* Posts by handleoclast

1287 publicly visible posts • joined 6 Jan 2012

Iranian duo charged with hacking US missile simulation software biz

handleoclast

Think relay

@JaitcH

I didn't think "relay." I thought "Krytron."

The knowledge is out there. There are even several youtube videos about them. So there was no need to be coy about the name.

China's censorship cyber-missiles shoot down pics flying through WhatsApp, chat apps

handleoclast
Big Brother

Re: image degradation

Nice idea. Very nice. But...

Degrade images to get past hash matching. Fairly obvious, but with an app that changes bits randomly each time the image is sent/forwarded, it would evade hash matching. Google, however, has fairly intelligent image classifying algorithms, and China has a large search engine company which could well be heavily influenced by the gov't (if not now then certainly if hash evasion becomes common) and which probably has its own image classifying stuff.

As for the meta-staganographic idea of using image degradation to flag impending events, that would make the image very noisy and be fairly easily detectable. It would also mean that pictures of snowstorms, etc., would get blocked.

A snowstorm canary would work, though. Send pretty pictures of snowstorms regularly, so that when degraded images are used to signal impending events blocking noisy images shows the canary has been killed.

UK government's war on e-cigs is over

handleoclast
Coat

Re: No vaping in the workplace please

Can somebody pay a visit to bombastic bob's home and check his garden for suspicious pods?

That's four or five posts of his I've seen in this thread where he's been entirely reasonable, rational, well-informed and sane.

He has surely become a pod person.

Or maybe he already was a pod person but the real bob just managed to kill the alien.

handleoclast

Re: No vaping in the workplace please

Because maybe the majority of the "Smoke" from an e-cig is water vapor?

No it is not.

The "smoke" from an e-cig is vegetable glycerine or propylene glycol. Usually it's a mix of the two, though the proportions vary from manufacturer to manufacture and product to product from the same manufacturer. Not because of crappy quality control but because of different recipes with different characteristics.

There is no more water vapour in exhaled e-cig smoke than in the breath you exhale. We all exhale water vapour. Vapers do not exhale more water vapour than non-vapers.

handleoclast

That's because you don't have asthma.

@AC

I do. And I'm happily sucking on a vape right now.

handleoclast
Happy

Re: Jesus, NO!

@William 3

For a moment, there, I thought you were talking about me. Then I remembered I don't wear after-shave (crappy or non-crappy).

The curious case of a Tesla smash, Autopilot blamed, and the driver's next-day U-turn

handleoclast

Re: Hmm

if it does not feel torque on the steering wheel, if this is ignored, the car will disable autpilot and slow down to 0mph.

That's scary.

I'd want it to keep the autopilot engaged in the process of slowing the car down to 0mph. Just turning the autopilot off at the same time as it kills power to the motors isn't my idea of good design.

Or maybe it's just badly-written blurb on the website...

Thanks for U-turning on biz-killing ban, Ofcom – now cough up, say GSM gateway bods

handleoclast
Boffin

Re: 999

Yeah, same data presented to the control room. However, there are advantages to using 112 on mobile.

The GSM standard specifies that mobiles will allow you to dial 112 even when the screen is locked. The GSM standard specifies that 112 will connect you to any available network if your MNO is down.

The GSM standard specifies that 112 will connect you to any available network even if you do not have a SIM in the phone. The GSM standard specifies that 112 will get you through to the emergency services, possibly via some sort of indirection like the ordinary operator. That's anywhere in the world. Not just the UK. Not just the EU. Anywhere you can use your mobile, 112 is a guaranteed-to-work emergency number.

Some countries, such as the UK, no longer fully comply with the GSM standard. After too many prank calls made with SIMless phones, 112 will now connect you to the network but if your phone doesn't have a SIM then the call doesn't get routed.

Despite that, 112 is the number to use on your mobile if you're a globetrotter. No more "I'm in Liberia today, what's the emergency number?" it's 112 on a mobile. Provided you have a signal, of course.

NASA whistles up electron noise from the Van Allen belt

handleoclast

Erm

I first read about whistlers in the mid 60s. Never actually heard them before, but I've long imagined how they'd sound (aided somewhat by the description I read in the 60s).

Maybe it's just me, but the first one sounds exactly how I imagined whistlers would sound, despite it being labelled "Chorus." And the second one sounds like a chorus, despite it being labelled "Whistler Waves."

Obviously I'm suffering from alcohol deficiency, which is known to cause scary hallucinations (like Donald Trump being president).

handleoclast
Coat

Does that make the Van Allen belt

Whistler's mother?

