* Posts by Bob Vistakin

1578 publicly visible posts • joined 24 Dec 2011

Microsoft Surface: Join the Windows 8 teardown

Bob Vistakin
FAIL

Re: Lets hope Apples lawyers rip in as viciously as they did to Android

Heres the FAIL video microsoft tried to censor - catch it quick before they stop showing the same level of competence attempting that as the guy failing so badly in it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTrWPqS4Kxk

Bob Vistakin
Unhappy

Lets hope Apples lawyers rip in as viciously as they did to Android

It would be great to see these two at each others throats whilst the good guys just got on with it, but somehow I sense evil recognises itself and this won't happen. It won't matter now what the shape of its corners are nor the fact that like the iPad, its look and feel was ripped (oops. "innovated") from 2001 A SPACE ODYSSEY way back in 1969.

ASA: Rooney tweet was advert, not written expression of his thoughts

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Re: ONE!

Oh he's really dedicated all right. When you look down from above, you can see he has his hair shaped into the nike symbol, with one wispy bit in the middle and carefully shaved bald patches all round it. Oh, wait...

Bob Vistakin
FAIL

Nikes defence is as convincing as his hairpiece

But still, it's generated more commotion that when he walks by an old folks home so they'll be pleased all the same.

Nvidia shows off Tesla K10 performance

Bob Vistakin
Linux

Any comment from Linus?

Or even an encouraging gesture, perhaps?

iOS was SO much more valuable to Google than Android - until Maps

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Style over substance has always been the way with Apple. Their cynical targeting of the market segment with those with lower IQ's proves it. But, like antennagate, the fact it can't perform its main function doesn't matter to them as long as it's pretty.

Successful remnant of Motorola acquires successful remains of Psion

Bob Vistakin
Unhappy

Depends on the shape of its corners and the gullibility of the patent authorities :-(

Apple, Samsung snatch smartphone biz booty

Bob Vistakin
FAIL

It's all ended in tears - who'd have thought it?

How happy things were back when the Nokia Microsoft deal was announced.

Nokia’s Chief Executive Stephen Elop said that "Nokia and Microsoft will combine our strengths to deliver an ecosystem with unrivalled global reach and scale. It's now a three-horse race."

Nokia's Great Software Cleansing scrubs off everything since the '90s

Bob Vistakin
Devil

From a burning platform, to the fiery pits of hell

When Stephen Elop became CEO of Nokia, he was Microsofts 8th largest individual shareholder.

He was a dodgy bastard even before Blamer sent him to rape Nokia - the right man for the job, then.

Foundering Nokia pushes 10,000 bods, 3 veeps overboard

Bob Vistakin
Holmes

What's this "ex" shit?

Android activations near a million a day

Bob Vistakin
FAIL

Yet the iSheep still insist on the one with the wifi's and bigger geebee's

Some things never change: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FL7yD-0pqZg

Microsoft so sorry for limp wedding tackle gag gaffe

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Re: The real problem

Correct. Microsoft are an old joke - the comedy gift that just keeps on giving. Oh how insignificant this will seem once the Windows 8 reviews start. The real ones that is, and not the usual shillfest.

Apple-Moto patent gripe almost thrown out the door

Bob Vistakin
Holmes

Apple has peaked

All the signs are there. The me-too features in the next iPhone will just go to prove it.

Twitter bird reborn to the sound of whalesong

Bob Vistakin
Unhappy

Only twats tweet

That is all.

Watchdog relieves iPhone 5 scammers of £10k

Bob Vistakin
Devil

Thanks for the heads up, this looks worth it

More reassurance scams work under this "government".

"PhonePayPlus estimated that the scammers made between £50,000 and £100,000 out of the service. As well as the £10,000 fine..." Min profit £40k, possible £90k? Lemme guess, there's a tory minister sitting on the PPS board, Wonga-style.

Samsung 'to launch Galaxy S III in US', snubs Apple's ban bid

Bob Vistakin
FAIL

Apparently the iPhone 5 has "cleaner UI" and "auto-updating apps"

Plus a larger screen. Way to innovate, Apple. For a sneak preview on how all this works out, check any Android handset from a couple of years ago.

Microsoft backsteps Azure from platform to infrastructure cloud

Bob Vistakin
Linux

Hi! I'm Cloudy - it looks like you're trying to install Linux. Would you like some help with that?

Press 1 to install SP8 KnowledgeBase Ultimate Consumer Edition (Simplified)

Press 2 to reboot. You'll be doing this a lot once you're on Linux under our toy software.

