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* Posts by Scroticus Canis

637 posts • joined 2 Aug 2012

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Windows Update borks elderly printers in typical Patch Tuesday style

Scroticus Canis
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Holmes

Re: KB2952664 - "Is it because Windows is a curate's egg?"

Hum... No, the curate's egg was 'good in parts'.

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Pastry in a manger: We're soz, Greggs man said

Scroticus Canis
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Mushroom

Mohammed Mince Pies with his picture on them?

Yeh, that will go down a bomb.

(no jihadi icon)

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Scroticus Canis
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Trollface

Re: Howay in a manger

... the truly devine comestible from Greggs is the Holy Cow Steak Bake

FTFY

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IBM asks remaining staff to take career advice from HR-bot

Scroticus Canis
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Pirate

Re: History Repeats Itself

Your going to have to wait a little for that; Myca is just chumming the waters.

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Mm, sacrilicious: Greggs advent calendar features sausage roll in a manger

Scroticus Canis
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Alert

Re: BLASPHEMY! ? - the blood is gravy.

Now that is blasphemy; blood is for black pudding. Stone the heretic!

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Scroticus Canis
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Devil

JUST ENJOY THE SAUSAGE ROLLS!?!

You haven't met Dibbler yet have you?

Judging by the taste and gristle I am sure Greggs got their recipe from him.

(Oh bugger just saw @magickmark beat me to it)

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Parity's $280m Ethereum wallet freeze was no accident: It was a HACK, claims angry upstart

Scroticus Canis
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Big Brother

Re: Whilst I have sympathy..

Pretty sure the cops would turn around and say they have bigger fish to fry "What are you talking about? Have you been drinking or taking any psychoactive substances?".

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Brace yourselves, fanboys. Winter is coming. And the iPhone X can't handle the cold

Scroticus Canis
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Unhappy

Re: You wanna know why tech companies are overwhelmingly staffed by white and Asian males?

Mainly based on the educational requirements of the job.

No point hiring art & humanities people for technical or scientific jobs - the gender difference in many instances.

On the colour front it's mainly the educational opportunities the people had or didn't have. Many didn't have decent schools to go to, came under peer pressure to become a gang member and drop out, or suffered from some societal norms limiting education.

In South Africa the ANC's old mantra of "no education without liberation" has come back to bite their affirmative action. Since '94 the endemic corruption has left many schools with no books or other teaching supplies so the kids don't even get a halfway decent chance. Currently the only decent job available to uneducated people there is being president and that is only for one person at a time. "Cry the Beloved Country" does not quite cover it.

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Scroticus Canis
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Re: OLED should be fine - Samsung and OLED tech

Of course their touch screens are not affected by the cold, the burning batteries keep them warm.

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Online outrage makes Logitech drop a brick: Now it will replace slain Harmony Link gizmos

Scroticus Canis
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"bears DO shit in the woods"

Most polar bears don't unless they are really lost. I can reassure you that the rumour about the Pope is real; no idea whether it is true or not.

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User asked help desk to debug a Post-it Note that survived a reboot

Scroticus Canis
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Holmes

Re: "Why do you guys marry, anyway? The free sex?"

It's never ever free. Marriage just means you keep on paying for it even after the divorce.

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Judge bins sueball lobbed at Malwarebytes by rival antivirus maker for torpedoing its tool

Scroticus Canis
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Coat

Re: "If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's probably malware."

Shirley that should be mallardware.

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Alexa, please cause the cops to raid my home

Scroticus Canis
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Coat

Re: IT happens - @JeffyPoooh

OK, but how do they refurbish a chocolate teapot?

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Parity calamity! Wallet code bug destroys $280 MEEELLION in Ethereum

Scroticus Canis
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Happy

Re: "bring me my Winchester"

Yep, remember when they first came out - a whole 5MB. Replaced one of the two 8" floppy drives in the SuperBrain microcomputers (running CPM and CIS COBOL apps); made the world of difference to program response times (COBOL code overlays). Still needed one floppy for data comms back-up* when the acoustic-coupler modems wouldn't work**. My first distributed system :)

* - stiff envelope and in the mail

** - had to write my own transmission checking and error correcting code; even with that sometimes the lines were just too noisy.

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Our oldest mammalian ancestor named after British pub landlord

Scroticus Canis
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FAIL

Check the picture.

Isn't it amazing how two teeth (found in a geographically mislocated area from a non-existent period of time) can tell you if the rat-thing had a furry or smooth tail.

Yet another fine article.

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Pixel-style display woes on your shiny new X? Perfectly normal, says Apple

Scroticus Canis
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Happy

Re: "warming-up time of valve TVs was an improvement"

Do you still miss the little white dot when you switched it off?

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Imagine the candles on its birthday cake: Astro-eggheads detect galaxy born in universe's first billion years

Scroticus Canis
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Meh

Re: Big, yeah but not the biggest ...

