSM-connected things by multiple orders of magnitude - this might help with your electricity / gas meter, but hardly with anything you'd install yourself, inside your home...

Australian astroboffins reveal hundreds of hidden galaxies

DropBear
Joke

Nonsense

"We are insignificant."

I strongly object - in fact, I'm on par with a wizard: I can see colours that don't exist! Like pink and magenta! Well, technically so can you (unless you are colour-blind in which case I'm sorry to tell you that you, Sir, are no wizard!), but that only makes my point stronger...

FTDI boss hits out at 'Chinese criminal gang' pumping knock-off chips

DropBear
FAIL

Fakes damaging FTDI's reputation

BWAHAHAHAHAA.... no, dude, they could never possibly touch the monumental amount of damage you did to your own reputation with being a colossal dick - TWICE. I know I'll never, ever design an FTDI chip into anything ever again - there is no such thing as a guaranteed supply chain unless one buys from YOU directly, and that's not something everyone is able to (or want to - see delivery times) do. Oh, and by the way - the clones were actually MORE faithfully following your spec than your own damn chips did - which is why you could erase VID/PID in a clone with the exact same code a "genuine" chip failed to execute due to a bug...

Microsoft researchers smash homomorphic encryption speed barrier

DropBear
Devil

Re: What on earth is this article on about?

"Having read this article, I honestly have no idea what has been achieved, and if it's impressive or not."

In other words, they can now recognize / match handwriting without ever having seen either the written sample itself or the result of the match operation. There, not so hard after all...

DropBear
Trollface

Re: So let me get this right..

"Do Microsoft R&D and production actually ever talk to each other?"

Don't be silly, of course we do! Now here, take this totally free screen saver and please don't be so rude as to ask why it constantly pegs one of the cores or why it connects to the internet occasionally...

Silent Nork satellite tumbling in orbit

DropBear

Re: No telemetry

"I'm surprised they didn't want to transmit even the most rudimentary data."

Unless the conclusion we've drawn ("we're not in it for satellite launches") was the exact message they specifically wanted to send.

AdBlock Plus, websites draft peace deal so ads can bypass blockade

DropBear
Devil

Re: ESSENTIAL ADDONS

*skips over epic wall of essential add-ons* ...sorry, were you just saying something about your browser inexplicably slowing to a crawl...?

DropBear

Re: Firefox 44.0 upgrade kills adblocker and Google

"I think you may have bigger issues than Firefox, mate."

Don't worry (or rather, DO) they're about to become your issues as well - see "Enforced Add-Ons Policy Deferred" and by the way, they say it's already in since 43, only it can still be disabled. For now. In 44. Until 46 lands (which by Firefox version update rate should be in... *whips out pocket watch* ...hold on... just a sec...).

DropBear

Re: hosts

Of course it is. Considering the logical conclusion that the only way to avoid blocking of ads at _some_ level is to own and wall-off the entire computing chain from browser to computer to monitor, cue HDMI DRM focus shift from "not allowed to steal content" to "not allowed to not watch all these commercials" in 3... 2... 1...

DropBear
Trollface

Re: Suggested change of headline

"One-time market leading ad-blocker commits hara-kari kira-hari kara-hiri seppuku." TIFTFY...

DropBear

Re: Here's an idea:

Not gonna work. Just the other day I went to the effort of explicitly removing a specific DIV frame from a certain website's layout (which wasn't even blocked by Ad-block) simply because I don't go to read tech news (or whatever I do at that site, already forgot which one it was) just to be repeatedly presented with perfectly legit, non-animated and silent images of bare feet in excruciating waves of hot, colourful pain that could oh-so-easily be averted simply by using XYZ medicinal compound (oh hi there Lily the Pink).

DropBear

Exactly. And there seem to be some native, built-in feedback mechanisms that converge towards the large players managing to tacitly arrive at much the same customer-screwing conditions even without overt collusion: take it or leave it, except there's no-one else to go to - they all do the same shitty stuff. Also, anyone trying to counter that with "that's an opportunity for someone else to do it better and steal the establishment's business" needs to wake the f### up and realize that the first thing players in any mature industry do is close the door behind them, lock it and weld it shut - to make sure barriers to entry prevent anyone from doing just that.

DropBear

Re: Is someone under the impression...

"For the rest, (irritating text-based adverts, lightboxes and popups), disable javascript."

You know, funnily enough, every now and then something randomly breaks execution of javascript in Firefox, so no scripts run after that until I restart or at least reload the tab. And guess what - you know how I know when that happens...? I know because starting with the very next click the website in question becomes inoperable and unnavigable - nothing happens, because many, many websites just don't use any actual HTML links much anymore. Any action and all links are performed / substituted on-the-fly by scripts - it's like those integrated single-blob-single-url Flash websites, only with less Flash and more javascript (hey - web twopointoh, hell yeah! Wooo wooooo!). So yeah, good luck to you disabling them on anything more elaborate than Wikipedia...

DropBear

I dumped Chrome for good the millisecond it decided it was in charge of arbitrating what add-ons I may or may not run with it, without any override (yes, that's a thing that already happened). Currently using Chromium instead whenever I feel like watching videos without flash (thanks a lot for nothing Firefox).

Trane thermostat is a hot spot for viruses on home networks

DropBear

Re: The real problem

"There's probably a gap in the market for actual qualified engineers to get in and do things properly"

You mean like some of those recent smartphone security oriented startups that were allegedly built on the premise of doing it right, only to be proven just as pwnable as the rest...? Yup, that'll do it...

It's 2016 and a font file can own your computer

DropBear

Re: How did this ever become a problem in the first place?

