* Posts by Scroticus Canis

855 publicly visible posts • joined 2 Aug 2012

Morrisons launches bizarre Yorkshire Pudding pizza thing

Scroticus Canis
Childcatcher

Re: Missing a crucial step

Your forgetting the slices of Mars Bar!

PACK YOUR BAGS! Two Trappist-1 planets have watery oceans, most likely to be inhabitable

Scroticus Canis
Holmes

Trappist-1 ... cool white dwarf star. - Since when?

Trappist-1 is an "ultra-cool* red dwarf star" according to other more reliable sources. Nothing like what astronomers call a white dwarf.

The headline stating that two planets "have watery oceans" is definitely missing the "may" in front of "have". Deliberate click baiting? :(

* Ultra-cool refers to its surface temp. of ± 2500 K, not it dress sense.

A high-energy neutrino, a powerful cosmic ray, and a gamma ray walk into a bar... Where you from, asks the bartender

Scroticus Canis
Meh

"...jets of electromagnetic energy close to the speed of light..."

No. They will by definition be at the speed of light.

Jets of particles could be near the speed of light.

Don't panic... but our fragile world is drifting away from the Sun

Scroticus Canis
Pint

@45RPM - did you accidentally bump the lever to 78 RPM this morning?

Dial it back to 33 RPM and chill a bit.

Black hole munched galactic leftovers, spewed stars, burped

Scroticus Canis
Coat

Occam's Razor: If the first one was a burp going southwards...

... then the one going north from the other end must have been a fart.

Ohio coder accused of infecting Macs, PCs with webcam, browser spyware for 13 years

Scroticus Canis
Facepalm

Sad wanker watches wankers wank

Is life in North Royalton so boring this is all there is to do? For thirteen years!

Mystery surrounds fate of secret satellite slung by SpaceX

Scroticus Canis
Unhappy

Maybe "Zuma" was taken out by "Cyril".

More likely just got a big backhander to send its data to the Guptas for onward sale.

Scroticus Canis
Happy

Re: ... Have you read "On the beach"?

No, but I did see the film. Does that count?

Microsoft patches Windows to cool off Intel's Meltdown – wait, antivirus? Slow your roll

Scroticus Canis
Pint

Re: Hopefully landing like one... - Your wish is granted!

I just felt like a down vote Friday when I posted :) Didn't hear of any hassle with the macOS patch and had no AV problems with Sophos.

However, karma has had its revenge as I find my beer has evaporated whilst I wasn't paying attention and I now have to get up and get another one. I will however dedicate it to all who won't make it to the pub at lunchtime due to this M$ SNAFU.

Scroticus Canis
Trollface

I'm felling like a smug git right now.

"Apple has quietly patched the Meltdown bug in macOS 10.13.2 in December."

Is schadenfreude bad karma?

Soz, guys. No 'alien megastructure' around Tabby's Star, only cosmic dustbunnies

Scroticus Canis
Happy

Re: Dyson Spheres would have sucked all the dust away.

That's a hell of an upgrade from the Dyson Ball vacuum cleaner range. Really big dust canister I expect.

Where did all that water go? Mars was holding it wrong, say boffins

Scroticus Canis
Devil

Re: So there is water on Mars - They can all suck fluids from a stone

Just add lawyers to the list then even if they can't suck water or blood from a stone it's still a win-win situation.

Bigmouth ex-coppers who fed media MP pr0nz story face privacy probe

Scroticus Canis
Trollface

Re: Disappointed

Who need puns when there is the wry irony of a todger-dodger being named Dick?

Firefox 57's been quietly delaying tracking scripts

Scroticus Canis
Unhappy

But fast yes. - No not really.

See several people keep mentioning that they find FF 57 faster than the last release, I certainly don't but I am running it with NoScript (or what is left of it; getting ads I never used to and XXS pop-ups nightmare).

I find opening a link in a new tab (in the back ground) slows the current tab down, scrolling it jitters horribly. Looks like the CPU has lost three of its four cores it's so bad. Didn't happen in the previous version. The FF 57 UI is pretty sucky in design and crap contrast.

When I first installed FF57 & NS it was so dysfunctional I rolled it back within a day. I have persisted for about a fortnight with the updated versions but really miss the old smooth functional versions. I feel another roll back coming.

Danger! High voltage: German customs bods burn half-tonne of weed in power station

Scroticus Canis
Facepalm

Re: "Kraut" ? really ? in the 21st century ? after 70 years ?

You actually quoted from a Daily Wail article on El Reg?

Rather a green mistake even if you are not so cabbage looking.

Fridge killed my baby? Mag-field radiation from household stuff 'boosts miscarriage risk'

Scroticus Canis

Re: Is that absolute or relative risk?