Arecibo Observatory 305m diameter.

Next bid?

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Boffins: Sun's red dwarf neighbour is looking a little thick around the middle

Scroticus Canis
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Trollface

Re: I hate to be "that guy", but...

...he's not even on the spectrum*.

Since when was Radio 1 ever considered cool (or even groovy)?

* the electromagnetic one

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For fanbois only? Face ID is turning punters off picking up an iPhone X

Scroticus Canis
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Headmaster

Re: Apple Targetting Jim Henson's People.... "the Queens English"

It's "the Queen's English", innit Shaddy me ol' china. :)

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Official Secrets Act alert went off after embassy hired local tech support

Scroticus Canis
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Happy

Re: One such trip involved “four of us sitting around a cage full of monkeys, feeding them fruit”

Sounds like "just another meeting with the users (or directors)" to me.

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Osama Bin Laden had copy of Resident Evil, smut, in compound

Scroticus Canis
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Trollface

Re: RE: AC - Carefully. Very, very, carefully....

But not quite as carefully as he wipes his arse I bet.

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Astroboffins spot a fat 'monster' ALIEN planet terrorizing tiny dwarf

Scroticus Canis
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Boffin

Boffins mount oscilloscope upside-down!

"...spotted a blip in the star’s brightness..." - if it was the right way up they would have seen a 'dip in the star's brightness' which is the usual way this is done.

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F-35s grounded by spares shortage

Scroticus Canis
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Alert

"Is it "fighter or flight" time?"

No it's "run like hell time" as the F35 does neither most of the time and neither very well for the short time it is "functional".

F35 - the fuck-up that keeps on giving.

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Interstellar space rock screams through Solar System

Scroticus Canis
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Coat

Interstellar space rock screams through Solar System

OK, but did anyone actually hear it?

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Scroticus Canis
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Alien

Re: HHGTTG?

Mega Death got a better gig deal from Lyra just in time to slingshot around the Sun rather than make a solar splash.

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Yes, British F-35 engines must be sent to Turkey for overhaul

Scroticus Canis
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Unhappy

Re: Castle Air Museum.

So this is one of the ones already serviced in Turkey? And all we got back were the bloody tyres?

(excellent link Symon)

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Here's a timeless headline: Adobe rushes out emergency Flash fix after hacker exploits bug

Scroticus Canis
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Holmes

Fixed this six months back...

... just deleted Flash and anything with Adobe in the file or path name. Haven't missed it a bit.

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Customers cheesed off after card details nicked in Pizza Hut data breach

Scroticus Canis
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Facepalm

Re: Where? - From the article - "the breach has only affected customers in the US"

Oh-oh!

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Twitter: Why we silenced Rose McGowan after she slammed alleged sex pest Harvey Weinstein

Scroticus Canis
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Childcatcher

Miss McGowan not smelling of roses on this one.

"McGowan herself reached a $100,000 settlement with the mogul in 1997 following “an episode in a hotel room during the Sundance Film Festival,” and signed a non-disclosure agreement."

So basically she accepted money for sex; OK a lot of money. More of a story, I would say, than a blocked twatter account.

The timing of her disclosure together with the news that she accepted payment tickles a little bit of suspicion about a rebuffed "second pay-day".

If it was rape then she should have laid charges when it happened; not doing so allowed an offender to potentially harm more people. If he did commit more offences in the intervening 19 years then she will have to live with some responsibility for them.

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Rejecting Sonos' private data slurp basically bricks bloke's boombox

Scroticus Canis
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Re: Good luck with your unconnected light bulb.

Uncle Fester hold this for a while...

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Real Mad-quid: Murky cryptojacking menace that smacked Ronaldo site grows

Scroticus Canis
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Holmes

Misuse of Computer

Unless the user has specifically OKed the running of mining scripts they should fall under the misuse of computer laws; the code is making the computer do something not expected by the user or required to deliver the site's content.

Unless covered in the sites terms and conditions (not buried in them) or covered by a pop-up asking if it is OK, it just can't be legal to my mind.

Having said that I can see it would be useful for funding niche/hobbyist sites and would be OK with it provided the user is kept informed.

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Star Wars: Big Euro cinema group can't handle demand for tickets to new flick

Scroticus Canis
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Less smelly bastards, less noisy eaters and irritating interruptions.

Less circulating pathogens. Both microscopic and societal.

Think I am going a bit Howard Hughes in my pre-dotage.

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Is that a bulge in your pocket or... do you have an iPhone 8+? Apple's batteries look swell

Scroticus Canis
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Angel

Re: Jesus phones - It reassembles after 3 days.

Ah, does it then ascend into the clouds?

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Azure fell over for 7 hours in Europe because someone accidentally set off the fire extinguishers

Scroticus Canis
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Flame

Re: "useless having redundant A/C if they all shut down in case of fire!"

