* Posts by Bob Vistakin

1578 publicly visible posts • joined 24 Dec 2011

Hands on with Nokia's 808 41Mp camphone

Bob Vistakin
FAIL

Luck?

Ever though of what the situation would be today had Nokia not "partnered" with microsoft? We see now, 80% of the smartphone market is split between Android and Apple. Of the Android share, Samsung is the runaway success. Boy, are they glad Blamer stuffed his trojan in. Had Nokia gone with Android instead, its almost certain the current Samsung share would be split evenly between them - possibly even with Nokia edging it. All those weasley words about "not being able to differentate enough" hasn't harmed them a jot, and was clearly a straw man given the (then) talent at Nokia. Instead we see this rounding-error 1.5% market share, with 101 reasons anyone not forced to avoids it like the plague.

Motorola Mobility loses to Microsoft in German patent battle

Bob Vistakin
FAIL

Ericsson R380 - launched 2000

http://www.manualowl.com/m/Sony%20Ericsson/R380-WORLD/Manual/246442?page=99

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ericsson_R380

Blamer and his desperate losers better be sure no-one checks this kind of stuff out. Or does he think we're all as guillible as Nokia shareholders, letting them stick his puppet in as CEO?

Bob Vistakin
FAIL

Re: Really/ MS owns that?

"after a particularly satisfying bowel movement" - it doesn't say how WP7 is related, but I'm sure it uses this stunning innovation too.

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Microsoft *must* be on dangerous ground messing with the big boys when it comes to mobile

It just doesn't seem right. Surely Motorola (first mobile call 1973) being sued by Microsoft (formed 1976) must have mountains of real, innovative IP Blamer and his losers are similarly "violating"?

Top Facebook exec begs students: 'Click on an ad or two'

Bob Vistakin
FAIL

Do no evil

Google is a litte, ahem, different regarding this - and have a lot more experience. From support.google.com: "Publishers may not click their own ads or use any means to inflate impressions and/or clicks artificially, including manual methods.", and "Publishers may not ask others to click their ads or use deceptive implementation methods to obtain clicks. This includes, but is not limited to, offering compensation to users for viewing ads or performing searches, promising to raise money for third parties for such behavior or placing images next to individual ads."

Unions urge under-fire HP workers to 'resist' job cuts

Bob Vistakin
Devil

Clearly, Unites most senior rep should act

After all, that's what he's there for.

Yahoo! leaks! private! key! in! Axis! Chrome! debut!

Bob Vistakin
Happy

Yahoo! - the comedy gift that just keeps on giving :-)

I so hope they don't implode totally - their never ending antics are fantastic entertainment!

Ballmer says 500 MILLION 'users' to 'have' Windows 8 in 2013

Bob Vistakin
Pint

Re: Didn't there used to be a rule?

That rule still exists and must be strictly adhered to, along with the other one of avoiding odd-numbered releases.

Bob Vistakin
Holmes

Re: Why should he care?

Do not mock the Blamer, for his tech visionary insight is like no other.

Bob Vistakin
Happy

Why should he care?

He'll have long gone by then.

Chrome spends a week at the top of the browser charts

Bob Vistakin
FAIL

Re: Windows 8 will save Microsoft

Nah ... everyone knows the even numbers are duffers. You just wait for Win9 SP1. By then, all the beta testing the mugs who used Win8 will have been taken into account, and the even more gullible early adopter sheep who dived into Win9 at launch will have tested that for them too, as is the windows tradition.

Oracle juices homegrown Xen to match own-brand Linux

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

"its own variant of the Linux kernel"

Does Linus know these jerks are using his API, since they are currently arguing in court that all software API's are copyrighted?

'Dated and cheesy' Aero ripped from Windows 8

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Re: He better be looking

Along with the IE Team.

Windows Phone beats iOS sales in China

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Re: No tricks

Err ... it says 70 per cent (10 times more) want Android. I'd call that more than speaking - its voting with their feet. The part about no tricks, just quality is correct, but then I'm repeating myself.

The Register is rocking on Windows Phone 7

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Re: At last

Yes this is great news, and the announcement went down a storm at this years WP7 global user convention held in the phone box by the gents at Clapham Common south entrance. The fragrance from the adjoining building matched its user experience perfectly, and there was even talk of holding next years somewhere its user wouldn't be embarrassed to be seen with it in public.

A round of applause greeted the announcement of the name given to this great partnership too, coined elsewhere in this forum actually - "NoWin".

