1067 posts • joined 5 Jul 2012
Re: entrants should "demonstrate their passion"
"I have a passion for music. Sadly, I can't play a single instrument. But I am enthusiastic as all hell, so here's to applying to the London Symphony Orchestra!"
That statement simply proves you have a passion to make a prat of yourself in public, additionally you have a passion for making spurious arguments using poor logic.
The number of times I've had to step in an deal with morons who've just downloaded some chunk of code, didn't bother reading it and turned a minor problem into a phone call home to the missus to ask her to shove our evening meal in the oven for whenever I finally get home!!
It's one of those things where at someone suggests it looks a little rude, then we might all snigger at first sight. However after staring at it for a few more seconds it doesn't look at all rude, it's obvious that what's in his hand is just a round lump of something that is in no way attached to the body and doesn't suggest a phallus at all. You come down to earth and realise it's a religious statue, no one's likely to deliberately make a rude statue in church grounds and you simply need to grow up a little bit and see it for what it really is, just a statue.
Although it's given the church a full boost of worldwide PR which never hurts to raise a few more shekels in the old church purse!
To be honest this is not a cloud problem, as usual it's a "weakest link" problem. Security is only as good as the weakest link. Most cloud based systems are secure by default. Heck, AWS dumps you into a VPC by default. It's the morons and idiots that open up the security 'cos it's always easier to just switch it off than to actually bother to learn about the security mechanisms correctly.
The same old story I've seen for donkey's years in IT. The vendor that insists on having root/Administrator/SYSADMIN to install their shitty little application that write 3 records a day to a database. The lazy developer who writes code that only works with sysadmin permissions. The moronic operators who share the sysadmin passwords with all an sundry.
Just 'cos we've moved to the cloud doesn't mean these fecking eejits have gone away. The Cloud (tm) cannot fix stupidity, it might be useful but it ain't that good!
Wow, 17PB of pictures of cats, people moaning about work, comments on the latest sports event and those bloody annoying memes that remind you to give yourself a "mental hug" every day. Hmmm, valuable stuff indeed!
Re: Let's get Pong's history straight
Look up the name Willy Higginbotham, he was making computer tennis games using an oscilloscope back the 1950s during his day job at the Dept of Defence.
Re: Pong was not the first commercial video game...
People quote Steve Russell as being the first computer game writer with Spacewar but the first computer game was by Willy Higginbotham, who worked for the Dept of Defence, when he used an oscilloscope to make a simple game of tennis which he exhibited and allowed people to play way back in the late 50s.
Re: LSD in the water supply
Oh I see your mistake, you watched the remake. No, you see you want to watch the original version.
You see to most of us who were born in the late 60s and 70s we knew computers and films tried damned hard to present us with the best they could do at the time but they always fell slightly short so you know how we dealt with that? Well, we'd all been brought up reading these papery things called books that demanded we have this thing called an "imagination" and that is especially important to have when reading sci-fi. So you see when we played those early video games and watched early sci-fi films we simply filled in the blanks with our imaginations and that lead us to be more rounded, imaginative and creative people. We don't demand that everything be perfectly formed and spoon fed to us. We can ignore the bloke in the naff rubber monster costume, we can ignore the naff dialogue and concentrate on the overarching key messages being put forward in the piece of art. We're not bogged down by all the minutiae so we can head out onto Twitter to complain about every little tiny detail because our favourite thing has some small flaws in it!.
I suggest you take your pathetic millenial attitude that anything prior to 1995 is shite and piss off!!
"sheeple. in their unwashed hoards I would think."
I love a good bit of tech, think the idea is great but too much like the "TeleScreen" for me. People where I work banging on about how great their Echo thing is , "We asked it the time!", "The kids can ask it things for homework.".
Whoopy-flipping-do! No need to have a discussion with your kids about sharing knowledge. One reason I don't let my kids just automatically jump on the internet when they have homework, we sit down and discuss ideas, concepts. If we're unclear then we both sit down and try to understand it together, then they get to hear someone else's interpretation not just the plain fact, which may or may not be right.
God forbid we allow people to communicate, they may revolt and will not buy services and products we demand they buy. Generations to come will be born never knowing the joy of human communication, "All hail the almighty conglomerate of Amazon and Google.", then genuflect the sign of the A and G in front of their sacred devices.
