* Posts by 's water music

1528 publicly visible posts • joined 31 Jan 2013

Even more warship cuts floated for the Royal Navy

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Coat

Re: Any war with Russia probably will be a Nuclear War

I agree with you that having a Nuclear War makes no sense.

And conventional war doesn't make sense either.

War, huh, yeah, What is it good for?*

Probably not here all week at this rate.

*Absolutely nothing

Boss put chocolate cake on aircon controller, to stop people using it

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The ops manager eventually just went and got the office vacuum cleaner...

Srsly? He didn't unplug an entire rack of kit to power up the hoover? Where's his sense of comic timing ffs?

UK's NHS to pilot 'Airbnb'-style care service in homeowners' spare rooms

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Re: What could possibly etc...

just give me £1k per month. That's it.

I'll do it for a monkey thus offering a saving of 50% to the public purse. Not something to be sniffed at in these times of austerity. For an extra ton, I would consider cutting back on meth too. Everybody wins.

Joking apart I am totally advising my kids to make clear to the Uber-supply teacher at the beginning of the lesson that a five star rating is dependent on unsupervised word-searches for the entire lesson and even looking at the regular teacher's lesson plan notes is an instant 1 and no more bookings

Boss visited the night shift and found a car in the data centre

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Re: Bit risky...

On the way down the power cables had pulled free, and the disk drives had noticed the loss of power and parked the heads while in mid-air.

But did the process have enough time to write 'oh no, not again' to the logs?

You can yacht be serious: Larry might be planning his own version of America’s Cup

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Joke

Re: Left hand down a bit!

Larry really doesn't have a clew

Yes, British F-35 engines must be sent to Turkey for overhaul

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Re: Well that's just great.

The US?

Duh! (s)he said halfway

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Trollface

Re: DoD Contracting

we're busy importing something that doesn't work, that we can't afford, and will be overhauled by an untrustworthy nation veering towards third world autocracy

Wait, what? Are saying it would be better for the engine overhaul to be in Blighty or Turkey?

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Re: F-35 with a damaged wing and a damaged engine.

I would expect that we have skilled enough mechanics to extract the engine from the airframe and send it separately for overhaul.

If they have those skillz then sure it isn't beyond them to carefully replace it into the original packaging, claim it was like that when it arrived and try for a refund

How DeepMind's AlphaGo Zero learned all by itself to trash world champ AI AlphaGo

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Can the new lower powered alphago zero..

...run crysis?

...respond to a trademark lawsuit from The Coca-Cola Company?

Brit spooks 'kept oversight bodies in the dark' over data sharing

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Joke

"Despite what it may seem, people do have an expectation of privacy to some degree on their social media"

Stupid people perhaps.

I suspect that what most people are really pissed about is that didn't like/favourite/retweet the data as they collected it. That's why most people made it public after all.

Joke alert not joke alert --->

Drone smacks commercial passenger plane in Canada

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Re: Pedants handbook in my pocket

Do Not Ask Me How I Know This

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Coat

Re: Pedants handbook in my pocket

The reason that turboprops appear very different is that you can see a large stationary propeller; and that if the blades are rotating, pedestrians need to avoid walking into them :-)

Take it from me, pedestrians are equally well advised not to walk into rotating turbo fan and turbo jet engines. DNAMHIKT

The tattered one please-->

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Headmaster

Re: They seek him here...

As i said, they are NOT "drones".

Their general nomenclature is model aircraft.

Vacuum cleaner is not hoover

I.E. desktop shortcut is not Teh Internetz

'could care less' is not 'could not care less'

literally is not figuratively

hackers are not crackers

...cont. p94

Language is usage. Sometimes you have to admit defeat. Not for 'would of' though.

Android ransomware DoubleLocker encrypts data and changes PINs

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Re: >porn still requires Flash....

it doesn't anymore and hasn't for years

Eeww, I thought we were still talking about toilet's not flushing for a moment there

Night out in London tonight: Beer, Reg and platform wars

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That phone platform you use...

...that's your mum that is

'There has never been a right to absolute privacy' – US Deputy AG slams 'warrant-proof' crypto

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Coat

Re: Missing the first basic step

You could encrypt the phone book, but then it’s entropy would show it was not random

If you use ROT13 as your cypher, it will. For any real encryption - no,

This is why I always use ROT14, because it is one more.

You ain't seen me, right?--->

Outage at EE wrecks voice calls across the UK

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The real story...

...is that there are at least four people who use twitter and claim to make voice calls.

What would Bong! say?