Dow Jones index – of customers, not prices – leaks from AWS repo

handleoclast
Meh

Every time it rains,

It rains, data from Amazon.

Jesus walks away after 7,000lb pipe van incident

handleoclast

Able to walk away

Yes, but with the penguin-like gait of one who has suddenly, explosively shat himself.

UK.gov snaps on rubber gloves, prepares for mandatory porn checks

handleoclast

Re: Cambridge Analytica

You might be overly paranoid here.

This is the Daily Fail we're talking about. My guess is that it's just a sCUNThorpe filter.

A simple empirical ANALysis should prove if I'm right or wrong in my assumption that the bANAL Daily Fail has screwed up not only its reporting but also its IT.

handleoclast

Truly epic fail

How much stupidity can be gathered together before it forms a singularity?

How are they going to make this work with every porn website in the world? Especially when new ones pop up every day.

How are the porn sites going to verify age other than by enforcing a card transaction? Will it be a one-off? Per visit? Per day? Per image? Do they refund the transaction once identity has been verified so you can surf the teasers for free?

What prevents people setting up dubious porn sites in failed countries that just take the identification fee and provide no porn? What prevents those sites raping your bank acount and stealing your identity?

What the holy fuck is wrong with your ISP noticing that your bill has been paid by a means which proves your age, giving you a username and password and allowing that user to define whether porn should be permitted or not? Sure, you need a list of porn websites to make it work, but at least they don't have to be porn websites that have been validated as being operated by honest porn merchants who won't rip you off when you pay an identification fee.

Oh, wait, that last one is what we have now. That is obviously unacceptable. Because reasons.

Three Microsoft Outlook patches unpatched, users left to DIY

handleoclast
Coat

WSUS

@adam payne

WSUS is horrible, doesn't uninstall update very well and needs a massive redesign.

All of these problems were fixed two years ago in a massive redesign of WSUS and the update was pushed out. Unfortunately, existing WSUS is too broken to be able to install fixed WSUS, or even report that there is a problem trying to install it, or even list it as an update awaiting to be installed.

Which is about what you'd expect.

Linus Torvalds may have damned systemd with faint praise

handleoclast

Re: Last time

Last time Linus sounded a faint praise (of BitKeeper), git was born.

It is possible that Linus is one of those people who heaps insults and swearing upon those he thinks may be capable of improvement, whilst those who are beyond redemption are damned with faint praise.

I sure as hell hope so.

handleoclast

Re: Women Linux Lord ?

@h4rm0ny

I'm not sure any single person can be "a women".

These days, it's perfectly possible. It's all to do with allowing people to choose which gender pronoun they wish to be referred by, and stuff like that. So a transsexual might choose "he," "she," "ze" or even "they." No, I'm not making this up.

Anyway, even without all that, a single person with multiple personality disorder could (presumably) be "a women."

IETF moves meeting from USA to Canada to dodge Trump travel ban

handleoclast
Thumb Up

World Record

@bombastic bob

I've contacted the Guinness Book of World Records on your behalf. They're prepared to accept your post as an attempt to set a new record for the most downvotes on an El Reg commentard post in a single day.

You have until midnight tonight for the votes to count.

Best of luck!

Eggheads identify the last animal that will survive on Earth until the Sun dies

handleoclast

the planet has billions of years to play with before the sun goes night-night

Ummm, actually, no.

The sun will swell up into a red giant that will engulf the earth, wiping out the Keithigrades. Ummm, Water Richards. Whatever. Not so much the sun going night-night as going day-day.

A long time after that the sun will become a white dwarf. And a very long time after that the white dwarf will cool off to the point where it is no longer luminous in our visible spectrum. But that will be a really long time after the red giant killed off all the tardikeiths.

Kerberos bypass, login theft bug slain by Microsoft, Linux slingers

handleoclast
Coat

Re: Many eyes!

But all looking at pr0n...

So why is all the pr0n I look at rubbish?

This "many eyes" thing obviously doesn't work.

Trump tramples US Constitution by blocking Twitter critics – lawsuit

handleoclast

Re: @Handleoclast ... @handleoclast ... As I understand it

@Ian Michael Gumby

You have produced a concise summary of Twitter's legal position. It may or may not be correct but I don't really care either way.

What you have completely ignored is the US Constitution and case law surrounding it that apply to official presidential communications and the first amendment.

handleoclast

Re: @handleoclast ... As I understand it

@Ian Michael Gumby

The first amendment covers more than just freedom of speech. It also covers

the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Knight Institute's argument is, as I understand it, that Trump has made @RealDonaldTrump a place for official presidential statements (or so Spicey said), and that twitter is a public forum where people peaceably assemble. There they petition Trump for a redress of grievances. Admittedly, most of those grievances are the fact that Trump is president, but that's irrelevant.

