* Posts by Crisp

2852 publicly visible posts • joined 16 Jan 2012

Russian Christians boosted by Pussy Riot law spank 'sinful' Apple logo

Crisp

"it seems to be a genuine concern for these believers"

Believers are genuinely concerned about a lot of things.

Most of it doesn't exist though, and so doesn't affect the rest of us.

Crisp
FAIL

It's a sad day for religion

When gods need protection under the law. It used to be that gods would just hurl a lightning bolt and smite people they didn't like. It seems that todays modern god prefers to hurl lawyers instead.

ISS crew fling out arm, grab SpaceX Dragon capsule

Crisp
Coat

Re: One step closer

This is surely The Enterprise that will usher in a new era of commercial space flight.

And you can bet your arse that pun was intended.

Is lightspeed really a limit?

Crisp

Re: Just the answer?

Where's your working out?

Crisp

Re: velocity addition

Hey I didn't say he was wrong. I just wanted a more exact figure.

Crisp

Re: velocity addition

Oh Really?

Someone get me a calculator. And a slide rule.

Big Blue bigwig: Tiny processor knobs can't shrink forever

Crisp

Growth, year on year

It's got to come to an end at some point.

Apple Maps too good for Taiwanese military

Crisp

Re: "high-profile single man prison"

Number 6.

Man charged over alleged April Jones Facebook trolling

Crisp

Re: Lynch mob mentality

The Pedofinder General, by the power vested in him by knee jerk British Tabloids, has found him guilty in the court of public opinion.

Crisp

Re: No different from a Frankie Boyle joke

Apparently there is a difference when you charge someone a £35 entrance fee.

Mystery martian object is relic of (our) civilisation

Crisp
Coat

It's not really that small

It's just very far away.

WoW cities wiped out by 'exploit'

Crisp

It's crashing terrible!

Oh the simulated humanity!

Experts mull 'kill switch' for stock-wrecking techno-blunders

Crisp
FAIL

A Kill Switch

Brilliant idea. That'll fix the underlying problem....

No... wait. It wont.

Now Space Station forced to DODGE flying Japanese junk

Crisp

Re: What they need

Ok then. Tiny little satellite. With massive wings of aerogel like they used on that probe to gather comet bits.

The aerogel would mop up any small flecks of debris, then the satellite can be deorbited safely.

Crisp

What they need

Is a satellite with a huge fricking magnet on it.

The satellite would orbit the earth and gradually get bigger and bigger until we can drop it down to earth somewhere uninhabited and reclaim all that gold and platinum.

'Leaked' doc shock: BT denies inflating prices for rural broadband rollout

Crisp

Oh good, so they denied it!

That's pretty much a cast iron guarantee that inflating prices is exactly what they were doing.

I still haven't forgiven BT for stalling local loop unbundling.

Rapper rips up Microsoft's Atlanta store during performance

Crisp
Trollface

You can't sing, you can't play, and you look awful.

You'll go a long way!

Formlabs preps first home stereolithic 3D printer

Crisp

Re: New Opportunity for Office Theft

Theoretically you could scan in and reproduce any body part that would fit in the printer.

Or you could scale it down to fit.

Crisp
Go

Nice to see this technology gradually improving.

It's got a while to go before I can print out a new exhaust for my car though.

Pirate Bay site sinks, Swedish police raid its ISP

Crisp
Pirate

purloined files - other providers

There are other providers of torrents? Why! That makes the UK ban on the Pirate Bay almost completely ineffectual!

Climate change threatens to SHRINK FISH AND CHIP SUPPERS

Crisp

Re: smaller portions for years

Maybe they had smaller plates when you were younger.

Nominet mulls killing off the .co from .co.uk

Crisp

It's difficult not to see this as a money making excersise.

It seems like money for nothing. What is the actual tangable benefit here?

Draft UK libel law forces websites to axe mudslinging comments

Crisp
FAIL

What a stupid law!

Yet more legislation from people that don't actually know how the internet works.

What are they going to do about the Wayback Machine? Ask that they not keep a historical archive?

Space Station ready to SWERVE sat junk hurtling towards it

Crisp

Re: providing enough thrust with laser to ... knock it off course

Spinning junk would be a problem.

Crisp

Re: What ever happened to the "Right Stuff"?

Actually, I believe that ablating part of a chunk of debris with a laser would impart some delta-v to the chunk in question. Vaporising or blowing up a chunk of debris would be an unfeasible solution. But providing enough thrust with laser to either knock it out of orbit, or knock it off course enough to miss the station is entirely doable. You use the laser to provide power, and the debris itself is it's own reaction mass.

