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* Posts by Crisp

2852 publicly visible posts • joined 16 Jan 2012

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Smut-for-Glass app suffers premature ejection

Crisp
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Re: a weekend with a porn star and a weekend with David Cameron

What's David Cameron going to be wearing?

(You can thank yourself for that disgusting mental picture you're now viewing.)

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Quantum boffins send data ACROSS TIME AND SPACE

Crisp
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Re: How do you know the characteristics are not set?

Because hidden variable theories make predictions that aren't observed in experiments.

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Motorola shows off tattoo and swallowable password hardware

Crisp

Motorola may not have anticipated the reaction of biblical literalists

Or maybe they did anticipate them, and thought, "We don't really care what a load of batshit crazy bible thumpers think", and then got on with the rest of their day.

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Ex-Microsoft man plans brand of consumer marijuana 'fine cigars'

Crisp
IT Angle

Has anyone stopped to think of the consequences of this to the IT industry?

We're going to have bleary eyed developers wandering around looking for coffee and snack food. They'll sit about all day at their desks producing quirky random code...

Hang on, are we sure that developers aren't on pot already?

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Fear the Embarrassing Bodies webcam

Crisp

Penis Expert Business Cards

If you rub them they turn into a postcard!

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BOFH: Go on, beancounter, type DROP TABLE asset;

Crisp

Polishing the fingernail scratches off the window frame

You've got to take care of the evidence.

Or at least make sure that it points in someone else's direction :)

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UN report says killer bots could fight WAR WITHOUT END

Crisp
Terminator

Please put down your weapon. You have 20 seconds to comply.

I think you'd better do what he says.

"You now have 15 seconds to comply."

Uh-oh...

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NASA: Trip to Mars would exceed 'fatal cancer' radiation risk

Crisp
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Re: NASA wont

And probably starting up a ranch of buggalo before we've even got boots on the ground!

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Fancy some mobile filth? New logo tells you when not to bother

Crisp
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Re: As a nation (UK) sex has always been a taboo

Since when?

I remember seeing more tits in Carry On movies from the 60's than anything else I ever saw on TV.

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Crisp
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So we're decided then

The way to stop kids from accessing porn is to burn down all the hedges.

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Crisp
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Never in human history have horny little teenagers... etc

No more so than the rest of the population that enjoys porn. If you think that a horny 15 year old doesn't have access to the same material, then you've severely underestimated the biological imperative to seek out sex that appears to exist in all young boys.

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Crisp

Too much time and money invested in worrying about the digital boogeyman

And not enough time spent by parents keeping an eye on their kids.

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Kettle 'which looks like HITLER' brews up sturm in a teacup

Crisp
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Re: For every nutter in the UK you get 5 in the US

Yes, but our nutters are British!

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Stand by for PURPLE KETCHUP as boffins breed SUPER TOMATOES

Crisp
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Re: Now what is the result if they are just fed ordinary tomatoes.

Are you insinuating that they didn't use a control group?

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Crisp
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Re: We should not meddle in things only barely understood...

If I followed that maxim then I'd never get anything done!

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Russians draw liquid blood from frozen woolly mammoth

Crisp

Didn't I say the glacier algae would be the first wave?

Maybe when the next zombie apocalypse happens, you'll listen to me sooner!

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Oi, butterfingers! Drop your mobe in a pint? Hope it's not an iPhone

Crisp

I've seen a ruggedised mobile phone used to hammer a nail into a wall.

You can get nigh on indestructible phones, but they are bloody expensive.

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Moss reanimates after 400 years in DEEP FREEZE

Crisp

The Zombie Apocalypse Begins.

I predict that these are the first wave of scouts for a larger zombie army.

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Bill Gates: Corporate tax is not a moral issue

Crisp

Corporate tax is not a moral issue

Oh it so is! Just because it's a corporation and not a person doing it, doesn't absolve the corporation (and the people that make up that corporation) of their moral duty.

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Daft tweet by Speaker Bercow's loquacious wife DID libel lord

Crisp
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Re: Could she be riding on the coat tails

Well she's got no achievements or skills of her own.

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Open wide, Google: Here comes an advertising antitrust probe

Crisp

Close your mouth Google.

It's going in the other end.

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Paul Allen buys lovingly restored vintage V-2 Nazi ballistic missile

Crisp

That is an obscene amount of money to spend on a toy

Feed starving children like Bill Gates? No, it's a V2 rocket for me!

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China’s state-run rags brand Mars One mission a scam

Crisp

We get to watch people die on mars on live TV?

I can't see how this could possibly go wrong.

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The BOFH is BACK: And it's cloudy with a 90% chance of beatings

Crisp

Sometimes there's just no substitute for percussive teaching methods.

I swear by them!

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Google to double encryption key lengths for SSL certs by year's end

Crisp
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Re: Pah

That's going to be one big keyring.