Press 3 to order superglue for your eyelids ready for when Metro arrives

Press 4 to Get the Facts on why Linux is so bad for you.

Press 5 to order a £5 watch which keeps a better calendar than azure.

Samsung Galaxy Tab 'a harmful drug', says Apple in ban bid fail

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

This will come back to haunt Apple ten times worse

They really do plan to launch a large, black, flat, rectangular device for watching moving images on, with sound, of the type Samsung has been selling for the last 10 years, and expect the shit they keep pulling now to have all been forgotten by then? Spock: "Fascinating".

PC-makers hope for Windows 8 hero to sweep up sales

Bob Vistakin
FAIL

"million dollar back-door bungs"

"The Microsoft-backed launch of Nokia's Lumia range of Windows 7.5 phones at the end of last year is a recent reminder that marketing might and million dollar back-door bungs are not necessarily sufficient to get a new product into orbit."

NHS fights record £325k ICO fine after clap records appear on eBay

Bob Vistakin
Devil

Re: Tax payer to Government to NHS to Government funded by the Tax Payer.

The police do exactly the same when they're found guilty and "fined", i.e. the money comes from the pool we've paid into via taxes, and after all the middle men have had a nice big bite, goes, err, back into the same pool. Its a farce designed by clever lawyers to ensure no-one in the system really suffers, yet they always benefit financially whilst the PR guys ensure the public thinks its all been sorted. Again, paid for by us.

Oracle verdict double plus good for Linux movement

Bob Vistakin
Devil

But will Apple join it now Tim Cook has banished their old evil ways?

Oink oink.

NTT demos double-sided see-through smartphone

Bob Vistakin
Mushroom

Apple will innovate this now - you'll see it in a few years time

Their photocopiers are whirring away busily innovating, and the lawyers too on their rewriting history work so they can sue a few years after they launch it. Well, when you're plumb out of ideas but have a bank overflowing with the spoils of your iSheep fleecing what else can they do?

Oracle case crippled after judge rules APIs can’t be copyrighted

Bob Vistakin
Megaphone

Re: A very welcome outbreak of common sense

"I'd quote a famous Brit about what this is, but I won't offend you by getting it wrong."

Take your pick:

"You have my Cast Iron guarantee"

"I promise an end to boom and bust"

"I pledge no tuition fees" (oops, you said famous, scratch that one).

Bob Vistakin
Thumb Up

A very welcome outbreak of common sense

Could this be the start of something big?

Advertisers slam Microsoft over 'Do not track' decision

Bob Vistakin
Pint

Why worry about microsoft? They're about to commit suicide.

Or have you missed all the Metro shite they're about to shove in everyones face?

Windows 8: We kick the tyres on Redmond's new tablet wheels

Bob Vistakin
Holmes

I finally get it! It all makes sense now...

Microsoft are doing this so they can claim to have invented square corners. Genius. Soon, legally, all of computing (hardware and software) will belong to either Apple or them. So who's laughing at Metro now?

Microsoft hands out tools to sneak Skype onto new PCs

Bob Vistakin
Pint

I'm so glad ms bought Skype

Because as a long term user I naturally started looking for an alternative. I tried Google hangouts, and guess what? Even today, for > 2 people in a video conf you have to pay with Skype but with G+ ... well, as usual I don't even need to complete the sentence. G+ hangouts just got an Android update so you can *start* video conf calls from your handset. Its at the level of quality where, even if ms weren't involved with Skype, I'd switch anyway if had to compare both feature sets.

PayPal whips out barcode app for high-street glad rags

Bob Vistakin
FAIL

Sigh. "All the popular phones" = no WP7

This is getting tedious, but it needs pointing out nevertheless. Ok microsoft apologists, over to you. Remember, if you're plum out of arguments you can always have a go at me personally.

Jeremy Hunt 'sympathetic' to Murdoch's BSkyB bid

Bob Vistakin
Gimp

Ruperts bitch does what Murdoch tells him

What was that saying about it being time to go once you *are* the news?

I need to multitask, but Windows 8's Metro won't let me

Bob Vistakin
FAIL

I think you need to clarify one important point there. "Giant Mobile Phone" implies they're all the same, whereas "Giant Shit Mobile Phone" is the one they've gone for.

Bob Vistakin
Linux

You're making too much of this

Microsoft knows better than you what you want, so get with it or get to another platform.

Oh, wait...

Google's 7in Jelly Bean Android tablet spied in benchmark

Bob Vistakin
Thumb Up

I'd go for one

And I bet zillions of others will too, at that price, quality and most significant of all - freedom.