Yes, "Browsing El Reg on the NoWin Loser 800" is a worthy endeavour indeed.

Nokia Lumia 900 WinPho 7 smartphone

Bob Vistakin
Happy

Clippy Zunemetro says hi.

Bob Vistakin
FAIL

The perfect example of excellent hardware ruined by garbage software

"This screen is gorgeous: bright and colourful as you’d expect from an OLED screen – or Clear Black Display as Nokia calls it.".

A very important consideration when you waste a quarter of those precious pixels with a dead bar running down the home screen, making it look all unbalanced and amateur. Well, if these wasted pixels are to be black, of course you'd want them to be "Clear Black" on an OLED screen, wouldn't you?

New Apple keyboard patent may spell trouble for Android

Bob Vistakin
Happy

Re: prior art!

Lawyers - bookmark this thread, I suspect it will grow into a useful resource.

Here's the Sony Ericsson P800 from 2001: http://www.flickr.com/photos/takenbyhim/5154996194/ and the Ericsson R380 it was the sucessor to: http://www.gsmarena.com/ericsson_r380-195.php, both of which did exactly this OBVIOUS function for a soft keyboard.

Russian upstart claims BitTorrent-killer

Bob Vistakin
Happy

Re: Microsoft pulls off the impossible!

At least the press love him: http://goo.gl/e0jAT

Bob Vistakin
FAIL

Re: Microsoft pulls off the impossible!

You're right, he's not just a pretty face, he's a fantastic visionary too: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eywi0h_Y5_U

Bob Vistakin
Coat

Re: Microsoft pulls off the impossible!

Apology? Here you go: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8zEQhhaJsU4

Bob Vistakin
FAIL

Microsoft pulls off the impossible!

They've actually found a way to sink lower. And who says innovation stopped when Blamer took over?

Apple drops '4G' label from new iPad

Bob Vistakin
Big Brother

I sense a weakness in the reality distortion field

Well, you did strike me down but it seems I didn't come back more powerful than you can possibly imagine.

Samsung sheds light on low-cost WinPho blower

Bob Vistakin
Holmes

Who said I've no interest in it? Just because there's more chance of Jeremy "Ruperts Bitch" Hunt being in a job this time next week than there is of me disgracing myself with this garbage, doesn't mean I can't enjoy the spectacle of the entire company trying to polish their turd.

Bob Vistakin
FAIL

Yes that's right. Because ms UI designers know as much about making every pixel count as azure ones do about leap years. Hey, I know what - on a phone, which has a small screen anyway, let's waste a quarter of it right there on the fucking home screen with a big black bar showing nowt. And, if we then find we have to cut all the titles off halfway because there's, err, no room to fit them on like proper phones we'll just call it our "innovation". Our marketing dept pays enough shills to counter any common-sense arguments against this in al the popular forums, and as we've shown throughout our history, marketing beats quality every time.

Well, it always has so far ...

Bob Vistakin
Pint

A useful way to show how great the S3 really is

Put one of these next to it. Well, that's a little unfair as the S3 is a smartphone, but in any case average punters unfamiliar with both will instantly treat this like the turd it is.

Facebook tests paid post promotion

Bob Vistakin
FAIL

This is a whole different kind of sadness...

...for which a word hasn't yet been invented.

Cameron's F-35 U-turn: BAE Systems still calls the shots at No 10

Bob Vistakin
Unhappy

So Cast Iron *can* U turn when he is told to

Unlike when he gave his Cast Iron guarantee of a European referendum, live, straight to the faces of the British people on TV before the election, then, when they'd fallen for it and he was safe and sound in no 10, decided not to. And won't U turn either, since that's not as important as what kind of planes to use of an aircraft carrier.

Cisco hits the roof in Olympics marketing dash

Bob Vistakin
FAIL

Re: The Londoners Olympics 2012

I forgot to add ... decided to be held in London by ... Londoners.

Bob Vistakin
FAIL

The Londoners Olympics 2012

By Londoners. For Londoners. Londoners keep the buildings. Londoners get the tickets first.

The rest of the UK's role is, as usual, to watch it on TV whilst paying for the fucking thing.

Apple's HTML5 bet against Android extermination

Bob Vistakin
Holmes

Re: True enough.

"The next couple of years are going to be interesting."

Yup - seeing ms with their unloved, unwanted and largely unknown kit, quite correctly reflected in their <1.5% market share, get anywhere against Androids loved, wanted and most definitely known > 61% will be interesting indeed.

