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* Posts by Crisp

2852 publicly visible posts • joined 16 Jan 2012

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Apple 'insider' explains why vid adapter hides ARM computer

Crisp
Boffin

I wonder if you can hack the cable...

Maybe get that little ARM chip to do something useful.

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SpaceX Dragon eventually snared by ISS

Crisp
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Re: It's never embarrassing to fix a problem.

We all make mistakes. It's embarrassing not to learn from them. There's nothing embarrassing about fixing them.

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Chinese Army: US hacks us so much, I'm amazed you can read this

Crisp
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Coat

Re: Security isn't a dirty word

Darling: So you see, Blackadder, Field Marshal Haig is most anxious to eliminate all these German spies.

Melchett: Filthy Hun weasels fighting their dirty underhand war!

Darling: And, fortunately, one of *our* spies--

Melchett: Splendid fellows, brave heroes, risking life and limb for Blighty!

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Cambridge boffins reveal prehistoric prawn monster

Crisp
Coat

Have they named it yet?

Why not Zoidberg?

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Mind-melded rats could herald organic BRAIN-COMPUTERS

Crisp
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Yeah, you're going to need to replace all that with Rat 5.

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Crisp
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Re: ""Rats don't have a sense of self"

Are they sure that rats don't have a sense of self?

My rats apparently seem to have a sense of self. Which I can demonstrate with two rats, a mirror and a banana chip.

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Big Blighty telcos ordered to block three BitTorrent search sites

Crisp

Blighty telcos ordered to play whack-a-mole again.

This should solve the problem once and for all.

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First, servers were deep-fried... now, engineers bring you wet ones

Crisp

Interesting Article

But what does it taste like?

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Strategic SIEGE ROBOTS defeated by 'heavily intoxicated' man, 62

Crisp

"Dangerous Ordnance"

As if there is any other kind!

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Microsoft finally ships Internet Explorer 10 for Windows 7

Crisp
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Re: Everything is now Square.

Of course everything is now square. It's the only geometric shape that's still in the public domain.

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Crisp

Compatibility Support Calls in 3... 2... 1...

I'm so glad I don't work on a helldesk any more.

I really feel for those of you that do though.

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Yet more world+dog patent suits, this time over encryption

Crisp

This is why we can't have nice things.

I can't believe that Maz Technologies filed those patents with a straight face.

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Welcome to our Wi-Fi: Devicescape reinvents landing page

Crisp
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Re: I wonder if that is legal?

Clicking isn't signing a contract.

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DHS bigwig 'adamantly opposed' to degree fetishism

Crisp
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Re: Which country is the degree from?

Actually, yes I would. The Chinese have done a sterling job of cracking american systems.

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Boffin shows pics of germs grown on SPOTTY STUDENTS' MOBES

Crisp
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Re: This article reads remarkably like...

I've never understood why I should be worried about the bacteria in my toilet bowl.

I don't eat from it, wash in it, or drink the water from it.

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Ancient lost continent discovered lounging on Mauritian beach

Crisp

The boffins did not say whether the lost continent was that of Atlantis, Mu or Lemuria.

Because that would have been very silly.

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Quantum computer one step closer after ‘true’ quantum calculation

Crisp
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Or is there?

Maybe.

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PunkSPIDER project founder defends 'Google for web app vulns'

Crisp
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Re: They have to pay developers

Paying developers to do work?

Let's hope this catches on!

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Drone quadracopters throw and catch inverted pendulum

Crisp
Terminator

Do these drones remind anyone of a T-1 Aerial?

Surely it can't just be me.

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Apple files 'iWatch' patent application

Crisp
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Re: This is worth a patent?

No.

It's just a flexible display glued to a bistable spring. It's hardly innovative. It's almost the definition of "obvious".

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Perfect sex minx calculated from 'deep' probe of X-rated flicks

Crisp

No Stoya in that mix up?

They missed a trick there.

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Quit the 2D internet, flee your cave, and GET LAID, barks rock star

Crisp
Coat

Why Don't You Just Switch Off Your PC and Go and Do Something Less Boring Instead?

Fly a kite.

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Tennessee bloke quits job over satanic wage slip

Crisp
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Re: Good riddance?

You'd be in breach of the Equality Act of 2006.

Don't downvote me. I don't make the rules.

1 1

Bioshock Infinite, Devil May Cry, SimCity

Crisp

These aren't new games.

They are remakes of old ones that I already own.

