* Posts by Crisp

2852 publicly visible posts • joined 16 Jan 2012

Child support IT fail: Deadbeat mums 'n' dads off the hook

Crisp

Unable to report payment arrears properly.

Somehow I don't think that will stop them from applying for Deduction of Earnings Order and taking the arrears anyway.

ASA tuts at TalkTalk over broadband speed estimator

Crisp

@Tom 38, Re: If its wrong most of the time...

Thanks for the explanation. That makes a lot of sense.

Crisp

Re: If its wrong most of the time...

I don't understand how they can get it wrong.

They know where you are, they know where the exchange is and they know what the transport medium will be. Shouldn't it just be simple maths?

Pints under attack as Lord Howe demands metric-only UK

Crisp

Re: Also, does it matter ...

And a litre of water weighs a kilogram. Much easier to convert in your head.

Crisp

Re: Napoleon and his metric system conquered Europe,

There's something wrong with my hand. I can only count up to 31 on it.

Crisp
Pint

Re: metrication has already happened

If your pint has too much head on it, you have the right to have it topped up.

The more you know...

Crisp
Coat

OK. Time to stop this nonsense and use a real unit like the Bloit

The bloit is defined as the distance the king's favorite pet runs in an hour.

Crisp
Pint

Point 57 of a litre please.

It's the same fizzy glass of joy no matter what measuring system you use. Until I can actually buy a litre of beer at a pub, I'm not going to ask for one.

And who buys milk in pints? Down my local shop it's either a 1 litre bottle, or 2 litres or 4.

Casablanca to screen for free on Facebook

Crisp
Flame

70 years on

Who exactly is the copyright protecting here?

Warner Bros claims to have a "A Commitment to the Community.", it would be nice to see them practice what they preach.

West Midlands plods get mobile fingerprint tech

Crisp
Big Brother

Not providing a fingerprint scan.

That sounds like suspicious subversive behaviour if you ask me!

Looks like you're nicked sonny!

Crisp

Re: What guarantees do we have...

Absolutely none.

As soon as the police process your DNA and fingerprints, it's on their database forever. Regardless of whether you've committed a crime or not.

I can see this technology becoming an essential part of any police officers fishing kit.

World+Dog as likely to view vids on PC as TV

Crisp

Does anyone still have a TV?

I hear that they are like PC's but less functional.

How to simulate a light armoured vehicle

Crisp

Re: Where do I sign up for knobology training?

Better than a Certificate from the University of New Technology then :)

Crisp

Re: As far as "ologies" go I think that I'll pass on this one.

You get an ology, you're a scientist!

Crisp
Coat

Where do I sign up for knobology training?

And what kind of letters would I get after my name?

Google compressed-filth legal battle with smut site ended in US

Crisp
Paris Hilton

I think I speak for everyone when I say

Where is the sexy footage?

Paris, because... well, no Megan Fox icon yet.

UK milk wastage = 20,000 cars = actually completely unimportant

Crisp
FAIL

Re: How could the holocaust have happened when King Canute couldn't even hold back the tide?

That's a total non-sequitur. The one has absolutely nothing to do with the other.

Crisp
Unhappy

I can't do anything anymore!

Can't drive a car. Can't drink milk. I can't even decompose without accruing a carbon debt.

Headbanger plays Star Trek theme on floppy drives

Crisp

Re: Line printers

IIRC, aren't those the same programs that used to sometimes either:

a) shake the printer apart.

b) produce enough noise to temporarily stun unfortunate lusers.

Facebook co-founder renounces US citizenship pre-IPO

Crisp

If we increase taxes for the rich, rich people will just move abroad!

But if we lower taxes for the rich, the rich just move abroad anyway.

Bugger.

SpaceX and Bigelow sign deal for inflatable space stations in orbit

Crisp

Re: Flatland?

That's a bloody good point. Why aren't they growing space potatoes?

I would have thought that having something living in their prototypes would have been a better integrity test.

Crisp

Frobozz Magic Space Station

Warranty:

This space station is guaranteed against all defects in parts and workmanship for a period of 76 milliseconds from date of purchase or until first used, whichever comes first.

Warning:

This space station is made of thin plastic.

Good Luck!

Russian upstart claims BitTorrent-killer

Crisp
Trollface

Does anyone know where I can download a copy of PriatePay IP adresses?

There's probably a .torrent with them in around somewhere :)

Crisp

Re: DoS?

"That looks like spoofing and sending bogus data, not exactly overspamming DoS."

Sounds like it falls under the 1990 Computer Misuse Act. "Unauthorised acts with intent to impair, or with recklessness as to impairing, operation of computer, etc."

