Posts by Captain DaFt

The first time machine builder...

Had better test it in a large, open area!

The last theory I read said that if you build a time machine, you can't travel any further back than the first time it's first turned on. So... the best test that a time machine works is that someone from the future pops out of it to witness the first time machine being activated.

Of course, thousands, possibly millions of time travelers will want to witness such an historic event, so there will be a flood of people popping out of it to witness it's creation.

I'd recommend plenty of restroom facilities and a good caterer!

On another note:

Say Bob has built a time machine, but keeps it locked for security reasons.

Jim wants to use it and asks Bob for the key.

Bob: "Ok, but I have an experiment ready to go in two minutes."

Jim: "No problem, I'll come back before I leave!"

So, just as Bob reaches for his pocket to get the key, Jim pops out of the machine, back from his trip, and tosses the key to The Jim that hasn't left yet, who then enters the machine and leaves. (You still with me?)

Now here's the question: If Bob reaches into his pocket, is the key still there?

Signal Cancelling Technology

In some areas, the optics cables are bundled into larger cables, some as big around as a forearm. To make matters worse, these large bundles are often found right on top of the ground along side of roads out in the midwestern US!

If you ask why, words like "ease of access", and "cost efficiency" are lobbed at you.

It's not too uncommon to hear of them being cut by farmer's plowing, or shot up, or even burned in the occasional brushfire.

(El Reg really needs a WTF? icon for this type of stupidity!)

@Steven Hewittt

I'll make you a challenge, put me in front of any system with PII or better, 128M memory, and a CD drive, no OS installed (Heck, leave out the hard drive if you're feeling sporty), and I'll have a configured system up and running in less than 2 minutes. AND be cruising the internet on Seamonkey if the box is hooked up!

Puppy ( http://puppylinux.ca/ ) can do that, can XP?

(Won't even bother picking on VISTA, it can't even boot up that fast!)

Re: New TV Show

You may be on to something there, Ron! Put a hundred "celebrities" on the south pole, and once a week, TV viewers vote on who can't leave. The winning celebrity is the one allowed to leave at the end of the season, the rest are left there when production is finished.

Might just improve the whole entertainment industry!

The real effect of EMF

The only effect I've been able to determine from all the new forms of radiation we're exposed to today (WiFi, Bluetooth, satellite, cellphones, etc.) is this:

Right now, due to the pervasiveness of the internet, porn is passing through your body! W00T!

@ Daniel Snowden

"When Microsoft discontinues support for XP I have a nagging suspicion that they'll discontinue product activation. You'll be able to continue using XP but come reinstall time, guess what you'll have to install?"

Um, anything I want? These days, anything can be run, either with virtualization, or emulation. Case in point, I've got a test machine running Win 3.1 installed on Dosbox.

Finally able to play some old games I hadn't been able to in years! (Some of the oldies just don't run right or work at all on anything higher.)

@ amanfromMars

"Is that just too cynical or right on the nose?"

Pretty dead on, if you ask me. The broadcast companies all seem to be saying. "We don't care if everyone drives cars now, you DO still need buggy whips to drive, we have the federal subsidies to prove it!"

Hmmph, I'm replying to amanfromMars... time to up the meds. Maybe The Register needs a WTF? icon.

Signal Cancelling Technology

"Woot" has been around at least since the'70's. At least that's when I first encountered it.

"Ut", "Woot". and "Zut" were the three most used exclamations by the Super Hero the Flaming Carrot, "The strangest man alive", written and illustrated by Bob Burden.

(Both the artist and his creation were my childhood heros, which probably explains a lot)

Linux rising...

If nobody is using, or switching to Linux based OS's, then why was I burning Puppylinux disks this Thanksgiving holiday for family members that wanted a copy?

Seems if nothing else, a lot of "Joe Normals" are actually starting to suspect that there may be other/better alternatives out there.

@ Anonymous Coward

"Where did this "In Soviet Russia" crap came from?

I have seen it used many times, and would like to know the origin"

Here ya go; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yakov_Smirnoff

In Soviet Russia, Google searches You!

@ Chris Miller

Actually, with the resolution of the optics used, they have a pretty good idea of the size and albedo (brightness) of the objects they're tracking. It's just in this case, the object unintentionally fit the parameters of an asteroid:

"The main spacecraft measures 2.8 x 2.1 x 2.0 metres, on which all subsystems and payload equipment are mounted. There are two 14-metre solar panels with a total area of 64 square metres. At launch, the vehicle weighs approximately 3000 kilograms (fully fuelled) including 1670 kilograms of propellant, 165 kilograms of scientific payload for the orbiter, and 100 kilograms for the lander."*

So that gives a width of about 30 metres, plus the solar panels had "Hundreds of thousands of specially developed non-reflective silicon cells"* which gave it a low albedo profile.

So a 30 metre, low albedo object streaking at high speed toward a near Earth fly-by. Not actually Earth shattering, but if it was an asteroid that size instead of a controlled probe, you definitely wouldn't want to chance it impacting the Earth.

*Quotes taken from http://www.esa.int/esaSC/120389_index_0_m.html

@ BiTwister

> Microsoft strongly believes that individuals, governments and other organisations should be free to choose the software and other technologies that best meet their needs.

Not a joke, just a misunderstanding. The phrase "that best meets their needs", refers to Microsoft of course.

Battle of the mobe

Apparently coverage of the great battle hasn't reached all corners of the globe yet.

Full report here: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/11/01/mobe_liberated/

It still makes me smile to read that. :)

Interested, but...

I've been following the press releases about the eee with interest, it sounds like a great machine, but the price has climbed with every announcement!

And now the 8 gig version won't even be released here? Looks like I'll just have to spend my $400.00 on a regular laptop (with higher specs!) and install PuppyOS on it.

The real killer apps

Make a robot that's agile and smart enough to fetch a beer from the fridge, and not bring a jar of mayonaise instead, and men will buy it in droves.

Make it spend its spare time wandering the house, picking up clothes, putting them in the hamper, and picking up trash and putting it in the trashcan (And NOT confusing the two!), and the housewives will insist their hubbys get one pronto!

One small complaint...

"6. Thou shalt not get involved in a land war in Asia."

A good rule, but isn't it misplaced? Every body knows that rule 6 is;

6. There is NO rule number 6!

Well, I rarely wear a coat, so I'll just get me cap.

Mice with genetically enhanced speech?

Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

@Sceptical Bastard

But these 'hackneyed and bloody irritating' little quirks are what make The Register 'El Reg'!

If they quit doing these idiosyncratic things, how long would it be before you're saying, "The Register? I used to read it before they became just like everybody else."

Viva La Reg!

Ho-Kay...

I'd like to add my vote for the FSM icon, definitely needed for those that suffer from the wrath of ID-iots.

Conversely, a "No Darwin" symbol icon for the ID-iots to use (I am fair, after all.)

I'll also cast my vote for a Linux penguin icon, or maybe a more generic "OS" icon for open source in general.

And lastly, my own contribution, how about a "Straight-jacket " icon for those times the madness is threatening to drive the poor poster crazy(er)?