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* Posts by Bob Vistakin

1587 posts • joined 24 Dec 2011

Facebook names former Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg head of global affairs

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Cameron off to Google, Blair off to Amazon

But thanks to Treason May we stay in the EU.

2
7

300,000 BT pensioners await Court of Appeal pension scheme ruling

Bob Vistakin
Paris Hilton

BT shat on it's employees when they worked for them

So continuing this fine tradition is no problem at all, especially now they can't fight back.

A sad Paris, because it's poo you answer to.

2
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Microsoft has signed up to the Open Invention Network. We repeat. Microsoft has signed up to the OIN

Bob Vistakin
Pint

If it knows it lost mobile, it knows it can lose a heck of a lot more

No panic here for the rest of us, it's just a drowning corporate clutching at whatever it can.

4
2

LinkedIn has a Glint in its eye and cash burning a hole in its pocket

Bob Vistakin

Re: Once upon a time

Correct. The MS reverse Midas touch always repulses everyone to seek alternatives when they can.

3
2

Punkt: A minimalist Android for the paranoid

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Then, amid the oohs and aahs, the small boy said "but he has no clothes on!"

WTF does this give you a £20 burner from ASDA doesn't?

8
0

Google now minus Google Plus: Social mini-network faces axe in data leak bug drama

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

What about the "Login with Google+" buttons you see everywhere?

Google can just flick a switch and it goes dark. What about the zillions of websites and apps that 3rd parties they encouraged to wire in their services this way? All those share buttons?

3
1

IBM won't grow, says analyst firm while eyeing flatlining share price

Bob Vistakin
Childcatcher

Re: Not Surprised

The process those spreadsheet wielding PHB's use to manage the techies who actually do the work is known as the Intense Bowel Movement.

1
1
Bob Vistakin
IT Angle

This "IBM Cloud" you speak of

When it launches, please report on it. Everyone will be curious about it in a dancing bear kind of way.

5
2

Microsoft: OK, we have no phones, but look how much we love Android

Bob Vistakin
Holmes

Re: Surprised they don't make their own Android phones

Head spinning thought: If MS made Android phones, would they still charge Google the royalties they extort per handset from other manufacturers in patent fees?

2
1

Google is 20, Chrome is 10, and Microsoft would rather ignore the Nokia deal's 5th birthday

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Blamer and Bill Gates don't talk anymore

Wonder why?

3
1

Microsoft takes another whack at killing off Windows Phone 8.x

Bob Vistakin
Holmes

Re: Why would you buy a phone from Microsoft ever again?

Microsoft failing in mobile is one of the textbook examples students will be taught from now on - alongside Ratner etc.

It's also wierd to think they busted Google for every Android handset sold on the patents, but now get ass reamed by them for everything they sell on their app store https://goo.gl/NhV35i, and dance to any tune Google play if they want any kind of presence on 80% of the worlds mobile platform.

13
1
Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

It had an app store?

Blimey!

9
5

Click this link and you can get The Register banned in China

Bob Vistakin
Megaphone

As long as no-one mentions they eat dogs

We'll all be OK. Oh, wait...

2
0

Brit web host biz UKFast gears up to IPO on London Stock Exchange

Bob Vistakin
Thumb Down

Re: Junk

This is one of those situations where a bad taste has been left in my mouth from early experience with them, and whilst simple common sense tells me they are probably better now, I'm just not even interested in finding out.

0
0

BBC websites down tools and head outside into the sun for a while

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Gary Lineker's BBC salary is £1.7m pa

Well worth every penny. Can't think of anywhere better to spend it.

4
0

Sorry, Neil Armstrong. Boffins say you may not have been first life-form to set foot on the Moon

Bob Vistakin
Megaphone

Re: "..one small step..."

https://youtu.be/ygnTysoKnvU

0
0
Bob Vistakin
Megaphone

Re: "..one small step..."

You know NASA's official position on the telemetry tapes for all 6 missions is that they are "lost"? Someone totted up how much space and weight they would have taken up, and its just over 1 ton.

Gosh, that is clumsy.

5
11

Dixons Carphone profits drop 24% amid hack 'n' high street struggles

Bob Vistakin
Pint

This icon

Says all I need to ------------------------------------------------------------------->

2
0

Dixons to shutter 92 UK Carphone Warehouse shops after profit warning

Bob Vistakin
Thumb Up

Re: No surprise

Thumbs up.