Imagine what would happen if Trump decreed that news organizations could not publish anything he doesn't like about his official policy statements. Not even if it's true and not defamatory. That would be only a minor escalation of his Twitter policy.

That doesn't mean Knight is certain to win the case, just that your argument doesn't prove they're going to lose. If it goes to the Supremes then they probably will lose, but if so that's likely to be a political rather than a legal decision.

Your argument would apply to the White House web site. It's not a public forum. People have no right to reply in situ. Twitter is a public forum and Trump is using it to issue official policy statements. It's as if Trump suddenly decided to post official policy statements in these hallowed commentard pages and demanded that El Reg block anyone from replying to his posts if they said bad things about him.

As others have pointed out, Trump could avoid the legal problem entirely by making the account read-only. What they didn't point out is why he won't do that: he wants the adulation. He craves adulation. He's desperate for adulation. So he won't make the account read-only.

handleoclast
Headmaster

Re: Mmmm. Will hinge upon --

It is de facto not de jure.

There is no statute or precedent making @RealDonaldTrump an official communication channel, so it is not an official communications channel de jure. That would not prevent a court ruling that Trump using it as a official communications channel means that it may legally be regarded as such (which would mean the court recognises it as a de facto official communications channel).

Then again, IANAL, so I am probably loquitur ex meum asinus.

handleoclast

Re: As I understand it

@a_yank_lurker

You appear not to understand it very well. Or, at best, you are under-informed.

Here is a press briefing by Sean Spicer where he says that Trump "is the President of the United States, so they're considered official statements by the President of the United States."

So there you have the definitive, official answer on this. Until Trump decides to contradict what Spicey said. Which he probably will. And then the day after contradict himself.

Whether or not that then means Americans have a constitutional right to respond to those tweets is another matter. But they are (until Trump changes his mind) official statements by POTUS even if they come from @RealDonaldTrump.

Ready, aim... Ignition! Valley VC bigwig ejects after conduct complaints

handleoclast

Frank Artale?

Frank Artale? Really?

F. Artale?

Fart Ale?

Was he an unwanted child that his parents would give him such a name?

Then again, probably better liked by his parents than the SF author who insists on including his middle name, because "Orson Card" without the "Scott" in the middle is ridiculous, even if it does remind us of the original autonomous vehicles.

Dial S for SQLi: Now skiddies can order web attacks via text message

handleoclast
Headmaster

Anarchi scanner?

Oooh, that sounds really dangerous. A scanner created by bomb-throwing anarchists!!!

The URL the link points to, however, is for www.arachni-scanner.com, which has somewhat different, spiderish, connotations.

A thinko, perhaps?

Or maybe the scanner really is created by dangerous, bomb-throwing spiders.

Blighty's prosecutors slammed for failing to deliver savings on electronic tagging

handleoclast
Coat

This is outrageous

This is a total waste of public monies.

The perpetrators should be prosecuted for peculation.

As punishment, their movements should be restricted by means of an electronic tag.

Oh. That's not going to work, is it?

Ubuntu Linux now on Windows Store (for Insiders)

handleoclast

Re: full Inception

Randall got there before you with the XKCD development environment.

More amusing would be to run a Linux host on a Windows host and then somehow move the original Windows into a VM on the Linux host. My guess is the universe would implode.

handleoclast
Coat

Wine in reverse

Going from biblical authority, wine in reverse would be water.

And for my next miracle...

Trump backs off idea for joint US/Russian 'impenetrable Cyber Security unit'

handleoclast

Better criticisms

There are better criticisms of Trump than Rubio's. For example, this gem from Republican Senator Lindsey Graham:

...not the dumbest idea I've ever heard, but it's pretty close.

Or the one from the former US attorney Preet Bharara (fired by Trump in March):

When pursuing a corrupt politician, mobster or murderer on strong FBI evidence, if he "vehemently denied it," we just dropped it usually.

handleoclast

Re: bonobos

@Scroticus Canis

Linnaean classification has been abandoned as unfit for purpose. People tried to patch it up with sub-orders, infra-orders, super-genera and hacks like that but it became unworkable.

These days, biologists use cladistic taxonomy: organisms are categorized based on shared derived characteristics that can be traced to a group's most recent common ancestor and are not present in more distant ancestors.

We, and bonobos, are apes because our most recent common ancestor had the characteristics of an ape. We, and bonobos, are also monkeys because our most recent common ancestor with monkeys would have been classified as a monkey.

