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* Posts by Crisp

2852 publicly visible posts • joined 16 Jan 2012

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Amount of meat we eat will barely affect future climate change

Crisp
Paris Hilton

Can I still eat bacon sandwiches?

Although, there's every chance that I'd carry on eating bacon sandwiches even if it did destroy the planet.

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Nigerian scams are hyper-efficient idiot finders

Crisp
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Re: I hope this continues

Even if it was you personally that was enslaved for 500 years, it's not legal, just, or karmic.

It's just you being a dick.

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Crisp
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FAIL

Re: family or fiends [that's Microsoft's typo]

And "monetized", what the hell is that?

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Pirate Bay founders appeal to EC to save them from Swedish justice

Crisp
Coat

a "HAL entity that kinda runs itself."

$ sudo Block piratebay.org

>>

>>

>> I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that.

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Assange's Ecuador asylum bid has violated £200k UK bail, say cops

Crisp
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Coat

Re: why go to such great lengths to avoid going to Sweden?

Fish puns? Oh my cod!

You're giving me a haddock!

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Chick-lit naughty girl MP Mensch starts own web-jabber service

Crisp

Wow! Yet another social messaging site.

Where does Louise Mensch get her ideas from?

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Holographic storage: We're going to do it this time. No, really

Crisp
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Re: 50-Year lifetime

Where can I buy a 5.25" stone tablet engraver for my PC?

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Crisp

No Zettabyte drives yet then?

Windows 11 is probably going to need at least an Exabyte just to install.

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Mad Apple patent: Cloneware to convince trackers you don't like porn

Crisp
FAIL

How is this different from running a TOR exit node?

With a TOR exit node you've got plausible deniability. Running cloneware software explicitly designed to clobber an investigation smacks of intent.

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Schneier spanks AV industry over Flame failures

Crisp
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FAIL

Re: desolder and remove the USB ports

Or you could just turn them off in the BIOS. Save trashing a perfectly good motherboard.

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Google blocks MP3 rippers from YouTube

Crisp
FAIL

If it can be viewed

It can be recorded.

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'Kindness of America' snapper shot himself in 'act of self-promotion'

Crisp
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Double Jeopardy

I don't think it works the way you think it does.

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Brussels could 'clash' with London over UK snooper's charter

Crisp
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Coat

Re: You are the terrorist threat

I didn't know I was a terrorist!

I guess I'd best turn myself in then. I wonder if I'll get a reward.

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Crisp

"Responding more urgently to terrorist threat warnings"

What terrorist threat? And how does monitoring every thing I do online help prevent that?

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Microsoft takes on tablets with keyboard-equipped Surface

Crisp

Is that a rebranded Asus Transformer?

Because that's what it looks like.

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Ofcom: High-speed hookups still a UK monopoly - except in London

Crisp
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Re: OK, but there are competition problems in retail markets too...

Because some clueless stuffed suit in marketing looked at the numbers and thought to himself. "Mbps looks bigger! Bigger is better right? No one really understands what these numbers mean anyway. Lets just use the biggest one."

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China aims to redraw the petaflop graph with 100 Pflops in 2015

Crisp

The future is bright!

The future is Mandarin.

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TSA screeners spooked by Apple's 'futuristic artifact'

Crisp
Coat

Should have just said it was a Companion Cube

And just left it at that.

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Crytek says future is free-to-play

Crisp
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Re: Merchandising!

Dammit! Given a list of n items. People will only remember n-1. Which is why I always put an elephant at the end of my shopping list.

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Crisp
Coat

Merchandising!

Where the real money from the movie is made!

Spaceballs the T-shirt!

Spaceballs the Colouring Book!

Spaceballs the Lunchbox!

Spaceballs the Breakfast Cereal!

Spaceballs the Flame Thrower!

(The kids love that one.)

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America's X-37B top-secret spaceplane returns to Earth

Crisp
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Coat

Re: Probably doesnt trigger gaydar

He's probably picking interference from a gay weather balloon.

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Voyager ticks one box for interstellar arrival

Crisp

We should be sending more.

With today's technology we should be able to get better instrument packages to the heliosphere in less than 35 years surely?

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Crisp
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Re: "God Speed"

God Speed isn't fast enough!

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Health dept puts off NHS 111 helpline roll-out for 6 months

Crisp
Coat

He's looking a bit peaky

Someone call 111!

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Scottish council muzzles 9-year-old school dinner photo blogger

Crisp
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Re: Council statement is here

"Argyll and Bute Council wholly refutes the unwarranted attacks on its schools catering service which culminated in national press headlines which have led catering staff to fear for their jobs"

I'd fear for my job too if I was producing meals of the quality depicted in the article.