Not shutting down the AC during a fire event is the best way to spread the fire while feeding it fresh oxygen. Should also have fire dampers that close off all the ducting so fire does not spread through them.

In this case it was the wrong thing to do; they should have burnt it to the ground and started over so I gave you an up vote as Azure sucks big time.

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Bad news! Astroboffins find the stuff of life in space for the first time

Scroticus Canis
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Meh

Freon-40 is just a trademark name not the chemical's name.

So I take it the Chemours Company is now trading in outer space? Next an article about finding Perrier or Evian among the stars as H₂O and CO₂ are also out there.

With all the posts about CFCs I also take it that fluorine is no longer a requirement for a chlorofluorocarbon?

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US yanks staff from Cuban embassy over sonic death ray fears

Scroticus Canis
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Re: Orange Herring - "some kind of chemical exposure"

That is the most logical explanation, there are loads of ototoxic compounds around and some used medicinally (aspirin, quinine are two common ones). Also possible is the virus/infection scenario.

An epidemiologist should be able to narrow down the commonalities of those affected if there is a 'concerted' cause.

Sonic weapons are just too bulky for effective subsonic effects and building material would quickly dampen ultrasonic frequencies. You also need loads of power in the generated frequency for it to have much physical or physiological effect over any distance.

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Dildon'ts of Bluetooth: Pen test boffins sniff out Berlin's smart butt plugs

Scroticus Canis
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Trollface

Good ol' fashioned indirect injection, for added agricultural movement.

Now your just shit stirring.

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Ex-sperm-inate! Sam the sex-droid 'heavily soiled' in randy nerd rampage

Scroticus Canis
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Holmes

Re: Ha - "...women who only seem to need a specific part."

Yeah, your wallet.

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Amadeus booking software outages smack airports across world

Scroticus Canis
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Trollface

So many airlines chose the same single point of failure.

Wonder why?

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Boffins sling around entangled photons at telco wavelengths

Scroticus Canis
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So what is it good for?

The entanglement will only last until the first repeater/router/switch decodes the photon to retransmit it. So just short range entanglement in real comms terms, not the end to end one desires, unless one can make a single fibre run connection.

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Spanish govt slammed over bizarre Catalan .cat internet registry cop raid

Scroticus Canis
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Unhappy

Re: "Only in Chester on a sunday... sorry"

Damn!

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CCleaner targeted top tech companies in attempt to lift IP

Scroticus Canis
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Meh

Restore from backups or reimage.

"...should restore from backups or reimage systems to ensure that they completely remove not only the backdoored version of CCleaner but also any other malware that may be resident on the system."

Only true if the backups are clean. Seen restores of backed up malware before.

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UK data watchdog swots automated marketing call pest with £260k fine

Scroticus Canis
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Unhappy

Re: "get local supermarkets to leave their out of date food nearby"

...get local builders to leave their out of date bricks nearby... would work better.

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Apocalypse now: Ad biz cries foul over Apple's great AI cookie purge

Scroticus Canis
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Meh

Re: "Nicely done for once, Apple!"

Would be nicer if they provided a facility to automatically delete cookies at the end of a session like Firefox does. Currently you have to do it manually; I have to use the clear history function on the main menu before I close the browser (and delete everything).

In Firefox I just block third-party cookies and set cookies to 'allow for session' in the privacy preferences. For the odd site I want cookies to persist I then just change that sites permissions to 'allow' when I visit it and those permissions and cookies remain after the browser is closed. Mind you it won't maintain a log-in on El Reg any more for some reason.

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New HMRC IT boss to 'recuse' herself over Microsoft decisions

Scroticus Canis
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Mushroom

Re: "Including airburst ones?"

Yes. It's just the point on the Earth's surface under the bomb (perpendicular) when it goes off.

Not applicable to detonations in space, obviously.

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User worked with wrong app for two weeks, then complained to IT that data had gone missing

Scroticus Canis
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Headmaster

Re: By any chance ... Whoosh!

Simon you forgot the obligatory Whoosh in your response title :)

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Weird white dwarf pulsar baffles boffins as its pulsating pattern changes over decades

Scroticus Canis
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Holmes

Not much change since Iain Thomson's remarkably similar article on 8 Feb 2017.

No other comment.

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Would you get in a one-man quadcopter air taxi?

Scroticus Canis
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Holmes

Re: used the toilet and not eaten breakfast yet...

Way too much information.....

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Signs of ground ice found on ancient protoplanet asteroid Vesta

Scroticus Canis
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Re: A bit late

It appears it took them some time to interpret the data.

The linked article was first presented for publication in June 2016 and has just recently been included as a published article.

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This article has been deleted

Scroticus Canis
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Devil

Re: Depends if you are a thigh or leg person?

Prefer something in between, myself :)

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