Smut-watchers suckered by evil advertising

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Joke

How many people did this catch out? I can't see it being many as most would be like "I ain't got time for that" when it popped up. Are these sorts of attack on the rise and are they hard to pull off?

come on, you're doing this on porpoise

Leaky-by-design location services show outsourced security won't ever work

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Gimp

Re: Explicit sharing

The only way around this I can see is *explicit* sharing.

I no longer share my explicit photos. Not since the court case.

That one's ok, since you can't tell that it is me--->

Mattel's Internet-of-kiddies'-Things Aristotle canned before release

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Big Brother

Re: an “AI to help raise your child”.

If you honestly think that using technological surrogates to interact with and manage your child is correct, then you shouldn't be having children.

But if you do so anyway, you may well be right.

Personally I was looked after by a sibling when I was small-->

What is the probability of being drunk at work and also being tested? Let's find out! Correctly

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Re: First test

... the first working day of the ear, th echances are pretty low...

Pissed again? Watch out for the tester.

BBC Telly Tax petition given new Parliament debate date

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Re: high % women?

Rather odd this...

and while we are raising conundrums, my oven is electric and gets hot but my fridge (also electric) is cold. How does that fucking work?

Nobel Prize for boffins who figured out why you feel like crap after long-haul flights

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Re: Waka! Waka!

someone's been watching WAY too much of The Muppet Show...

duh! Category error.

'Dear diversity hire...' Amazon's weapons-grade fail in recruitment email to woman techie

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Happy

Also: Bald & ginger? Do you get your pubes out at interviews then or what?

Nope, now the beard is his only visible hair, nobody can tell that he is not a proper ginge.

Microsoft gives all staff a marked-up 'Employee Edition' of Satya Nadella's new book

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Re: Beardy did it first

One page gleefully declared we should hug the colleague next to us.

Well, let me tell you, I found out pretty quickly how much virgin stood behind it's so-called corporate values at the tribunal

Twitter's 280-char blog mode can be enabled client-side. Just sayin'

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Mushroom

Re: Trump-tastic

Now we can declare war on North AND South Korea, and maybe even Nambia, all in a single tweet.

No silly, you don't need to declare war on Nambia, you simply close and lock the wradoobe door.

Come to think of it we could probably reach a mutually beneficial arrangement to share our global warming with their eternal winter and kind of meet somewhere in the middle.

No need for that sort of thing--->

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FAIL

Re: Double trouble

...successes-in-progress...

Could I borrow that for my next project status report? TIA

I won't be using this icon any more--->

UK Home Office re-bans cheap call gateways because 'terrorism'

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Re: All you need is . . .

Telegram's encryption is scientifically proven to be bollocks.

I don't know, they had pretty convincingly disguised that site to look like the Worcester County Telegram & Gazette

Shock! Hackers for medieval caliphate are terrible coders

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Happy

Re: Hormones?

But generally boy scouts don't burn people alive, throw gays out of towers or send letters to the editor complaining about "Sarin Gas Attacks" by evil dictators.

You went to one of them posh middle class troupes then? Get you

Cops shut 28k sites flogging knock-off footie kits and other tat

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My Mum knitted my footie top

Don't laugh. My mum used to make football kit for me in the 70s. It's hard to know which was worse. The shame at school or the cognitive dissonance of hating someone on whom you depend emotionally.

Still, you can save so much over the licensed stuff that haven't hesitated to do the same to my kids

If you need to replace anything other than your iPhone 8's battery or display, good luck

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Lego phones would be sexy.

I agree, but I am not sure whether I should upvote or downvote the PP to indicate this

Shock: Brit capital strips Uber of its taxi licence

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Thumb Down

Uber vs LTDA

Tough call. Surely there is a way that they could both lose?

Mortal combat followed by icon--> for the winner?

You forgot that you hired me and now you're saying it's my fault?

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Powerpoint - 'boring on-screen business wank'

Love that quote.

I really want to but I have experienced so much(*) powerpoint that I'm too dead inside to feel anything short of broken bones or near-fatal soft-tissue damage

(*) more than one

Chap tames Slack by piping it into Emacs

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Re: EMACS. Is there anything it cannot do?

To those with good enough LISP skills I guess the answer is "no."

But philosophically isn't this the same as people in(*) accounts for whom there is nothing that Excel(**) cannot do

(*) when I say 'in' I mean that the original author left the company. The number of intervening years being proportional to the business criticality of the spreadsheet.

(**) or 123 obviously. Your ERP is probably going to based on 123 just because of its age outside of startups.

