* Posts by Amorous Cowherder

1063 publicly visible posts • joined 5 Jul 2012

Surprise! No wonder Oracle doesn't 'see' IBM or SAP in the cloud

Amorous Cowherder

No, you'll just get charge per CPU/sec per core you invoked, per GB/written to storage and per MB/upload\download. Then a nice fat bill will arrive!

Apple's OS X App Store downloads knackered by expired security cert

Amorous Cowherder
Stop

Re: This is why the....

Cert problems aside, you NEVER, EVER own software, you merely buy the rights to use it. With OSS you are granted rights to use it but simply paying and/or downloading, buying a DVD or USB with said software on does NOT mean you own it, simply the media it comes on. If I wish, as owner of the software, I can revoke that right to use it providing I made that clear in the EULA, which of course we all read from beginning to end before we open/install software!

If you buy a book you have purchased rights to read it as often as you wish but you do not technically own the book. I have to sell you the media ( the paper, card, plastic cover ) 'cos you can't read the book without the medium it comes in, but technically you will never own the book. That's why so many lawyers want to ban second sales on games and books, they see a second sale as a loss as you have no right to make money from someone else's work, you can argue that one as you wish!

GCHQ goes all Cool Dad and tags the streets of Shoreditch with job ads

Amorous Cowherder
Facepalm

This is the best art they could do?

Then again all the decent street artists who paint in Shoreditch would probably give GCHQ a wide berth as would any sane person!

Coding with dad on the Dragon 32

Amorous Cowherder
Thumb Up

Bang on the money!

" I want to make the point that I learned about computers in spite of the state school system and not as a result of it. "

I started with a Dragon32 and my Dad said at the time, "If we're getting a computer then we'll get a proper one with a proper keyboard, not one those stupid, cheap rubber efforts from Sinclair!". Ha ha!

The one good thing with getting a machine with very little software available you had to learn yourself. That or you typed in magazine listings, which always went wrong BUT they taught you a hell of a lot about how to debug someone else's code and fix programs!

UK government looks to harness the potential of open data through APIs

Amorous Cowherder
Alert

"...Matt Hancock, minister for the Cabinet Office, referred to data as being 'no longer just a record' but a 'mineable commodity, from which value can be extracted'..."

My God, did a government employee finally understand something genuinely important about people's data? I think I need a lie down after the shock.

A bubble? No way, we're in a bust, says rich VC living in alternate reality

Amorous Cowherder
Boffin

Re: In a Bust - <Cough > Facebook.

Who say "Grin and Brin" ( or whatever they're called ) weren't groomed for the job from birth? They might have had the right connections made available by those high up in government and finance, then encouraged to get Google up and running...

TalkTalk offers customer £30.20 'final settlement' after crims nick £3,500

Amorous Cowherder
Facepalm

Well....

You buggered up the security.

You lied to customers about said security.

You then insult customers by not allowing those who wish to leave, a waiver of the fee.

You have technically broken the contract with your customers by not encrypting their details.

Sounds like the making of a class action to me!

Oh and Talk Talk, bit of advice, I really think you need to stop giving away money and spend it on a proper fricking PR dept, 'cos the one you have are complete and utter shite!!

Linus Torvalds fires off angry 'compiler-masturbation' rant

Amorous Cowherder
Stop

Re: He's blunt. He's aggressive. He's offensive.

"Incivility is rarely appropriate and never constructive. "

Oh shut up! Yes, I do agree but sometimes you have to vent, clear the air make people aware of your emotions THEN most of us will apologise and get the thing fixed.

Sorry but despite us have having this noble air of civility, we're all just monkeys with technology. The killer instinct is just below the surface in every single one of us and it's only the brainwashing we get in our familie, schools and social circles that helps us to keep it under control. Once in a while it bursts out, we break something, shout and scream and then we get back to normal.

'Govt will not pass laws to ban encryption' – Baroness Shields

Amorous Cowherder

Ooooh-kaaaaay....