Same old story
Bury some nasty cack in the software, when it's well and truly ubiquitous and it can't easily be removed, apologise to whomever is whinging about it. Make minor changes but state it can't be "undone" without destroying something everyone uses, make a token payment to shut up the other party and continue to slurp the private data!
To those say they're not dangerous
Have you actually ever flown any sort of drone? Cheap drones can be very dangerous.
Very expensive drones have a lot of safety features built in, self correcting, safe-land, return-to-base, video feedback and easier to control. The cheaper end of the market are the ultra-cheap stunt drones. When I first started to play with drones I learned using a cheap £50 stunt drone. They have no safety features, next to no self-correction and are almost 100% manual control and take a serious amount of concentration. My first drone was a small 6" model, learning to get it up in the air it once shot across the floor straight into my legs and left me with tiny cuts and bruises on my shins. When the battery cut out you had 15 secs to get it down out of the air or it would simply crash down. Now imagine one twice the size, falling from sky into a crowd of half a dozen people or more, someone is going to lose and eye or get some minor injuries.
Not everyone buys state of the art pukka £1500+ drones with full video feedback, incredible self-correction and flight control, some people do it on the cheap and buy £200 jobbies off fleaBay that are almost completely manual and are very dangerous in the wrong hands. I love manual drones but you take them into the arse-end of nowhere so that no one else is around if something bad happens and you lose control, you don't fly them over a crowd watching a train!
Re: I don't care
No problem then. However. let me remind you of a famous poem.
"First they came for....and I did not speak out for I was not a...."
Twitter IS a toilet
I see Twitter as a private company billboard, if they think you smell, have a wonky eye then they can ban you they like.
I think Linehan almost had it right, but Twitter isn't a toilet, it's a cesspit.
Super Cali's futuristic robo-cars in focus – even though watchdogs say they're something quite atrocious
Looking like that?
I think I'll wait until they put some doors on the bloody car before I get in it!
Why would you leave? If you behave like a good citizen, as you have been taught to be, then you get the "carrot". You get the nice education, somewhere to live, food to eat, the most suitable friends, your family will be looked after, all supplied by the all loving State.
Of course, if the tech bods in DPRK saw how Westerners behave in an online argument in a social media forum they'd think we all have the mental age of 5 year olds and they'd certainly never want to leave their homeland!
'We think autonomous coding is a very real thing' – GitHub CEO imagines a future without programmers
Maybe not for quite a while yet
In 25 years of working with DBs I've yet to find a good SQL code generator. SQL is such a simple language, extremely simple to learn and use, not that difficult to master and yet when you start to go beyond 20 odd lines and use generators to build the code they always come up with the most stupid code that is never efficient. You always end up taking the skeleton generated code and re-writing it or worse jigging the database and data structures to suit it because the code is so complicated to deal with but sort of works. Sometimes people would rather do even more stupid things like duplicate the whole data set into more bizarre forms or start chucking indexes around like wedding confetti killing any hope of efficiency.
When I see a decent code generator for something as simple as SQL that produces a 1500 line explain plan for a 50 table join and it works perfectly, then I'll listen and you can start talking about code generators for more complex languages like C#, Python, Node, C++, etc.
In the future the government wants "1984", we want "Utopia" but what we'll get is "MegaCity-One".
Doesn't Kotlin rely on Java?
I thought Kotlin had a very heavy reliance on the underlying core Java class libraries, at least that's what I heard/read a while back. If so then sadly Java and Oracle are going nowhere, all you get is less need to learn direct Java coding but you will still need to know what's happening under the hood.
"All Watched Over by Machines of Loving Grace"
Welcome to your wonderful free and open society guided by the ( human written ) algorithms of machines, start breaking down the walls and boundaries and feel the love pour in. Oh wait, you mean if we hand over control of complex global systems to machines with no more "sense" than a ZX81, machines we're barely able to fully understand running complex networks of interaction we simply cannot comprehend, things will start f**king up in a serious way?
Well blow me down, who'd a thunk handing over all that to a bunch of spotty CS college dropouts with a single year of studying humanities and ecology systems and with very little world experience, would dump us in this big old fecking mess!
Sounds like a language in itself.