I think that there are rocket engines based on the idea of firing a powerful laser from a distance to ablate material from the back of a space ship in order to provide it with thrust.

Crisp
Terminator

Re: What ever happened to the "Right Stuff"?

I contend that the only way to effectively deal with space debris is with a giant frickin laser.

That way, the first bit of space debris to cross the ISS path could be blasted to smithereens and made an example of to others.

I would also accept a swarm of micro satellites as a solution for the job.

McFlurry McMisdemeanour costs Welsh lass McJob

Crisp

How do McDonalds ever manage to make a profit!

I'm sure that Ms Finch never intended for the owners of the franchise to go hungry.

Mighty quake shook ENTIRE PLANET, broke tectonic plate

Crisp
Coffee/keyboard

Re: Vulcanism

That comment is going to cost you a small fortune in keyboards.

Crisp
Mushroom

Re: Doomed!

Yeah, it's the apocalypse all right.

Blazing new comet may OUTSHINE THE MOON in 2013

Crisp

Those crazy Astroboffins!

What will they discover next?

Hobbyist star-gazer cops amazing eyeful of Jupiter's space ball

Crisp

Clever little bastard

Anyone can use a computer. But it takes a little dash of genius to come up with something like that.

Aga-saga doyenne ponders how to put ebooks in public libraries

Crisp

E-Lending?

What's the issue? The content is all digital so it should be very easy to provide a copy of a given book to anyone that wants to borrow one.

Philippines pinches nose, averts eyes, bans cybersex

Crisp
Trollface

Why are they picking on the trolls?

What did they ever do to you?

Einstein's brain FOUND ON APPLE iPAD

Crisp
Terminator

Einsteins Greatest Mistake

Not transferring his brain into a killer robot when he had the chance.

Mmmm, delicious new sugar batteries keep gadgets up all night

Crisp
Coat

Sugar, do do do do do do

Ah, honey honey

iPhone 5 Lightning cables sticking in USB ports

Crisp

Re: This happens every time.

They are replacing the faulty item with another faulty item.

There's your contempt.

Crisp

Re: alas not

It's not protectionism! It's Innovation!

Crisp

This happens every time.

They show nothing but utter contempt for their customers when they refuse to make any kind of comment on issues like this.

Crisp
FAIL

That's a rather serious design flaw.

Maybe they should have gone with a standard cable for their new product rather than "innovating" a new patented design.

Hitachi claims glass data storage will last millions of years

Crisp
Coat

Re: I remember when...

You had chisels! I used to dream of chisels.

Back in my day we used to code by hitting rocks with other rocks. And we were *grateful*!

Christian footie match ends in almighty brawl

Crisp

If God had a problem with it,

Then He would have hurled a few lightning bolts onto the pitch.

Made for each other: liquid nitrogen and 1,500 ping-pong balls

Crisp
Boffin

Fuck I love Science!

See Title :D

Ig Nobels 2012: Physics of ponytails, chimp arse-cognition and more

Crisp
Coffee/keyboard

Medicine Prize

I wouldn't have thought that the chances of patients exploding were that high during colonoscopies.

Now a colonic irrigation, I can see that having explosive consequences.

Hapless Kate topless, toothless law useless

Crisp

Re: Star Wars holiday special

Not only is it a Swedish site, but access to it has been completely blocked by UK ISPs.

Google 'dominance abuse' games may yet mean monster Euro smack

Crisp
FAIL

There are plenty of other search engines out there.

Google is not the portal to the entire internet!

Climate sceptic? You're probably a 'Birther', don't vaccinate your kids

Crisp

Climate Skeptics

They are probably the ones that move my tools when I can't find them, and responsible for moving my coffee table in the dark to that I bang my shins on it.

From the tone of the article I reckon that Professor Stephan Lewandowsky believes that climate skeptics kick puppies and make potholes too.

China plots 2017 mission to plan MOON COLONY

Crisp
Coat

Re: Moon riches

And moon sapphires. Don't forget about those!

Crisp

Re: But think about...

It's not the clangers you have to worry about.

It's that enormous Soup Dragon!

Google acts against prostitution app after complaints from Congress

Crisp

That app sounded like a really good idea!

I really can't see any good reason why anyone would want to ban it.

Who queues for an iPhone 5? Protesters, hipsters and the jobless

Crisp
Trollface

I've half a mind to show up at 8am on Friday, 21 September

And then cut in line!