Behold, says robo-mall-cop maker: Our crime-busting dune buggy packed with spy gear

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Happy

Re: It's all becoming very "Deus Ex"

If you're wondering what the hell I've been smoking, you've obviously not seen Runaway (1984)

Kirsty Alley when she was still hot (0:48 in the trailer since you ask)

Can North Korean nukes hit US mainland? Maybe. But EMP blast threat is 'highly credible'

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Happy

Re: Times like this

When a "tactical time weapon" would be incredibly useful.

I'm pretty sure that future me would have sent one back by now if it were so no, it wouldn't

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Re: Transformers

They're just robots in disguise. I mean, someone had to say it.

NASA Earthonauts emerge from eight-month isolation in simulated Mars visit

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Re: "potato's"?

They had their own greengrocer aboard?

Perhaps it was added by a spelling pedant to stand for the missing E

User worked with wrong app for two weeks, then complained to IT that data had gone missing

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Re: "substituted for"

imagining a realistic scenario where an actor could be seriously injured by the use of a rubber knife instead of a real knife

Act 1

Scene 1

A deserted street.

Enter Alice and Bob, both carrying fearsome looking knives

Alice: Have at you bob, yer bastard.

Bob: Bring it on.

Bob and Alice circle one another and then simultaneously lunge forward with their knives clashing the blades

FX: spark shower and metallic clang Boing sound.

They both fall, fatally wounded hilariously knocked out by their own rebounding blade.

Curtain.

Your boss asks you to run the 'cloud project': Ever-changing wish lists, packs of 'ideas'... and 1 deadline

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Happy

giving people ideas

...a debate I had with an MD of a major corporate about a project, who reckoned his son could knock up the solution in a week. I suggested that the child genius should join the team and show us all how to do the job.

Well fuck you very much because I am pretty sure I work at that company and that MD took up your challenge afterwards. The project-outcome evidence is just too strong for any other explanation.

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Re: Enterprise Architecture

You're familiar with the Crayola Continuum, then? Strong is the force in this Architect...

Ok, you sound like you should know something that I've always wanted to ask. Do you have a technique to stop them from eating the crayons or do you just have to bring toothbrushes and bibs to the design meetings?

Lord Sugar phubbed in peers' debate on 'digital understanding'

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1995 called , They want their politicians back

1995 here. No we don't. And while I'm here, you can have several of ours if you like.

Stuff the movement of celestial spheres, let's sit down and watch Bonnie Tyler on TV

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ringo willy cat, what happened next

Apparently he got out of music and into catering and racism

Tragically his son died, but does the son remind you of anyone? Do I win five pounds?

Twitter is just randomly deleting people's lists – and no one knows why

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Joke

Re: Give the users a break

Its not snobbery. Its just we aren't interested. I logged in once, couldn't work it out - just seemed to be people tweeting links to crap stuff. Logged out again. Never went back.

Indeed. I am so uninterested I won't even comment here.

Wait, what?

In fact I won't even tell you that I gave up watching television years ago.

Bugger!

Violent moon mishap will tear Uranus a new ring or two

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Paris Hilton

Re: NASA mission to smash Uranus needed

Could we do anything to speed this up?

LMGTFY. On second thoughts maybe not from here

Dude who claimed he invented email is told by judge: It's safe to say you didn't invent email

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Re: In that case, I invented the 'slide to open' back in 86

Pretty sure that the toilet door at my parents' house in the mid-70s represents prior art

Fruit flies' brains at work: Decision-making? They use their eyes

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Coat

Re: How?

I was thinking teh exact same thing. These flies are tiny, to tether them while allowing them to fly you'd need to use thread so fine that it's a bugger to work with

I expect JR Hartley might be able to help

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Coat

Re: Time flies like an arrow.

English language is like that. "Alice made an Ikea bookcase with a screwdriver". "Bob made a coffee table with Charlie". How confusing is that to a someone learning English?

I learned English years ago but I am still confused about how Bob got the grains to stick together well enough to fashion a table

Dear rioters: Hiding your face with scarves, hats can't fool this AI system

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Happy

Re: Not forgetting...

...law-abiding trouble makers who attend unorthodox gatherings which are also monitored by Police with Cameras so they can work out who to add to their watch list of non-Right thinking people and exclude them from jury service.

Wait, you mean I could dodge jury service just by going to a couple of soap-dodger festivals? Is there a renewal period? Why did the Contractors' Guild not tell me this already?

Google, propaganda, and the new New Man

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Re: Lying is always bad propaganda, because it deceives and misleads the people

Au contraire, Lying is the best propaganda isasmuch as it is the only propaganda. If it isn't some sort of lie it isn't propaganda by definition