To save files: RecordPoorQualityOn8TrackTape( filename )
To upper case: Scream( string )
To lower case: Guttural ( string )
Screen draw commands like ApplyCorpsePaintToFace(x,y), sadly you only get black and white as colours, only low resolution images and print are allowed like most album covers.
Of course the entire IDE has to use some bizarre obscure font no one can read without the help of the language authors!
Re: my most poetic scripting....
"The Sun'll come out tomorrow."
Nah, Larry's doing his best to make sure we live in perpetual darkness mate!
Re: I tried using this
Good, that's entirely correct my bitch and you'll be suitably punished for it too!
Re: Idiots in the IT field.. too many in the last few years...
One of the key fundamental exercises for creative minds is the classic "thinking outside the box", all great creative minds have to think wildly outside their respective boxes otherwise they will not grow. I'll be honest and state that if you're not coming up with silly ideas at least once a day, then you're obviously a failed AI bot on a system somewhere, as no human being can get through their day without coming up with creative ideas every few hours.
Maybe you're an alien trying to find out more about human civilization? I'd work on learning more about this humour thing, especially if you're in an English speaking country as we have a very rich history of stupid humour due to the ambiguous nature of our language. I'd spend some time on that, as humans we appreciate it when people join in and take part, we're a social species and the more people join in our games the more we all enjoy ourselves.
Re: Love the honestly listed 'features'
Given Powershell's verb-noun syntax ( yes it's scripting, not a real language ) "Fuck-You" sounds perfectly legal.
Opportunity for a complete module here.
"Fuck-This" - exit script ( optional -ForAGameofSoliders param )
"Fuck-That" - kill a process
"Fuck-Yourself" - exit and delete all traces of the script
"Fuck-It" - power down system
Classes and members
I read the first sentence and immediately I was thinking OOP implementation with this Fetlang.
Oh dear Lord I've been in the IT biz way too long, let me out!!
Yep it was all Fred's fault, no denying!
Fine, blame that one person, make an example of them, drag them through the courts for as long as they live just to punish them for what they did but know this, it will happen again. I will stake my house on that bet because the management teams allowed themselves to be in a position that made them reliant on just one person, one single point of failure. In IT we live and die trying to avoid the "single point of failure", this is exactly what happens when that is allowed to happen and it goes catastrophically bad.
I think we accidentally get hung up on the pertinent request, "If I do something X times, what are the facts about X?". In this case we get caught up on getting to that magic fact being driven by the 52 times/year, the 4 times/year or twice a year and start from there. Just human nature I suppose to look for the quickest route through a problem rather than the correct logical route.
The "bag of marbles" visual idea for probabilities takes me back to my school days and later on working through maths homework with my own kids. It's such a great little visual image that immediately registers with the imagination. Don't try to imagine an abstract idea of 12 days over 260 because you cannot be two mutually exclusive things at the same time ( drunk and sober ) , but imagine it's ( 260 = 12 + 248 ) , 12 red marbles and 248 green marbles. Immediately most people, even those who really struggle with maths, can visualise instantly and start to get a handle on probabilities. Oddly my imagined bag of marbles is always dark grey felt with a black draw cord, ha ha!!
Re: So don't review them
"People are still buying software without the Source Code, for crying out loud. And the only reason why anyone would conceal Source Code from users is to disguise what a crock of shit they believe it to be."
What planet are you on?! The average person doesn't understand or even care how a car works, they would never buy a workshop or manufacturer service manual, so long as the engine fires and they can drive it that's all they're concerned with. So why the heck would they care about the code that underpins the software they use on a daily basis?! Just 'cos Hotpoint won't automatically issue me with the service manual for my washing machine that didn't stop me buying one of their machines.
Just because I don't know exactly how a device works, doesn't mean I need to know and doesn't stop me trusting the manufacturer. So long as I get some basic assurance the product is generally fit for purpose I'm OK with purchase. I think FOSS and GPL are superb ideas, they give those who want them choices but for most of us life is too short and too busy to worry about knowing everything about everything. You have to pick your battles carefully and for average Joe Public knowing how an app works is not even going to make it on the top 1000 list of things they need to know in their daily lives.
You vile unbelievers!
You will perish if you dare to deny the future of IT infrastructure! The cloud is magic incarnate! The cloud is the perfect solution to all IT problems! The cloud is all seeing and all knowing! The cloud is and forever it shall be! Cast off the shackles of your locally managed services and server rooms! See the all encompassing glory of remote, hosted infrastructure Do not ever doubt the cloud in all its glorious forms!