You recoil from that? But you have absolutely no problems with admitting that we're placental mammals (like cats, dogs, etc). Or that we're mammals (which includes the non-placental mammals like kangaroos and the duck-billed platypus). We're also vertebrates (which includes birds, reptiles, amphibians, mammals and fish). You'll probably also admit that we're animals (although you might need to be pushed into that one by first admitting that we're not plants or fungi).

Cladistic taxonomy has some interesting outcomes. Birds are classed as dinosaurs. Which is really cool. Mankind really did walk with dinosaurs, and still does. Just not the big ones the creationists would have you believe.

Cladistic taxonomy is not without problems. Technically we're also fish. We're derived from that branch of fish that moved onto land. In that sense, birds, amphibians, and reptiles are also fish. Biologists tend to avoid mentioning that, but it's how the system works. A clade starts at one point on the tree of life and encompasses all of its descendants. Those of us who aren't biologists tend to use "fish" in a non-cladistic way because it's more useful in everyday usage.

So, yes, bonobos are monkeys. Unlike most monkeys, they're also apes. As are we.

For more details, see This video by Aron Ra (contains language that some people might consider NSFW).

BOFH: That's right. Turn it off. Turn it on

handleoclast

Re: blockquote

Think Ars will ever add...

Nope. They never will.

Now Uber sued for textual harassment

handleoclast

Have things changed

or is it still the case in the US that you pay to receive an SMS not to send one? In which case I'd be after every penny Uber has.

While USA is distracted by its President's antics, China is busy breaking another fusion record

handleoclast

Re: Flat Earth

You're right, flat earthers are crazy. Even crazier than young earth creationists (although some are insane enough to be both).

The Flat Earth Society's most recent world model

This has been extensively, thoroughly and hilariously debunked by youtube user CoolHardLogic here.

His other videos are good, too.

handleoclast

Re: let me guess...

Whats wrong with Bombastics post?

My guess is that what those downvoters found wrong with Bob's post is that Bob wrote it. Nothing more than that. It is "argument from no authority" in its worst form.

Argument from authority and from no authority can sometimes be justified on Bayesian grounds: "X is an expert in the field and is usually right so when X says it [s]he's probably right." More often it is fallacious: "I think the sun shines out of Donald Trump's arse so when he says this he's absolutely right. Bigly."

I think most of those downvotes came from people who intensely disagree with Bob's ordinary posts (as do I) so they downvoted this particular post out of laziness (or even spite) instead of evaluating it for itself.

Looked like a reasonable argument to me, too. So I followed the link. It too, seemed reasonable. And Bob made the effort to restate it in his own words rather than regurgitate it verbatim, so he put some thought into it. It certainly didn't merit a downvote, in my opinion.

Microsoft offers cloud to Baidu, gets autonomous car in return

handleoclast
Coat

What could possibly go wrong?

Operating under the assumption that Microsoft will make the worst possible technical choices in order to ensure lock-in...

1) The cars will not operate autonomously but rely upon cloud services. Not just for navigation, routes, weather, traffic updates and the like but for real-time driving decisions.

2) Microsoft will "embrace and extend" the Highway Code such that Microsoft cars and other cars cannot interoperate on the same road.

3) The car will mysteriously stop working for no reason. The only fix will be to completely disassemble the car and reassemble it.

4) Once a day performance will deteriorate for an hour or two while the car defragments its tyres.

5) The user interface will be vile and unusable.

Any more?

UK Parliament launches inquiry into NHS WannaCrypt outbreak

handleoclast

Re: Close the attack vector

shirley the NHS email system could run sanitisation software so that all incoming emails are stripped of attachments and in-body links, and the body converted to text.

I'm sorry, Mr Woodnag, but the X-Ray Department is having problems sending me your CAT scan. They've tried a dozen times now, but the attachment doesn't show up.

Perhaps you could come back tomorrow.

Create a user called '0day', get bonus root privs – thanks, Systemd!

handleoclast

Nobody has yet suggested...

Or if they did suggest this, I missed it.

Running the unit as root because the username is invalid is fucking stupid. So what are the alternatives?

1) Refuse to boot. Also stupid.

2) Run the unit under a special username that doesn't have privileges or a shell login or just about anything. Some people may recall the special user on most distributions called "nobody".

3) Worry that this attack might find some way of exploiting user "nobody" so create an even more crippled, brain-dead user than "nobody".

I think option 3 is the best. I suggest the username for this be "poettering."

handleoclast

Re: "Brattitude"

I think Poettering is more of a twunt.