Source: http://goo.gl/Ucjz2

Apple 'iTV' looks like Cinema Display, says Throat

Bob Vistakin
WTF?

Re: The lawyers are lining up as we speak

Oh its much, much better than that. Remember how they got the famous "round corner" injunction against Samsung for the S2 - right to the point where the S3 looks like its been designed by lawyers? : http://goo.gl/2Ujv3 Now, bear in mind how many years (decades?) Samsung have been selling large rectangular boxes for displaying moving pictures on, otherwise known as TV's. We're led to believe Apples legal nastiness was all back in the wicked old days of Steve Jobs, and there's a new brush now where its all sweetness and light and Mr Cook would much sooner sort things out amicably. I bet he fucking would - lets see them come up with a TV that doesn't have the same look and feel as the ones Samsung have been selling since back when Apples stock was worthless.

Let's all remember the phrase Apple used against Samsung: http://goo.gl/XuzwT "Apple, based in Cupertino, California, sued Samsung in the United States, alleging the product design, user interface and packaging of Samsung's Galaxy devices "slavishly copy" the iPhone and iPad". Oh how the company who copied the Beatles record labels name hates copying.

You never know, they might well come up with a design that doesn't have the look and feel of any of Samsungs models from the last 10 years. But I'm not holding my breath.

Apple logging passwords in plain text

Bob Vistakin
FAIL

Re: well

The subscription details to Gay Times might come in handy though.

Nokia dinged with shareholder lawsuit over poor Lumia sales

Bob Vistakin
FAIL

Re: Christ...

I think you'll find most actually like Nokia and feel sorry for them being raped and shred apart just when they needed help the most. The hatred for microsoft, however, hasn't gone nearly far enough. I suppose your shilling will all be AC now & you'll have to just cut n paste your astroturfing back to their marketing department from now on.

Bob Vistakin
Happy

Re: Hitting the Bing bong

Ahem - you implying Bob, Vista and Kin were something other than runaway successes for microsoft there buddy? ;-)

Bob Vistakin
Devil

Re: Nicely disguised astroturf.

"Explain in 50 words or less why you want Nokia to fail." Anyone beat 7? Here we go:

"They sold their soul to the devil."

Bob Vistakin
Devil

Re: reality is a b_tch

Warning - long post, and copied from Slashdot too, but definitely worth repeating:

Microsoft's new "strategic partnership" with Nokia is not its first. For a decade the software company has courted and consummated relationships with a variety of companies in mobile and telecom. Here are the ones I can remember:

LG. In February 2009 Microsoft Corp. signed a multiyear agreement for Windows Mobile to be included on devices from LG Electronics Inc. LG would use Windows Mobile as its "primary platform"for smartphones and produce about 50 models running the software.

What happened? LG made a few Windows Mobile devices but with WinMo uncompetitive, they abandoned the platform and moved to Android losing years of market presence and all their profits.

Motorola. In September 2003, Motorola and Microsoft announced an alliance. "Starting with the introduction of the new Motorola MPx200 mobile phone with Microsoft Windows Mobile software, the companies will collaborate on a series of Smartphone and Pocket PC wireless devices designed to create a virtual "remote control" for the Web-centric, work-centric, always-on-the-go mobile professional." In addition, the alliance includes cooperation on joint marketing and wireless developer programs.

What happened? Motorola launched a series of Windows Mobile phones culminating in the Motorola Q "Blackberry killer". As Motorola hit the rocks in profitability new management reached for the Android liferaft. The company now relies exclusively on the Droid franchise.

Palm. In September 2005 Palm and Microsoft announced a strategic alliance to "accelerate the Smartphone market segment with a new device for mobile professionals and businesses. Palm has licensed the Microsoft Windows Mobile operating system for an expanded line of Treo Smartphones, the first of which will be available on Verizon Wirelessâ(TM) national wireless broadband network."

What happened? Palm shipped a few Windows Mobile, famously dismissing Appleâ(TM)s potential entry as something "PC guys" could never achieve. A new CEO, a private placement and an acquisition later the company is a division of HP making its own operating system.

Nortel. When Steve Ballmer was famously laughing at the iPhone and saying that he likes the Windows Mobile strategy "a lot" he was sitting next to the then-CEO of Nortel (Mike Zafirovski formerly of Motorola) with whom the company had just closed a strategic deal. "an alliance between Microsoft and Nortel announced in July 2006 ⦠includes three new joint solutions to dramatically improve business communications by breaking down the barriers between voice, e-mail, instant messaging, multimedia conferencing and other forms of communication".

