* Posts by NXM

378 publicly visible posts • joined 12 Sep 2012

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The UK Digital Information Bill: Brexit dividend or data disaster?

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Re: A gift?

It's 'much more swiftly'.

And, comrade, you should stop posting. a) you're drowning in downvotes, and b) your keyboard is melting because of your frantic desire to drown. Go and take a tranquilliser.

Garlic chicken without garlic? Critics think Amazon recipe book was cooked up by AI

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Re: "if there is a real Luisa Florence writing these books, we can only apologize"

I tried making a meal out of one of our cock-a-doodle-every-morning-at-5am coqs, and it turned out to be made of string. Even after 4 hours of careful cooking, it was still string.

Australian techie jailed for accessing museum's accounting system and buying himself stuff

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Re: How dumb can you get???

Crims are usually a bit thick, that's why they're crims. It's the clever ones you have to look out for.

Rancher faces prison for trying to breed absolute unit of a sheep

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Re: Ovine Park

Very good advice, Dave 126.

You might also try Forklift Driver Klaus, whose first day on the forklift doesn't go well.

Caffeine makes fuel cells more efficient, cuts cost of energy storage

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cold fusion

This is clearly why no-one could replicate the infamous Fleischmann and Pons experiment: somehow a very strong espresso got into the reactor and whoooosh! The researchers who tried to replicate it, and Fleischmann and Pons themselves, never knew the secret so the world lost a perfect power source.

Home Office’s shiny immigration system glitches causing delays

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Re: Hmm

Because some authorities misuse power like that as soon as they get the opportunity. Using anti-terrosism laws against people who put the bin out a day early. Or fining people who have to have a piss in a layby using a clause in a law that was repealed years ago. Or fining people for parking somewhere the double yellow lines have long worn away.

It would take seconds after ID cards came in before some jackbooted microbrained goon from the local council was shouting "Papers! Papers! Schnell, Britisher pigdog!" at people.

Copilot can't stop emitting violent, sexual images, says Microsoft whistleblower

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Feedback

How do we know these things aren't using output from other ones to train on? Will they disappear up their own electronic arses eventually?

Toyota, Samsung accelerate toward better EV batteries

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Re: solid state batteries - the EV holy grail

It took decades to commercialize li-ion cells.

Japan's SLIM unexpectedly wakes up on Moon after month-long nap

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Re: "unexpectedly wakes up on Moon after month-long nap"

Can the froglets push it upright again?

London's famous BT Tower will become a hotel after £275M sale

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Re: "BT" Tower

Well you can see the Horizon from the top!

I see the Post Office as a redoubtable institution unfortunately brought low by a bunch of scheming liars in its own management and contractors. It could come back into it's own, I think, if handed over to the postmasters leaving Fujitsu and the top brass with the bill and a view of a brick wall from their cells.

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"BT" Tower

I hope they revert it's name back to the GPO Tower, it's not BT that built it.

I read the central concrete pillar holding it up is strong enough to survive a nuclear blast, as it was absolutely necessary for comms during a possible war.

Self-taught-techie slept on the datacenter floor, survived communism, ended a marriage

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cuban

He showed her his heels

Tesla's Cybertruck may not be so stainless after all

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Re: My knives and forks don't go "rusty"

I sometimes used to work on a shipyard and they had a quarantine area for stainless parts so they'd never come into contact with mild steel. If they did the mild would contaminate the stainless with rust, and then once started it would spread and make the part useless.

'Crash test dummy' smashed VIP demo by offering a helping hand

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Re: Ouch

Very good advice, thanks for that.

When things like this happen I can normally get away with it by re-doing the tracking but leaving everything in the same place. That way I can still use the paste screen.

NXM Silver badge

Re: Ouch

"But then again, aren't we all lazy and make assumptions?"

You're so right. Only this morning I realised I'd bought 4500 of MCP6001R op-amps instead of the usual MCP6001 with no R assuming it was an industrial temperature range or something (they were a bit cheaper at the time).