I remember my Mum, Dad and me heading to the Belgium Grand Prix in '76, I was 5 at the time and distinctly remember being absolutely terrified of the hovercraft ( with British Rail logo on the tail! ). In the dusty family albums are some shots of my Dad holding me, trying to calm me down with one of those big deep blue beasts in the background.
A load of old pish!
People arguing over bitrate and DACs, the average punter puts on Girls Aloud or some such other shite while they're texting, ironing, farting or whatever so putting in shit-hot audio tech in a phone is a waste of time and investment. When I listen some bunch of spotty twats blasting out some utter bollocks (c)rap music on the train through the tinny little phone speaker that makes it sound like a wasp in a drinks can, then I can only imagine you audiophiles, with regard to mobile phones, have way too much free time on hands for this sort thing!
Note I said mobile phones, top notch, pro studio audio kit is no laughing matter, but we're talking about mobile phones with pissy little tweeter that couldn't play an amplified gnats fart! Some things are worth arguing about, this really is not!
Re: Got my first android phone the other week.
A lot of the time those apps simply go dormant in the foreground but the services stay active in the background. You really want to do it properly look for Google free clean builds from sites likes XDA and flash your phone without any of the Google shit in there in the first place, the only way to be sure the services never even got installed let alone started.
"suggest running a spectrum analyzer on the audio section of the next TV advert"
Yep, it's done to wake up your tablets and phones, they can pick up the audio and that allows the ad-men to do more tracking by looking for the number of "callbacks"!
Easy answer? Stop watching TV as it's full of shite any way! Ha ha!
“Due to NHS Lanarkshire IT issues, the staff bank system and telephone are offline and currently unavailable”
Hold on there....
“Due to general NHS IT underfunding and outsourcing to crap offshore services in the east where no one gives a flying crap about the systems their supposed to be running, the staff bank system and telephone are offline and currently unavailable.”
Shame to see Oracle go this way but they've only themselves to blame. I started my DBA career 22 years ago on Oracle but since them I've grown to love other DB systems, PostgreSQL and SQL Server being my favourite.
If Oracle really want to make a difference then how about they follow MS's lead and put a few more toys in the box for free rather than charging for every single tiny little option. Oh and while they're at it, how about they stop installing options without asking customers and then when you're audited claim the customer installed XYZ and then taking the customer to the cleaners for a dirty great chunk of cash! The day we got severely audited by Oracle and crucified was the day I lost my love for Big Red and decided to learn MySQL, PG and SQL Server.
Game designer Pete Cooke knew about this 30 years ago!
Anyone else remember playing Tau Ceti the game on an 8 bit back in the 1980's?
Kudos to the guy for admitting it was his own fault and doing his very best to sort it out ASAP, given the piss-poor example set by PR agencies these days it's good to see there's still honest people about. As my Granny used to say, better to own up and face the music now than be found wanting later when it's far too late.
I think it's a natural human instinct to want to see the downfall of a hero, sad but true facet of human nature is jealousy. We can speculate all we wish but in the end it's up a court of law of decide, hopefully in a fair and just way although this will be held in the US and the only way to secure a fair trial is to have very deep pockets.
I suspect, as another poster as said, this guy probably isn't guilty of much but has grubby fingers from poking in too many pies and the US gov wants to use him to nail some bigger fish, the only way to do that is to hold him long enough to pin something minor on him and get him to squeal a little. He'll probably end up with the equivalent of some 18 month suspended sentence and sent on his way in a year or two with a proviso to never enter the US again.
"I'm sure Bubba will help him adapt to prison life."
Ha ha, yeah 'cos prison rape is just so damn funny!
I remember my first full eclipse as a kid. I remember the total silence in the middle of the day as all the animals fall silent was one of the creepiest things I experienced. I'd love to make time to travel to see another one day.
Re: The best way to acquire a programming skill
Absolutely! We all get sent on courses or given new toys to play with but how often do get to use the technology? I personally find it very hard to simply learn something for the sake of it, in one ear and our the other if I'm honest. However, if you give me a project involving some particular set of technologies then I find the experience of getting "down and dirty" with it helps cement that knowledge in the old noggin for far longer and I tend find a lot more uses the same tech can be put to going forward.
