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* Posts by 's water music

1128 posts • joined 31 Jan 2013

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Cops: Autonomous Uber driver may have been streaming The Voice before death crash

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Calling it "autonomous" lulls the driver in to a false sense of security

Duh! they should of (sic) called it autpilot as any fule kno. Everyone understands what that means in terms of driver assist systems

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Dawn of The Planet of the Phablets in 2019 will see off smartphones

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Re: Health Risk?

Am I the only person who buys shirts with pockets? I simply can't imagine carrying my phone where it's difficult to get at when I'm sitting on the bus/at the office/relaxing at home.

Since phablets appeal strongly to myopic older men I always assumed that people carried them in their cargo shorts pocket like I do

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Dixons Carphone profits drop 24% amid hack 'n' high street struggles

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Re: why don't they (...) die at last?!

I've looked very carefully and am completely unable to spot whatever point it is that you're making.

Me neither but I thought it was pretty well made all the same

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MSDN unleashes a fresh round of unintentional innuendo bingo

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Re: Back to School

At the risk of sounding pious, I stopped sniggering at this kind of thing at some point during my time at primary school.

Life comes at you fast doesn't it? Of course formal education crushes a lot of the joy out of many of us but also affords a glimpse of untold intellectual riches. One hopes that it will leave you with some of the former and inspire you to pursue the latter but sadly it can easily work out like Larkin's mum and dad.

I am absolutely sincere in my wish that you will someday rediscover the joy of a good knob gag alongside your loftier pursuits.

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National ID cards might not mean much when up against incompetence of the UK Home Office

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Joke

In my case, they kept my passport for seven months for a single visa application

I thought you were complaining about how long it took, not boasting about how quickly you got it fast-tracked. Although I have used the icon to indicate irony, I'm not really joking.

In the interests of balance I can confirm from, personal experience, that the home office have been fucking over people's lives in the arena of immigration and asylum since well before the coalition government. Perhaps May's genius was to take the famously 'not fit for purpose' department and redefine its incompetence as a performance target.

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Developer’s code worked, but not in the right century

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>> "...and it still occasionally gets presented with new user variants that need extra coding - or a human doing the interpretation."

You mean like 02/03/18, 2nd March or 3rd Feb? Almost impossible to identify with certainty, even if you do know the nationality of the user. Sanity checking ism't likely to much help except in specific circumstances.

Au contraire, sanity checking reveals that any sane person would mean 18th March 2002, although they would have written it as 2002/03/18 so maybe it is still ambiguous. One from @VinceH perhaps?

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Anonymous Coward

Large supermarkets & banks were the first commercial organisations to embrace IT

Tearooms shirley?

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Audi chief exec arrested over Dieselgate car emissions scandal

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Re: Bureaucracy rules...

...what?

HE SAID... wait, what? I see.

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PETA calls for fish friendly Swedish street signage

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Happy

Re: @handleoclast

I believe you should of called these 'Boring Opinions'

Upvoted for trolling with 'should of'

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Keep your hands on the f*cking wheel! New Tesla update like being taught to drive by your dad

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Re: The Merc solution

Not sure whether it actually pulls over or just stops you in your current lane (no doubt the fast one). The latter would then become exciting very quickly...

I dunno, how long is going to be before a Tesla comes along and barrels into the back of your Merc? You don't see that many of them on the road yet.

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Re: Auto-crash-pilot

You would be able to keep a safe braking distance from the car in front to start with, at which point the auto-pilot's reaction (full on braking the instant it sees the stationary car) would prevent the collision.

I thought the issue was that, in common with similar systems, the Tesla cruise control ignores stationary objects that it detects once the vehicle is doing a certain speed to avoid the risk of emergency braking on high speed roads which is, perhaps, counter-intuitive to many people who have seen what the cruise control is capable of handling. I presume that the baking after hitting the inflatable car was either as a result of the Tesla detecting the impact or was done by the driver having made his point and knowing that there was another real vehicle in front of the inflatable one, or both.

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Creepy software knows what you are about to do... to that poor salad

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Gimp

Training set selection

Hmmn, I can forsee some risk of awkward predictions from an AI trained by watching a selection of salad tossing videos

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Men are officially the worst… top-level domain

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Re: so?

yup, the 'new' gtlds are an even better heuristic for 'sites/emails with which I want nothing to do' than businesses with Facebook pages. I say keep them there

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So net neutrality has officially expired. Now what do we do?