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Crisp
Go

Kids today!

With their legitimate blogs with interesting stories.

If Martha had been blogging about anything else and had got her picture in the papers, you can guarantee that the Head would have capitalised on the publicity.

If I was in charge of El Reg I would be offering her a job. Lunch Register anyone? :)

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Asteroid zips past Earth

Crisp
Coat

5.3 million kilometers away

I guess that's too far away to hit it with a mining laser and scoop up free metals?

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Tomb Raider dev denies Croft rape scene

Crisp
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Re: It's an adult game

It's not something that I would want to expose children to.

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Crisp
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Re: It's an adult game

It's an adult game. Marketed at and played by adults. It depicts the main character gunning down various other characters. Killing them.

If the game explored the issue of racism, then I would fully expect it to have racist themes.

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Crisp

It's an adult game

Why should it not have adult themes?

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Cabinet Office promises to challenge 'culture of secrecy' on IT projects

Crisp
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It'll never happen

That sounds too much like common sense Benjamin.

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Vodafone's small, controversial tax bill validated by UK.gov

Crisp

We can negotiate for a lower tax bill!?

I'm writing my letter to George Osborne now! :D

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Apple adds gay and lesbian icons to iOS 6 messaging

Crisp

Bi-sexual Icons too please.

Let's not leave anyone out.

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Apple silences mute kids' speech app in patent blowup

Crisp

PRC Have a better patent than that.

They have a patent for an "Image display device", if they enforced that patent, then they'd make billions!

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Wraps come off UK super-snooper draft plans

Crisp
Big Brother

Quote From Article

"I don’t think we should pass broad laws on a promise from government that they will never abuse them."

I think Julian Huppert is a bit late...

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Reborn UK internet super-snooper charter to be unveiled today

Crisp
Big Brother

This is difficult

Lately I'm finding it very difficult to tell the difference between the government and the terrorists that they claim to be trying to protect me from.

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Girl Geek Dinner lady: The IT Crowd is putting schoolgirls off tech

Crisp
Coat

I don't think women are that influenced by what they see on TV

Or if they are... They haven't been watching enough Lynx adverts.

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Trust lawyers, not techies, when it comes to the cloud

Crisp

Lawyer hands out free advice

And it turns out to be worth exactly what was paid for it.

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Oracle staffer accused of sex-for-favours in Singapore

Crisp
Paris Hilton

Sales Reps usually are hot.

Because sex sells. There's a reason that advertisers drape scantily clad women and men all over their products. Because it works.

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UK.gov cloud is 'biggest breakthrough' - UK.gov cloud CIO

Crisp
FAIL

Integration across Whitehall is an issue

That's always been an issue. The governments right hand is barely aware that its left hand exists.

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Two new Jovian moons confirmed

Crisp
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Re: apollno

Any hyperbolic trajectory for him would do.

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Now TalkTalk cuts Brits' access to The Pirate Bay

Crisp

That's the deadly threat of torrents dealt with once and for all.

I for one will be happy that pop stars, actors and movie moguls will be able to eat three square meals a day and keep a roof over their heads now.

Or at any rate, it should give them one less excuse to hang around begging on the streets of LA.

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Japan still in love with the fax

Crisp
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A4 LOAD LETTER

It was a printer wasn't it?

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Pint-size gizmo shoots X-RAY LASER for first time

Crisp
Alert

Where can I buy some lead underpants?

I'm now concerned about x-ray laser wielding scientists rampaging over the city. Run for your lives!

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Microsoft's Azure cloud slides onto OCZ flash

Crisp
Paris Hilton

I was disappointed the the article did not relate to the picture.

Paris Icon. Because that doesn't relate to the article either.

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LINX 'downed by ethernet loop' on external network

Crisp
Coat

What goes around

Comes around I guess. At least on poorly configured networks anyway.

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SpaceX Dragon SPLASHDOWN in Pacific! Private space triumph

Crisp

Definitely Beerworthy

I'll bet there's some champagne corks popping at SpaceX right now too.

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Magnetic medicines hit the cancerous spot

Crisp

That is frigging genius!

I'd always thought that some of the worlds major problems could be solved with magnets.

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BSkyB blocks The Pirate Bay for millions of Brits

Crisp
Paris Hilton

Conventional Access

So maybe it's time for a little unconventional access.

Paris... because, well... you figure it out.

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Richard Branson gets nod to strap rocket on SpaceShipTwo

Crisp
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It's Science Jim,

But not as we know it.

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