I'm just winging this from memory so i could be easily wrong, but a mere five minutes into being involved with font design (no matter on how amateur a level) one rapidly comes to appreciate the significant difficulty of rendering all font glyphs _just_ the way they were meant in every possible corner case. If I recall correctly, one of the ways they tried fixing that back in the day was incorporating "instructions" into TTF fonts that were supposed to aid proper rendering of that particular font - as in a sort of full-blown virtual machine provided by the font renderer. Fast forward to a decidedly less innocent world today and I suppose you can see the writing on the wall...

LOHAN entertains the crowd at Oz Linux shindig

DropBear

Re: Acceptable launching area

"There is a strong preference for recovering LOHAN completely dry and ready for a possible relaunch."

Well, yes, except the word "relaunch" implies a previous launch that actually happened...

Fleet of 4.77MHz LCD laptops with 8088 CPUs still alive after 30 years

DropBear
Facepalm

Apparently the unchanged fact that most solid-state electronics are most of the time happily chugging along for decades without any issues (and why should they have any...) is nowadays planning its retirement in favour of the planned-obsolescent modern perception of things being necessarily junk after a mere few years. Let me offer a tentative rule of thumb: does it have a filament or moving parts? No? Then is should bloody well still be working regardless of how old it is...

That's cute, Germany – China shows the world how fusion is done

DropBear
Joke

Naaah, if we start on stereotypes, we'd probably need to talk about "Golden Fortunate Dragon of Radiant Success and Joyous Fulfilment Fusion Facility"...

DropBear

Re: RIBrsiq

As long as corrections require me to conjure up some means to write an email from an address I never, ever actually send anything from (strictly used for logins only) instead of using my logged-in profile with some simple feedback form, It Ain't Gonna Happen.

Reports: First death from meteorite impact recorded in India

DropBear

Re: Karma...

If we all did and that would be the usual form of payback, this wouldn't be news.

Thirty Meter Telescope needs to revisit earthly fine print

DropBear

"That's a fair amount of employment"

Is there though...? Not that I have any actual clue, but in the long term, somehow I don't imagine a finished, functioning telescope site crawling with contractors or hot-dog stands or whatever. I mean, they probably don't even need a night guard... maybe a "day guard"...?

How a power blip briefly broke GitHub's boxes and tripped it offline

DropBear

"Users were served the unicorn-of-fail page"

OMG! Sparklelord! GitHub reads Doctor McNinja?!?

IoT lacking that je ne sais quoi? Try the IoTSP

DropBear
Trollface

Isn't the Internet of People called "Facebook"...?

Leak – UN says Assange detention 'unlawful'

DropBear

"because they hadn't happened yet."

Now isn't that convenient...

DropBear
WTF?

"If they were secret you wouldn't know about them..."

Oh, goody! By that logic, everything Snowden uncovered must have been public domain, so he's free to return home...

Lights out for Space Vehicle Number 23: UK smacked when US sat threw GPS out of whack

DropBear
Trollface

Re: But....but...but......

"So that's why GPS doesn't work at night!!"

Naaaah, that's just because your smartphone's battery is fully discharged by evening...

DropBear

Re: 'precision docking of oil tankers, as well as navigation'

"maybe they didn't manage"

Say what mate? The officer on duty being drunk is the fault of the navigation equipment is what you're saying...?

Autodesk vapourises ten per cent of jobs to go completely cloudy

DropBear
Facepalm

So when do we expect Home Depot and Harbor Freight to start "renting" hammers via monthly subscription instead of selling them? They could even come with a few dozen nails thrown in for free each month! What a steal!

...let me spell this out for you: NO! For me to recurrently pay you each month, you have to actually DO something for me each month, not just allow me to keep doing the same thing I did last month. It might make some sense if we'd be talking about something you do very infrequently - renting a crane or a forklift to lift your brand new lathe into your shop makes more sense than buying one, yes. But software tools just aren't like that - if you needed Photoshop or AutoCAD this month, you'll be needing it next month too - and the next, and the next. And damn if I'm about to start renting my hammer.

New AI chip from MIT gives Skynet a tenfold speed boost

DropBear
Trollface

Re: OMG processors mixed with memory. Chapel Hill NC 1977?

Oh, "deep" is just the new buzzword in AI ever since the dog-dreaming Google AI reveal...

It killed Safe Harbor. Will Europe's highest court now kill off hyperlinks?

DropBear
WTF?

So something found in the top ten Google results is legal to link to, but otherwise it isn't? Something the hosting website itself visibly links to is legal to link to, but if they take down their link mine becomes illegal...?!? STOP THIS NONSENSE RIGHT NOW, you imbeciles!

Firing a water rocket to 1km? Piece of cake

DropBear

Re: 550 kg thrust

"is impressive, but would only lift a VERY small car - a Smart weighs in at 880 kg (empty)."

Nonsense - it's widely known that the only space-worthy car is the Robin Reliant...

Europe wants end to anonymous Bitcoin transactions

DropBear
Black Helicopters

Re: What about good old Cash

"Do you have any proof of that?"

It's a very insidious scheme. The chips automatically detect any attempts to test their existence and remain silent; also, any of the billions of commercial cash test units in use automatically switch places with a non-NFC capable counterpart from a parallel universe as soon as they detect tampering attempts. Finally, clerks willing to disclose their use of the technology (as well as any parties receiving the disclosure) get a visit from the MiB and have to choose between staying silent or disappearing without a trace. </sarcasm>

'Dodgy Type-C USB cable fried my laptop!'

DropBear
Trollface

Re: Who ever designed..

Well, you can always drive a pair of relays depending on the applied polarity...

Uber rebrands to the sound of whalesong confusion

DropBear
Pint

Re: Rearrange the following words...

Go home, Yoda. You're drunk!

Why the Sun is setting on the Boeing 747

DropBear

Jumbo Jet

As a surprisingly minimalistic but quite funky salute to the 747, I'll just leave this here...