So Cameron wants the keys easily available so they can be obtained, put on USB sticks by utter div government types and left in trains, taxis, pubs, clubs....

We suck? No, James Dyson. It is you who suck – Bosch and Siemens

Amorous Cowherder
Facepalm

Re: Bah!

"You're not supposed to stick your gentleman's bits into it..."

At least stick in on blow, if you do feel the need to!

Oracle's Larry Ellison claims his Sparc M7 chip is hacker-proof – Errr...

Amorous Cowherder
Facepalm

Re: Still vulnerable

"Hi DBA Duncan this developer Dave. We've written this app on the dev system that needs to go live this afternoon. We need system password on live to make it work."

If refused, this usually follows next from the project manager...

"Do you know who asked for this app to coded? Board member Brian and he's going to be mighty pissed and looking to make heads roll if anyone stands in the way of this app going live!"

The iPhone 6 doused in bromine - an incendiary mix or not?

Amorous Cowherder

Re: Lye.

Nasty stuff. I know someone who slipped over in a mixture of CS on the floor in well known DIY store here in the UK, suffered severe burns on their hands and arms when they hit the floor. Currently in discussion with said DIY company about the incident!

Amorous Cowherder

Re: What a muppet

Exactly. I'm all for a bit of a laugh but it's sad that in this day an age, where some people in our own privileged countries don't have enough to eat, that we think nothing of ruining perfectly good items that cost more than some people earn in a year.

There must have been some items beyond repair which they could have tried these pranks out with?

Bacon can kill: Official

Amorous Cowherder
Facepalm

Gotta go some way!

So I'd rather enjoy life taking a few risks than living in fear that I might die, most likely by giving myself a stress induced heart attack.

What the hell ever happened to being sensible? Sorry, we're so desenstized these days that we need the Nanny State to ram it's latest terrifying threat down our throats to make us pay attention. So what if I eat bacon, I don't eat it every day! Heck I think I've eaten it twice this month in total. I've never smoked, I drink maybe a pint or two a week max, I try to walk 2-3 miles a day to work. I like doner kebabs and chips, sweet an sour chicken balls but I eat them maybe once every 2-3 months 'cos I'm over 40 and I know my guts can't take that punishment these days. Moderation. I love biscuits and crisps but I try to think twice before finishing off a packet of digestives these days. Moderation. While all those around me have hit 40 and seem to have gone mad and started running marathons and Lord knows what, plus cutting out everything they're told to in the media, they'll probably get run over while running!

Me, I hope to have a few more happy years before my guts fall out of my arse and my brain is rotten from all the CJD, stress, strokes and onset of Alzheimers. I won't just stop doing things that I enjoy, I won't live a boring, uninteresting life ( not yet anyway ) with nothing to look forward to. Life is for living, not worrying about dying. You're going to die, fact. Stop worrying and start living.

Support scammers target Mac fanbois

Amorous Cowherder
Happy

If you run Linux....

...we're just plain tight bugger and thus pointless trying to get blood out of stone! Ha ha!

Anons blow Japanese airports off-course in dolphin cull protest

Amorous Cowherder
Facepalm

Yeah

Yeah, f**k 'em! Why bother trying to save the biodiversity on this planet. We've shit all over it since we fell out the trees ( on our arse or head, I don't know which ) and we're only going to continue to f**k it up even more, and thanks to spirited people like yourself, I'm sure the end of humanity can't come quick enough!

Don't Panic: Even if asteroid showers cause mass extinctions ...

Amorous Cowherder
Pint

When you have a species obsessed by the movements of little green pieces of paper ( Cheers Douglas! ) and the fame of celebrities who contribute next to nothing in the grand scheme of things ( Thanks Facebook/Twitter and Simon Cowell ), I reckon we'll be extinct in around 250 years!

I'll have 6 pints and several bags of peanuts please and hurry up, the species is about implode in on itself....

