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* Posts by ssharwood

96 posts • joined 5 Mar 2012

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Engineer named Jason told to re-write the calendar

ssharwood

Re: Productivity slump ahead?

As if anybody was going to be at their best next week anyway!

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At Christmas, do you give peas a chance? Go cold turkey? What is the perfect festive feast?

ssharwood

Feel like I gotta add the Australian perspective.

To quote Tim Minchin, Christmas is all about white wine in the sun. My family usually nips down to the beach for an early swim at about 0700. The roads are empty and there's nearly always a beach-related gift under the tree.

Lotsa seafood. Prawns are a must. I usually queue at a local wholesale fishmonger at about 5AM on Christmas Eve to buy a coupla kilos of prawns. There's then a nice moment when the best prawn-peelers in the family don aprons and get 'em ready to cook.

The prawns kick things off and there's usually a big roast something too. If possible we get it done on the BBQ with the lid down, to keep the heat outside rather than cooking the kitchen.

By mid afternoon it's best to keep drinking - stop and the heat means you get a 4PM hangover

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IBM asks remaining staff to take career advice from HR-bot

ssharwood

Tell you what - explain to us how this bot helps you as a manager, helps IBM staff and helps IBM.

Give us an example of better outcomes it delivers.

Asking cos the IBM staff who pointed it out to us feel it's just more impersonal but insincere "we care about you" stuff in the wake of relocations, resource actions that strip the company of skills needed on live projects and drop remaining colleagues in it, attempts to reduce benefits and a bifurcation of the company in which those who work on the strategic initiatives are valued and the rest just aren't.

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ssharwood

Re: So basically, management are admiting IBM's failed as a company?

I'd love to hear from IBM. But it doesn't even send press releases. Local people here in oz know nuh-think. So we rely on other sources

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Lord of the Rings TV show shopped around Hollywood

ssharwood

Re: Why hasn't anyone done a Thomas Covenant series/film?

It would be a fine alternative to Gitmo, but with worse torture

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ssharwood

Re: Why hasn't anyone done a Thomas Covenant series/film?

Because the niche for an endlessly self-loathing protagonist is occupied by BoJack Horseman.

And because they're boring.

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Vibrating walls shafted servers at a time the SUN couldn't shine

ssharwood

Re: Did anyone else expect something else?

Something smutty? Tut tut. We're not that kind of site. Snigger

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Sysadmin tells user CSI-style password guessing never w– wait WTF?! It's 'PASSWORD1'!

ssharwood

Re: "They looked for the password on the CD . . ."

I recently opened a bank account and was told - by a teller who could see my password in plaintext - that my password was too long and complex. She suggested I pick a simpler password intsead to avoid forgetting my properly complex password. This is why we can't have nice things.

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Monkey selfie case settles for a quarter of future royalties

ssharwood

Re: I see a simple solution

Or until the super intelligent monkey from the labs gets out and starts an ape army ...

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User worked with wrong app for two weeks, then complained to IT that data had gone missing

ssharwood

Re: See where it says " Tips and corrections" at the bottom of the article?

Speaking as the author, a gentle ribbing is fine. Sometimes readers sent rather mean and rude notes as if to say we simply should not ever err.

FWIW the SFO and LON offices have a production desk to check for mistakes. Here in Oz we just try our very hardest.

S.

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ssharwood

Re: Ped-ANT-ic typo in title

Damn. Busy day and I missed it. [Slaps self sharply, slinks into corner]

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Bombastic boss gave insane instructions to sensible sysadmin, with client on speakerphone

ssharwood

Re: Staff?

Back to sub-editing school for me, then :-(

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Major Oracle E-business suite upgrade coming in 2019. Or maybe 2020

ssharwood

Re: Headline should be Oracle admits "expensive licences have no new functionality for on prem"

IMHO plenty of readers found that between the lines ...

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User filed fake trouble tickets to take helpful sysadmin to lunches

ssharwood

Re: No lunch for me

Well played IMHO

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ssharwood

Re: Not an apology

And?????

Not that we expect readers will kiss and tell, but ...