New work: Algorithms to give self-driving cars 'impulsive' human 'ethics'

handleoclast

Re: Masturbation is never useless.

@'s water music

If you're male, when you get old enough you find that your dangly bits rarely do more than dangle. In those circumstances masturbation is often useless.

One thought equivalent to less than a single proton in mass

handleoclast

Re: Apparently I'm at an advantage.

I'm looking at 125 lines of python that were committed on Thursday night and wondering what idiot thought this would have *any* value

I know that feeling well. Unlike you, it is then followed by the realization that I was that idiot.

handleoclast
Facepalm

Proposal for El Reg CMS Enhancement

Perhaps Vulture Central's IT specialists could implement El Reg goggles (similar to gmail goggles) which prevent drunken article writing.

It might reduce the number of articles where masses are specified in units of length and inequalities get reversed. It might even result in a coherent article (if you manage to implement laser goggles).

Samsung ploughing billions into boosting memory production

handleoclast

Re: Maintaining a balance

Ah yes, alcohol-erasable memory. Too many erasure cycles renders it unreliable.

Sailor Moon? More like sail to the Moon: Japan vows to set foot on lunar soil by 2030

handleoclast
Coat

It's obvious why they're going

Anime shows that some Japanese have a sexual preference that borders on paedophilia.

Alex Jones has just revealed that NASA has a colony of child sex slaves on Mars.

Of course the Japanese are trying to advance their space technology to the point where they can get to Mars.

It all makes perfect sense.

Oh, and Vulture Central needs to add an icon of a tinfoil helmet, with title text "I'll get my tinfoil helmet." So you'll have to imagine there's a tinfoil helmet in the coat I'm reaching for.

Shock: NASA denies secret child sex slave cannibal colony on Mars

handleoclast
Coat

Re: Crazy as a shithouse rat

Nope, "crazy as a shithouse rat" doesn't cut it. It's totally inadequate to describe the situation.

Gotta be "Crazy as a shithouse rat in a lunatic asylum. On the Napoleon ward. Which is infested by squirrels. And bats. After somebody put LSD in the water supply. And Donald Trump came to visit."

FTFY

handleoclast
Coat

Fnord

Title doesn't say it all. Title doesn't say anything at all. Title is completely blank.

Privacy, consent laws under 'unprecedented strain'. We need a data-watcher watcher

handleoclast

Re: " an underlying fear among the public, "

@Doctor_Wibble

the information ends up being used for things well beyond the original scope

Three laws of abusable legislation:

1) If legislation can be abused then, sooner or later, it will be abused.

2) That abuse is more likely to occur sooner rather than later.

3) That abuse was probably intended when the legislation was first drafted.

Doesn't matter if it's tax evasion or misuse of slurped data, if the legislation is so poorly drafted that it can be abused then those three laws apply. We've seen it happen many times before, and we'll see it happen many times again.

So yes, the information they slurp will be abused.

Civil rights warriors get green light to challenge UK mass surveillance

handleoclast
Coat

Re: Problem for Banks

@AC

Prove please

Very hard to do. Because for a very long time the spooks have been planting evidence which shows that they don't plant evidence.

Five-eyes nations want comms providers to bust crypto for them

handleoclast

Re: Your 12 year window includes 7/7 and that resulted in 56 deaths on its own.

@John Smith 19

A very good analysis.

I will add two things for a little extra perspective.

1) The US may soon pass legislation that will result in 22,000,000 losing health care and cause in excess of 20,000 deaths per year sooner than would otherwise have occurred. This is in order to give $70 billion/year in tax cuts to the rich. Preventing death doesn't seem of great importance to these people, despite their claims of the necessity to defeat terrorism in order to prevent deaths.

2) If, in order to defeat your enemy, you have to adopt those behaviours that make him your enemy, then your enemy has won (whatever you do). We are moving towards a repressive, totalitarian regime in order to defeat people who wish to impose a repressive, totalitarian regime upon us. Dubya (now only the second worst president ever) said: "They hate us for our freedoms" then proceeded to stop them hating us by removing our freedoms whilst bombing the shit out of them.

I suspect it's going to get a lot worse before it gets better. If it ever does.

O Rly? O'Reilly exits direct book sales

handleoclast
Coat

Re: As long as they're still publishing dead tree books ...

@K

these days I use phablet which acts as book reader...

One use case you'll find the phablet inferior to dead trees is if you're in the bog and realize you've run out of toilet paper. In an emergency you can use pages torn from a book. A phablet would not work anywhere near as well.

This is where a Bible (or Kerrang!) finds a practical use. Always keep one in the toilet. They're printed on nice, thin paper that flushes easily.