CIA boss uses AOL email – and I hacked it, claims stoner teen

Amorous Cowherder

' "We are aware of the reports that have surfaced on social media and have referred the matter to the appropriate authorities," a CIA spokesperson told The Register on Monday. '

Hmmm, nothing makes the authorities angrier than embarrassing them in public. I would get your affairs in order kiddo, you're going to be doing a lot of sitting in small rooms and thinking about stuff, before they pack you off to jubbie to dig ditches for the local authority in some backwater hick county.

Our intuitive AI outperforms (most) puny humans, claims MIT

Amorous Cowherder
Boffin

Aha!

You see Data Science Machine....DSM...rearrange that and you get MSD....which are the initials of the wife of the part time electrician who work on the set of the movie "Ooooh Missus Ermintrude, There's A Sausage in My Mulligatawny!" which was being made on the same lot as 2001: A Space Odyssey!

Terror, terror everywhere: Call the filter police, there's a madman (or two) in town

Amorous Cowherder
Thumb Down

Welcome back to..,,

I smell a the rotten corpse of PHORM being resurrected for the latest episode of that hit comedy, "Security Theatre"!

Nippy, palaver and cockwomble: Greatest words in English?

Amorous Cowherder
Happy

Nothing beats the mighty "bellend" as the all time greatest insult!

He he!

Wheels come off parents' plan to dub sprog 'Mini Cooper'

Amorous Cowherder

L'Indépendant notes that the powers that be in Valenciennes, northern France, have previously rejected "Nutella" and "Fraise" (Strawberry). The latter name would, according to the court, "inevitably attract mockery", such as its use in the phrase "ramène ta fraise" or "move your arse".

My real name is George...you any idea how many variations there are of a certain nursery rhyme with my name in it? Well I bet I probably heard most of them while I was sat school. The stupidity of all this is that kids will find a way to rip the piss out of any name, no matter how sensible it is. I had a mate with a surname Bogard, he had a number 2 cut all the time I knew him at school, Bogard somehow transformed into "Bogbrush" as in what his hair looked like as it grew out each time.

The one thing human memory needs is cues, so we look for traits in someone's appearance or habits in order to link their abstract name with their image. The only difference is that kids don't internalise it, they voice it openly in order, as a group, to ensure they remember it and maintain the pecking order kids often set up amongst themselves.

Amazon Echo: We put Jeff Bezos' always-on microphone-speaker in a Reg family home

Amorous Cowherder

As the reviewer said, is is any worse than using Facebook and Siri to name just two very invasive technologies. They're cloud connected, they analyze to death, everything you give them in the hopes of of selling you some service or product. If I'm going to be analyzed by a company, at least I might as well know which one, and a department store is not the end of the world. Would I have one? Probably not as I'm not that bothered about the sort of services it offers, especially as this seems to offer solutions to problems no one really has and seems to be technology for the sake of it. Still I can imagine they'll be common place in most homes within 10 years.

Windows 10 preview on death row, will be executed on Thursday

Amorous Cowherder

"XP-R2"

Exactly Roland6! Look at OSX, it's hardly changed in yonks yet they keep releasing new versions but they don't screw around with the core functionality of the interface and it seems to keep their fans happy and loyal. MS know that for the most part they have a captive audience with Windows on most typical PC owners machines, so they know that users will more or less put up with any old shite flavour-of-the-month interface they decide to release this year.

Amorous Cowherder
Thumb Up

Thumbs up for ClassicShell!

I install it on all my Windows boxes, irrespective of version then at least I get some consistency among all this Metro/tiles nonsense.

Laser razor binned from Kickstarter resurfaces on Indiegogo

Amorous Cowherder
Happy

Snake Oil!

Good to see the art of the flim-flam man is still alive and well in the digital age!

Science Museum celebrates Ada Lovelace

Amorous Cowherder

How about not pushing kids into anything but instead giving them a wide set of interests and seeing which ones they like the most and then encouraging them to pursue what they really love most?