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Re: Eventually ...

Eventually your TV screen will look a lot like your computer screen: constant banner ads, animations running constantly in the corner. Maybe a handy animated calculator named Addy will pop up and guide your choices.

Yeah, but Ow My Balls though. Shuddup!

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IBM to GTS: We want you to 'rotate' clients every two years

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What are the chances that the engineers will have to fund their own training?

Time probably, if not money. On the plus side (perhaps) it suggests that big blue expects its remaining GTS staff to last longer than 24 months on average

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Hmmm, we can already seize your stuff, so why can't we shoot down your drone, officials mull

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Re: Do Americans shoot at commercial aircraft?

I can see issues with low end government agency types drunkenly shooting at normal airliners with an excuse they thought it was a drone.

This one is a drone and that one is an airliner that is far away

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Schadenfreude for UK mobile networks over the tumult at Carphone

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Re: Internets for the win!

>>[replacement for Moto G4: Nokia 7+?]

I was looking at the Huey Honour 10 it's a lot of phone for the money.

It's still a lot of money for the phone even if spectacularly greater value than current flagships (I mean the GBP400 rather than the Honor 10 specifically).

I've been thinking about both of those for a similar upgrade scenario, then I look at the Moto G6 and wonder what I am really getting for the extra GBBP100-170. Then I reflect that my 40-month-old phone still works well enough despite the cracks at the top of the screen which will probably kill it eventually.

Of course my opinions are driven by my own bias, prejudice and use-cases

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Re: Internets for the win!

For example, the 64gb iPhone 8 with 8gb data on Voda is £79 + (24 * £57) = £1447

or handset direct from Apple and equivalent contract from smarty is £799 + (24 * £15) = £1159

Giving a difference of £288 for the loan.

A shade under 18% APR I think so not ridiculous for unsecured consumer credit. It depends on whether you have the capital, what else you would be doing with it instead and the utility of the handset to you. Whether it is worthy of debate depends on whether the sum are material to you or not

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MH370 search ends – probably – without finding missing 777

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Re: How do you design a jet engine to float?

Have you actually ever got a jet engine on a set of scales and compared it with a duck to see if they weigh the same and therefore float?

So is it the engine or the duck that is a witch?

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BOFH: Their bright orange plumage warns other species, 'Back off! I'm dangerous!'

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Happy

Re: One evening about ten year ago...

The tow truck was there promptly, and they weren't very gentile.

Was that deliberate to annoy the redneck even more?

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America's comms watchdog takes on the internet era's real criminals: Pirate pastors

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Joke

Re: italics and/or bold (and sometimes strike) for emphasis work better in this forum

Well, my local county council are fuckwits so about 10 years ago they advised students and unemployed people on their training schemes that CVs should be in Comic Sans

I wonder if it was some sort of overspill from education policies? In the days when fonts cost actual money and DTP (of a sort) was becoming available in education, Comic Sans was one of the the few widely available, free fonts whose glyph for lower case 'a' was the more hand-writing like style. Its use became wide-spread in primary education and may have bled through from LEAs to LAs.

These days, of course, its primary use is to smoke out typography bores :-) although your example might have just been a Tory Councillor have a joke by fucking with the local unemployables

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Uber robo-ride's deadly crash: Self-driving car had emergency braking switched off by design

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Happy

Re: "traveling on a well-known test route"

Well known to who exactly?

It's to whom, not who I live with

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Hitler 'is dead' declares French prof who gazed at dictator's nashers

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Re: Death of Conspiracy theories?....not likely.

>>1 Brain 1 Jar?

Two dictators, one cup?

Whoops, sorry. Wrong chat window

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Re: Death of Conspiracy theories?....not likely.

1 Brain 1 Jar?

Two dictators, one cup?

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Want to know what an organisation is really like? Visit the restroom

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Re: We need some ...

Then there was the time some druggie decided to cut themselves pretty good or so something, because there was enough blood on the (thankfully, tile) floor that I dumped the industrial 'destroys ALL LIFEFORMS' grade cleaner straight out of the jug on the floor and let it sit for a couple minutes before mopping that disaster up.

DNAHIKT you shouldn't underestimate how much blood can be habitually released by chronic Nobbies. No excuse for not cleaning up after yourself though.