Windows 8 release preview imminent

Bob Vistakin
Linux

I love Metro

Because of what it's about to do for microsofts market share. The IE fall was a mere pinprick in comparison. It's already game over for servers and mobiles, this completes the hat trick.

Apple's Ping has fatal pong, says CEO

Bob Vistakin
Holmes

Re: *coughsplutter* Hahahhaha! Good one..

I find watching these two videos regarding build quality quite informative:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X54CdkRuSXw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m2NYtgWYefQ

Hands on with Nokia's 808 41Mp camphone

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

It's the apps, stupid.

Despite all the desperate attempts at persuading us otherwise, the ms shit they ruin great Nokia hardware with isn't even on the third party app crowds radar. Look at this new PayPal system: http://www.gizmodo.co.uk/2012/05/now-you-can-buy-stuff-on-the-uk-high-street-with-just-your-phone-and-paypal/#.T8Y7ANWtBhI.twitter, especially the quote about it just being on iPhone and Android handsets. Only the quality ones then. But this goes deeper - with all this talk of WP7 apps only running one some handsets and no-one having a clue about WP8. Fuck me, way to make sure none sell so you can swipe their IP from the ashes you made, Blamer.

Bob Vistakin
FAIL

Re: Question for the Windows Phone executive

@AC 12:11 Who would class it as a smartphone though?

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Re: blimey...

@AC 22:16 But "Microsoft’s Bing uses Google search results—and denies it" : http://googleblog.blogspot.co.uk/2011/02/microsofts-bing-uses-google-search.html

That article is still up there. Gosh, you'd have thought, bearing in mind all the zillions of ways its apologists have tried to point out it's flaws, *something* would have been done to bring it down in the year and a half since it went up. Or could its second sentence actually be irrefutably true: "However you define copying, the bottom line is, these Bing results came directly from Google."?

Again, I make zero comment on any other member of this forum. A pattern is forming here. Perhaps a "get the facts" campaign would be useful?

Bob Vistakin
Happy

Re: blimey...

http://goo.gl/0t3qt

At no point on this forum have I ever insulted another member, and I shall not do now. Instead I'll let the other readers draw their own conclusions from your post, the way the market has done so with WP7.

Bob Vistakin
FAIL

Re: blimey...

http://goo.gl/ElWr9

Bob Vistakin
Linux

Re: blimey...

Paybacks a bitch. Especially when there's 25 fucking years if it to make up for.

Bob Vistakin
Thumb Up

Re: blimey...

NoWin - the most aptly named partnership in tech.

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Re: blimey...

Yes everyone - stop reminding everyone how genuinely evil microsoft is, so they can continue being so.

Steve Jobs was top of the flops, says Apple's Tim Cook

Bob Vistakin
Happy

A visionary required, you say?

Word is there's a guy from Seattle with stunning industry insights who'll soon be available.

HTC slips One X, Evo 4G past Apple US patent ban

Bob Vistakin
Holmes

And *still* no-one picks up on this...

Apples new cuddly CEO suddenly wants to talk rather than litigate, just as they are about to bring out tellies with exactly the same look and feel as all the others Samsung, LG etc launched over the last 10 years. Yes lads, all that rounded corner nonsense was just a joke - you'll forget it all now we want to bring stuff out which we innovated from your designs, right? The same way we innovated our name from the Beatles record label, innovated all Androids 2+ year old features in our latest toy, and in fact are about to innovate the same screen size all the decent phones out today have in our next one.

Sony to bring bog-friendly blowers to Blighty

Bob Vistakin
WTF?

Speaking of toilets ... there's an app for that

Every pub and home) should have one - use your stream to play the guitar, and upload your performance when done: http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=b9b_1338322781

Microsoft forbids class actions in new Windows licence

Bob Vistakin
Holmes

Re: Well, I for one support this move.

Thanks everyone - the down votes make my real point much better than I could myself.

Bob Vistakin
Thumb Up

Well, I for one support this move.

Microsoft works really hard to build their systems and it's only fair they take sensible steps to protect their investment.

Facebook phone tagged for 2013 release

Bob Vistakin
Linux

What's the betting it's Android based, like Amazons kit?

Once again the closed guys take a journey down the U bend. Still, they know best.

Why don't the best techies work in the channel?

Bob Vistakin
Pint

Re: Ah, but you forgot the "sell by date"

Spot on - it's Logans Run in tech these days - you either have to run your own business (for real, not just a pretend one like these contractor "disguised employees" think they are) or be a journalist. Seems the grey haired old crumbly fuddy duddy coffin dodger who wrote this article is both :-)