I've been a techie since I could walk but my daughter loves biology to bits, I've had to learn to suppress my ultra-squeamish tendencies in order to encourage her. You're talking about a bloke who threw up in 5th year biology class when he was asked to dissect...a sprat! Yes, I didn't even have the stomach to carve up a tiny pilchard sized fish without vomiting. so heaven knows where my daughter got her love of biology from!

HP creates laptop for SITH LORDS

Amorous Cowherder

They learned their lesson last time when they invested in state of the art tech and some architect decided to leave a minor exhaust port unguarded, which set back the Empire's cause for a while, not to mention killing Peter Cushing!

Amorous Cowherder
Facepalm

Re: Bah. That's not evil.

"Wowsee! Weesa a startin' boss!"

I imagine the end of the world to be that on a series of laptops, full volume with no disable option!

Amorous Cowherder

Re: I'd like a Klingon version

I've got Bajoran laptop. I asked it start up and it just ignores me, only when spoken to nicely by Federation staff and promise of aid and protection from "spoon heads" will it get it's arse in gear. When it does start it won't stop sulking about how badly it's being treated by everyone else!

( And one for the hard core fans... )

I've got a Vidian laptop...it's a bugger to keep it going but spare parts are never a problem!

TRANSISTOR-GATE-GATE: Apple admits some iPhone 6Ses crappier than others

Amorous Cowherder
Pint

"Reminder to conspiracy theorists: Samsung's electronics wing makes Android smartphones and tablets that rival Apple's iThings, while its semiconductor arm makes the chips in Apple gear. One to think about."

Well Remington, Wilkinson and even Ford sold weapons and parts to both sides of warring armies during various conflicts!

Playmobil cops broadside for 'racist' pirate slave

Amorous Cowherder

My understanding was that it was liberated ( ransacked ships ) and escaping slaves who joined pirate crews, considering it better to die as a pirate and free than as a slave. Many slaves were considered equal within pirate crews. Slaves would sometimes be captured and sold on as slaves by pirates but a lot were set free and offered places on ships.

So it's perfectly accurate that this slave figure should start off as a slave and then be liberated! Political Correctness was a such a good idea ( ie, end use of racist slurs, stop racism in the media and workplace, etc ) , sadly a load of whining maggots have abused it and it's now nothing but a beaten and broken shell of what it should have been.

BT to shoot 'up to 330Mbps' G.fast into 2,000 Gosforth homes

Amorous Cowherder

Re: Excellent

Exactly what I was thinking. All I ever see is small scale trials by BT while every other poor sod on the network is left at anything between 1Mb to 20Mb is they're lucky. Meanwhile VM are rolling out 200Mb to homes across the country.

World's oldest person scoffs daily ration of bacon

Amorous Cowherder

Hey look I'm not going to mock someone who's lived for over century, bloody good luck to them if they've done it. However I'd be happy to die after my three-score-and-ten having lead a good life, ending happy with a smile on my face, naked and in the arms of my wife suffering a massive coronary after we've just made love for the 4th time that day! Ha ha!

I'd hate to reach 105, being pushed around in a wheel chair by strangers 'cos I've outlived my kids and been dumped in a home, barely able to speak and attempting to moan about the rash I'm getting from having to wear adult nappies 24 hours a day or God forbid tubes up my various output ports. All the time what's left of my extended family desperately try to keep me ticking along right up to my last gasp of oxygen assisted breath just so they could get me in the Guiness Book of Records.

Hey, Facebook – these are the new Like buttons you should have used

Amorous Cowherder
Happy

Re: Some more...

""Look, a f***ing sunrise doesn't automatically make it inspirational"

And for the serious photographers...

"Look, a f***ing sunrise/mountain doesn't automatically make you David Noton"

Tiny Robot Smartphone: Invasion Earth 2016 – prepare to be facially recognised humans

Amorous Cowherder
Facepalm

Why would I NOT buy one?