Oh no, the R means the power pins are swapped, so if I use them on existing designs they short the supply. I'll have to redesign some boards to use them. Durrrr.

Joint European Torus experiments end on a 69 megajoules high

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success!

Same thing occurred to me. Either they go out on a high or accidentally destroy the kit which was going to be decommissioned anyway - worth taking the risk. Top marks to everyone involved.

CERN seeks €20B to build a bigger, faster, particle accelerator

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Re: My lifetime income is directly proportional to the cost of...

Use entangled pairs of particles in a linear accelerator. When one reaches the end, it reappears at the start at the same speed while the other one is halfway along.

Simples.

Tesla power steering probe upgraded after thousands more incidents reported

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Re: Lucky for them...

I'm pretty sure the current BMW "Mini" is bigger than the original Maxi. And btw the current Mini Countryman is the ugliest vehicle on the road.

FBI confirms it issued remote kill command to blow out Volt Typhoon's botnet

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Re: Explain again to me

Not just aircraft stuff - pretty much any business that uses NC machinery has old computers which they just hope will continue to work because there's no choice, as others have pointed out here. Older drive computers tend to use proprietary interface hardware which can't run on a newer machine and whose drivers just won't install on new computers.

I bought a new PCB assembly machine last year (cost lots and lots of £'s but it was either that or close the company as my last one that used Win95 mechanically wore out) which has a linux PC to drive it - but the control software is actually under DRDOS in a virtual machine. Its just too expensive to ditch old technology whenever the OS changes. I know people running DOS PC's with Hercules graphics adaptors and a green screen for goodness sake.

Japanese government finally bids sayonara to the 3.5" floppy disk

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analogue "digital" storage

My favourite in this field is the 1-bit audio chips you get in cards and toys that play annoying tunes. They have a programmed rom, but instead of holding a bit that's either on or off, each memory cell stores an analogue voltage. The chip samples each cell in turn, copies the voltage via buffer amp, and thus reconstructs the analogue sound waveform. Sounds bloody awful, but it does work.

And I've found many other "digital" chips to be surprisingly analogue, particularly when used outside of their expected parameters. Most recently a Microchip processor that /doesn't/ properly shut down when operated at below its rated supply voltage in a fault situation, and allows its outputs to go into a low-impedance state that it really shouldn't do (according to the datasheet, and you trust those at your peril anyway).

Techie resurrects teletext on a vintage BBC Master

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Re: "Flash"???

It's straightforward to get a machine to read from flash instead of eprom, they're almost pin-compatible. And flash can be reprogrammed without the use a UV eraser first.

Hats off to this fellow for reviving some ancient technology!

We put salt in our tea so you don't have to

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Re: Here in Blighty

Lovely, I'd like one of those. It should be paired with an Excelsior teacup - not a broken one either.

https://www.yourprops.com/USS-Excelsior-Cup-and-Saucer-replica-movie-prop-Star-Trek-VI-The-Undiscovered-Country-1991-YP807983.html

FYI this comment thread is the best one on El Reg for ages.

Standards-obsessed boss ignored one, and suffered all night for his sin

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On a tilt was...

The Leaning Tower of Processor?

Software troubles delay F-35 fighter jet deliveries ... again

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"upgrades"

Will it put a pop-up on the display every now & again telling you to buy the new F365 Office Suite?

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Re: Once Upon A Time At Hawker-Siddley...............

I saw a Harrier at an air show when I was a kid, and it was the most phenomenally loud thing I'd ever heard before or since. Including a steel rolling mill.

Probably why I've got tinnitus (either that or the Hawkwind gig I went to in 1985).

WTF? Potty-mouthed intern's obscene error message mostly amused manager

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Wasn't there a film about it but someone missed the space out? The Kings Peach where he just loves stone fruit?