Not for every one I know, but dump your old number
I happily dump my number every 2-3 years and get a new one off whichever network is supplying me at that time. I know it's definitely not for everyone but it's a great way to get rid of people you dislike and only keep those numbers you wish to keep up with!
Re: This is a bad thing
"Speaking for myself, I'm sufficiently adult that I don't need some tosspot regulator to bleat on my behalf, YMMV."
Do you have kids? If so then you know exactly how bloody stupid and easily influenced they are by everything they see around them. That's one thing I've learned bringing up a daughter over the last 20 years, they take every single thing they learn from you, they rebel against their mothers and they look to you, their father, as the first and most important bloke in the life. Then when they move on to moon over some spotty, floppy-haired bell-end in their class they at least know what a sensible bloke is actually like as they've grown up with one all their lives. They know that people, men and women, deserve equal respect.
I want my daughter to grow up and know that she is respected, my wife and I respect her, she can respect both men and women. Don't get me wrong I like to see some complete div making a mess in a kitchen 'cos he's a bloke, it's funny but kids are daft and I don't want my kids to see one message telling them all blokes are as thick as stupid kids and then seeing me, a sensible and I would say typical bloke who does his fair share of housework and sharing the chores, and she's gets conflicting messages.
I've been playing with it since its first release on Linux and it's not bad. However I just get the feeling that Microsoft is creating a solution for a problem that only exists for Microsoft, not the consumers. Anyone with good SQL Server skills is a generally a reasonable Windows tech too, they're not going to want to learn a whole new operating system especially one like UNIX ( cut the crap, Linux is UNIX!) which is not always the easiest to work with. I came from Oracle on Unix in the 80's, then Oracle on Windows and up through SQL Server on Windows, so I've had to learn to be a "jack of all trades" to survive, however my personal experience of SQL Server only admins I've met is that they're happy on Windows and they like it that way. The only people likely to want to use this are accomplished UNIX admins with solid DBA skills in lots of different DBs who have to support apps that only install on SQL Server an nothing else. I can't see many Windows admins and/or SQL Server admins jumping on this. This is just a project that proves MS knows Windows is slowly being hit in the server rooms, both on-prem and especially in the cloud, where every single inch of rack space needs to earn its keep.
Re: Do big technology companies really think Trekkies are gullible enough...
SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!
Get 'em down my local on a Friday night, watch 'em tip some nutter's pint over and then we'll see how tough they think they are!
Oh come on
It'd be easy to gloat but come on, if you had a great idea to attempt to help very rich trust-funded tat-collectors fork over their cash by the suitcase on some daft idea of yours, you wouldn't do it? I know I bloody well would!
Shame, I really wanted Vertu to work as it proved beyond a doubt that there was several born every minute, not just one.
Hmmm, chalk up one more reason why investing in a nice chunky NAS box or two ( need to mirror, right! ) to store your music and vids is a good option, you're not beholden to some fly-by-night "service" that will upsticks and bugger off with your carefully crafted entertainment selections. Welcome to the real world Millennial types who seem to think the Internet is running on Unicorn farts and rainbows and where nothing ever goes wrong!
"Good artists borrow. Great artists steal" , said Picasso supposedly. Web design is artistry, and like any other line of work it has a large number of lazy people simply nicking other people's ideas which simply proves they never really had any true creativity or understanding of the skills they profess to have. In any business sphere there are a small percentage of people who are world class, then a big chunk of hard working types who know their stuff and then a huge proportion riding the coattails of the aforementioned.
As an aside, can anyone explain why web design was ever considered an IT skill?! While the rest of us toiled in the computer rooms of companies and schools, everyone else scoffed at us until the WWW explosion in the 90s and suddenly IT wasn't geeky or nerdy anymore when they saw how much skilled IT people earned behind the scenes. All of a sudden it was an excuse for artist types to look "retro-geek trendy" by saying they were working in IT when they were basically graphic designers working on computers.
It's all disgusting!!!
Most computer boards have female sockets ( read: orifices ) taking it hard from male connectors! Mother and daughter boards being raped by phallic male connectors!! Urgh, it's horrendous and sickening male centric computing! I've half a mind to write to my MP!