I'm a 50 year old, bald bloke not a fecking 14 year old Japanese girl!

Swedish govt appeals court decision guarding thepiratebay.se domain

Amorous Cowherder
Facepalm

Wake up!!

Hilarious!

Here's a big f**king clue for you government types who really do want to get on top of this pirate malarky. You need to start seeing the world running at the speed at which you can fire up a new domain and switch your servers to it. That's how fast you need to make the legal systems. Here's an even bigger clue, just in case you're wondering we're talking a few hours in the very worst case!!

You're stuck with legal systems that take months to come to a decision and then weeks to enact by which time the naughty boys and girls have seen you coming a mile off and have made preparations to move on. The Pirate Bay, KickAss, 720 and their ilk can chop and change servers, IPs and host names in minutes if they need to. Of course this doesn't even begin to discuss the huge explosion of torrent proxy sites that constantly scan and change within minutes each time the master sites change.

Unless you can start to make laws and enact them in less than 2 hours....you're royally screwed!

White House 'deeply disappointed' by Europe outlawing Silicon Valley

Amorous Cowherder
Mushroom

Re: Tantrum coming in 3, 2, 1...

So let's see here. Who's money financed the building of the Reich and "assisted" Hitler to hold back Uncle Joe's nasty Communist horde which might have threatened capitalists and royalists? Oh yes it was the US money men. Who was one of the most fanatical Nazis on US soil? Ermmm, it was that big all round American hero Henry Ford. Who openly admitted he found HItler to be a big inspiration and that fascism was the way forward. Who practically gave engines to the Third Reich for their vehicles? Oh, it's our friend Henry Ford again! Who helped design fizzy orange drink Fanta for the Nazis little sporting festival in 1936? Oh yes, US company Coca-Cola.

So when the whole Nazi jamboree got out of hand, who had to step in to lend us a hand? Uncle Sam! Oh and who was making money of supplying arms to the Allied armies? Oh, it's our big hearted friends the US money men again! So Uncle Sam's boys had to go to war against a fascist enemy their very own government had financed and helped.

No it's not a pop at the US, the UK had it share of money men and Nazi friends, mostly upper class twats and royalty who were more than happy to have Hitler hold back Uncle Joe Stalin from letting his communist horde take away their birthrights. However as most sane people know, it's the small cabal of ultra rich robber barons that play with us like little pawns in the their game of "See how much bigger my pile is than yours and see how many more nobodies I can crush making it happen.".

Fast forward 70 years and now it's simply a different kind of money men, the same US Government helping the Bezos' and Zuckerbergs of this world screw over the every day folk in their rampant greed to make the biggest pile before they pop their clogs.

Oracle swaps around its licence police bods' top ranks

Amorous Cowherder
Facepalm

Having an Oracle Audit done is like having severe emergency root canal but without all the fun that entails!

GCHQ's SMURF ARMY can hack smartphones, says Snowden. Again.

Amorous Cowherder
Happy

Re: Tune in next week when

Well Jeff Goldblum and Will Smith managed it with a 1990's Mac laptop and they're just actors!

Amorous Cowherder
Facepalm

Re: "...he says can turn a phone on or off"

They don't need to steal anything. They simply ask any company they wish for their source code or things get very difficult when XYZ wishes to do any sort of business in the UK if they don't comply.

Ten years on: Ronnie Barker, Pismonouncers Unanimous founder, remembered

Amorous Cowherder

I was seeing Barker in Open All Hours with Jason and Baron just blew me away as a kid. It gave David Jason his first big role and turned him into a household name. There's nothing nasty in it, no one is ever ridiculed except Granville and that's only 'cos he's youngish and a bit dopey at times. Even when people from other races are brought into the story it's done with dune respect.

Apple CEO Tim Cook: Email keyword sniffing? We'd NEVER do that!

Amorous Cowherder
Thumb Down

Interesting lead picture....