Official: Hewlett Packard Enterprise wants to swallow Juniper Networks in $14B deal

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HP vs reality

How long before they sue Juniper's management for "misleading" them about the value of the company?

Former Post Office boss returns CBE to sender over computer system scandal

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Re: How many fraud and theft cases in the 80s?

"It's just as unlikely that all 700 were dishonest as it is that none of them were."

True. There's been a lot of talk this morning about the possibility that real fraudsters will get away with it.

But a successful prosecution would probably depend on Horizon evidence, which we know can't be trusted. So the PO has denied itself the ability to uncover any real fraud unless there's independent evidence. Tough titty then.

New year, new bug – rivalry between devs led to a deep-code disaster

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Re: The real lesson...

No no no and no again.

I write in assembler because C is too slow and hard to handle, no good at all for real-time stuff. I did an addressable led driver on one of the cheapest processors available which has about 4 instructions to do something, and C would take too long.

How the Xbox Series X fridge chilled our holiday spirits

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Sellotape

Not techie or 2023, but the electric sellotape dispenser I bought in the early 80's. People asked 'why do you need an electric sellotape dispenser?'

Fools.

‘I needed antihistamine tablets every time I opened the computers’

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Re: Not to whine about it ...

I'd blame CO2 as well, it can be really dangerous especially because it's heavier than air and doesn't waft away in still conditions.

Round here a farmer's son went up the ladder to the top of the slurry tank (a very large, open-top cylinder for cow ... errr ... produce) for some reason. The CO2 overcame him and he fell in. His dad went up to try to pull him out and fell in too. Both died.

This could still wing its way to you, if you have the dosh: One Concorde engine seeks new home

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extreme shed demo

Here's a complete nutter with an RB211 engine on a trolley running it up to full power. Top respect to him.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=z8bIXeM0RJ8

You don't get what you don't pay for, but nobody is paid enough to be abused

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Re: is 10x $$$ normal?

In my village a lorry driver forgot to put the handbrake on and his lorry demolished BT's cabinet. The entire village was off phones and broadband for weeks, so having more lines wouldn't have helped!

Enterprising techie took the bumpy road to replacing vintage hardware

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Re: the pointy end

I know this to be true, as I worked in the auto test department of an aircraft manufacturer for a while.

The place was full of ancient computers that had to be kept running until every last one of the aircraft they'd been used on were out of service, because if you used anything else you didn't know if the tests were valid or not. Think Winchester drives, azodye printers and computers made entirely out of 74 series chips. Every now and again something would go wrong and a guy would turn up to fix it. One HP guy saw this creaking fossil he was asked to fix and said, "wow, I've not seen one of those for years, can we have it for the museum?"

The answer was "No, we're still using it!"

Sometimes people would smell smoke and would run around trying to find out which one of the prehistoric machines had overheated, but it usually turned out to be smoke from a bonfire outside.

HP exec says quiet part out loud when it comes to locking in print customers

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Ecotank printer

I got my mother one because recently, every single time I visit, the HP printer has run out of one colour, and she can't fit a new cartridge (too fiddly for her). Just after I've left, another one takes the opportunity to run out so the useless machine stays useless.

The ecotank one can be refilled when I'm there so it lasts till next time.

Musk tells advertisers to 'go f**k' themselves as $44B X gamble spirals into chaos

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murder chickens

They're so smart all you need to do to outwit them is stick some wobbly eyes to the back of your hat. They only attack when you're walking away.

Oh, and if your gander does attack, grab him by the neck and swing him around a bit. He'll think twice ... for a day or two. Stupid bastard.

Bank boss hated IT, loved the beach, was clueless about ports and politeness

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hammer

We call that a Sheffield screwdriver

Car dealers openly beg Biden to put brakes on electric vehicle drive

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rust heaps Vs nothing

In the 1980's there were loads of Japanese cars in the UK even though the quality was less than perfect, and almost no American ones. The US auto companies basically refused to make right hand drive cars, so you couldn't buy them. They only started to sell here when they got desperate, and even then hardly anyone wanted gas guzzling chrome mountains.