Most people I ever worked with in offices gave a passable impression of adult humanity. Teh Toiletz tell another story, sadly.

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Sysadmin hailed as hero for deleting data from the wrong disk drive

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Re: Personal Tragedy

If you're using a proper camera with removable card storage, there is a simple way to do photo backups. When the card gets full, stick a new one in and put the old one somewhere safe. SD cards are cheap enough nowadays to consider them as write-once media and they certainly don't take up much space!

SD cards are also fragile enough that you should not rely on them as ever-read-from-again media

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Facebook Android app caught seeking 'superuser' clearance

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Re: Oh Sorreee! Sorree!

Looking back I am never sure whether it was stranger that I spent years misreading Rogue Trooper as Rouge Trooper or that I never wondered more why the hell he would be called Rouge

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We've found it! A cloud-and-AI angle on the royal wedding

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Re: Now that

Absolutely fed up to the back teeth with this shit.

An antiquated, archaic system that should be disbanded.

Hang on. I based much of my IT career on antiquated, archaic system[s] that should be disbanded. Although, to be fair, some days I am also Absolutely fed up to the back teeth with this [that] shit

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Hacking train Wi-Fi may expose passenger data and control systems

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Re: Security researcher clickbait

Just another variation on the theme of "I hacked a plane by plugging into the infotainment but have no evidence to back my technically impossible assertion but please give me lots of coverage"

Yeah sure but can you be certain that would not be possible to bridge from the train ethernet to the nuclear launch codes? Ok he may not be able to but CAN WE AFFORD TO RISK IT? Also what if the researcher had been a PAEDO?

I've started already-->

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Scrap London cops' 'racially biased' gang database – campaigners

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Re: Sadly

>>" I'd you were 5'11" would you be happy to be stopped and searched every couple of weeks?"

If it made sense to target gangs and / or gun and knife crime then yes, absolutely.

I would be as well because

1 I have nothing to hide and hence nothing to fear

2 The police have an excellent record in not fitting people up when they lack evidence but know they are guilty

The whole point with institutional racism/structural inequality is that individual participants on the power side of the equation can often have good intentions but the harm is still real even if the correlation being used is quite strong

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Trademark dispute by Dr Dre against Dr Drai the gynaecologist dismissed

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Paris Hilton

Re: Dr. Drai

Is he also know as 'The Vagina Pedagogue' ...?

ultimate mansplainer?

icon--> well duh

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Size does matter, chaps: Oversized todgers an evolutionary handicap

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Re: Cock size

Genitals change and evolve very quickly indeed according to selective pressures

stop, please

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Great Western Railway warns of great Western password reuse: Brits told to reset logins

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Re: No email here

I just went on to reset my password only to find that the existing (browser remembered) password didn;t work. I hadn't reached the point in the article that mentioned the general reset nor seen the email from GWR that only arrived five minutes ago. Normal password reset process worked ok though.

Email said my account was not breached but they had forced a password reset anyway

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German sauna drags punters to court over naked truth

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no happy ending?

letters-->igmc

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VMs: Imperfect answers to imperfect problems, but they're all we have

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culture wars... ...in a good way

I think that the article (and most of the comments) could be summed up in the old direction advice: "the best way to get to over there is not to start from over here" yet here we are, and as well as getting to there we have to balance competing (and contradictory) goals, resource constraints, legacy investments and organisational politics. Take three axes of success and you can pick (at most) two of them. Achieving at least one is a better-than-average day in my book. We need both the single track, mission-poster nutters as well as the pragmatists to move forward in balance as there is not right answer and no point pretending that there is.

This sort of diverse, opinionated, unpredictable, irreverent but mostly constructive and respectful discussion is what I have always liked about el reg

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Birds can feel Earth's magnetic fields? Yeah, that might fly. Bioboffins find vital sense proteins

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Re: How would it feel?

You know how you can make a magnet by pointing a length of metal, eg a screwdriver in line with the earths magnetic field and striking it? That was a hell of a "strike" 65 million years ago when birds were still dinosaurs.

So you are saying that this is some sort of racial memory of being successed by a meteor when dinosaurs roamed the earth? I would say that sounds legit except surely the dinos/birds would have had to be dynamised by extreme dilution. And Requel welch would be able to sense magnets too. How does that fucking work? :-)

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My Tibetan digital detox lasted one morning, how about yours?