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Huge rock-hard marble erection shocks Japanese kiddies

Crisp
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Coat

Re: It's just a penis.

If anybody needs me, I'll be in my bunk appreciating controversial works of art!

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Crisp

It's just a penis.

Half the population has one.

The human body is a beautiful thing. Why not celebrate the masculine form?

13 1

Why you need a home lab to keep your job

Crisp
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Re: Where do you get all the software from?

Either open source, or I download developer editions of software from my MSDN account.

BTW, I do actually have a home lab, but that's for my personal use. Not my employers.

Because it's currently geared up to construct an army of robotic super soldiers.

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Crisp

I don't work for free.

And learning new skills to benefit the company that employs me *is* work.

So I'll be doing my training during work hours thankyouverymuch.

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Earth-like planets abound in red dwarf systems

Crisp

We need to work on ways of getting there

Preferably within my lifetime.

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UK web snoop charter: Just how much extra info do spooks need?

Crisp

Who wants to sign my public key?

It's ok, it's just for verifying that messages are actually from me.

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Boffins find 17,425,170-digit prime number

Crisp
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Re: Why are we paying for this research?

To discover more huge prime numbers to feed to the prime number eating monster that lives under Belgium.

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Kickstarter project says open source can blast Death Star costs

Crisp

Proof Positive

That if enough people want something to happen, we can make it happen!

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Fanbois rejoice: iPhone 5, iPad Mini finally jailbroken

Crisp
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Re: Running Android

Finally! Something useful I can do with my iPad!

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Twitter spends $70m to juice your tweets, tell biz what you want - report

Crisp

In Capitalist America

Product owns you!

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Bug-hunters: They're coming outta the goddamn walls, aargh!

Crisp
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Coat

It's game over man!

Game over!

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Kids as young as FIVE need lessons in online safety - NSPCC

Crisp

70 per cent more boys had called in about seeing porn online

Were they complaining or boasting?

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US diplomat: If EU allows 'right to be forgotten' ... it might spark TRADE WAR

Crisp

The USA is sabre rattling again

Europe should not give in to the threats of rogue states.

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Japan hides anti-piracy warning on P2P networks

Crisp
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Re: "which is known to be available for sale"

That's the kind of little loophole that would have made Game of Thrones legal to download.

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BANG and the server's gone: Man gets 8 months for destroying work computers

Crisp
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Re: If he really wanted to cause damage...

Which is why you don't allow a programmer anywhere within flame thrower distance of a live server.

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We're not making this up: Apple trademarks the SHOP

Crisp
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Go

Re: It's over between us

If you only upvote one post today. Make sure that it's the one above the one above this one.

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Symantec: Don't blame us for New York Times hack

Crisp

Most businesses only spend money on IT professionals when it matters.

And when their security gets breached, they usually find out that it mattered 12 months ago and all they can do now is call in a clean up crew.

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Microsoft: Old Internet Explorer is terrible and 'we want to help'

Crisp
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Congratulations Greg!

You've fixed bugs for a site viewed in a browser that's 12 years old!

If people will insist on using ancient hardware and software to access the internet then I've got no bloody sympathy for them.

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Crisp
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Are you still laying out your websites with tables?

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Crisp

Here's an idea Microsoft.

How about actually implementing the HTML 5 spec? Other browsers seem to have no trouble with it.

I'm sick and tired of having to look up every sodding tag to find out if it's supported in IE or not.

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ESA proposes 3D printing on the moon

Crisp
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Re: I can see the flaw in the design.

There's probably another hole around the other side where they pump more air in.

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Customer service rep fired for writing game that mocks callers

Crisp

Callcenters already mock callers.

"We apologise for the long delay."

"Your call is very important to us."

"We're going to stop the on-hold music, so that you think we're going to answer, but all we're really going to do is subject you to another automated message."

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Microsoft builds observatory to spy on Earthlings' spectrum

Crisp

There's a reason some of those spaces are white.

And a reason I don't want devices sitting in the 1420.40575177 MHz band.

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Big biz, expensive beancounters write UK tax law, says senior MP

Crisp

Hello Foxes!

We'd like to consult you on the best way to look after these chickens...

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Iran develops working ICBM: Intercontinental Ballistic Monkey

Crisp
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Re: Never mind the nuke angle, there are more important questions:

Argonauts?

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Helium: Can it prevent the onset of Shingles?

Crisp
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Boffin

Re: Helium supply

We make more by fusing deuterium.

Thus solving the problem once and for all.

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