* Posts by Bob Vistakin

1578 publicly visible posts • joined 24 Dec 2011

Licensing snafu leaves Windows 8 open to PIRATES

Bob Vistakin
Thumb Up

Re: Reddit, I think not.

<fx>Applause!</fx>

Bob Vistakin
FAIL

Re: It's part of the plan

That used to be true - now they beg work not to use it having seen the massive reduction in productivity it causes.

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Been using it today

Its genuinely terrible - a lot worse than my previous tinkering led me to believe, and I don't know how many thousands you'd have to pay *me* to use it, never mind all this "you can get it free now" malarkey. I certainly don't know anyone who wants it. Anyone with any doubts will have them all cleared up by catching a YouTube reaction, there's a few now - try this for starters:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuJBoq_iC2s

Why did Comet fail? Hint: It wasn't just the credit insurers

Bob Vistakin
FAIL

"consumers stay away .. avoid dogged selling of extended and expensive warranties"

Spot on - that's what put me off. They were sold so hard that you couldn't help but look into them properly and realise what a rip off they were. Then you start to wonder if the whole shop was too...

BRITISH BIGFOOT ON LOOSE in Tunbridge Wells

Bob Vistakin
Holmes

I find this as amazing as UFO's

Amazing i the sense that now everyone has a camera in their pocket, in the form of a phone or whatever, you never hear anything like the number of reports you did in the 70's and 80's when, err, we didn't. How savvy of those aliens - just to pick the exact decades when there was no proof other than peoples yarns - to fly all those light years to visit us.

Microsoft-Motorola patent row: Google wants $4 BEELLION a year

Bob Vistakin
WTF?

Re: Oh I see

Correct, because it happened in that order.

Bob Vistakin
Holmes

Ain't payback a bitch.

Extortionate?

"The $5 per Android handset they swiped from us set the bar, m'lud. Now we expect a similarly ridiculous figure in return."

Microsoft building poo-powered carbon-neutral data center

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

There's a YouTube video of said pile of poo in action:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuJBoq_iC2s

Oprah Winfrey too late to save Microsoft's Windows 8

Bob Vistakin
Linux

Re: Win 8 = Win

Helpful Bob to the rescue then - if you haven't seen Windows 8, YouTube will clear things up:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuJBoq_iC2s

Bob Vistakin
Pint

From the BBC website, June 1st 2013:

"It's been 8 months since the disastrous launch of Windows 8, and the long-suffering shareholders have finally had enough. Steve Ballmer the CEO blamed for the companies biggest failure ever, dwarfing even the Vista failure of 2007, has resigned having seen the share price plummet to a third of its value at the start of the year. Not even the hastily constructed "Consumer Desktop" Edition of 3 months ago, where the unfamiliar tiles interface was replaced with the Windows 7 one, plus the return of the start menu, was enough to get any kind of significant sales moving. The dominance of Android on the handset and tablets meant users who had seen and heard all the negative press regarding Windows 8 avoided sales there too, thus compounding the problem. Steve Sinofsky, Head of Android User Experience at Google, said "the writing was on the wall all along. I wish them well, but a significant culture change is needed before any good can emerge now. And they can start by listening to their users."

Apple's profits fetish could spell its DOOM

Bob Vistakin
Happy

Re: Surprise us all

Thumbs up from me - nice post!

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Huh? To see what Apple are innovating right now, just look at any Android handset. NFC, multi user accounts, widgets, proper notifications, proper multitasking, a framework for apps which actually do scale properly to different form factors rather than fobbing off with letterboxing and err, oh yes, maps. Followed a year later by them suing everyone who dared innovate their innovation first, natch.

Retailers report slow Windows 8 sales, low demand

Bob Vistakin
Paris Hilton

My wife, Clippy Metrozune, doesn't rate it much either.

Paris, for we talking of all style, no substance.

Bob Vistakin
Linux

:-)

That is all.

Design guru: Windows 8 is 'a monster' and 'a tortured soul'

Bob Vistakin
Linux

Re: .....

Fanboi alert?

The sales figures are starting to arrive, perhaps that will cheer them up: http://techland.time.com/2012/11/19/windows-8-the-seven-roads-not-taken/

Windows Phone 8 reboot woe causes outpouring of forum misery

Bob Vistakin
Headmaster

Re: @ AC @ 12:42 GMT

@ItsNoteMe The FACT that you USE that fucking annoying STYLE of capitalizing RANDOM words in your POST says it ALL, buddy.