Failure of a blastocyst to implant isn't a miscarriage. It should only be called a miscarriage if there is a recognisable foetus.

Scroticus Canis
Coat

Clip clop, clip clop.... boom!

Amish drive by.

Exploding alien bodies' space death-rays gave Earth its radiation cloak

Scroticus Canis
Meh

Re: Free neutrons ... Cosmic rays? So from supernovas for a start.

Yes but only if your no more than about 25 light minutes away from it.

Free neutrons have an average life of about 14-15 minutes before they decay into a proton, electron and an electron anti-neutrino (occasionally a gamma photon is produced as well). Thus we on earth will never see free neutrons in cosmic rays but may see a few in solar radiation (low energy as they are not accelerated by magnet or electrical fields).

This is the reason why there are no clouds of neutrons in space, but loads of hydrogen in both neutral and ionised states.

Voyager 1 fires thrusters last used in 1980 – and they worked!

Scroticus Canis

how much gold, platinum ... present in asteroids is still completely unknown

True, but all the platinum group metals mined in southern Africa are found in the remnants of two large meteor strikes which hit the planet after the crust was formed. Any gold, platinum, etc... present at the formation of the planet would have settled to the core before any crust formation.

Night before Xmas and all through American Airlines, not a pilot was flying, thanks to this bug

Scroticus Canis
Terminator

Re: AI / Automation - Can't wait!

Oh yes you can, computer says so.

Lock them up and throw away the (don)key

Scroticus Canis
Holmes

Speciesist profiling and discrimination of the worst kind.

This only happened because they were donkeys, if some cows did it they would have been given desert as well!

SpaceX 'raises' an extra 100 million bucks to get His Muskiness to Mars

Scroticus Canis
Unhappy

Re: Soyuz ... safety record... have to laugh!

Yesterdays total loss of a multi-satellite launch says its still not that good.

According to the article I saw it was a human error when a retro-thruster was fired, de-orbiting the payload, from a preliminary orbit rather than the main thruster to send it into a higher orbit.

The amusing bit is that the head of the Russian space program had declared the launch a success before it suddenly wasn't.

Well the main stage did work so you may still have a point Mr V.

Royal Navy destroyer leaves Middle East due to propeller problems

Scroticus Canis
Pirate

Re: Captain calls over to the harbourmaster...

Would that be Harbour Master Bates then?

Possible cut to British F-35 order considered before Parliament

Scroticus Canis
Unhappy

Re: Still not too late - yes it is.

Unfortunately there is nowhere to install the massive boilers and fuel bunkers to generate steam for the catapults or generators and batteries for electromagnetic catapults (if they could make one work).

For what this debacle has cost a new factory to make revamped versions of the Harrier would have been cheaper.

Windows Update borks elderly printers in typical Patch Tuesday style

Scroticus Canis
Holmes

Re: KB2952664 - "Is it because Windows is a curate's egg?"

Hum... No, the curate's egg was 'good in parts'.

Pastry in a manger: We're soz, Greggs man said

Scroticus Canis
Mushroom

Mohammed Mince Pies with his picture on them?

Yeh, that will go down a bomb.

(no jihadi icon)

Scroticus Canis
Trollface

Re: Howay in a manger

... the truly devine comestible from Greggs is the Holy Cow Steak Bake

FTFY

IBM asks remaining staff to take career advice from HR-bot

Scroticus Canis
Pirate

Re: History Repeats Itself

Your going to have to wait a little for that; Myca is just chumming the waters.

Mm, sacrilicious: Greggs advent calendar features sausage roll in a manger

Scroticus Canis
Alert

Re: BLASPHEMY! ? - the blood is gravy.

Now that is blasphemy; blood is for black pudding. Stone the heretic!

Scroticus Canis
Devil

JUST ENJOY THE SAUSAGE ROLLS!?!

You haven't met Dibbler yet have you?

Judging by the taste and gristle I am sure Greggs got their recipe from him.

(Oh bugger just saw @magickmark beat me to it)

Parity's $280m Ethereum wallet freeze was no accident: It was a hack, claims angry upstart

Scroticus Canis
Big Brother

Re: Whilst I have sympathy..

Pretty sure the cops would turn around and say they have bigger fish to fry "What are you talking about? Have you been drinking or taking any psychoactive substances?".

Brace yourselves, fanboys. Winter is coming. And the iPhone X can't handle the cold

Scroticus Canis
Unhappy

Re: You wanna know why tech companies are overwhelmingly staffed by white and Asian males?

Mainly based on the educational requirements of the job.

No point hiring art & humanities people for technical or scientific jobs - the gender difference in many instances.

On the colour front it's mainly the educational opportunities the people had or didn't have. Many didn't have decent schools to go to, came under peer pressure to become a gang member and drop out, or suffered from some societal norms limiting education.