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Happy 23rd birthday, Windows 3.0

Crisp

Real mode could run on anything up to a 286.

Really! Really?

Have you actually tried running Windows 3.0 on an 8MHz 8086?

I have, and I can personally tell you that it's no laughing matter.

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Ed Miliband brands Google's UK tax avoidance 'WRONG'

Crisp

This is news?

Someone ought to tell Miliband that he missed that bandwagon.

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Irish deputy PM: You want more tax from Apple? Your problem, not ours

Crisp
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Re: The value of "IP"

9.53562951413 Surely?

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German robots sent to Oz to make GPS millimetre-perfect

Crisp
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Re: Impressive.

It's a german robot. It's not afraid of a little weather.

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They WANT to EAT YOUR COMPUTER - welcome your ANT overlords

Crisp
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Re: My manager has an ant colony in her monitor.

Awesome! How much do you have to pay for one of those?

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Gay marriage? We'll put a stop to that 'human bug', says Nintendo

Crisp

Love is not a malfunction!

Why can't they leave software in loving, respectful relationships alone?

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Murdoch Facebook gloat: You're like my $580m, 'CRAPPY' MySpace

Crisp
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Re: Never accuse Murdoch

How has that guy escaped jail for so long?

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Google research chief: 'Emergent artificial intelligence? Hogwash!'

Crisp
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Re: What happens when Humans no longer have to do anything?

You'll be used as a cheap source of fuel for those of us that have to maintain humanities metal overlords.

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Crisp
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Re: So how did intelligence emerge in humans?

I believe that one of the prevailing theories at the moment is that our intelligence was a consequence of our ability to throw rocks at targets with a great deal of accuracy.

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Half of youngsters would swap PRIVACY for... cheaper insurance

Crisp
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Re: driving exceeding certain criteria

Won't this foster a behaviour to game the system rather than drive safely? If braking harshly is going to up my insurance premiums, I may chose another evasive maneuver that may not be as effective.

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Crisp

How does being tracked translate to cheaper car insurance?

It doesn't seem logical.

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Microsoft conceals job ad in Bing homepage

Crisp

That's knowing your audience.

And some cheap targeted job advertising.

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Congress asks Google to explain Glass privacy policies

Crisp
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Re: What type of information it can reveal about another person?

Presumably that would be any information that the person in question had made public.

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Copyright minister admits: Google has better access to No. 10 than me

Crisp

Google bribes government officials

And the police do nothing about it. This isn't even the thin end of the wedge. Big companies do this all the time.

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Oi, Google! Stop LIBELLING us Germans, fix your autocomplete

Crisp
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Re: Outraged!!!!

Then you shouldn't have turned off safe search then!

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Crisp

So just turn autocomplete off on google.de

The problem magically goes away then.

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My god, what's that STENCH belching from your iPhone?

Crisp
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Leather Goddesses of Phobos

Another game title that came with a scratch and sniff card :)

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Hemp used to make graphene-like supercapacitors

Crisp

Hemp bast is a waste product?

Then what exactly are they growing this hemp for?

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Currant Bun erects £2 paywall: Wraps digi-paper around free footie

Crisp
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Re: More importantly

There are boobs on the internet!?

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You want to put 3D gun designs on the web? You'll need a 2D printer

Crisp
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Re: international dissemination

So like the 56-bit/128-bit encryption issue from a few years back?

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Crisp
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Re: dangerous precedent

There are plenty of files that are illegal to possess.

But I agree that plans for a weapon are not a weapon. Plans require a certain amount of expertise and tools in order for someone to turn them into something that works.

Otherwise, I'm probably in a lot of trouble for owning the plans for a Deathstar like battle fortress. That's got to be a weapon of mass destruction in anybody's book.

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You thought only Google dodges UK taxes? So do all the Brit firms

Crisp
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Re: but let's be honest

Not only can I not afford it. But I'll never be able to afford it if my taxes have to keep subsidising big businesses that can more than afford to pay the tax they owe.

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Crisp

Shouldn't the UK Gov start upping it's game then?

It's not like the government has to ask companies very very nicely for their taxes. Why can they not do what they do with the rest of the populace and just take the money?

The companies that pay too much tax can always claim it back later.

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Brits' phone tracking, web history touted to cops: The TRUTH

Crisp
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Re: If

It's not your data though is it? It's theirs. But I get your point. They are making money indirectly from you paying for a service. Rather than make you pay through the nose for the service, they could be using this money to lower your bill.

Maybe you'll see a lower bill in future as EE now has alternate revenue streams.

(Yeah, I had trouble keeping a straight face when I was typing that)

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Drone to deliver beer-as-a-service

Crisp
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Re: As a guy who once was paid good money to jump out of perfectly good airplanes ...

Surely a truly smart can would open and pour itself too?

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