Proud to say the decades I spent avoiding them since being similarly burnt by CPW have in a small way contributed to their demise.

3
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Ex-staffer of UK.gov dept bags payout after boss blabbed medical info to colleagues

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

You don't get sacked from the DWP

It's an open secret everyone there is because they are the literal dregs of the jobs market, the living dead for whom the slightest glimmer of hope is daily and systematically drummed out of them before they get any ideas.

I remember having to prove to my manager that my pen was truly out of ink before he would issue a replacement from the stationary cupboard. I remember having to return wall clocks to their previous, and wrong, position having helpfully moved them on a Monday after they went forward/backwards, only to be told "that's an electricians job, do you want to cause a strike"? Sure enough, an hour later said robot plodded in to do the essentials. I remember a "desktop ergonomics consultant" coming round to everyone to tell them where the best place to put their coffee mat, ruler, pen and paper was on their desks.

People *have* to work there, but since it's a given the jobs and people are the last desperate scraps before the dole there's no point getting rid of any once in. You only get more of the same by way of replacement.

12
0

T-Mobile owner sends in legal heavies to lean on small Brit biz over use of 'trademarked' magenta

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

New icon required

I propose this for anyone making such claims: https://img.memecdn.com/w-anchor_o_54030.webp

2
0

Danish submariner sent down for life for murder of journalist Kim Wall

Bob Vistakin
Pint

You mean they didn't believe her head fell off when the hatch hit it?

Gosh. Unusually, justice really did prevail for once.

4
1

UK consumer help bloke Martin Lewis is suing Facebook over fake ads

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

"You just won't believe why Dragon's Den was cancelled"

Alongside a picture of one of them with a black eye.

Or how about a photo of a battered Richard Branson alongside some equally dramatic "rushed to hospital" story.

The list goes on.

To Reg readers, these are as credible as an economic forecast from Diane Abbott, but I long suspected they are being run via some offshore loophole too difficult to close, but still making money for ZuckerData, hence the bind eye being turned.

28
3

Now IBM turns redundo gun on its Digital Business Group

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Intense Bowel Movement

From management to staff, as usual.

21
0

Tech’s big lie: Relations between capital and labor don't matter

Bob Vistakin
Mushroom

Unions in which country though?

This article swerves the obvious contradiction it throws up. When everything's been offshored, how do you unionize your new peanuts sweat shops? Could it be that's one of the cynical reasons this was done in the first place?

21
1

Java-aaaargh! Google faces $9bn copyright bill after Oracle scores 'fair use' court appeal win

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Google's biggest blunder

Not buying Sun when it had the chance. It went for $7.4bn. As things stand, Oracle got it for nowt plus a healthy surplus. See icon.

Still, we're all on Kotlin now - aren't we?

11
0

How a QR code can fool iOS 11's Camera app into opening evil.com rather than nice.co.uk

Bob Vistakin
Boffin

Not all of them: SQRL.

1
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No, Stephen Hawking's last paper didn't prove the existence of a multiverse

Bob Vistakin
Headmaster

"vertical particles"?

Please. It's "virtual."

Well, it is in my universe ;-)

8
0

Phone-free Microsoft patents Notch-free phone

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Re: Oh dear

Microsoft are merely continuing the policy of their only meaningful contribution to the mobile phone industry being negative. They were forced down this route when some asshole there with zero vision rolled around laughing at the iPhone, so obliterating themselves from the future of personal computing.

I hear Bill Gates is no longer even on speaking terms with Blamer. Chuckle.

3
4

Brit retailer Currys PC World says sorry for Know How scam

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Can't work out who is thicker

Their staff or their customers. And no, being rumbled on this latest scam doesn't change that.

5
13

Windows Mixed Reality: Windows Mobile deja vu?

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Re: Microsoft is a toxic brand

Here's someone from Microsoft rolling around laughing, back when they were in mobile.

0
0
Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Re: Microsoft is a toxic brand

"Me too" Microsoft - always joining the party just as everyone leaves.

2
1
Bob Vistakin
Pint

Re: Bob

I'm for it.

1
0
Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Re: Pointless

It's 3D glasses for TV all over again.

Yeah, sure, all the family will have no problem sitting there in silence with those specs on getting headaches watching a distorted TV picture. The solution, for those hold-outs who don't get the memo, is to just keep on blindly shovelling money down the same marketing black hole. It's gotta work then, right?

7
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Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Things are different under SadNads

He knows better than to hold a funeral for his competitors way before his own product has eaten all their lunches.