Bob Vistakin
Linux

Re: Reg Readers these days...

"Microfans"? I though the name given to them had been established since it's just the obvious descriptive term:

Nokia + Windows = NoWins aka Losers

Bob Vistakin
FAIL

Sigh.

If only microsoft had invested the $5 per handset they extort from the Android manufacturers into some R&D instead of having to fake queues outside stores, photos it takes and "reviews" from their astroturfers infesting blogs and forums.

Bob Vistakin
Holmes

Anyone flashed one of these with Android?

The hardware looks decent enough, and it's unlikely to have exactly the same faults in the same places from different manufacturers. Would someone give it a go, just to tell us what we already know please? Well, apart from the bright yellow one which is clearly beyond redemption, no matter if it runs quality software or WP8.

I, for one, would like to welcome our Android overlord

Bob Vistakin
Joke

Isn't giving someone an iPhone just another way of saying "get lost" these days?

Google fine-tuning iOS mapping app for Apple submission

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Re: You sir have been sucked into Apple's versions of events.

"There's still room for improvement but it's perfectly usable."

http://theamazingios6maps.tumblr.com/post/33227341418/drives-onto-airport-runway

Bob Vistakin
Big Brother

Re: This is so funny

"preferring to push the point the Apple products were inferior to the Android product" - what's changed? If Apple allow this, it makes it even more obvious since the users will all avoid the onboard iOS maps.

"Siri, run a shit mapping app please" - up pops iOs maps.

"Siri, run a quality mapping app please" - up pops Google Maps.

Simples.

Woz: Microsoft's innovation lead 'worries me greatly'

Bob Vistakin
Happy

The Market agrees

Apple stock plunges again

http://www.usatoday.com/story/money/markets/2012/11/15/apple-stock-falls/1707469/

New Microsoft Windows chief 'shocked' by Sinofsky defenestration

Bob Vistakin
Big Brother

Re: I wonder if

Perhaps there is more of a parallel here than people realise, except in Sinofskys case it was the W8 disaster apology letter he refused to sign.

Bob Vistakin
Happy

And so it begins

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schadenfreude

Pollster predicts mega UK smart TV sales

Bob Vistakin
Headmaster

It's a cut n paste job from the same report 2 years ago

s/3D/Internet

Apple staff call Taiwanese filmmaker an 'idiot'

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

If he deals with Apple he is an idiot

What the issue here?

Automatic Facebook couple pages: Nauseating sign of desperation

Bob Vistakin
Holmes

Re: What if . . .

A Mitch Romney type Mormon you mean? They'd need a 1-many entity relationship manager. Then again, they're in San Francisco, so it'd need to be many-many.

Android and Apple OS shares show mountain MS must climb

Bob Vistakin
Happy

Still, I find those figures *lovely* and 2013 - the year history will come to call "Microsofts year of Hell" - hasn't even started yet.

Mobile phone sales slump bites Nokia

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Re: Wow

Then Engadget should have been called "a bunch of absolute cretins, since microsoft don't make phones" - their business is more along the lines of wrecking the ones that do, like Sendo and Nokia, and then scarpering with the loot just before the shit hits the fan, like this asshole did, as if he thought they'd be able to fix the shite he showed in the only video of him anyone will remember: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4QRWa68MtLc

Bob Vistakin
Linux

Yes, and seeing as we're talking about *all* phones, please add microsofts share. Oh, I see - it won't make any difference, sorry.

El Reg mulls Forums icon portfolio shake-up

Bob Vistakin
Go

Android / Apple / Microsoft

Android taking a much bigger bite out of Apple.

A wrinkled old Apple full of maggots

Microsoft - just a broken window with rats leaping out of it will do

Nokia - similar, since it's just a microsoft department now, but make that a sinking ship sailing away from a burning platform..

Windows 8 security is like a swiss cheese flak jacket - sez AV firm

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Fallapartgate

I coined this phrase in another thread, and it fits what we're seeing here perfectly - microsoft itself, its crappy tablets and of course its unusable software which is as big a joke when it comes to security as its always been.

Sinofsky OFFSKI: Is Windows 9 now codenamed 'Defenestrate'?