Let’s send 3D printers TO THE MOON

Crisp

Re: Good thinking, terrible application

I'm not going to be entirely convinced until we have 3D printers that can print out a 3D printer.

The Pirate Bay cries foul over Pirate Bay copycats

Crisp

Unfortunately, the system is self regulating.

The people that download torrents do occasionally talk to each other.

Advertising prefect spanks Virgin

Crisp
Paris Hilton

With a headline like that...

I was expecting a more NSFW article.

Paris, because there is no "Where's the Megan Fox angle?" icon.

Star Trek's Wesley Crusher blasts Google+ landgrab

Crisp

Re: Earl Grey-

Real men drink prune juice.

Cameron hardens stance on UK web filth block

Crisp

An MP trying to solve a soft, easy, non-problem.

Don't they have more important things to do?

Kids that might possibly at some point in the future be exposed to some kind of pornography isn't exactly a priority at the moment. Nor can I see a future where it ever will be a priority.

US, Euro e-car makers back 'standard' AC/DC jack

Crisp

Awesome

Dare you to stick your tongue on it!

Germans hail Vulture 1 spaceplane

Crisp
Boffin

Re: Erm...

No German equivalent to boffin?

Eierkopf!

Jolly rogered

Crisp

"Dick recognition software, perhaps?"

Already filing the patent for it...

Megan Fox fingers fondleslab in sexy store promo

Crisp

I for one

Would like to know when the "Where's the Megan Fox angle?" icon will arrive.

Software functionality not subject to copyright: EU court

Crisp

Re: Speaking as a developer...

Awesome. Can we get back to writing code now?

BSkyB boss: 'I don't work for Rupert Murdoch, remember'

Crisp

Yeah.....

I'm not buying it.

Britain prepares for government by iPad

Crisp

I'm confused.

There was a story the other day about the cost of Windows for government. Are our MP's Microsoft whores or Apple whores?

UK plc 'needs a chief engineer' - also a chief social scientist

Crisp

Re: There should be a cynic in the house of Lords

I'd trust them more than I'd trust a load of MP's.

Crisp

Re: There should be a cynic in the house of Lords

"I would consider it like jury service: Just pick a load of citizens, preferably from different backgrounds and areas of expertise, and have them oversee govt descisions for a few months at a time."

That's pretty much how I imagine it too. A kind of civic duty sanity check.

I'd also introduce a method of firing MP's as well. That way, if you don't like what some bone headed MP has done, then you could arrange a a vote in their constituency to decide if they should lose their seat.

Crisp

Re: There should be a cynic in the house of Lords

I'd go one further and take a leaf out of the the Greeks book and have 12 people in compulsory employment to oversee government decisions. 3 months employment at a time, with people randomly selected from a list of registered voters that have an above college education.

I think that politicians would be a lot more careful about their decision making if the public were literally looking over their shoulder.

GCSE, A-level science exams ARE dumbed down - watchdog

Crisp

Re: GCSEs no longer fulfil their purpose

Why use a Bell curve on just a years results? The class of '91 might be average, the class of '92 might all be geniuses. With a bell curve distribution wouldn't both crops of students appear to be the same?

Crisp

Re: On a brighter note

They'd need to teach them how to type first.

The amount of people that claim to know how to use a computer that I see finger pecking away at the keyboard both irritates and angers me.

ICO mulls stiffer probe into Google Street View Wi-Fi slurp

Crisp

Yeah, but

Google haven't interfered with the investigation of a childs murder yet.

Dell sneaks out Ivy Bridge special edition Inspirons

Crisp

They are going to have a hard time selling them

They've got rounded corners!

Dinosaurs were DRAINED of blood by GIGANTIC HORROR FLEAS

Crisp

That looks like a picture of a lawyer.

Or a politician. I can't quite tell from this angle.

Moon at annual perigee this weekend

Crisp

Re: 10-1 on that

Isn't a sunrise just like a sunset but in reverse?

Crocodoc tries to take bite out of Adobe dominance

Crisp

Clicked on this article expecting a CrocoDuck story

I would have liked a Crocoduck story.

Intel bakes palm-sized Core i5 NUC to rival Raspberry Pi

Crisp

Re: Shut down on fan fail.

Then glue it to a massive passive heat sink.

IIRC Intel chips just slow down when they reach their maximum operating temperature, So even without adequate ventilation it shouldn't be a showstopper. (What kind of embedded system would run all the CPU cores at 100% anyway?)

Boffins cross atom-smasher streams, 'excited' beauty pops into being

Crisp
Coat

A semi-baryon beauty

I would have liked to have seen a pair of highly excited beauties entangled...

Descriptive Camera develops text instead of images

Crisp

Re: What do you want to do now?

It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

Either that or take the lens cap off.