7
1

Oracle UK's profits have more than halved

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Plus, once you've invested big time and are locked in, Orrible change the goalposts every time they feel like it re licensing, with only one thing in common every time: your bill goes up.

0
0
Bob Vistakin
Big Brother

Re: You can only get away with a screw you attitude...

They are to databases what Blackberry were to mobiles. Sure, they worked hard to cement their position early on, and for a while seemed unassailable, but this arrogance caused them to stop innovating whilst the competition were closing in fast behind them. Now they've been overtaken, and despite a few years of comedy watching them scramble to try to keep up, know the game is over

Most java users hated Orrible before they needlessly shat all over them, so they can't even blame that for the bad sentiment towards them.

As others have pointed out, there are far better solutions around now, using any measure, and their problem, like IBM etc, is everybody damn well knows it.

0
3
Bob Vistakin
Happy

Re: Oracle... soon to follow HP

"Unfortunately for them our DBA hates Oracle with a passion and just chucks their CVs in the bin."

Fortunately, he's not alone, and an angel tinkles a bell every time it happens by way of celebration.

4
1

Jupiter has the craziest storms seen yet, say boffins

Bob Vistakin
Pint

Pepperoni to go?

Or Hot 'n' Spicy?

8
0

Shock poll finds £999 X too expensive for happy iPhone owners

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

#PayMoreGetLess

Baaa - you're bleating about it wrong.

3
1

Google Flutter hits beta: Another go at cross-platform mobile dev

Bob Vistakin
Boffin

Re: Optional

I'm reminded of the early days of java UI's, and the AWT vs Swing wars. Wasn't that exactly the same difference, i.e. one (AWT) used the UI widgets supplied in the host framework whereas the other (Swing) rendered every pixel itself?

2
0

Neil Young slams Google, after you log in to read his rant with Google or Facebook

Bob Vistakin
Pint

Musicians Lynyrd Skynyrd have spent years having a go at Neil Young

I'm embarrased to say I only recently found out what one of my favourite tunes is all about, when I took the time to actually listen to the lyrics of Sweet Home Alabama.

9
5

The Gemini pocket PC is shipping and we've got one. This is what it's like

Bob Vistakin
Happy

Nokia

If they'd stayed the course, this is the sort of thing they'd be launching about now.

I bet they are watching this "new" form factor sector very closely indeed!

11
0

Microsoft ends notifications for Win-Phone 7.5 and 8.0

Bob Vistakin
Holmes

"Remember the Kin?"

Yes Jack, I do.

Do you remember Bob, and Vista? A similar story, as my friend Metro Clippyzune would testify.

2
4
Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

'Without notifications Windows Phone's "Find your phone" feature won't work'

Alas, I never did see one in the wild, so nothing changes for me there. Microsoft abandoned mobile, the obvious future of personal computing, at exactly the same time the world moved over to it.

It now dances to it's arch enemies tune. Have you seen how many apps they have on the Play Store now? It tugs it's forelock every time they see them. The Beast does a little dance on it's hind legs every time they snap their fingers. I could go on, but that would be moving from comedy to cruelty.

Basil Fawlty: "Still, you know best dear."

2
5

If you don't like what IBM is pitching, blame Watson: It's generating sales 'solutions' now

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Did Warren Buffet miss the memo?

He just ditched 94.5 percent of his IBM holdings.

1
0

IBM declares it's the 'backbone of the world's economy'

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Why the obsession with watching them circle the drain?

It was game over a decade ago. All the smart one's who could, got out back then.

Now, all the work it will do for it's customers will be from countries President Trump has a special word for.

3
0

Stephen Elop and the fall of Nokia revisited

Bob Vistakin
Facepalm

Just let this sink in.

This page, showing the history of microsofts partners in mobile, has been up since 2011.

18
2
Bob Vistakin
Holmes

Tut tut tut

Seems there was no space to mention Elop being microsoft's 8th largest individual shareholder when he trojaned his way into the Nokia CEO slot, so I'll helpfully mention it now.

37
6

You won't believe this: Nokia soars back into phone-flinger top 3

Bob Vistakin
Pint

LineageOS

Heads up for those who love the stock Android these new Nokia's sport.

Every handset I own older than 2 years is now running a custom ROM, most LineageOS, which get more frequent, and automatic, updates than those the manufacturers provide. It's what took over from Cyanogen.

Check out the device list - it even includes the PC

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