What happened? Nortel declared bankruptcy two years later.

Verizon. In January 2009 "Verizon Wireless has selected Microsoft Corp. to provide portal, local and Internet search as well as mobile advertising services to customers on its devices. The five-year agreement will go into effect in the first half of 2009 when Microsoft Live Search is targeted to be available on new Verizon Wireless feature phones and smartphones." The deal would ensure Bing distribution to all of Verizonâ(TM)s smartphone customers.

What happened? Bing did ship on some devices but in October 2009 Droid came to Verizon.

Ericsson. In September 2000, "Ericsson and Microsoft Corp. today launched Ericsson Microsoft Mobile Venture AB. This previously announced joint company will drive the mobile Internet by developing and marketing mobile e-mail solutions for operators. The first solutions are expected to be on the market by the end of the year. The company is part of a broader strategic alliance between Ericsson and Microsoft"

What happened? Ericsson divested itself of the mobile division forming a joint venture which would go on and make more strategic alliances with Microsoft over Windows Mobile culminating in a loss of profits and eventual flight to Android.

Sendo. In February 2001, Microsoft announced a partnership, in which Microsoft bought $12m of Sendo shares and a seat on the board. Sendo was to be Microsoft's "go to market partner" for the Stinger smartphone platform that would become Smartphone 2002.

What happened? Sendo after litigating IP issues with Microsoft went bankrupt in 2005.

And finally,

Nokia. No, not this OS deal, but in August 2009 âThe worldwide leader in software and the worldâ(TM)s largest smartphone manufacturer have entered into an alliance that is set to deliver a groundbreaking, enterprise-grade solution for mobile productivity. Today, Microsoft Business Division President Stephen Elop and Nokiaâ(TM)s Executive Vice President for Devices Kai Ã-istÃmà announced the agreement, outlining a shared vision for the future of mobile productivity. This is the first time that either company has embarked on an alliance of this scope and nature.â

The plan was to bring âoeMicrosoft Office Mobile and Microsoft business communications, collaboration and device management software to Nokiaâ(TM)s Symbian devices.â

What happened? One and a half years later the same Stephen Elop announced that Symbian will be deprecated.

Bob Vistakin
Devil

Re: reality is a b_tch

I think its too late to even make Android phones. Look what Sammy is doing to Sony/LG/HTC etc. Nokia is in tatters now. Even if the shareholders did wake up and banish the evil back to Redmond, they'd be in in a far weaker a position then any of those so what chance would they stand? No, if this lawsuit does trigger an investigation, they should look in detail who made what. A good start would be microsofts 8th largest individual shareholder at the time: http://goo.gl/Htrkc

Bob Vistakin
Joke

Re: If Android was Linux

"I have now settled on a Lumia 800 as my device of choice. It is by far the smartphone I have used."

Now *that's* what I call fucking humour! Genuinely hilarious - got any more?

Bob Vistakin
FAIL

Re: If Android was Linux

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvA8Hdmit-U

Bob Vistakin
Devil

Windows 9 and WP9 will make everything alright.

Hands on with the Samsung Galaxy S III

Bob Vistakin
Holmes

Pricing?

No word anywhere... Get that right and its game over for the rest. Blow it, and its "as you were lads".

Jolly rogered

Bob Vistakin
FAIL

If MP's had it all their way regarding censorship...

...we'd still be paying for their duck houses, moats and pr0n whilst listening to them telling us how hard they're making our taxes work for us.

That's the deal with censorship. You have to trust totally the ones doing the censoring to do the right thing. So, can anyone think of anything MP's collectively did in the last few years to affect the publics trust in them? Hint - read the first sentence again.

Samsung shows 'designed for humans' handset

Bob Vistakin
Happy

"Best smartphone in the world"

Yes, it actually is. So why didn't they just use that as the slogan? Never mind, count me in, that's if they can hear me above the din of photocopiers from Cupertino and crying from Redmond.

Britain prepares for government by iPad

Bob Vistakin
Holmes

Re: Free iPads for all

These are MP's. Your'e better off looking in public toilets, brothels, duck houses, moats and strip clubs.

Bob Vistakin
Devil

And of course their iTunes account is "wholly, necessarily and exclusively..."

... essential for their duties as an MP

It's fortunate Labours gift to the UK in the form of the first woman Home Secretary is no longer in the House of Corruption, but then again nanny doesn't allow pron in it's app store so that's alright then.