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User left unable to type passwords after 'tropical island stress therapy'

ssharwood

Re: Last Friday your correspondent snorkeled on a tropical island

Back to the island? Ok. Off I go then. I could get two bars from the bar there. If I absolutely must work there and snorkel on my coffee breaks, then I will to satisfy commentards.

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Hot news! Combustible Galaxy Note 7 to return as 'Galaxy Note FE'

ssharwood

Re: Facile Emanations

It's a followup story. One I felt was worth doing for the sake of completeness. It offered a chance for some fun. Seriously - what is Samsung doing having anything that alludes to its problems in this new name.

Anyway if you didn't like it I'll try for better puns next time. Or I could point you in the direction of our many recent scoops.

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IBM asks contractors to take a pay cut

ssharwood

Will signal suffice? My number is on the contacts page

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Horse named 'Cloud Computing' finds burst of speed to beat 'Classic Empire' in actual race

ssharwood

Re: But...

There once was a horse named 'hoof-hearted'. Made for interesting race calls

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Boss swore by 'For Dummies' book about an OS his org didn't run

ssharwood

Re: But the real issue is

Public holiday here in Oz on Friday. Soz.

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There's no shame in VMware quitting the public cloud

ssharwood

Re: No

Can we please put this 'The Reg slips in paid puff pieces' thing to bed? Because we don't. Ever.

I'll be outta here and driving an Uber if we do under my byline or any other.

You also seem to have missed the bits where I say VMware has weak and confusing products. Who would pay for that?

To your point of closing services being shameful, vendors are businesses. Of course they start with ShinyHappy. And of course they run like hell if the money doesn't flow. Would you rather they persist with duds forever? Would your pension fund?

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GitLab invokes the startup defence to explain data loss woes

ssharwood

Re: @ShelLuser

The emails were entirely civil, from both parties. Mine >>always<< are. FWIW I grew up writing formal letters and maintain that etiquette in email to this day.

The offer of an interview was made when the outage was fresh news. I twice chased up the offer, but the email trail went cold.

After more than a week, the offer of an interview was revived. I explained the line of questioning I intended to pursue before the interview and, as the story explains, said I wanted to talk to someone with operation responsibilities rather than marketing.

Anything else you'd like to know?

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ssharwood

Sorry to disappoint- no nipples were excited during the writing of this story

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Top tech company's IP was looted by China, so it plans to hack back

ssharwood

As I tried to explain in the piece, I came in expecting B-arkers and found myself in the company of informed and intelligent people.

This event was much more than a luvvie-fest.

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San Francisco's sinking luxury Millennium Tower: Tilt spotted FROM SPACE

ssharwood

Alternative alternative headline

Property developer in corner-cutting let the tenants sort this out later non-shocker.

It's the weekend here - this is moonlighting so obvs not up to my Mon-Fri standard

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Angry user demands three site visits to fix email address typos

ssharwood

That's an awesome KB. Makes me think we need a reader-discovered amusing KB hotline.

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World's shortest international flight: now just 21km in 7 minutes

ssharwood

Remember that airports now make more money from ground activities than from airlines. Rents are high. Ads are pricey. And don't get me started on parking charges

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50 tech jobs to go at AirServices Australia

ssharwood

Re: The best lessons learnt

Not apologising for this decision, but politicians usually have a busy roster of engagements in their electorates over the weekend - I've seen mine running water for a junior footy team. Their departments close for the weekend. They should stay in Canberra why?

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Panasonic wants you to wear Li-Ion batteries. The ones that explode

ssharwood

Re: Oh Gawd

That's just what the NSA is asking too!

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iPhone 7 first fondle

ssharwood

Re: It looks great, must be perfect then ( Apple Speak)

YMMV but in my long experience, even a few minutes with a phone tells you a lot. Is it fast? Is it responsive to the touch? How good is the fit and finish? Is the UI cluttered and does it get in the way of the device? In my experience, premium devices quickly stand out. Lesser smartphones just don't quite behave as nicely. Having said that, it doesn't take long for battery life to dwindle and devices to slow a little.

And yeah, I think there was a need for it. There's huge curiosity about the iPhone. We're trying to sate it ASAP.