In South Africa the ANC's old mantra of "no education without liberation" has come back to bite their affirmative action. Since '94 the endemic corruption has left many schools with no books or other teaching supplies so the kids don't even get a halfway decent chance. Currently the only decent job available to uneducated people there is being president and that is only for one person at a time. "Cry the Beloved Country" does not quite cover it.

Scroticus Canis
Flame

Re: OLED should be fine - Samsung and OLED tech

Of course their touch screens are not affected by the cold, the burning batteries keep them warm.

Online outrage makes Logitech drop a brick: Now it will replace slain Harmony Link gizmos

Scroticus Canis

"bears DO shit in the woods"

Most polar bears don't unless they are really lost. I can reassure you that the rumour about the Pope is real; no idea whether it is true or not.

User asked help desk to debug a Post-it Note that survived a reboot

Scroticus Canis
Holmes

Re: "Why do you guys marry, anyway? The free sex?"

It's never ever free. Marriage just means you keep on paying for it even after the divorce.

Judge bins sueball lobbed at Malwarebytes by rival antivirus maker for torpedoing its tool

Scroticus Canis
Coat

Re: "If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's probably malware."

Shirley that should be mallardware.

Alexa, please cause the cops to raid my home

Scroticus Canis
Coat

Re: IT happens - @JeffyPoooh

OK, but how do they refurbish a chocolate teapot?

Parity calamity! Wallet code bug destroys $280m in Ethereum

Scroticus Canis
Happy

Re: "bring me my Winchester"

Yep, remember when they first came out - a whole 5MB. Replaced one of the two 8" floppy drives in the SuperBrain microcomputers (running CPM and CIS COBOL apps); made the world of difference to program response times (COBOL code overlays). Still needed one floppy for data comms back-up* when the acoustic-coupler modems wouldn't work**. My first distributed system :)

* - stiff envelope and in the mail

** - had to write my own transmission checking and error correcting code; even with that sometimes the lines were just too noisy.

Our oldest mammalian ancestor named after British pub landlord

Scroticus Canis
FAIL

Check the picture.

Isn't it amazing how two teeth (found in a geographically mislocated area from a non-existent period of time) can tell you if the rat-thing had a furry or smooth tail.

Yet another fine article.

Pixel-style display woes on your shiny new X? Perfectly normal, says Apple

Scroticus Canis
Happy

Re: "warming-up time of valve TVs was an improvement"

Do you still miss the little white dot when you switched it off?

Imagine the candles on its birthday cake: Astro-eggheads detect galaxy born in universe's first billion years

Scroticus Canis
Meh

Re: Big, yeah but not the biggest ...

Arecibo Observatory 305m diameter.

Next bid?

Boffins: Sun's red dwarf neighbour is looking a little thick around the middle

Scroticus Canis
Trollface

Re: I hate to be "that guy", but...

...he's not even on the spectrum*.

Since when was Radio 1 ever considered cool (or even groovy)?

* the electromagnetic one

For fanbois only? Face ID is turning punters off picking up an iPhone X

Scroticus Canis
Headmaster

Re: Apple Targetting Jim Henson's People.... "the Queens English"

It's "the Queen's English", innit Shaddy me ol' china. :)

Official Secrets Act alert went off after embassy hired local tech support

Scroticus Canis
Happy

Re: One such trip involved “four of us sitting around a cage full of monkeys, feeding them fruit”

Sounds like "just another meeting with the users (or directors)" to me.

Osama Bin Laden had copy of Resident Evil, smut, in compound

Scroticus Canis
Trollface

Re: RE: AC - Carefully. Very, very, carefully....

But not quite as carefully as he wipes his arse I bet.

Astroboffins spot a fat 'monster' ALIEN planet terrorizing tiny dwarf

Scroticus Canis
Boffin

Boffins mount oscilloscope upside-down!

"...spotted a blip in the star’s brightness..." - if it was the right way up they would have seen a 'dip in the star's brightness' which is the usual way this is done.

F-35s grounded by spares shortage

Scroticus Canis
Alert

"Is it "fighter or flight" time?"

No it's "run like hell time" as the F35 does neither most of the time and neither very well for the short time it is "functional".

F35 - the fuck-up that keeps on giving.

Interstellar space rock screams through Solar System

Scroticus Canis
Coat

Interstellar space rock screams through Solar System

OK, but did anyone actually hear it?

Scroticus Canis
Alien

Re: HHGTTG?

Mega Death got a better gig deal from Lyra just in time to slingshot around the Sun rather than make a solar splash.

Yes, British F-35 engines must be sent to Turkey for overhaul

Scroticus Canis
Unhappy

Re: Castle Air Museum.

So this is one of the ones already serviced in Turkey? And all we got back were the bloody tyres?

(excellent link Symon)