They managed to find the only Foxconn worker who's either not clinically depressed OR on some very strong anti-depressants to ensure they smile inanely through the whole PR exercise.

The Steve Jobs of supercomputers: We remember Seymour Cray

Amorous Cowherder

Re: Pretty sure...

A CRAY was used as a fancy prop in the Robert Redford/Ben Kingsley flick Sneakers. Redford, after being knocked unconscious, wakes up on the "seated" part of the CRAY by Kingsley the evil genius paid by the Mafia to run their office "clerical" systems!

Woman makes app that lets people rate and review you, Yelp-style. Now SHE'S upset people are 'reviewing' her

Amorous Cowherder
Facepalm

"do-gooder hippie without a clue "

Seems more like some silly school kid who needs to learn to grow up and understand that even though all her "fwends" are "wuverly" and all "wuv" shopping and boys and jammy parites and putting on make up and ( Stop before we're all sick! - Ed ) the rest of the world is populated by real people who love and hate in equal amounts.

This app is a reflection of how my teenage daughter was when she was 11 years old, "You're my fwend!" and "You're not my fwend!". My daughter who's still only 13 grew up and now she doesn't give a shit, she has her mates and just gets along with other people, just like grown up adults do.

Amorous Cowherder
Facepalm

The Indictment

The perfect indictment of what humanity has become with the advent of the internet. A lot of nasty, back stabbing ignorant keyboard warriors hell bent on spewing shite and yet contributing nothing to the world as a whole.

Makes me a ashamed to share oxygen with people who manage to bring ideas like this to fruition. What sad, pretty and shitty little species we are sometimes....

'A word processor so simple my PA could use it': Joyce turns 30

Amorous Cowherder
Thumb Down

Don't knock Sugar's cheap and cheerful kit

We used to have Amstrad 464 and 664 in our house. My first PC was when I was 15, my Dad bought a 1640 ECD ( EGA ) back in '87. It had GEM Desktop ( the first WYSIWYG desktop GUI ) and introduced me to PCs, learning DTP, C language, PASCAL and made me realise that I really wanted to work in IT as a career.

It was close on 3 years before any of my college mates got PCs of their own, so I had a huge head start on learning about "real" software I'd need to know when I got out into the real world.

That 1640 got butchered, upgraded with new drives, plugins and it lasted for close on 8 years before it finally breathed it's last breath. Not bad for a cheap'n'cheerful PC clone that sold for £650 when something like an AST with Hercules card green monitor would cost about £1800.

I'm grateful to Sugar for giving us the opportunity to get a head start on other people when I came to learning about computer tech.

Lies from VW: 'Our staff acted criminally but board didn't know'

Amorous Cowherder
Gimp

Nothing has changed in thousands of years!

I'm in charge, so I'm always right and everything I say is the truth.

You are a mere underling, thus you are a scum-sucking lying weasel out to rip me off and take the bread from my children's mouths. Sadly I need to employ you to actually do the donkey work but understand this, everything is your responsibility, your fault when it goes wrong and your problem to fix. I will disavow any knowledge of any wrongdoing as I can afford the best legal brains to make me look squeaky clean, you on the other hand, are well and truly buggered my little underling!

Arabic-speaking cyberspies targeting BOFHs with crude but effective attacks

Amorous Cowherder
Facepalm

Really?

If your IT staff are incompetent enough...

a) allow attachments through to desktops without holding them in quarentine

b) actually open email attachments

c) not have AV/malware on PCs/Macs/mobiles/tablets under their control

d) Not realising any of the above are basic, important security measures

Should be taken out back, severely beaten with a length of CAT5 and then given their marching papers!

Christ, even the least techie people in my family understand these core foundational tenets of good security, let alone people paid to know this stuff by rote.

It's the white heat of the tech revolution, again!

Amorous Cowherder
Thumb Up

Smiffy!

Thumbs up for just using a picture of one of Robert Lindsey's greatest roles ( other than in Nightingales! )!