Virgin Atlantic flies 'world's first fossil-fuel free' transatlantic commercial flight

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Re: Hydrogen

This is definitely true as demonstrated by the Hindenberg, which went up really well but came down again a bit too sharply.

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oil supply

In order to provide all that used cooking oil, we're all going to have to eat more chips (fries for left-pondians). But then the planes will be able to carry fewer people because we'll all be morbidly obese, so we'll have to eat more chips again to provide extra oil, then the planes will carry even fewer people, so then .....

Why have just one firewall when you can fire all the walls?

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Re: We've all been there.

Yes, we've all passed a lot of water under that bridge.

Japan Airlines fuels up on hydrogen hype with eye on cleaner skies

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Re: Thinking outside the box

I always thought that Agatha Christie made a big mistake not setting a murder mystery on an airship. It has everything required for the story: a collection of rich, well-dressed characters who can have a mixture of motives, a closed environment for days while travelling over the ocean, a bar and sumptuous food, possibly rebellious servants, and a method of getting rid of evidence by dropping it out of the window.

When it comes to personal data, we're on a highway to hell

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Slurpage

I made the mistake of pairing my phone with our Evoque, which immediately slurped the entire contact list and goodness knows what else. De-paired now, but the damage is done.

Oh and BTW, it has an emergency button which can phone 999 and another for a Land Rover helpline, so it can probably send the phone contents to Skynet for all I know.

Bright spark techie knew the drill and used it to install a power line, but couldn't outsmart an odd electrician

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Unmetered supplies

A mate of mine used to fix people's electrical problems, paid for by monthly insurance. He was called to a house on its own in the middle of nowhere, occupied by an elderly couple who'd reported a nasty fizzing noise behind the cooker.

Sure enough, the cooker cable was faulty, but it was chased into the wall instead of being fed by an isolator. He asked where the isolator was to be met by a blank stare.

Where's the consumer unit then, he enquired: another blank stare. Supply fuse maybe? Meter? No.

Turns out the house had been directly connected to the pole transformer some distance away in the 1940's. No fuse, no meter, and they'd never had a bill. My mate had to walk away and let the electricity board deal with it.

Introducing the tech that keeps the lights on

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But how?

If the receiver on the machine behind the diode is disabled, how does it receive instructions to send it's data the other way? Even if the diode only allows tiny request packets for instance, how do you know there isn't some undiscovered vulnerability in that software?

India's lunar landing made a mess on the Moon

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Re: Artificial gravity doormat

Pah, already done thousands of years ago - it's a long-range magic carpet.

UK throws millions at scheme to heat homes with waste energy from datacenters

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Think of the rhubarb

That waste heat could go to forcing sheds. The Yorkshire Triangle's sheds used to be heated by coal when there was a lot of it about, then waste heat from the power stations (as I remember, could be wrong here). So why not install a forcing shed in the datacentre basement for year-round forced rhubarb?

Mmmm, rhubarb .....

CompSci academic thought tech support was useless – until he needed it

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Re: It just seems that way.

Politicians are educated??????

PPE is not an education in anything IMHO. Just twatting about for a bit before you get to be a spad, then a backbencher, and then are finally given the opportunity to some serious damage as a minister.

Batterygate bound for Blighty as UK court approves billion-dollar Apple compensation case

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Re: extend the life of a failing battery

True. That's why I chose a Fairphone. Snap the back off, whip battery out, put a new one in, replace back. 15 seconds max.

Australian video-streamer lets users opt out of ads for burgers, booze, and betting

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Re: Wait, what?

FWIW I remember one of the cast saying Skippy was actually an incontinent female wallaby. You can't house-train wallabies, so the set permanently stank of wallaby piss.

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