Bob Vistakin
Headmaster

Re: Oh dear

"...misquote by the French magazine"

They actually said merde.

Bob Vistakin
Holmes

He was on a burning platform

W8 on desktops and handsets is so obviously set to fail that he scarpered before the pubic get wind of how bad it really is, and it's all over the tech press for months. Who knows? He may go to Nokia - their asshole of a leader is now standing on that same burning platform, so kicking them all out and going Android would make him the turnaround hero of the century.

Brits swallow Google Nexus 4 supply 'in 30 minutes'

Bob Vistakin
Joke

Drat.

Well, nothing else for it. I'll just have to get one of those bright yellow WP8 models then.

Windows boss Steve Sinofsky exits Microsoft

Bob Vistakin
Pint

If he's responsible for Win8, he's damaged microsoft far more than any mere blogger could, so you get a thumbs up from me for making that crystal clear.

Bob Vistakin
Linux

WTF? I use Bob every day. IE for Bob is hands down the fastest, easiest and most reliable way to surf the net, and IE for Kin the best for mobile bar none. Android users can only weep at the news you never hear of viruses for that handset. Anyway, just because *you* don't like them, doesn't mean everyone doesn't. Why, I was just given a lecture here recently after mentioning WP8 market share when the ms astroturfers told me market share is no measure of quality, quoting the Sun as an example. Unlike the rapidly-ending decades of desktop OS dominance they enjoyed, for some reason.

And it's only going to get better - Microsoft Bob Cloud Enterprise 1.0 (Professional) is due early next year - we'll see who's laughing then!

Samsung turns screws on Apple, hikes A6 processor price 20%

Bob Vistakin
Pint

Re: $25 Android pad coming soon...

"Under* estimates, of course.

Surface sales 'modest' so far, Ballmer modestly admits

Bob Vistakin
FAIL

@AC 11:58 I know here they both went, too. Here's the autotune version for a little variety: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_x9sAyYz-U

Bob Vistakin
Linux

Re: Not surprising

Who'd have thought it - these app less, overpriced tablets running experimental, untested software which come apart at the seams after less than a weeks use aren't doing too well. Still, at least the WP8 sales figures are looking good. Aren't they?

India gets $25 Android tablet

Bob Vistakin
Linux

Open in action

Would $25 even cover the license fee of any alternative?

Teen project sparks WORLD-WIDE PEE-POWERED HYPEGASM!

Bob Vistakin
Pint

Re: beat me to it

Its the second actually, and Steorn were the first when it comes to taking the piss too: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steorn

Microsoft Surface Touch keyboards self-destruct – and more

Bob Vistakin
Linux

Re: Falling apart at the seams?

Fallapartgate has a nice ring to it, and it's great to see this picking up so much press now:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/blog/2012/nov/09/microsoft-surface-cover-flaw

http://news.cnet.com/8301-10805_3-57547549-75/surface-tablets-touch-cover-splits-at-seam-users-gripe/

http://www.zdnet.com/microsoft-admits-surface-keyboard-splitting-problem-7000007189/

Bob Vistakin
IT Angle

Re: just pull an apple...

Seems this is exactly what they are doing now with the launch of Microsoft Reality Distortion Field 1.0. See it in action here, where they claim their lower resolution display gives a higher resolution than a, err, higher resolution one:

http://news.cnet.com/8301-10805_3-57534066-75/microsoft-surface-beats-the-ipad-in-display-quality/

Bob Vistakin
FAIL

Falling apart at the seams?

Oh, you're talking about their *products* this time.

Walmart workers filmed playing iPad frisbee

Bob Vistakin
WTF?

Re: Idiots

There was a similar thing about the Dominos staff picking their noses on pizzas, yet they somehow did a masterful job of erasing that and you can hardly find a mention of it now. I did, though:

http://www.blippitt.com/video-disgusting-dominos-pizza-employee-picks-nose-abuses-food/

Apple-v-Samsung $1bn iPhone fine: 'Jury foreman was biased'

Bob Vistakin
Stop

Agreed - if he ignored the judges instructions then by definition this was a mistrial.

Apple is granted a patent on the rectangle. No, really

Bob Vistakin
Devil

Re: Can't go on forever

Correct - and it would all be laughable had this nasty combination of corruption and stupidity not just cost Samsung $1bn.