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Happy

Other Spas are available

"Women prefer their best friends to their husband, study finds"

https://www.indy100.com/article/married-women-prefer-best-friends-husbands-study-research-champneys-health-spa-relationships-8293491

Luxury vendor commissions survey which discovers that people prefer consuming their product to alternative activities. It must have been a relief to marketing when the result went the way they were hoping

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I say, I say, I say: What's the difference between a king penguin and liquid?

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Re: What's average airspeed velocity

loaded or unl...

...oh, never mind

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Elon Musk's mighty erection fires sperm at orbiting space station

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Re: confirmation classes

This is NASA. They wouldn't use dirty sheets. They'd spend oodles of money on astro-wanking-socks.

True that. Still, with the increase in home working these days they should be better placed to defray their costs in a larger market.

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confirmation classes

From the article:

> but there have been no confirmed cases low-Earth ejaculation so far.

Now, I am not a doctor or a professional in any other biological science, however, my understanding from vaguely remembered biology classes... [a need to drain reservoirs]

Emphasis added to confirmed. It just means that they bundle up the dirty sheets and stuff them into old supply capsules without thinking too much about how starchy they are

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2001: A Space Odyssey has haunted pop culture with anxiety about rogue AIs for half a century

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Re: "the monolith is a representation of a wideframe cinema screen rotated 90°."

Nope, sorry. The dimensions of the Monolith are explicitly given as being in the ratio 1:4:9 - the first three square numbers. The ratio of a cinema screen is 2.35:1, not the necessary 2.25:1.

I applaud your pedantry (obvs) but must also point out that 6*9<>42

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Tech’s big lie: Relations between capital and labor don't matter

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Re: Where did it go wrong?

Today, thins have evolved. Commodity hardware has become cheap as chips - you buy but a pi zero (faster than the Vax I worked on ~27 years ago) for the cost of a round in London pub.

I call bullshit until you can name a London pub where you can get a round for GBP15 or less

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10Mbps for world+dog, hoots UK.gov, and here is how we're doing it

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Happy

Re: We put a man into space/landed on the moon? between 1961 and 1969.

umm, pretty sure that was the septics...

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Take the dashboard too literally and your brains might end up all over it

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Happens mostly with older cars of course, but modern cars often stay on the road for 15-20 years.

isn't a modern car that has stayed on the road for 15-20 years an old car by then?

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Slap visibility beacons on bikes so they can chat to auto autos, says trade body

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Re: Education

I always thought that lighting was supposed to show a STEADY or STATIC white lamp at the front of a bike or vehicle and equally the same (in red, of course) for the rear, so doesn't that make the flashers (if you pardon the expression) technically illegal?

You were correct until over a decade ago*. Here is some education. You're welcome.

*there are an awful lot of UK non-compliant bicycle lights on the market and in use

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User asked why CTRL-ALT-DEL restarted PC instead of opening apps

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Re: Feeling Old...

I'm getting the impression that the whole development of personal computing was driven by the desire to play games?

8-bit (or text based) graphics were not so well suited to teh pronz so what you gonna do?

maybe that -------->

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Windows 10 to force you to use Edge, even if it isn't default browser

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Re: Do the right thing

"It's with whom I live not who I live with"

Ah, so it was you I saw leaving my Aunt's house the other day...

I am feeding the South Sea Bubble whilst Auntieis on her hollibobs

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Re: Do the right thing

...for who.

It's with whom I live not who I live with

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China to offer recoverable satellites-as-a-service

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About time that ALL satellites were made recoverable

They need a deposit scheme. They could use Newsagents as the collection network. They already have the experience

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Google to 'forget me' man: Have you forgotten what you said earlier?

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"The delisting would be a specific url / news article when the search term was NT2's name."

How would the URL/news article be specified? If it's just existing material listed in the court case it wouldn't protect against someone rehashing the material and publishing a new article. The only way to deal with the latter case would be for Google to review any new material featuring the name or variants of it as they're encountered.

I imagine it wouldn't suppress new material. If such were to emerge it would be up to NT2 to seek an injunction against the new publisher (which would presumably be easier than against contemporaneous publishers) and/or a delisting request with Google (which would presumably also be easier by reason of precedent)

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