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Luxe cable crimper

ssharwood

I worried some folk might perceive it as a disguised promo.

Our rule is we don't disguise promos. I thought this was interesting, but because it is All About A Product, and a product that needs to be seen rather than described, slipped it in as a news byte rather than a full story.

Does that answer the question?

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Just not cricket: Microsoft's big data Googly called No Ball

ssharwood

Re: Sight

Sigh. Damn you autocorrect

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Meet Deliveroo's ‘bold and impactful’ new logo. No, really

ssharwood

Re: K9

IMHO Art Spiegelman's lawyers are going to have to pore over some copies of MAUS and ponder their next move.

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A USB stick as a file server? We've done it!

ssharwood

Re: WebDAV or SMB ?

WebDAV i think

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40 years ago today the US govt sent a taxpayer-funded robot to invade an alien hostile world

ssharwood

I remember devouring an issue of National Geographic devoted to the Viking missions. Especially the bits about the microbe-attracting substance nicknamed "chicken soup". My grandmothers were both big chicken soup makers and I understood just what the Mars boffins were up to.

And no - there were no topless tribal shots in that issue of National Geographic. It needs saying before one of you people makes a gag about it.

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Computex 2016: Full of people in cold sweats, retching after VR demos

ssharwood

Re: Dual Cameras?

Well we do know the iPhone's appeal comes from a powerful glamour!

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ssharwood

Re: RE : Lego is an obvious health and safety risk in the office.

I saw a Minions store in a Taipei mall. Nothing but Minions. On every conceivable product.

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Airbus to build plane that's even uglier than the A380

ssharwood

Re: Beluga Fans in Uproar Shocker

Awoooga! Awoooga! PR alert!

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ssharwood

Re: A380 ugly?

Agreed. A 737 with winglets is noisier on descent than a 747 or 380. I'm about 4km from the runway so have literally tens of thousands of experiences in this regard.

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ssharwood

Re: A380 ugly?

I gather the the thing that really ticks Boeing off about the 380 is that the 777 has it covered on seat capacity. Yes the 380 can do more high yield seats - Biz class - but the 777's operating costs are lower and its ETOPS rating means there are almost no routes it can't match. SYD-LAX is flown by 777s every day.

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36 idiots running SAP under attack after flubbing 2010 patch

ssharwood

Re: No, not really child's play

They've had five years to get this done. Five years. Yes, I understand that patching business applications is rather more complex than the stuff I do with tech. But five years ....

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Google asks Unicode to look over 13 new emoji showing professional women

ssharwood

Re: Meh....

Won't someone think of the children? The children educated so poorly that they can no longer form sentences, but can only communicate by sending each other cartoons?

Does that explain it?

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Sure, let's build the NBN with technology that's not proven at scale

ssharwood

Re: So El Reg now wants FTTP?

I'm not pushing FTTP. I say it's the preferred solution in the best possible world.

nbn didn't make the technology choice: the government did with its "faster, cheaper" policy.

I stand by the previous article because I believe G.fast and its successors offer sufficient service for the medium term. Once nbn is up and running, it can use cashflow to fund future upgrades.

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Stross' new Laundry list

ssharwood

Re: This should be fun

Your tea preferences have been logged and will shortly pass over the Reg-to-CONTROL hotline, straight to Maxwell Smart's shoephone.

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Waleed Aly's NBN intervention is profoundly unhelpful

ssharwood

Re: A Misunderstanding....

Agreed. But the notion that FTTP will mean buffering never happens but FTTN means it will is ridiculous. It's just not the final carriage medium that matters.

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The Register to publish Mindful Sysadmin adult colouring book

ssharwood

No. It's real. Click the order link

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The Register's entirely serious New Year's resolutions for 2016

ssharwood

Re: In other words

No offer. And no on all fronts. We'll still be the reg, full of snark and scepticism. Still telling it like it is in colorful language with cracking headlines. And more depth and broader horizons.

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ssharwood

Re: Courtesy of Barry White

Billy Joel, surely?

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ssharwood

Agreed. If the image doesn't add something to a story ot shouldn't be in your face.

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