Posts by Crisp

It's all fun and games until...

Some twat fires up a megawatt CO2 laser.

With all the managers at the NHS now

There is really no excuse for them not maintaining their IT systems.

Tinfoil hats proven useless

But they still block thought probes right?

When I said that I wanted to see more women in IT...

A clueless idiot like Lottie Dexter was not what I had in mind.

Why are they still piloting these things with meat brains?

Stick an autopilot and an aimbot in there and there you have it. Totally autonomous killing machines.

So El Reg...

Is this site going to be investigated by Curiosity? How far away is this crater from our little atomic powered friend?

Early Access

Otherwise known as: Buy our half finished game for full price now!

Don't Starve implemented this well, with frequent updates and a game that looks sort of finished now.

Kerbal Space Program.... I'm still waiting on biomes past Minimus, not to mention kerbalnaut training, and for them to finish off career mode.

I don't think I'll let myself get burned like that again.

Second-hand software buyers

"Second-hand software buyers are rarely in a position to tell whether or not the transaction is legitimate"

Surely that's the fault of microsoft, not the second hand software buyer?

Nobody knows where this quantum computer is

But we do know exactly how fast it is going.

Brobdingnagian

It's the opposite of lilliputian.

I can quite see this happening...

iThing: What's wrong?

User: Well if you don't know then I'm not telling you!

Looks like a weather balloon to me

See title.

A quick trip to the search engine and....

Turns out that 1D is already a thing.

Am I the only one that was disappointed that there was no maths?

See Title.

It's a well-made American vehicle.

There's a first!

"We have a strict set of policies which govern what types of ads appear on Google."

Their main policy is "Do we have their money yet?"

Margaret Hodge says that like it's a bad thing

Do we really want multinational companies taking advantage of our infrastructure without contributing to its upkeep?

It was a gift from Tim Berners Lee

Although, I could see how you could confuse him with a god.

So these guys are getting done for laundering $2 million...

Yet HSBC launder $881 million and get let off with no criminal charges.

They obviously didn't launder enough!

Virgin Media has been walloped by Britain's advertising watchdog!

Awesome! Finally the ASA has taken a firm hand with blatant lies in advertising!

"Virgin Media was told that the ad must not appear again in its current form."

Oh :( That was a bit of a let down.

Meanwhile: Real terrorists proceed unmolested.

The american stazi have got an awful lot of free time on their hands if they can waste resources like this.

Get over here and give me some sugar!

My batteries are running low.

The filter is working exactly as predicted.

Why is anyone surprised? The vast majority of savvy El Reg readers said it would do this, and lo it has come to pass!

Nice to see ThrustVPS setting a good example.

I'd like to see more companies displaying that kind of honesty.

You want me to do what?

Ok Glass, look up the wikihow article for that...

Oh that is all kinds of wrong!

Smack bang right in the middle of the uncanny valley.